Logan helps Ax inside, as Haydn darts into the walkway, jabbing the button to close the doors. Exhausted beyond belief, I stagger up the walkway toward the steps.
The instant the outer door clamps firmly shut, the ship elevates off the ground, shooting upward at high velocity. I seize the railings for support.
As soon as we enter the cabin area, Logan strides into the cockpit as the rest of us drop into seats. Izzy, Neve, and Fern surround us like a swarm of locusts.
Ax’s breathing is almost back to normal as he lifts his eyes to meet mine. “You just saved my life.”
“You saved me first.”
Gently, Ax takes my hands in his. “Thank you.”
I grace him with a small smile as the ship accelerates and we soar into outer space. “Why does Dante want you?” I direct the question at Ax though I’m presuming he can no more answer it than I can. I can’t help feeling that this is all somehow connected with me.
“I’d like to know the answer to that question, too,” Logan says, reentering the cabin. His gaze hones in on my hands, embraced firmly in Ax’s loving grip. I can almost see the wheels churning in his head. Removing my hand, I avoid looking at either boy. Logan turns his head in Neve’s direction. “We have to go back for Evana.”
“I understand,” she says, crossing her knees. “But we can’t go back now. We need a plan. And I hate to say it, but I think we have more pressing problems to tackle first.”
“What’s happened now?” I ask warily.
“Watch,” she says, hoisting her hand in the air and summoning the overhead holoscreen. Logan slips into the vacant seat beside me. He makes no move to face me or touch me like he normally would.
The screen loads with an image of the president. “This went live earlier today,” Neve explains as the recording starts to play.
The president is in his office, flanked by several men and women whom I recognize from the cabinet meeting we attended a while back. They all look extremely ill at ease. Dante stands on the other side of the president with his chest puffed out like a pompous ass. He’s surrounded by a bunch of the Saven Royal Guard.
The president leans into the camera and starts to speak. “My fellow … Earthens”—he splutters, and Dante places a hand on his shoulder, while shooting daggers at something or someone behind the camera—“I appear before you today with an amazing opportunity to expand your horizons. King Dante has graciously offered a home on Saven to ten thousand humans, and we are inviting applications from anyone who wishes to volunteer. A temporary processing center has been established in Sector Nineteen. If you are interested, call the number on the screen, and transportation will be arranged. If you are one of the lucky few chosen for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you will leave for Saven straightaway. King Dante has assured me that everyone will be very well looked after once they arrive.” His eyes flicker inhumanely fast as he looks around uncertainly.
Logan, Neve, and Haydn share knowing looks. I look at Ax and he shrugs, clueless, like me.
Dante’s voice fills the airwaves as a succession of vibrant images of the Saven Central City are displayed on the screen. “This is what awaits you on our planet,” he says in a deliberately seductive tone. Dazzling shots of the pulsing, electric city scroll across the screen. Saven men and women, dressed to the nines, laugh and joke as they meander through the pristine city. Elegant high-rises shoot for the stars. Sleek, curved walkways crisscross over the inner city as a multitude of tiny craft flit through the skies like abnormally large flies. Intoxicating music filters out of storefronts and bars, and colorful bursts of bright lights illuminate the night sky. It looks like a more sophisticated Las Vegas in space.
The images pan out showcasing a countryside I’ve yet to see. Stunning snow-capped mountains contrast with lush green-forested hills. Lakes and hidden valleys mesmerize with their natural beauty. Small towns and villages, nestled within stunning scenery, highlight the quality of life supposedly on offer.
The president resumes speaking as his face reappears on the screen. “Everyone who travels will be assigned their own accommodation, and relevant employment will be organized. You will want for nothing on Saven. And if you decide that it’s no longer for you, return transportation will be scheduled immediately.” He inclines his head slightly to look at Dante. Dante gives him a subtle nod. “This is a wonderful opportunity, and you should all sign up. Thank you.” He stands up and walks stiffly off camera. The recording fades out.
“What the hell was that?”
“I’ll let you explain it,” Neve says to Logan.
He angles his body into mine. Although his face is battered, nearly beyond recognition, I’m still irrevocably drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. The craving to touch him is virtually unbearable. I sit on my hands to bury the temptation. “Do you remember what I told you back in the cells about Rylan, and what Dante had done?” I bob my head. “What’s happened to the president is the same thing. We call it astral possession. Our special abilities emanate from the mind, and it’s how we are able to telepathically communicate through mindspeak and across vast distances using astral projection, and how we can implant and influence thoughts in others. Astral possession is a further extension of our ability. Saven are forbidden from using it on one another, and because we have been largely inward-looking these last few years, it’s a skill most Saven no longer practice or even know how to practice. When we first arrived on Earth, my father banned the use of astral possession. The effects on the human body are unknown, and he didn’t want anything to risk the conscience transfer agenda.”
“What exactly is astral possession?” I incline in my chair.
“We can project into the host body and seize their mind, thereby overpowering their cognitive functionality and controlling their actions.”
“Oh my God, that’s what Dante did to Rylan and the president?”
Logan shakes his head. “Dante wasn’t the one in possession of the president. That was someone off camera. You’ve witnessed me using astral projection before, so you know that we kinda zone out when tapping into that ability. Astral possession works similarly, so whoever took control of the president would’ve been the same.”
“What’s up with the eye flickering thing?”
He rubs his rigid jaw. “I’m not sure. I’ve never actually invoked the skill or seen astral possession in the flesh before. What did you notice with Rylan?”
“It was Dante’s eyes looking out at me, but every so often, Rylan’s brown eyes would flash on and off. That’s how I knew something was wrong.”
“I noticed something similar toward the end of the broadcast,” Ax confirms.
Another recollection swims before me. “That’s what you started to do in the VP’s house, with Bo, wasn’t it?”
Logan grimaces. “Yeah. I don’t like the thought of using it. At all.” He shakes his head. “It’s the worst affront to privacy, but he was going to kill me.”
Reaching out, I take his hand. His fingers automatically thread through mine. Haydn’s nostrils flare, but I do my best to ignore him. “You didn’t have a choice. And in life-threatening situations, you should always use whatever ability you have to save yourself.”
“I know, but it’s most definitely a last resort type of thing. I don’t want to willingly do that to another being.”
My heart melts a little more with his admission.
Ax’s warm breath leaks over my skin as he moves in closer. It’s a silent warning. And a reminder that I still need to have stomach-churning conversations with both boys. I remove my hand from Logan’s. No sense in riling Ax up. The last thing I want is another ill-timed outburst outing the fact that we’re married. “Dante’s an idiot if he thinks that will work.” I claw my hands anxiously through my stringy hair. “Clearly, this is a trap. To lure humans to Saven so they can take their conscience. And everyone will realize he’s got some hold over the president. No one would fall for that obvious sham.”
“You’d t
hink, right?” Fern says, sending a compassionate look my way.
“Look,” Neve says, bringing up a live feed from Earth. Thousands of people are shown boarding transporters and being escorted into a massive warehouse in Sector Nineteen. The image changes to Fort Hamilton Military Base. Lines of people—men, women, and children— with awed amazement etched across their faces stream into a myriad of spaceships.
“Oh, no.” I clamp a hand over my horror-struck mouth. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. “What is wrong with these people? How can they volunteer to go there knowing what they do about the conscience transfer? When Dante is clearly holding Earth to ransom? How can they be so stupid?” I get up and start pacing the narrow floor.
“I know, Sadie,” Fern says, pacing with me. “I reacted the exact same way. But think about it? How many of them actually trust G? Until he made that announcement, no one had heard of him or his organization. Conspiracy theorists are throwing out all sorts of arguments against his statement. And let’s be honest, the notion of stealing our conscience is quite abstract. It’s little wonder that most people are skeptical. It’s no coincidence that most of the people lining up were stars. The lower classes are fed up of their lives, fed up of pandering to a corrupt government. And Dante made it look so tempting.”
“Isn’t it still a big risk to take?” Izzy asks, her gaze alternating between us.
“It is,” I acknowledge. “People must figure it’s worth the risk, but I don’t get it. It’s beyond idiotic. All those people …” I hang my head.
“Hey, we’ll figure a way to sort it.” Izzy touches my elbow.
“We have to stop this now, before more leave for Saven.”
“I know,” Neve agrees. “But I don’t think it’s possible.”
I pull my knees into my chest.
“It’s hard to know where we should focus first. The fighting is in full swing on Saven, and we still don’t know where Win and Dali are,” she adds.
“And I still don’t know where my sister is,” I whisper, dropping my feet to the floor. Ax and Logan move at the same time, each boy taking one of my hands in theirs. My face flares up. I extract both hands, tucking them under my arms. Everyone looks away, pretending not to notice the awkwardness replacing the oxygen in the air. My heart pounds in my chest. I need to deal with this now, before it blows up in my face. “I need to talk to you.”
“Yeah. You do.” Logan clears his throat. “We’ve lots to discuss, plenty of things to decide, but I think we should take time out to freshen up. Let’s meet back here in thirty minutes, and we’ll formulate a plan.”
I rise and step out into the corridor. The two boys follow me in silence. Striding toward the room at the farthest end, I want to keep as far away from prying ears as possible. Logan’s steady footsteps slap off the floor as he trails me. My heart slams against my ribcage in urgent alarm. I’ve no idea how to relay this without upsetting him, and nerves are punching holes in my gut. But it needs to be said.
“Sadie? Can I have a word in private, please,” Ax says.
“Give me a minute.”
Logan doesn’t acknowledge me. He folds his arms across his chest and watches me cross the corridor with the intensity of a sniper.
“What are you going to tell him?” Ax’s eyes flash from my face to Logan’s.
“I’m going to tell him the truth.”
“Which is?” His eyes bore a hole in my head.
I rub the back of my neck. “Ax, please, let me do this my way. I will speak to Logan, and then I’ll come and talk with you. Okay?”
“Do you love me or him?” He peers intently into my eyes, putting me on the spot.
“I’m not answering that.” It takes enormous effort to remain collected. I’m certain Logan can hear every word we are saying, and if he was in any doubt before, he sure as hell isn’t now.
“Can’t or won’t?” Ax’s jaw pops in and out.
“I’ll come talk to you soon.” I start backing away. A pang of sorrow contorts his face, and the urge to comfort him is strong.
Oh, God. How can I do this? How can I hurt two of the people I love the most?
Pushing past Logan, I enter the small bedroom, heading straight for the adjoining bathroom. I turn on the shower as Logan begins rummaging in cupboards. “Here,” he says, handing me a towel and a set of clean clothes. “You go first.”
“Thanks.” I can’t even look him in the eye.
I shower and change quickly, though my cowardly side is encouraging me to hide in here for as long as possible. When I emerge from the bathroom, with rolls of steam seeping into the air around me, Logan silently hands me a medical kit as he takes his turn showering.
Fifteen minutes later, we are both free of grime and freshly attired. Logan is cleanly shaven and looking more like himself. He tends to my injuries while I do the same for him. Flipping my arms over and back, I’m amazed at the smooth new skin. It’s as if I was never burned at all.
We haven’t spoken more than a few mundane words since the interaction with Ax in the corridor. But I can’t put this off any longer. Perching on the edge of the bed, I fiddle with the steel bands on my wrists.
Logan reaches out and takes my hands. Tilting my chin up, I peer into the beautiful depths of his pleading blue eyes. “No more secrets or lies,” I tell him, smothering my fear. “I didn’t tell you this back in the dungeon because it wasn’t the time or place, but I always intended on telling you at the first opportune moment. It’s important you understand that I’m sharing this because I want to be upfront with you, not because Ax is mad at my omission.”
He squeezes my hand. “I believe you, and after everything you and I have been through, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything. No matter how bad it is, we will get through it together. Because that’s what we do.” Leaning forward, he gently presses his lips to mine, and it’s exactly the shot of courage I need.
“I love you.” I wrap my arms around his neck.
He hauls me into his warm embrace. “And I love you.”
I kiss his cheek before pulling back. “Keep that in mind as you listen. Promise me?”
He raises my hand to his lips and brushes a soft kiss against my knuckle. “I promise.”
I inhale a brave breath and kick off. “So, I already told you that I was held captive on Torc for twelve years. What I didn’t say was how Ax was the main reason I survived the ordeal. He was always there for me.” Logan clenches his jaw. “I had all these hand-drawn pictures on my bedroom wall, full of images of Ax and me. It was only ever the two of us.”
I pause as Logan’s Adam’s apple jumps in his throat. I wet my lips and spur myself on. “We were best friends from the outset, but then Griselda assigned me as his official mate, and our relationship evolved.” A look of horrified understanding washes over Logan’s face. “We are … I mean, we were …” Lord, this is so hard to articulate.
“Boyfriend and girlfriend?” Logan supplies in a strangled tone of voice, drawing the obvious conclusion.
If only it were that simple.
“Yes, but we took it even further than that.”
Logan’s face pales and he holds himself rigidly stiff. He gulps. “What are you saying, Sadie? Who is he to you exactly?”
My heart is hammering in my chest and blood roars in my ears. Butterflies swarm my gut, and I think I might hurl. But I have to get these words out. “He’s my husband, Logan. We were married on Torc before I was returned to Earth.”
Logan stares at me in wide-eyed shock. Every emotion imaginable flits across his face. He is frozen stiff and locked up as tight as a person can be. His mouth opens and closes, and he’s clearly struggling to deal with the bombshell I’ve dropped. I know he needs time to digest it, so I sit patiently while he tries to process it.
I’m actually pretty impressed with him right now. If the tables were turned, and he was admitting that he was married to some other girl, I think I’d be a sodden, hysterical heap at his feet.
Either that or I’d be throwing things around the room.
Or slapping him, or her.
“Did you … have you … slept with him?”
His anguished look rips me apart, but I can’t lie to him. I gently nod. “Apparently, but I don’t remember any of it. Nor do I want to.” I thread my fingers through his cold, stiff ones.
His heartbroken face shreds my insides to pieces. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
“Where does this leave us?” He peers into my eyes, fear and pain visibly evident in his gaze. “Is there even an ‘us’?” he whispers.
“Nothing has changed, Logan.” I gently cup his face. “I love you. I only want to be with you. That other me—the one who loved Ax with her whole heart—was from a different lifetime. It’s a version of me that no longer exists. But I have to be honest with you—with both of you—and the truth is I care about him. Deeply. I may not remember my past life with him, but I feel very … protective of him. He spent years caring for me, and I can’t turn my back on him. I can’t do that to him.” I fist my hands in my lap as I look down.
“A part of me understands that, Sadie,” Logan says, tipping my chin up with his finger, “and loves you even more for it. But, how can you think that when he let his mother do those things to you? He should’ve stopped her! You don’t owe him anything.” His features have unfrozen, and he’s looking and sounding more like the Logan I know and love.
“You don’t understand.” I worry my lip between my teeth. “He’s desperate for her approval. She is the only parent he has ever known. From what I’ve seen of my memories, he was always trying to please her, to make her proud. And she treated him appallingly.” I shake my head as I remember things I’ve been shown, things I recall. “Besides Griselda, I’m the only other person he cares about. He was caught in the middle of the two people he loved, and he did his best. He didn’t approve of her plans, and I saw how he fought her for me. He did what he could.”
Saven Defiance (The Saven Series Book 4) Page 8