A Trusting Heart

by Judith Mccoy Miller

  “Get things settled?” Gloria asked as Claire walked back into the office.

  “We haven’t even begun to get it worked out. I’m supposed to meet with Lyle and Dave later this morning. I hope that the three of us can reach some type of resolution. If we don’t get it settled, I can see myself out of town all the time. As it is, I’m gone at least two nights a week traveling all over the state and then going to the meetings in Kansas City on top of that. It’s just too much,” Claire explained.

  “You’re preaching to the choir,” Gloria said, giving her friend a smile. “I said Dave wasn’t playing fair a long time ago, remember?”

  “Yes, I do remember. I guess I didn’t realize how this thing was going to mushroom.”

  “If you ask me, this is just too small an office to be handling that large of an account. I never did understand why Rutherford chose a small firm in Junction City. After all, we’re almost two hundred miles away. You’d think they would want one of those big Kansas City law firms, wouldn’t you?”

  “I wondered the same thing, but it all boils down to money. We give them several monetary advantages that they wouldn’t receive from a big Kansas City firm,” Claire stated.

  “Like what?” Gloria inquired, leaning forward and resting her folded arms across the top of her desk.

  “Our hourly rate is lower, for one thing, especially when they use a paralegal. Even Lyle and Dave don’t charge the hourly rate of a typical Kansas City firm. Also, our locale is really an asset for them. Most of the companies that Rutherford insures are outside of the metropolitan area. I don’t have to travel as far to investigate claims as a Kansas City-based attorney. On most trips, an attorney who lived in Kansas City would stay out overnight. I can make it back home—even if it is close to midnight.”

  “So they’re willing to put up with the inconvenience of having out-of-town representation,” Gloria replied.

  “What inconvenience? We’re at their beck and call. Most of the litigation ends up in this part of the state and farther west, not Kansas City. I’m there for all of their meetings, and John Merickson knows that his calls are a priority. I don’t think they’d ever begin to get the same kind of treatment from a big Kansas City firm that we’re giving them,” Claire explained.

  “One thing about it, Claire, that account sure has stabilized the income of this office. We don’t have to worry about settling big cases to pay the bills or about having enough money to front the expenses to defend someone. The financial management has run a lot more smoothly with those Rutherford checks coming in every month.”

  “I know,” Claire replied almost apologetically. “That’s one of the reasons I’m so concerned about this whole thing. I know Dave and Lyle have become dependent on that money.”

  “Among the three of you, someone is bound to come up with a solution,” Gloria remarked encouragingly. “I’d better get these pleadings done, or I’m going to be in hot water. Lyle’s expecting to go over the first drafts when he gets back.”

  Claire sat staring at her desk for a few moments, knowing she wouldn’t regain her ability to concentrate until after the discussion with her bosses. The ringing phone on her desk startled her out of the drifting course her mind had taken. Picking up the receiver, she automatically grabbed a pencil and paper, poised to write down any necessary information.

  “Hello.”

  “Claire? This is Sandra. Sandra over at Michelle’s house,” she continued when there was no response.

  “Oh, yes, Sandra. Is anything wrong? Is Michelle sick?”

  “Everything’s just fine, and so is Michelle. We’re having a little party on Saturday, kind of a belated Valentine’s Day party, and wondered if you’d like to join us?”

  “I would love to. I was planning on coming over on Saturday to take Michelle to see The Muppet Movie. How about if we take all the girls?”

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” Sandra said. “Shelly will be on cloud nine for a week if she gets to see a movie with those Muppet characters. If she thinks seeing their show for an hour once a week on television is good, wait until she sees that big screen full of Muppets for a full-length movie,” Sandra said. “What time does the movie start?”

  “Either one-thirty or four o’clock. Which works better for you?” Claire asked.

  “One-thirty. Lunch will be over, and we’ll still have plenty of time to get to the theater ahead of time. Why don’t you meet us at the theater?” Sandra suggested.

  “Sounds great. I’ll stop and pick up some Dairy Queen afterwards—strawberry sundaes. They’re red and white and ought to fit in with the Valentine’s Day theme.”

  Sandra laughed. “I think the Valentine’s party has turned into a Muppet extravaganza.”

  “Do you mind?” Claire asked, realizing that she had pushed aside Sandra’s idea in favor of her own.

  “You know better than that. When there’s something these girls enjoy doing, I’m all for it. Besides, we both know they’re going to enjoy that movie more than any party I can dream up. We’ll have a great time.”

  “Thanks, Sandra. I’ll see you Saturday,” Claire said, hanging up the phone just as Lyle walked in the door.

  “Got those pleadings done, Gloria?” he asked while shedding his overcoat. “Hi, Claire. How was Kansas City?” he asked, without waiting to hear Gloria’s answer.

  “It was full of surprises,” she said quietly.

  He gave her a grim smile and walked toward Dave’s office. “Anyone in there with him?”

  Claire shook her head and watched as Lyle walked into his partner’s office. About the time Claire decided that they were going to eliminate her from the discussion, her intercom rang.

  “You want to come in here?” David asked as soon as she’d answered the call.

  “If you’d have kept on dating Lyle, this wouldn’t have become a problem. He would have put a stop to all your traveling a long time ago,” Josie declared as she sorted through the mail.

  “That’s no reason to date someone. Besides, who told you I ever dated Lyle?”

  “Whoops,” the younger girl said, casting a glance toward Gloria.

  Claire shook her head at the two of them as she walked toward Dave’s office. She stood in front of the door for just a few seconds. Lord, give me the right words to say. You know how much I need this job; You know how much I dislike the traveling; and You know what’s best for me. I’m placing my trust in You, Lord, knowing that whatever happens will be for the best. Thank you for your abiding love. Amen.

  “Sit down, Claire,” Lyle offered, indicating the chair she’d occupied earlier that morning.

  “I was beginning to think you two had reached a solution without me,” she nervously stated.

  “Well, I don’t think we’ve reached a solution, but we’ve hashed around some of the obvious problems with keeping the account as well as the possibility of dumping it,” Lyle responded. “Quite frankly, Rutherford Insurance gives us financial security during the lean times as well as providing us with the latitude to accept cases that we might otherwise be forced to pass up. I think it would be a grievous error to dump the account.”

  Claire felt her stomach lurch. Lyle was taking a stand directly against her.

  “I have to say that I’m not willing to give up the account either, Claire,” Dave quickly asserted. “That is the one clear-cut decision we have made thus far. We are going to keep the Rutherford Insurance account.”

  “Have you decided how you’re going to keep it?” Claire quietly asked, looking first at Lyle and then toward Dave.

  “No. That’s the hard part, and you need to be a part of that discussion,” Lyle replied. “We’ve discussed several ideas. This is really Dave’s account, and I have limited expertise in the area. . .”

  “Not that you couldn’t learn it in a heartbeat, if you were so inclined,” Dave quickly interjected.

  “That’s true. I could learn it. But we both know it’s not an area of the law I’m interested in practicing,
Dave. That’s why I didn’t negotiate with Rutherford Insurance to become their counsel,” Lyle replied tersely. “I don’t believe I’ve ever asked you to take over any of my clients, and one of the reasons we became partners was that we enjoyed practicing in different areas of the law. Our diversity was our strength.”

  “It’s true that you haven’t asked me to take over any of your clients, Lyle. On the other hand, you don’t ever handle an account that sends us a monthly paycheck the size of the Rutherford account,” Dave rebutted.

  “Well, I think if you’ll look at the ledgers, you’ll find that my litigation over the past five years has brought in a lot more than the Rutherford account will bring in over a five-year period,” Lyle defended.

  “Would that be net or gross?” Dave bluntly questioned.

  “We recover expenses in seventy-five percent of my cases, and you know it,” Lyle angrily replied, rising from his chair.

  “I don’t think we’re accomplishing a whole lot toward resolving this problem, gentlemen,” Claire interrupted, pained by the outburst she had just witnessed.

  Lyle turned to say something but instead plopped into the chair next to Claire. “She’s right. I apologize, Dave. I’m just looking for an easy way out, which is for you to take over the account and let me keep doing what I love.”

  “Sounds great if you can get it,” Dave said, giving him a laugh. “I’m sorry too, Lyle. What we need is a solution, not more problems.”

  “Well, Claire, you know what we want, and you know what you want. Any ideas on how to solve this one?”

  “You willing to spend a little money?” she asked.

  “How much is a little?” Dave asked.

  Ignoring Lyle’s initial question, she forged ahead with her proposal. “When you first took this account, there was talk that you might hire another attorney or perhaps a law clerk or another paralegal.” Claire watched as they both began to squirm uncomfortably at her suggestion. “I’m not talking about hiring someone full-time,” she quickly added. “But what about hiring an investigator to do the fieldwork investigating the claims? If a difficult claim arose, one of you could assist. Meanwhile I’d be willing to continue the trips to Kansas City to meet with the company, if you wanted, and to travel to inspect policyholders’ facilities when the need arises—as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. That part of the traveling has been minimal in the past. I don’t think Mr. Merickson cares who’s actually working the claims as long as the investigations are conducted well. What do you think?”

  They both stared at her for several minutes and then looked at each other and nodded.

  “I think this might work,” Lyle said, grinning at Dave and then toward Claire.

  “Where are we going to find a good investigator?” Dave asked. “We’re not going to find someone we can rely on—not like Claire.”

  “Dave! I’d love to think I’m indispensable, but let’s be realistic. If I can do this, so can someone else—probably quite a few someone else’s. What we need is an individual with good investigative skills that can be adapted to this type of work. There are retired policemen, retired military police, fire investigators that work twenty-four hours and are off forty-eight hours—any of those people would probably be delighted to have part-time work.”

  “She’s a genius,” Dave said to Lyle while pointing his finger toward Claire. “I’m glad we hired this one!”

  “So am I,” Lyle replied. “So am I.”

  “Thank you for your vote of approval, gentlemen. Just remember how much you appreciate me the next time I ask for a raise,” Claire said with a laugh.

  “There’s still one problem to resolve before you walk out of here,” Dave said while motioning Claire to sit back down.

  “What’s that?”

  “Next week. I promised Merickson you’d be there next week, remember?”

  “I’d almost forgotten,” Claire replied. “I’ll go if I have your word you won’t do this again.”

  “You’ve got it,” Dave answered, his face beaming. “Why don’t you write up an advertisement for the investigator position so that we can get it in the newspaper right away?”

  “If you’re smart, you’ll let her do the hiring,” Lyle said, walking toward the door and holding it open for Claire.

  “It would be a pleasure!” she replied. “I’ll be sure to find someone who loves to travel,” she replied, noticing Dave’s sheepish grin.

  ❧

  Claire leaned down to pick up the day’s mail, which lay fanned out underneath the mail slot in the front hallway of her house. Turning over the envelope, she immediately recognized Jake’s half-written, half-printed scrawl. “That’s strange,” she reflected aloud. “I didn’t think I’d get a letter so soon after his telephone call to the office. I figured he was calling to apologize for not writing,” she continued to herself as she tore open the envelope and walked back into the living room.

  Sitting down on the red and beige floral sofa, she unfolded the single page of lined notebook paper and read. When she had finished the letter, she realized why Jake had telephoned. It was probably better she had been gone when the call arrived. A tear slid down her cheek as she slowly went down on her knees in front of the couch and fervently prayed. Dear Lord, he’s searching for You. Hear his cry, help him through this time, and make him into the man You would have him be. She knew prayer was the only thing that was going to help Jake, and she committed herself to fervently pray for him. And pray she did—genuine, heartfelt prayers beseeching God to lead Jake throughout the painful weeks that lay ahead.

  Several days later as she sat in her hotel room in Kansas City, Claire pulled out a sheet of stationery and began a letter to Jake. She told him about the successful Valentine’s Day party and trip to see The Muppet Movie with Michelle over the past weekend, detailing the whole event; she told him of her recent encounter with the bosses and the fact that she wouldn’t be traveling as much; she told him of the latest trial that Lyle would be handling and her excitement that she would once again be able to assist him; then she told him of her sorrow that his assignment in Germany had led to an Article 15 disciplinary action for his inappropriate behavior. And then she told him of her happiness that he had finally accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior and was facing his responsibility in admitting and resolving his problem with alcohol.

  Her hand almost trembled as she wrote the words “problem with alcohol.” Jake hadn’t used those words. Instead, he had been brutally honest. I’m an alcoholic, he had written. The idea that she had even considered having a relationship with an alcoholic shook her to the core. Why didn’t I realize it? How do you know someone that well and not realize he’s an alcoholic? she thought to herself. He was a responsible citizen, worked every day, fought for his country—how could he be an alcoholic? The questions raced around in her mind—no answers—just questions.

  Claire leaned back in the chair and shook her head. “Guess I’m not a very good judge of character, Lord,” she prayed aloud, “but I never thought he’d really turn his life over to You. And to tell You the truth, I still have this nagging doubt that maybe he’s not sincere. But I’ll keep on praying and trusting, Father, because we both know that Jake’s a good man—not the man for me—but a good man.”

  She signed and carefully folded the letter, and then placed it in the envelope. “I’m praying for you, Jake. I hope you’re doing your part,” she said to the four pale green hotel walls surrounding her.

  FOURTEEN

  Jake surveyed the group of people encircling him. He’d been with this treatment group for the past six weeks. They had progressed from the perfunctory denials and misplacement of blame to accepting and addressing their problems in a straightforward, honest manner. It hadn’t been an easy six weeks, and he still had two more to go before “graduation.”

  “Okay, Jake. Let’s hear what you’ve got to say,” Bill, the group leader, ordered.

  Each week the members were asked to recount their life histo
ry. Jake had been amazed at how much the members’ stories had changed since those first weeks of counseling and therapy had begun. He knew that his story, also, had been tremendously modified as he began accepting responsibility for his actions and dealing with years of unresolved anger. He had used it as justification for his drinking, and it had turned into a vicious circle that had almost ruined him.

  “Today, I’d like to talk about my future,” Jake said, looking at Bill. “Is that okay?”

  “It’s okay with me. How about the rest of you?” Bill inquired, looking around the circle.

  Everyone nodded in agreement, and several gave him an encouraging smile. “When I gave you my history, I talked about a woman I’d met before coming to Germany. Her name is Claire. I’ve decided I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Jake told the group.

  One of the women in the group, a young lieutenant, sat up straighter in her chair. “Isn’t this the same woman who told you to take a hike?” she asked.

  “She told me that she wouldn’t date me because I wasn’t a Christian and because I drank,” Jake defensively replied. “I never asked her to marry me.”

  The group laughed.

  “If she wouldn’t even date you, it’s a pretty good bet she wouldn’t have agreed to marriage,” one of the men piped up. His remark lessened Jake’s tension, and he laughed along with the rest of them.

  “I guess you’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve written to her and explained my situation. She wrote back, and I know she’s been faithfully praying for me and my recovery. I’m getting my life in order. I really believe she cares for me.”

  “Well, I think you’re setting yourself up for failure,” another member of the group chimed in. “Just because she’s praying for you doesn’t mean that she’s willing to marry a drunk.”

  “That’s right,” another agreed. “If she says ‘no,’ you’ll probably end up on a binge. I think it’s a stupid idea.”

  “Thanks for that vote of confidence,” Jake replied dejectedly.

  “You need to give some thought to what they’re telling you, Jake,” Bill counseled. “It’s hard to hear opposition when you’ve obviously made up your mind about this idea. But you need to listen and weigh this out. There is a possibility that if this woman rejects you, it could set you off on a binge. I’d like to think that’s not true, but you’re going to be extremely vulnerable. You won’t have a support system around, and those old feelings of anger and rejection can creep back in pretty quickly. I’d like you to give this some additional deliberation. Next week we’ll hash it around some more. In short, I don’t want you leaving the program until we’ve decided upon a plan,” he cautioned.