The McKinnon The Beginning (The McKinnon Legends)

by Ranay James

  She stopped and turned to Cullen who was somewhere between shock and fury at the tale he had just heard. He knew Nic had no idea or Brentwood would already be dead.

  Morgan crossed her arms. “I cannot go back, Cullen,” she said flatly. “I’m not sure Nic really understood. There are too many monsters and too many nightmares there for me. Even if Lester is gone, his shadow will forever be there." Morgan paused. What did she feel? What would she do now?

  "Nic is welcome to it. I do not care what he does with the estate. I will go to Hearthill Manor. It is more neutral territory for me."

  "There is no need to rush, Morgan. Let Nic return and then make your decisions together." Cullen hoped there was way for his brother to settle this with his bride.

  Morgan shook her head at really nothing in particular yet feeling defeated, deflated, and sick at heart.

  "I know Nic did what he had to do by the King’s order, and I will not keep him from his desires. Lord knows life is short. I truly wish him happiness wherever he can find it.”

  “Morgan, I’m sorry you have had to endure such treatment, and at the hands of family no less. I see why Nic admires your strength. You have courage.”

  “Cullen, I do not have courage. I just wanted to live. If I had courage, I would have faced the truth about many things. I understand why Nic married me. I understand why he asked for the annulment. What I do not understand is why he would tell me he loves me. It served no purpose for him to say it. I guess I will never know.”

  “Morgan, Nic said it because he means it. And if you don't believe me then continue digging for the truth,” Cullen said as he wrapped sympathetic arms around his brother’s wife. “You would not rest until you do. You are the kind of woman who will have the truth regardless of the joy or pain.”

  Morgan laid her head on his chest, accepting the comfort for what it was. He was like Nic, yet very different. They are both good men, she confessed. That was a truth. But even good men do bad things.

  “Yes, I do believe you are right. The truth shall set me free.”

  Chapter 57

  Nic was miserable. He and a young soldier named Gregory huddled up to the meager fire. The longer they were out the more miserable he became. He was wet, tired, and missed his Duchess. His soul was weary and for the first time in his life, he felt that maybe, he had not done the right thing after all.

  Had he waited, she might have married him willingly. She had been willing to let him go because Henry decreed him to marry. So maybe, just maybe, she would have married him because the King had said it was to be so. Maybe he should have given her the choice. He had removed the option, and now Nic was running circles in his mind.

  “Damn! I am getting nowhere with this. I cannot go back and change the past and I am not so sure I would, even if it were an alternative,” Nic said angrily to his companion as he threw a stick he had been carving into the fire. There was not much left of it anyway.

  “Nic, you cannot keep beating yourself up over this. I would wager you were forgiven," Gregory weighed in for the first time.

  "What makes you say that?"

  "Well, otherwise why would she have come to see you off like she did?” Gregory replied.

  “That was not my wife who was there when we left. I left Morgan sleeping in the chambers up in the royal guest suites.”

  “I’m aware it was Lady Elizabeth who kissed you. I have been trying to get her attention again for months. I was talking about Lady Morgan. She was there under the arch as you were leaving.”

  Nic felt his color drain. Undoubtedly, she saw the little show Lady Elizabeth had put on for the benefit of the troops. For once, Nic was actually innocent of any real wrongdoing, but she would have seen the kiss. The court gossips no doubt would pass on to her he and Elizabeth had been lovers. Morgan would feel betrayed.

  Tiny, blonde, and curvy.

  “Oh, my God.” Nic breathed under his breath. She would have interpreted the kiss as a kiss from his tiny, blonde, and beautiful love. Maybe even the reason he had asked for the annulment to a marriage she would think he did not want. He had to get a message to her and fast. It had already been several weeks since they left London.

  “Gregory, I need get a message to her. I’m sure she would have witnessed the little scene." Morgan had three weeks to ponder the day he left her.

  “Nic, I’m sorry she had to see that. I could see where things might be misinterpreted, especially if one did not know Elizabeth. She is a notorious flirt, and Lady Morgan has not been at court that long. If Lady Morgan knew Elizabeth, as most do, she would look at it for the game it is. Liz really needs to have a man to take her in hand.”

  Nic could tell Gregory really wanted to be that man.

  Poor dumb bastard, Nic thought. He was young and maybe he was certainly a little foolish. Yet, Gregory had a level head on his shoulders and might be just what Liz needed.

  “Gregory, she is a beautiful young woman, but will be more than a handful until she matures. You both come from good blood, and I have the King’s ear. Do you want me to put in a good word for you? Should you receive permission to marry her, it might solve both our problems. I've been impressed with you so far in this campaign. Do I write to the King on your behalf?” Nic offered in earnest.

  “Yes. I would like to have the aid of the King’s most favored. I know she is spoiled, but I love her, Sir. I would be ever so grateful for any word you can place on my behalf.” Gregory felt hope that fate was smiling on him.

  “Consider it done. I'll get the messages ready to my wife, Cullen, and the King. Can you please track down a messenger for me?”

  Gregory left the fire to do Nic’s bidding, and Nic pondered what to say to each. The King was easy. Young Gregory had proven himself in battle. His strength and valor were proven and his honor unquestioned. It would just be up to the King to approve the young man’s suit. Lady Elizabeth was a ward of Henry’s so no other person’s permission needed securing. Gregory came from a good family, and Elizabeth had inherited a small fortune, leaving their future secure. King Henry was a romantic at heart and could never resist a love match if possible. Henry believed more children came as a result and resulted in more loyal servants to the crown. Henry loving his Queen did not hurt matters, either.

  In the letter to Cullen, he had directed him to begin Morgan’s lessons with the sword. He could think of no better teacher if he could not do the job himself. Cullen would be hard enough on her so Morgan would learn, and at the same time, gentle enough to suffer no harm. He would also tell Cullen to take Morgan riding often to keep her from getting bored. Nic could well see his wife getting into mischief if she were idle. Her long days of forced confinement were over and he was sure sitting in a chamber reading or doing embroidery was not going to work with her any longer. Maybe a letter to her majesty, Queen Elizabeth, would be in order, asking her to take Morgan in hand and help her learn the ways of the royal court.

  That task done, the letter to Morgan was not as simple. The truth was always best. A lesson he was certainly learning the hard way.

  Nic sealed the letter and hoped it would be enough until he could get home and see which way the wind blew with her. The messenger was ready when Nic finished his correspondences.

  “Please see these get to the hands of the King and my brother, Cullen McKinnon. He will see to it the Lady gets her letter from me.”

  “Very well, Sir. I shall see to their delivery.”

  The messenger was off. Now, all Nic could continue to do was wait.

  Chapter 58

  “Lady Elizabeth, this is a surprise. To what do we owe this honor?” The knock had come on the door, and Cullen had answered it after getting up from the table where he and Morgan were playing chess. She was winning, too.

  Looking like a silk dream, Elizabeth batted blue eyes at Cullen. “Well, I was on my way here to see if Lady Morgan would like to take a walk. It is such a wonderful day."

  Cullen seriously doubted that a walk was the s
um of her true motivation, but he give her the benefit of the doubt before tossing her out.

  "On my way over, I passed a messenger looking for you. I offered to bring you the letter since I was coming this direction anyway. The messenger will be back should you need him to take any correspondence to Nic. I believe he said that he will return within the hour. This is for you.”

  Elizabeth handed Cullen the letter, smiling prettily after pulling it out of neckline of her gown .

  Cullen felt its warmth and her perfume rising from the parchment. She could be dangerous, Cullen thought, and he was a damn good judge of character.

  Elizabeth moved into view, and Morgan could not believe her eyes. She was looking her competition full in her young and beautiful face. Who could blame Nic? No one could, least of all Morgan.

  “Well, Lady Elizabeth, I’m sure Lady Morgan would love to go for a walk, but please call on her another time. She may want to write to her husband and may not have the opportunity again. There will be other lovely days. Would not you agree?” Cullen offered carefully. This was one situation he did not want to get involved with too deeply.

  “As you wish, Cullen. Lady Morgan, I shall call on you soon. Good day to you both.” Lady Elizabeth swished off as Cullen closed the door.

  Once back in her quarters, Elizabeth pulled the letter from Nic to Morgan out of her bodice and dropped in into a box in her wardrobe and went about her business.

  There it rested unopened and in the dark.

  Chapter 59

  “Cullen, is everything all right? Is he well? Is something wrong?” Morgan’s apprehension was high. What if something were wrong? What was he doing? Did he ask after her? Did he have words for her?

  She fired off the questions.

  “Duchess, he is fine. He is still in England and waiting for the boats to take them to Ireland. There have been several minor skirmishes, although nothing serious, thank goodness. He has commanded me to begin teaching you how to handle a sword. He wants me to take you riding and take you often”. Cullen looked up with a grin. That grin quickly faded at the pain he saw on Morgan’s face.

  “Morgan, I’m sorry the rest of it is just military generalities. Maybe Nic did not have time to write you specifically. Please, do not be distressed. Let us hurry and write him a reply. The messenger will be here shortly. Come.” Cullen led her to the table.

  Her reply was short.

  Cullen watched the play of emotions crossing Morgan’s lovely face. He did not read her letter, but he could tell it was painful for her.

  Why had he not seen her first? Cullen lamented the fact more with each passing day. Why had Nic been the one? He could love this woman, and it was killing him to see her hurt so deeply. His brother was ten kinds of a fool to hurt her when she obviously loved Nic.

  Cullen got up and walked around the table then pulled Morgan into his arms. He held her as much for his comfort as hers, feeling her sweep the tears away from her face.

  Oh, Morgan, if I could take this pain from you I would, he thought, never daring to speak the words aloud. She pulled out of arms just as the messenger arrived.

  “Take these to my brother.” Cullen handed the messenger the two correspondences. From behind him, Cullen heard her bedroom door close. He heard the lock softly thrown into place, and he knew the tears would follow.

  Chapter 60

  Nic waited nearly two weeks for the messenger to return with the responses to his letters. Gregory eagerly popped his head into Nic’s tent and grinned.

  “She will be mine! The King has approved. I cannot believe it, Nic. I am to marry Lady Elizabeth. For this, I am in your debt.”

  “I offer you my sincerest best wishes, Gregory. You two will make an excellent match,” Nic said.

  “I have been given permission to leave and return to London to marry her immediately. I will be leaving soon. Is there anything you want me to take back to your wife or brother?”

  “Yes. Can you give me a moment to read the letters the messenger delivered?”

  “I'll be back within a half hour if that gives you enough time?”

  Nic nodded.

  “I shall see you then.” Gregory dropped the tent flap, and Nic began to read.

  “Damn it to hell!” Nic tossed Cullen’s letter aside, furious at the treatment Morgan was receiving from the ladies at court.

  He also had no doubt many of the dandies would be sniffing around his woman in an effort to comfort her. He could tell by Cullen’s words Morgan was in distress over the way they had parted. However, Nic saw that the situation was very different from when they had argued at Featherstone.

  With equal parts dread and anticipation, Nic picked up Morgan’s parcel. It was heavy and contained more than just a letter. He hoped Morgan’s letter would at least give him hope they could work things out once he returned. Nic slid his knife into the seam popping the seal. His cross, the one he's given her, slipped out. She could not have hurt him more if she had taken his knife and plunged it into his heart.

  “Oh, God, this is not good,” he said then closed his eyes at what he felt coming next.

  Nic,

  You are a man of honor. I wish you to honor your promise to me. I ask for my freedom. I give you yours. I ask you to move on, and in doing so, may we both find contentment when and where we can.

  Morgan

  Nic did not believe what he was reading. She was making him honor his word. He had asked her to believe him a man of honor, and now she was expecting him to let her go based on that honor? Could he even do it after all they had shared? He was not sure he could. She had become the breath he needed to live. He could not believe their union had come to this.

  "Damn it!," he cursed again. He had bared his soul to her in his letter, hoping it was enough to give him time to make it right.

  Nic quickly penned a response to Cullen because time was running short.

  Cullen,

  I do not have much time as Gregory is ready to leave to return to London to marry Lady Elizabeth. I only have time for one letter.

  Morgan has asked me to honor the promise I made to give her freedom. I know it was hasty to make such a vow, but at the time, I would have sold my soul to the devil if it meant sparing Morgan’s life. Maybe, I did sell my soul, and just do not remember because I am surely in Hell as we speak.

  Go wherever my Lady desires. Tell her that I will honor her request even though it is killing me to do so. I have vowed, and therefore, have no choice. I will keep the cross close to my heart until I can personally return it to her. Only death shall separate it from me.

  Whatever it takes, Brother, keep her safe!

  I will write as I can.

  Nic

  “Gregory, please see to it Cullen gets this letter. I wish you all the happiness,” Nic said gravely to the young knight. “Go on, now. Godspeed.”

  “I promise I will repay you for this, Nic.” Gregory turned and left Nic alone in his tent. Nic and his men were leaving in less than two hours for Ireland. If fate were kind, he would return.

  If fate was not?

  Then Morgan would have her wish.

  Chapter 61

  How had they lost five months? Cullen wondered as he and Morgan practiced.

  Cullen was finding Morgan to be a natural with the sword. Her reflexes were exceptional, her stamina admirable and knack to anticipate her opponent’s next move uncanny. Nic would be proud if he could see her. Her skill had progressed at astounding speed due solely to her natural ability and dogged determination.

  He had written to Nic several times over the last few months but had not received any reply. Cullen was growing more impatient and concerned with each passing day. And with each day that slipped off the calendar, he became just a little more in love with Morgan. He knew he could never act on his growing feelings, but he also knew there was no stopping the love he felt.

  Nic was a lucky man and did not fully realize it.

  Cullen had the pleasure of her company for five m
onths. However, he prayed each day for Nic’s safe return. Despite everything, Morgan was still in love with his brother.

  It was on purpose that Cullen did not attempt to draw her out. It seemed to him they had developed an unspoken agreement not to discuss Nic, or the day he left for Ireland five months ago.

  In the months that seemed to roll off the calendar, life for them had changed. Morgan had changed. Cullen had watched her closely over the last few weeks. She laughed on cue, had polite conversation as required, and played the part of the Duchess with style and finesse. To someone who did not know her, she did all the right things and said all the right things. However, Cullen knew Morgan was sleepwalking through life not living it. The only time she came alive was when he was teaching her the art of war.