The Side Effects of You

by Anna Black

  My eyes welled up again. “Baby, listen,” I said and took his glass. “That isn’t your job, okay? You are going to worry yourself to death with those kinds of questions. God was with her.” I got up to refill his glass.

  “Can you go with me to do the arrangements? I can’t do it by myself, Sam.”

  “Sure, sure, Charles. Whatever you need.” I hated that he wasn’t with the other woman, because now he depended on me to be by his side. I didn’t hate Charles—not anymore—but I didn’t want to be the one who had to pretend to be his wife. I knew he was going to need me, but I had enough going on. My boyfriend had disappeared on me after pretending to be okay with my secret. I didn’t need Charles all off in my space.

  Damn!

  Lord, I know you know best, but why right now, Lord? Why me?

  “I’m going to run up and change, and then we can head out,” I told him.

  “Okay.” He nodded.

  I ran upstairs and put on a pair of jeans and a sweater. Since I’d been on my way to work when I found Charles on my doorstep, I had glammed up, so my makeup and hair were done. When I went back downstairs, he was lying back on the couch with one hand over his head.

  “I’m ready,” I announced.

  He jumped a little and sat up. “Wow, Sammie. You are so beautiful. Your new look really fits you. It looks really nice on you,” he said, as if he hadn’t noticed me before I’d gone up to change.

  “Thanks, Charles,” I said and looked away.

  “I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward.”

  “I’m fine.” I smiled. “We should go.”

  He stood. “Let me use the bathroom really quick.”

  I nodded. I stood near the front door, and a few moments later, we were headed to the funeral home. Charles wanted the best of everything, and I kept reeling him back in. His mother wouldn’t have wanted him to spend so much on her funeral. She wasn’t flashy; she was classy.

  “Thank you, Sam,” he said when we got back into the car.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I mean, no way I could have done any of this without you.”

  “It’s no big deal, Charles. This is a difficult moment and a hard thing to go through alone.”

  “Yes, it is,” he said.

  I wondered where we were going next, because he wasn’t heading back to my house. “Where are we heading to now?”

  “The house. You heard them. We have to bring Mom’s clothes and shoes to them tomorrow. You know I can’t do that alone.” He sighed.

  I agreed. “Okay. I’ll go with you.” I rubbed the back of his hand, and he looked over at me and smiled. “What?”

  “You were a great woman, Sam. I don’t want to talk about us, because I don’t want to piss you off, but I never broke any vows. I worked long and hard, yes, but I swear to you, on my Mom, that I never stepped out on you.”

  My heart stopped, and my eyes welled up. I believed him. Charles loved his mom more than me, and he’d never say such strong words if he didn’t mean them.

  “Charles . . .” I looked at him.

  “I didn’t, Sam. I didn’t give you herpes. I don’t understand for the life of me how I never contracted it, but I didn’t. I tried so hard to prove to you that I didn’t cheat, but you just . . . you just . . .”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Sam, I loved you. Our marriage wasn’t perfect or fairy tale–like, but I was happy.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said again.

  He squeezed my hand, and we rode the rest of the way in silence. When we got to his mom’s house, we sat in the driveway for a while.

  “If you’re not ready, I’ll go in alone. I know where everything is,” I told him.

  He took a few cleansing breaths and turned off the engine. “I’m okay.”

  He got out, and I grabbed his hand. We walked up to the door, and his hand shook so badly, he couldn’t get the key in the keyhole. I did it for him and unlocked the door.

  “Charles, baby. Really, we don’t have to do this tonight. I’ll come back with you tomorrow,” I said as he stood frozen on the threshold, trying to will himself to enter his mother’s home.

  “Okay, okay.” He sobbed.

  I locked the door, and we went back to the car.

  “I’ll drive,” I offered. He didn’t resist.

  A few minutes later we were back on the road. Silence enveloped the car, as we were both lost in thought.

  “Can you stay with me tonight?” he asked out of the blue. I was fifteen minutes from home and hadn’t expected to hear him ask me that.

  Thinking it was not a good idea for him to be alone, I said. “Sure. What way do I go?”

  As we went, he gave me a few instructions, telling me where to turn. When we finally pulled up to his home, my jaw dropped. I suddenly thought I needed to ask for more alimony.

  “This is your house?” I asked.

  “Yes,” he said and opened the car door. I got out and followed him to the front door. It was a keyless entrance. He keyed in a code, and when we walked in, lights started to come on by themselves.

  I looked around. His place was amazing.

  “So,” I said, “I think you’re not paying me enough alimony, dear.”

  “What? If I kept the money from the alimony checks, I could work three days a week instead of six.” He laughed. “Are you hungry?”

  “A little.”

  “You wanna order something? You know I’m not a cook. I have every take-out place on speed dial.”

  “What do you have? I can cook.”

  “No. You need to relax. We’ve had quite a day. There is a great Italian place that delivers. Here is one of their menus.” He pulled an actual menu from one of the kitchen drawers, not a paper menu.

  “Did you steal this menu?” I asked.

  “No. I frequent the place, since, as you know, that last so-called relationship was a bust, so I asked for a real menu from all my favorite places.”

  I looked over the menu and decided on the chicken marsala. Charles called in our order and then offered me a pair of new boxers and a tank to get comfortable in while we waited. I decided to take a shower first and went into the master bathroom. When I was naked and ready to get in the shower, I realized I had no idea how to turn it on. There were buttons everywhere. I looked around and grabbed a towel and called for Charles to come help me.

  He got the shower going, and when he left the bathroom, he didn’t shut the door. He talked to me from his adjoining bedroom, so I guessed that was a sign for me not to shut the door myself. While I was enjoying the hot water running over my skin, he came back into the bathroom and opened a drawer, looking for something.

  “Charles,” I yelled.

  “Yeah?” he said, looking at me.

  “I’m in the shower.”

  “And I’ve seen, touched, and tasted all of you, so relax.” He smiled.

  When I was done showering, I had to call for him and ask him to turn off the water. He reached past me to push some buttons while I tried to cover my breasts with my hands. He smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

  Once he had turned off the water, he pointed out the lotion on the counter, and since he didn’t have any women’s deodorant, he told me I could use his. I had shaved in the shower and it set my underarms on fire. I was freshly showered, my skin was silky from the Bistro Body Butter he gave me to use, and I had on a fresh new pair of cotton boxers and a fresh tank. He gave me a pair of socks for my feet, and I felt at home.

  “Let me give you a quick tour, and then I’ll shower,” he announced when I was dressed.

  He showed me around, and with the click of a couple of buttons, the fireplace came on and the sexy sounds of Joe began playing softly over the sound system.

  “If the food comes before I’m out of the shower, the code for the alarm is zero-four-eleven-seventy-five. You have to disarm the alarm before opening the door,” he told me.

  “My birthday?”

&nbs
p; “Yes.” He smiled, and then he left me there.

  I looked around. Everything had buttons. I went into the open kitchen, and my eyes lit up when I saw the wine cooler. I had plans to remodel my kitchen one day, and this was one of my must-haves. I grabbed a bottle of white, and the label spoke for itself. Top notch. My mouth watered. I looked around, and not far from the cooler was an electric wine bottle opener. I grabbed it and opened the bottle. It took me a few seconds to find the glasses. I poured a glass and went over to look at some of the photos Charles had on display.

  He had some of relatives, a lot of pictures of his parents, and more than a couple of me. I picked up one of me and him and smiled. I remembered the day we had taken it.

  The doorbell chimed suddenly, and I jumped. I put the picture back, set my glass down, and went to answer to the door. I remembered to key in the code on the alarm panel before I opened the door. I got the food and asked how much it was. The deliveryman said the bill had already been taken care of.

  I took the packages into the kitchen and got a couple of plates from the cabinet. Charles came in a moment later and parked at the island while I fixed our plates.

  “Wine?” I asked him.

  “Yes, please.”

  “Can you grab my glass from over there?” I gave a head nod. The glass was right by our photo.

  “You remember when we took this?”

  “I do.” I smiled. “It was the day after you graduated, with your master’s.”

  “Yep. We went to that Japanese spot with my parents and had to sit on the floor. Dad complained the entire time ’bout his back, his knees.”

  “Yes, and I remember Mom saying, ‘Larry, if you can’t walk out, we’ll roll you out.’” I laughed.

  He was silent, and I realized I had brought up his mom.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  He came over with my glass and he then sat down at the island. “It’s okay. I have to remember her. Hell, him too. I know this is going in the right order. Kids bury their parents, but it’s not easy.”

  I placed his plate in front of him. “I know, Charles. It will get easier in time. Just like with Dad.”

  “I know.”

  I sat with him, and we chatted during dinner. Afterward, we cleared the dishes and cleaned everything together.

  While we cleaned, I said, “Why are there so many gadgets? I’ve never been in a house that needs an instruction manual to live in.” I laughed.

  “Well, I got this house just four months ago or so. It’s a smart home, and trust, I’m still learning things every day.” He refilled our wineglasses. “I haven’t even enjoyed the pool. It’s heated, but it’s still too chilly, in my opinion, to get in.”

  “You have a pool?” I said, thinking Charles and I were definitely going to have to remain friends, if anything. I wanted to enjoy that pool. Having access to a private pool would definitely beat me hanging out with Josie at the hotel pool.

  “Yes, and a hot tub.”

  “Why did you wait until after we divorced to come up?” I teased.

  He laughed. “I just made some good decisions, Sam, and things just started happening big for me. All along, I wished you were with me to enjoy it.”

  I looked down. He lifted my head.

  “Listen, things between us . . . I don’t know. It’s like I lost my best friend, and I thank you for being here with me right now, because if you weren’t, I’d be in horrible shape,” he said.

  “I’ll be here for you during this time, Charles.”

  “What about after?”

  “Charles,” I said, but he stopped me with a kiss.

  I let down my guard. Charles was so gentle. He was the man I had originally fallen in love with and had planned to spend the rest of my life with.

  I pulled away, grabbed my wine, and took a big gulp. He took my hand, and I followed him into his bedroom. What was wrong with him? He knew I had herpes.

  “Charles, I can’t. I can’t risk this.”

  “I was married to you for six years and was with you for two years before that. Not once have you given it to me. I have condoms, Sam. I will wear one. I’m not worried. I want be with you.”

  He kissed me again and lifted my tank. Then his mouth was over my nipples. He knew me, he knew my body, and he knew what to do to make me feel good. He wasn’t afraid of me. Ethan had run at the news, but Charles knew and still wanted me.

  I gave in and let him have me. I gave him head, and I wasn’t mad at all about him not doing me. I was clear, and there was no outbreak going on, but I didn’t want to chance it. I squealed when he pushed inside of me. He was the last man to be inside of me, and he felt as good now as he’d felt back then. I remembered his dick. I remembered his rhythm. I remember his techniques.

  I came so many times that night that I lost count. I was so happy to have had pleasure again in my life. For a very long time, I had thought I’d never experience it again, and now I was resting on his chest, cradled in his strong arms.

  I slept like a baby that night, and the next morning, I woke up thinking I had dreamt it all. But when I saw Charles sleeping, I knew it was real.

  I had hated him for a moment, but now I was falling in love again.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Josephina

  I was introducing my girls to Jayden today, and I was terrified Ana was going to act up. She had been rolling her eyes at me all day and asking why it was so important for her to meet my new guy.

  “Because he is special to me,” I answered for the tenth time as we stood in my bedroom. “And if he is going to be in my life, you girls need to meet him.”

  “I don’t want to meet him.”

  “Well, that’s not an option. I told him I’d bring both of my daughters, and like it or not, you’re one of my daughters, Ana.” I was growing really tired of this one, for real.

  “Fine,” she huffed.

  “And you are going to be respectful and act like a lady,” I scolded. She was too old to be pouting like a baby. She wanted to be grown when it was convenient, but then she’d behave like a small child.

  “Whatever.”

  “Ana, please. I’m trying to get dressed,” I said, raising my voice. “Go and do something and stop stressing me out. Please!”

  “Fine. I’ll go e-mail my papa and tell him what you’ve been up to,” she whined like a baby, then stomped out.

  “You do that. As if you haven’t already,” I yelled behind her.

  I had been receiving e-mails from José in which he asked about Jay, but I had replied, “None of your business,” to all of them. He had called my phone several times, but I never answered. He’d made big man threats, as if he could do something to me or Jay from prison. I wasn’t worried. Ana was his baby girl, and Angelica was mine. Angelica talked to him, but she didn’t tell him anything, because she recognized my struggle, my pain, and my mission.

  My mission was to love someone who wanted to live an honest life, and even though Ana chased after thugs and men like her father, Angelica had a head on her shoulders. And since the day before had been Angelica’s sixteenth birthday, Jay and I had decided to have dinner with the girls at her favorite place, Dave & Buster’s. It was located downtown, somewhere we barely ventured, and she hadn’t been in a long time. She’d asked so many times to go back, and I’d always said we’d go soon, but we had never gone. She had gotten to a point where she stopped asking. As soon as Jayden asked where I thought the girls would like to go, I’d said, “D&B.” He was excited and promised he’d teach me how to play pool.

  “Are you girls ready?” I yelled.

  Angelica rushed into the living room, all ready, but we had to give Queen Ana five minutes to come out of her bedroom.

  “Are you ready?” I asked, annoyed, when she appeared. I knew she heard the aggravation in my voice.

  “Yes, I’m ready.” She clicked her tongue, and I wanted to slap her face.

  We headed out, and when we got to Jayden’s place, Ana said, �
��I’ll stay in the car.”

  “You won’t,” I snarled. She was on my last nerve.

  We all got out of the car and walked to the entrance. I smiled at Mel, the doorman.

  “Good evening, Ms. Josie. Does Mr. Pierce know you’re coming?”

  I continued to smile. “He does.”

  “Let me just get a quick okay, and you and the lovely young ladies can go on up.” He buzzed Jayden, and a few moments later, the girls and I were on the elevator.

  “Wow, Mama. This building is fancy.” Angelica said.

  “Whatever. It’s because you’re a kid and ain’t used to nothing nice,” Ana muttered.

  “And what are you used to, Ana? Where have you been that’s so nice that you can boast about?” I wanted to choke the life out of her. “And, yes, Angelica, it’s a nice building, and Jayden’s place is really nice. It has a great view of downtown.”

  I smiled at Angelica, and she smiled back. When the elevator stopped, she grabbed my hand. She was my sweet baby.

  When we got to Jayden’s unit, he opened the door before we rang the bell. “Ladies, come on in,” he said, smiling.

  We walked in, and Angelica was impressed. She wanted to rush out on the terrace. Ana, however, frowned. Not unusual.

  “Jayden, these are my girls,” I said, introducing them.

  “Nice to meet you two.” He extended his hand. Angelica politely shook it, but Ana looked as if he had shit on his hand. I wished I had left her evil ass at home.

  Angelica jumped in. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Jayden. Can I see what’s out there?” She pointed to the sliding glass doors. The vertical blinds were not completely shut, so she could see the city lights.

  “Sure. Come on. It’s a bit chilly, but we’ll be okay.” He smiled at her.

  Angelica turned to me. “Mom, can I?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  As soon as Jayden and Angelica were out of earshot, I addressed Ana. “Listen, I know you hate me. I know you are José’s number one fan, but please, Ana, just one drama-free night, okay?” I begged. “Can you at least act as if you like me, just once? Angelica’s birthday was yesterday, and we didn’t celebrate, because of work. At least for her, just be nice.”