Revolution: A Driven World Novel (The Driven World)

by Dr. Rebecca Sharp

  His thumb brushed gently over my nipple. “No’ tonight, lass.” He tenderly squeezed my breast once more, as though he needed something to hold onto, before his hands slid to my hips and he stepped back.

  I sucked in a small breath as he slid out of me, reaching behind him for a paper towel. I pushed myself up, watching as he wiped himself and then the small pool of cum on the kitchen floor.

  Soaking another piece with warm water, he turned to clean me and I bit my lower lip to stop a small moan from escaping.

  Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I couldn’t stop myself from trying again. “I didn’t mean for this—”

  He rose up and cupped a hand behind my neck, cutting me off with the seal of his mouth over mine.

  “No’ tonight, Kacey.”

  I searched his eyes, wishing I knew what demons he was wrestling with.

  Aside from the ones that whispered sleeping with his driver wasn’t a good idea.

  “Okay,” I acquiesced with a small nod, my tongue darting out to lick along the tight line of his lips, determined to lick them loose.

  “Yer goin’ ta be the death of me,” he rasped low, a grunt closing off the assertion as he tore his mouth away from mine and lifted me into his arms, carrying me over to the bed. “A fine thanks to a man who was willin’ an’ on the way ta killin’ a man earlier fer ye.”

  A small smile toyed on my lips as I curled against his chest, my eyes drifting closer to shut. I tried to keep them open, but the wave of exhaustion cresting impossibly high with everything that had happened over the last few hours was starting to crash relentlessly against me.

  I blinked and caught the blue sparks of his eyes. The red in his hair.

  I took a long, settling breath and inhaled the earthy musk of his skin—man and lust bonding into something that stuck in my nostrils and buried in my brain.

  For a brief flash of a moment as darkness wrapped around me, I felt the inkling that whatever this was between us was more than any race. More than Daytona. More than Indy. It was my future, but not in any way that I’d ever imagined it.

  Garret slid us under the covers, keeping me tight to his chest. Whatever he worried about wasn’t enough to keep him from staying. And that relief let sleep overcome me with a single lingering thought following me into my dreams.

  Tonight was a night I’d never forget.

  Garret

  I JOLTED AWAKE WITH A wince, like coming up for air after being underwater too long.

  The soft, warm weight curled against me shifted slightly. A sea of red covered my chest, a small, strong hand resting on top of it. My eyes locked on her face—peaceful and pristine resting on my chest—and I couldn’t look away.

  Am I a coward for not speaking up?

  My gut clenched, her heartbroken confession from last night overwhelming me just as much as the feel of her body so close to mine.

  It was a testament to the judgment of the world—and to its prejudice—that a woman who’d physically retaliated against her assaulter would question whether she was still the victim.

  And for the first time, I saw the Kacey Snyder no one else saw.

  I saw the Kacey Snyder who was as equally afraid she didn’t belong as she was determined to prove that she did.

  In spite of my harshness. My callousness. My attempts to push her away. She opened up to me. She gave me pieces of herself I didn’t deserve, and she gave me a night that changed everything for me.

  She was the air.

  She was the breath I’d come up for after trying to drown myself in my past for years.

  And that oxygen brought back to life parts of me that hadn’t beat for a long time—parts I swore died right along with my brother.

  A soft mewl escaped as she arched against me. I could feel the hard tips of her tits against my side, the heat of her pussy along my leg, and I wanted her again with a force that couldn’t be satisfied. Not after one night.

  Not after one month.

  Not after one lifetime.

  Swallowing my groan, I looked around for a clock, needing to know what kind of time I had to fuck her before I had to be at the hospital. I was usually there by eight since Claire was an early riser.

  I pushed up on my elbows, carefully sliding Kacey’s warm weight onto her pillow. The light coming through the inescapable windows was a harsh hint that it wasn’t as early as I hoped, and I didn’t have as much time as my ravenous desire wanted.

  I never slept late.

  I hardly ever slept.

  And that’s when I heard it—the soft but insistent buzzing in my jeans.

  Shit.

  Taking care not to wake her, I stood, struggling to stop my eyes from sliding back to the way her naked form curled closer to where I’d been, still searching for me in her sleep.

  Reaching down, I fisted my solid cock. My rough exhale flared my nostrils, need rocketing through my body once again.

  God.

  She shifted again, the sheet dipping below one pert pink nipple, and my balls seized.

  “Fuck,” I swore, trying—and failing—to recall the last time I’d fucked anything, including my hand.

  A dangerously long time ago.

  Dangerous because I felt like an addict after one hit—one night with her. Dangerous because I wanted to forget everything else just to see how long she’d let me keep her in the bed with my cock buried in her tight cunt.

  The buzzing began a second time.

  “Christ.” Letting go of my dick, I stalked over to where my jeans lay on the floor, digging roughly through the pockets for the damned device.

  It wasn’t the second call.

  I recoiled in shock for a moment. Twelve missed calls from Janet. Twelve. And three voicemails. And it was almost nine-fuckin’-thirty.

  Fuck.

  Cursing myself with every foul name I could think of, I yanked on my clothes, desperate to get to the hospital. If something happened to Claire… if something was wrong.

  Whatever hint of life one night with Kacey had forced into my lungs evacuated through the gaping hole in my chest that fear and failure had blown open.

  My body shook as I grabbed my things and bolted downstairs, telling myself the drowsy, hurt voice calling my name was only a figment of my imagination.

  “Garret! Where have you been?” Janet hissed, wincing and frantic as she approached.

  “Shit. I know. I know.” I drove a hand through my hair. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

  My almost sister-in-law pressed a hand to her forehead before wiping a tear from her eye, leading the way over to Claire’s room.

  “It was bad this morning, G,” she went on tremulously. “After her treatment, she couldn’t keep anything down. It knocked the life right out of her, and the worst part about it was she knew it. She knew it and she couldn’t stop crying.”

  Her frail shoulder shook with sobs she tried to hold onto.

  “Christ.”

  What have I done?

  One thing. Claire was my one thing—the one thing left of my brother, and the one thing that gave my life purpose.

  If I could beat the shit out of myself like I had those men I would have.

  “She kept asking for you because you weren’t here. It was the first time you haven’t been here when she thought you were going to be, G.” Her words were pained. She wasn’t reprimanding me, but neither was she holding back the truth. “She thought it was her fault, Garret. She thought you gave up on her.”

  A truth that took the wind right out of me.

  I’d failed Claire. I hadn’t been there when she needed me. And in doing so, I’d failed Danny. My brother who deserved to live—who deserved this life and to see his daughter.

  And I’d been too goddamn distracted getting my cock wet to focus on the most—the only important thing.

  “Fuck.” My fingers yanked on my hair, wishing I could pull all thoughts—all memory of Kacey from my mind.

  Last night was a mistake. Unconscionable. Unforgi
vable. Unrepeatable.

  Kacey made me want things I shouldn’t and made me forget things I couldn’t.

  I hadn’t forgotten Claire, I’d just slept for the first time in months.

  I shoved the useless thought away. It didn’t matter. Claire was my top priority—my only priority. And if I wasn’t working to pay for the treatment she needed, to provide for the life she deserved to live, then I needed to be here with her for moments exactly like the one I’d missed this morning—ones when she needed me.

  “I’m so feckin’ sorry, Janet. Christ. I’m such an idiot,” I bit out, my body vibrating with tension.

  It didn’t matter how I felt about Kacey, nor how I wanted her.

  This little girl came first. Always.

  And listening to my cock, and a million other body parts that beat only when Kacey was around, wasn’t fair to Claire and it wasn’t fair to Kacey. One of them had my all—needed my all—and the other deserved more than my nothing.

  “Is she alright?”

  “She’s sleeping,” Janet told me, resting her hand on my arm to stop me from entering the room. “They gave her just a little something to help with the pain and, after how upset she was, she went right to sleep.”

  Fuck.

  “Are they sure she’s okay? She’s been on the new drugs—the stronger mix for a few days now. How could it…”

  “The doctors think that it took her body a few days to react to the new levels. Either that or something else threw off her system.” She folded her arms, rubbing the sides unconsciously.

  “What is it?” My eyes narrowed.

  “I think she wasn’t feeling well for the first time, and it scared her.” She met my eyes. “And when you weren’t here, she worked herself up and that is what really made it worse.”

  Nothing about what she said or how she said it was harsh. It wasn’t critical or judgmental. It was just the truth. And it was so crystal-cut, it severed right through the last beats of my heart that begged to let it live a little for Kacey. For myself.

  “What did she say? What did ye tell her?” I asked through clenched teeth.

  “I didn’t know what to say, G. I didn’t know where you were,” she stammered. “Of course, I told her you probably got so busy working on the race car, but you know how she is. ‘But he’s never done that before.’” Janet mimicked Claire’s small voice.

  My head fell, wondering if the weight on my shoulders had ever been this heavy. “Christ.”

  There was a beat of silence. “Where were you?”

  Shame washed down my back, ice-cold and penetrating. “I fell asleep at the shop. Haven’t been getting much of it, and it just caught up with me.”

  It wasn’t a lie, but I definitely couldn’t tell her the reason I slept was because I’d fucked Kacey—and fucked myself right into a coma.

  She’d calmed the beast inside me. The one who hated the world for the unfairness it brought on my brother and my niece. The one who hated himself for being the one who survived it all.

  I fucked her and I felt at peace, and so I slept. And when I woke overnight, she was still there. She hadn’t left me. And so, half-asleep, I fucked her again. And again.

  Grunting, I shifted my weight, adjusting the uncomfortable tightness of my jeans over my cock.

  And I was still fuckin’ ravenous for her.

  “I’m sorry,” I rasped, planting my hands on either side of the doorframe and staring into Claire’s room, watching her tired little body sleep with perfect stillness.

  “It’s okay, G.” She gently patted me on the back to reassure me. “Claire will be fine. I just… I was just worried when you weren’t here and didn’t answer. It’s not like you.”

  I knew that. It wasn’t like me to think of anything except my niece. To do anything except things for her.

  It wasn’t like me to think of myself—to want something for myself.

  And Kacey Snyder? I swallowed a groan.

  I wanted her touch. Her kiss. Her body.

  I wanted each breath that sank into her lungs and each word that left her lips.

  I wanted the strength in her soul, and the selfless subservience of desire.

  I didn’t just want her for myself.

  I wanted to consume her, and to let her consume me.

  I wanted her.

  And that was exactly why last night could never happen again.

  “I’ll stay until she wakes up,” I replied tightly.

  Janet’s gaze narrowed on me. “What about work and the car?”

  “Nothing else matters,” I swore. “I’ll deal with them tonight. I shouldn’t need sleep for a few days now anyway.”

  Crossing her arms, she took a seat on the chair just outside the door; it was obvious she was still recovering from her fibromyalgia attack yesterday, but I’d never seen her stay away from the hospital for more than one day when the pain was the worst.

  “Don’t overdo it, G,” she pleaded.

  “I’ll be fine,” I told her. “I need to be here when she wakes up.”

  Her small sigh was eaten up by two nurses in low conversation with one another as they rolled a cart full of machinery by us and into the room next to Claire’s.

  “She told me that you brought her favorite race car driver to meet her yesterday.” I heard the smile in her voice.

  “Miss Snyder did come to see her.” But I wasn’t the one who brought her. “She had a good time.”

  Janet regarded me curiously. “I called her last night right before bed, and I don’t know that I’ve ever heard her so happy—so hopeful.”

  I cleared my throat. If only Claire’s body was as prone to health as her soul was prone to hope.

  “Will she come back?”

  I flinched. “I’m not sure.” Especially right now.

  “Well, I know she’d love to see her again. If it’s possible.”

  My angry breath fogged a small patch of the window. I couldn’t look at Janet. Only Claire, laying there, sleeping.

  I wondered if she was dreaming about where I was. If she was worried.

  “I don’t know if it is,” I grunted.

  “Really?” Glancing over, I caught the arch in her eyebrow. “I’m not like Claire, G. I do get outside these white walls every so often, and I’ve seen the papers.” She paused, eyeing me as though waiting for me to admit to it before finally giving up and continuing, “I know she’s the driver. I know she’s driving your car.”

  I pushed away from the window of the door and folded my arms, hesitant to continue this conversation but with nowhere else to go.

  “And?” I returned. “Doesn’t mean she’s my employee. Doesn’t mean I can just direct her here. We both work for Voigt.”

  “Right, but you work with her. Surely, you can ask.” Her brow furrowed.

  I grunted in response.

  “G?” She regarded me with curiosity. “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” I snapped too harshly, biting my tongue and dropping my gaze in regret. “Nothing,” I repeated more calmly, adding, “I should go call Voigt. He’s goin’ ta wonder what happened ta me.”

  As I walked by, she reached for my arm, slowing my steps.

  “It’s okay to have a little bit of a life, Garret,” she said softly. “He would want—”

  “No,” I bit out, my teeth locked together. “No, it’s not okay, Janet. It’s not fuckin’ okay, and this”—I pointed to the floor at my feet—“this right here is the reason.” I wiped a hand over my mouth. “I dinna deserve it. She deserves everything I’ve got—every piece o’ me.”

  “And would she want to know what you’ve sacrificed—what you’re willing to sacrifice to give her that?” There was a force to her voice I hadn’t heard.

  Pulling my arm away with a low growl, I stalked down the hall toward the stairwell to the cafeteria to call Voigt and grab a few cookies—anything to help make up for my absence this morning.

  Even though I was focused on two tasks for two separate people, my m
ind continued to drift back to the soft curves and warm smile of the woman I’d left this morning.

  The woman who wouldn’t get an explanation for my absence.

  The woman who deserved far more than the little I had to give.

  And it would be easier to make her hate me again than to let her cling to one night with the hopes it might become more.

  “Uncle G.”

  It took everything in me not to double over at the weak voice who called my name. Groggily, Claire focused on me with her best attempt at a tired smile as I followed her mother into the room.

  I’d never heard her sound so weak. So wounded.

  “Hey, Bear,” I rasped, immediately presenting my peace offering and my excuse. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here this morning. I was sleepin’ like a log.”

  Her tiny eyebrows crinkled. “A log?”

  “It’s a sayin’,” I tried to explain. “It just means I fell asleep real deep and didn’t wake up when I should’ve.”

  “Oh,” she murmured.

  Pain seared through my chest. “But I’m here now, and you’re awake.”

  “Was I sleeping long?” Her eyes peering behind me to the wall.

  “A few hours,” I replied, though she’d napped well into the afternoon.

  “Oh no!” She gripped her teddy bear tighter to her. “I slept like a log, too!”

  I chuckled with a shake of my head. “That’s alright. You needed it.”

  Her lip trembled. “Uncle G.” Big fat tears welled in her eyes and my heart broke.

  “Hey.” I sat on the bed and reached for her hand, carefully wrapping it in mine. “It’s alright, Little Bear. Ye just needed some extra sleep is all.”

  “No.” This time her head found the strength to shake. “Did I… did I miss her?”

  My head tipped to the side. “Miss who?” I looked to Janet, who shrugged.

  “Did I miss Kacey?” she blurted out, reaching up a hand that was covered with tags and tubes to adjust her cap that had dislodged from her movements. “Did she come back while I was sleeping? S-she said she would. I-I asked her t-to-o. A-and-d n-now I-I w-w-was—” Her lip quivered so badly she couldn’t even finish.

  “No, Bear,” I quickly assured her. “Ye didn’t miss her, I promise. She didna come today.”