Lady Eloise [Book 6 of Ever After, an Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood novel]

by Robert Iannone

  “On behalf of my husband and myself, welcome to Se’rene. This is the first meeting of the Citizen’s Council . . . in what I hope will be a semi-annual event. We have food and drink over there,” and she pointed to three very long table – one for each species. “On Earth, this style of eating is called a buffet. You simply help yourself to whatever you wish – as often as you wish. When the meeting is over, we’ll wrap the remainder of the food for you to take home and share with your friends and family.”

  Everyone stared at her . . . no one moving or talking.

  “Wife, perhaps you will allow me to demonstrate.”

  “How about if we both go. Come on, you guys, follow us,” and she and Benny went to the table with human fare. The guests shrugged at each other than followed.

  Twenty minutes later everyone was back in their seats eating and drinking and talking among themselves.

  Egg asked for their attention and they all stopped what they were doing – most putting down their plates somewhat reluctantly.

  “No, no. While you’re with me, we play by Earth rules. Feel free to pick up your food and drinks. This is an informal meeting so there is no right or wrong etiquette that you need to worry about. Each of you has the list of the five most important concerns that we collected. If you take them out, we’ll start discussing each one.”

  One of the dragons cleared his throat – his way of asking to be recognized.

  “Yes, Sy’gon?” Egg had to study hard to be able to put names with faces. She had also obtained a biography of everyone so she knew something of each attendee.

  The dragon was impressed but did his best not to show it. “How can we all have the same issues? What could a serpent’s problem have to do with a dragon’s?”

  “Excellent question. Let’s see – you have two children. Your oldest is doing very well in school. Your youngest, a very attractive girl if I might add, is struggling with her studies though not with the boys. Math in particular seems to get the best of her.”

  Sy’gon’s mouth dropped open despite his best efforts to maintain his dragon-like indifference. “Um . . . um, yes.”

  “Anyone else have a similar issue with their children?”

  Surprise – they all did. Well, the married ones that is.

  “Does that answer your question?”

  “Yes, Your Majesty,” and he bowed his head.

  “Sy’gon, I will pluck your feathers if you call me that again. My name is Egg and I expect you to address me that way. And while we are in this meeting, my husband has given you permission to call him Ben’Edikk. No titles. Everyone understand?”

  “Would you really pluck his feathers?” asked a human woman.

  “Worse. I would change into my flying suit and make him race me around Q’umulus for all the population to watch. This skinny human girl would kick his oversized rump.”

  Eighteen mouths dropped open . . . only Benny wasn’t shocked by his wife’s colorful imagery.

  Egg laughed at her guests then stuck out her tongue. “Loosen up people. This is serious business but it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy ourselves.”

  Dead silence . . . then a half minute later someone ‘h’ssss-ed’ loudly. That did the trick and the room was filled with ‘eeks’ and laughs and a few thwacks of slapping serpent tails.

  *****

  “Are you sure you can support me on this?” Egg was addressing the Queen, her parents, and her husband.

  Meggy had her hand over her mouth as if she was seriously contemplating Egg’s suggestions. In truth, she was covering a smile. “I, for one, think it is a marvelous idea. And if everyone else agrees, I will discuss it with the monarchs of Serpents and Dragons.”

  “Thanks. What about you Dazzle?”

  “I believe I will be inundated by complaints. However, I have never doubted you before and I will not do so now. Do as you deem appropriate.”

  “Thank you. Lord Z’kkk.”

  “I really like it when you call me Dad. My children never did.”

  “Oh Father,” sighed Meggy.

  “See. Even now. As to your suggestions, I just ask that you remember that you are going against thousands of years of tradition. There will be much resistance.”

  “Is that a yes . . . Daddy?”

  Z’kkk smiled. “I can refuse my little girl nothing.”

  Egg was forced to give the man a hug. She then turned to her husband. “Benny, give me your honest opinion – not as my husband but as the Royal Prince.”

  “And I will not be held in utter contempt if I disagree? I can still expect my wife to love and cherish me as dearly as she has to this point?”

  Egg smiled. Her response was right out of the Old West. “You pays your money and you takes your chances.”

  “Quaint. Well, like my daddy would say, “Son, when your wife is riding a high horse, stay out of her way.”

  “Z’kkk, did you truly say that?” demanded Rose of her husband.

  Refusing to make eye contact with his wife, Z’kkk muttered, “Sweetheart, have I told you how simply lovely you look today?”

  The three younger royals laughed while Rose gave her husband a seductive smile and a wink.

  *****

  Days later, the Prince sent out an invitation (more of a summons) to all Royals to join him and his wife for drinks and a discussion of a subject of national importance. At the last minute, Egg – heading Lord Z’kkk’s warning – decided to exempt the older generation of nobles from this meeting. They were probably the least able, and the least willing, to change their ways. Hopefully, the younger generation would be more amenable to her suggestions (you may substitute the words ‘royal decree’ for ‘suggestions’ if you so choose).

  Egg looked every bit the Princess in her black dress. Her husband fought the urge to grab her and do something unbecoming of a gentleman. “You look simply marvelous.”

  She smiled absentmindedly – so distracted by what was about to happen tonight. “How do you think they’re going to react?”

  “On one hand, it doesn’t really matter. You are the Royal Princess and your wish is their command.”

  “No. That won’t work. They have to buy into this otherwise it will never work.”

  “Then, my darling, work your magic on them. I have never known you to fail at persuading others to do the right thing.”

  “There’s always the first time.”

  “For mere mortals, perhaps. Not for you,” and he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

  “Maybe. But keep your sword handy just in case.”

  “If they cannot see the brilliance in your plan, then let them eat cake.”

  “Eat cake?”

  “For shame. Your Marie Antoinette said that of the peasants when they could not see the error of their ways.” To his credit, he was studying earth history to better understand his wife . . . and her mostly incomprehensible references.

  Egg laughed. “Ha. You forget that the story ended when they chopped off her head.”

  *****

  She made her grand entrance and everyone gaped. She whispered to Benny, “What are they staring at? Do I have spinach in my teeth?”

  “They are more in awe of you than our citizens.”

  “That’s ridiculous. It has to be the spinach.”

  The royal couple did a circuit of the room and spoke a few words to each individual. Human women curtsied while men, dragons and serpents bowed their heads. When this piece of protocol was complete, Egg addressed the gathering.

  “Thank you all for coming. I do have some ideas I wish to discuss with you. However, please enjoy the refreshments first. We will talk shortly.” She turned to her husband. “Maybe I can just email or text them my plans.”

  The young man ignored the incomprehensible references. “Calm yourself. Remember, I stand ready with my sword.”

  Egg giggled.

  “What?”

  “I just remembered the last time you tried to save me with your sword. As I recall, you ende
d up underneath the foot of a giant bug.”

  Benny laughed. “Thank my stars Ix’nay meant me no real harm.”

  “Could you get me some champagne? My throat feels like I swallowed a mouthful of sand.”

  “Shall I leave my sword?”

  “I wish I could say yes.”

  He left and a moment later a dragon approached. It was Rap’tor, a relative of the former Queen F’Aerianne, the legendary rainbow dragon. “Your Majesty,” and he bowed his head.

  “Please, do me a favor and call me Egg.”

  “That I cannot do. It would be disrespectful. May I compromise and call you Lady Eloise?” Benny had warned his wife that there were two individuals that would be the most influential in convincing the others to do as she wished. Naturally, they would also be the most difficult to persuade. Rap’tor was one of them.

  “Sure. How can I help you?”

  Rap’tor had his spies and he knew in general terms what Egg was planning. “I was hoping to do you a service.”

  “Yes?”

  “Before you announce your plans, I would let you know that I am vehemently opposed. Without my approval, no Dragon will agree to participate. I would not want you to embarrass yourself in front of this august gathering.”

  Oh, that was absolutely perfect. She almost thought Benny had put the dragon up to it. Egg’s nervousness morphed into a cloud of defiance. No one was going to tell her what she could or could not do. Certainly not this arrogant, self-important, and pompous winged whacko. She smiled at her guest. “You are so very kind to think of my feelings. I owe you an enormous debt of gratitude.”

  The idiot believed her words and preened. “I am but your humble servant.”

  Just then Benny returned with a flute of champagne. “Thank you dear. Rap’tor here was just offering me some friendly advice.”

  “Was he?”

  Before the dragon could respond, she asked, “Where is Kru-Ella?” She was the other individual Egg had to contend with.

  “Just there,” and her husband pointed.

  “Would you be a dear and fetch her, Rap’tor. I would like to talk to both of you.”

  “Yes, Lady,” and he went to do as he was bidden.

  “What’s going on?” whispered Benny.

  “Time to man up.”

  “Me?”

  “No, silly. Me.”

  The dragon returned with an over-dressed young woman. “Your Majesties,” and she bowed her head.

  “My guess is that you already know what tonight’s gathering is about.”

  The woman stared defiantly at Egg. “I do, Princess.”

  “And your position on the matter?”

  “I am opposed.”

  “Shocking.” To the gathering she said “Please. If I may have your attention,” and they all gathered round. “Before I discuss my ideas, I have an announcement. I have decided to make Rap’tor and Kru-Ella official ambassadors of the Court of M’earth,” and she began to clap her hands. Everyone felt obliged to join in. The two new ambassadors just stood there – frozen in place. “In their new capacity, they will be leaving on a tour of all one hundred planets in the Federation. They will spend at least one month in each location to observe the culture and scientific developments of each world and will report back to me what they learn.” She raised her flute. “Let’s wish them a good voyage since they leave at first light,” and everyone did.

  “I object,” growled the dragon.

  “I have no intention of leaving,” complained the woman.

  Before Egg could respond, Benny stepped in front of her (just in the unlikely case there was violence). “The Royal Princess has spoken and you two will obey. If you are not gone in the morning, I will strip you of your titles and banish you from Aerianna. Do I make myself clear?” He stared at the two until they broke eye contact.

  In the silence that ensued, you could hear the collective heartbeats of the hundred or so guests.

  The dragon spoke first. “I have reconsidered my position on the matter before us. I do believe that I can fully and enthusiastically support it.”

  “Me too,” blurted the woman.

  “What say you, wife?”

  “No.” That answer shocked her husband. It was so out of character for Egg not to be charitable. “Agreeing under duress is meaningless. I want you two to go over there and sit. Say nothing . . . just listen. Understand?”

  They mumbled yes.

  “Go,” and they slithered off. To the rest, she said, “I apologize. I was hoping to conduct this meeting in a little less confrontational manner. Over the last two years, I have had the privilege of meeting all of you . . . getting to know some of you quite well.” She smiled mischievously and continued. “My husband and I both agree that most of you are very nice,” she emphasized the word ‘most’ with an even bigger smile. The crowd responded in kind.

  “If I can generalize my opinion of this collective group, I would say that you are intelligent, kind, caring . . . and bored.” The first three adjectives elicited nods of approval; the last, startled glances.

  K’oral, a sea serpent on friendly terms with Egg asked, “Why do you say that, Lady Eloise?”

  “I mean the term in a much more grandiose way. You are bored because you have achieved so much less than you are capable of. Let me demonstrate. I need a volunteer. I warn you first that you might find this a bit embarrassing.”

  No one deemed it wise to raise a hand or a talon.

  Egg laughed causing the tension in the room to dissolve. “Don’t blame you. So, I’ll pick one . . . no, I’ll pick two. Rap’tor and Kru-Ella please come here.” All eyes turned toward the two ‘outcasts’. “Come on, chop-chop.”

  The two slowly and reluctantly did as they were told.

  “You three,” and Egg pointed at a group of humans, “clear the table.” They did as they were told. “Now you two get up there.”

  “You wish me to stand on a table?” Kru-Ella was horrified.

  Pointing at the same group that had cleared the table she said, “Hey guys, help her up.” To Rap’tor, she added, “Need help?” and offered the dragon her hand. The rest of the guests sniggered.

  After the two ‘volunteers’ were in place, Egg said, “Ladies first. Cruel-Ella (purposely mispronouncing her name) please tell your peers the three most important accomplishments in your life.”

  “Truly?”

  “Yup.”

  “Very well.” She gave the question a moment’s thought. “My coming of age party was the envy of everyone here, my Spring Soiree is still being talked about, and the dinner I hosted for the Prince’s grandparents will never be equaled.” She finished with a tilt of her head as if taking a small bow.

  “How exciting. Your turn, Rap’tor.”

  He named three inane accomplishments, spread his wings, and bowed.

  “So, if I can summarize . . . generations of wealth and privilege, education, and training, and that’s your crowning achievements in life.” To the rest, she said, “Ask yourselves, at the memorial service after you die, if your family read off similar . . . accomplishments . . . as reason your memories should linger in the minds and hearts of those you leave behind, will you be happy? Will they actually remember?” The scorn in her voice was evident and the others looked away.

  “Get down you two,” she commanded. On impulse, she decided for little more theatrics. “Ring, tend to my suit.” The guests had all witnessed the transformation at the wedding but, come on, you can never get enough of this stuff.

  Egg leapt on the now vacated table. “I’m the luckiest person in the known universe. Having the opportunity to be Flying Girl was . . . is . . . a miracle. So many odd things had to come together for this to happen. But it did and I’m proud to say that I tried to make the most of it. I’m not going to bore you by repeating what you already know about the accomplishments of the Hameggattic Sisterhood. However, I do want to ask you a question. Think of your life as it is now. If the flying suit suddenly beca
me yours, do you have the spirit, the will, the desire, the strength of character to be selfless and use it to help others? Or would you hold parties and strut around pretending to be something you are not – at least not in your heart?”

  She let that sink in . . . waiting for someone to ask her what the heck she was driving at. Thankfully, K’oral did. “Lady, what can we do?”

  “The reason I called this gathering is to convince you our society needs to change. You represent the ‘haves’. Those two miles below us are the ‘have nots’. I want to change that.

  I ask that you all consider the following plan. First, each of you will informally adopt a village or a part of a larger city to mentor. As such, you will get intimately involved with the lives of your new charges. Their success in life will be yours. Their failures will also be yours. You will be judged accordingly.

  Second, each of you will do community service one week in four. That means working in the schools, the hospitals, in shops or fields . . . and experiencing firsthand the nature of the lives these people live and using that experience and your imagination and intelligence to improve their lot.

  Finally, talk amongst yourselves and share ideas. Discuss what worked and what didn’t. Make this service a point of pride for yourselves. Prove that you are worthy of all the gifts that life has given you. I promise that this will be an incredibly rewarding experience.”

  Kru-Ella was determined to be defiant to the end. “That is not what nobility does. It is an abomination.”

  “Your royalty came from the great deeds of your ancestors. All you did was to inherit the wealth they earned. Put it another way – you are royal by an accident of birth not by right of accomplishment. It’s time you gave something back to society. Let’s work together to improve the lives of the less fortunate. It’s time that Aerianna set an example for the rest of the Federation.”

  “But what gives you the right to make these changes? Your only claim to power is that you married the Prince.”

  “Don’t be a complete idiot,” bellowed an angry Benny. “This woman saved all of us from Mobius. She was nine years old at the time. Nine. Years. Old. What were you doing when you were that age? I, for one, was learning to be a stuffed shirt. In retrospect, it is embarrassing to remember.”