Twisted Desire (The Knot Duet Book 1)

by M. Mabie

  I’d learned much more than I bargained for that week as I read every credible book on the subject.

  Still, from what I gathered from her, she didn’t really fit into any specific mold or type—and there were many of them to choose from.

  That boded well for me. Maybe she would be open as to try some things my way if I could agree to a few things for her.

  It was a class in true patience.

  I had one more book, which was turning out to be the most insightful in terms of practice. I wanted to finish it before my sister Blake came for the weekend.

  I hated calling it a night because I never wanted her to leave, but I had homework to do. I needed a way to propose an option where we both benefited.

  I wanted Nora so fucking badly, but I wanted her on her terms. Okay, I always wanted things on my terms, but some of her terms, too.

  I planned to make her an offer.

  She began to say, “I’m glad you’re being honest, but...”

  That’s all I caught as I started to say, “I have an early morning meeting...” I wished I’d waited to hear what she was going to say first, but it was what it was.

  “Right. Okay, yeah. I need to go anyway,” she said. Then she darted around me and grabbed her glass and keys off the counter. “Thanks for the steak. You’re right. It was amazing.”

  I’ll show you amazing.

  Before I could say much of anything, she was already through the door and gone.

  I watched her through the peephole like I had when I knew she was coming down the hall before dinner. She walked much differently than she had before. Earlier she’d had a spring in her step. She’d been excited to see me.

  Of course, I could have been cooler and not opened the door right away, but I’d know better next time.

  The fact was, she’d reached out to me.

  Having just left, she damn near jogged down the hall. Running away, it seemed.

  From what she wanted? I hoped.

  From me? That was obvious.

  I hated how she’d closed up and literally froze when I’d told her what I did. I didn’t want to feel like I was forcing myself. Ever. The thought alone was abhorrent to me.

  No. She had to want me. Crave my touch. Come to me willingly. I needed to know if it were at all possible. I just had to figure out a way for her to do it on her own.

  So, in the meantime, I was educating myself on what her terms were.

  Knowledge is power, right? I liked power, and with her, I’d felt like I’d had none—up until that week.

  There were no specific set of rules, though, in her lifestyle, as I was learning. Everything seemed so singular to the person and what they wanted. If they were lucky, they’d find other people who appreciated things the same way. Or they found people who wanted things a little different but were flexible.

  Polyamory had a lot to do with empathy, much like being smart with power. Gaining ethically, by not taking what you didn’t deserve. There was a lot written about their ethics, which put me at ease.

  I understood integrity. I could resonate with that way of thinking.

  Another facet I respected was their total respect for the truth. Trust. Everything was transparent.

  After she was gone, I went back to my office and read until it got late. It was after one a.m. by the time I got into bed, but I didn’t sleep until the book was finished.

  I could deal with things better—much like my anxiety—when I understood them. That’s what I was searching for. Understanding.

  I had a lot to think about, and after I figured out a way to talk to her about a compromise, she’d have a lot to think about, too.

  It was down to time again, but I fell asleep feeling positive. Feeling like there was a possible way for us to work, at least on a trial basis. It all hinged on whether she was willing to try.

  “YOU’RE WHAT?” I ASKED my younger sister on the phone the next morning.

  “I’m coming today. I thought we could spend more time together over the holiday.” Things weren’t adding up.

  My father called me the night before, after he’d heard from Grant that he proposed to Blake. The robot, her fiancé, had bought them a house.

  If she was happy, then so was I—but, honestly, I’d never liked the guy. Not for her.

  “I heard the robot proposed,” I said, feeling the reason she was coming early had something to do with it.

  “He did. Anyway, can you pick me up this afternoon from the airport?” Her voice sounded panicked.

  I’d hoped to talk to Nora sometime before the long weekend, but it looked like that would be put on hold.

  “You know I will.” She was my kid sister, and I knew when something was up. It worried me, but I’d get to the bottom of it that afternoon.

  “Thanks, Reggie. I need to go. I’ll send you my flight info.”

  I took a deep breath and accepted the change of plans. “You’re welcome. Travel safe, Blake.”

  She’d taken a new job where she’d be traveling more, and, from what she’d told me about it, she was excited.

  I hadn’t seen her in a few months, and I looked forward to her being around more if she was going to be in Chicago more often. I’d missed not having family close.

  I was glad there wasn’t a whole lot going on in the office that morning, most people had taken extra days off, and it was quiet. No one would even notice when I left early.

  I drank coffee, the only thing that kept my head on straight, and scanned the internet for more information on the poly-life.

  I WAS CONSUMED WITH thoughts of Nora, and it was no coincidence I parked at the wrong place when I went to pick up Blake.

  ME: I’m at departures. Sorry.

  BLAKE: That’s okay. I just got my bag. I’ll come there.

  I got out of my car and walked around to the other side. A few minutes later, she came through the doors lugging a bag behind her. When she saw me, she almost looked like she was going to cry.

  Engaged.

  New job.

  Maybe she was merely overwhelmed. I could sympathize.

  Still, I hoped it was happy emotion I saw and not something else. As soon as she caught sight of me, she ran straight into my arms.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said into my shoulder. I hugged her and rocked her back and forth in a tight squeeze. She’d looked like she needed a good hug.

  “Everything okay?” I asked when I set her back on her feet, but her attention wasn’t on me any longer. She stared at some guy with shaggy hair and some drunk girl. She took a few steps toward them like she knew who they were, and protectively I followed.

  Then she leaned into me for support.

  “Hi,” the guy said to her, he recognized her, too.

  Who in the hell was he?

  The girl he was with, who was barely standing on her own, spoke, but something wasn’t right.

  “Hey,” he said to Blake. “Aly, hold on,” he shouted to the blond, and I probably would have done the same thing. She yanked on his arm like some disobedient puppy on a leash.

  His face was softer when he looked back at my sister, and that was a damn good thing for him.

  I didn’t want to cause a scene, but if Blake needed help, I’d be there to do it.

  My instincts warned me it was time to go. I was tired. I was hungry. I was still unsettled about how things were left with Nora the night before.

  In hindsight, I should have called or sent her a message, but I’d do it later. I don’t think I’d even mentioned to her Blake was coming.

  With an arm around my sister, I steered her back to the car.

  “Who is that?” I asked.

  She came without too much urging and answered, “Nobody,” as she leered in their direction over my shoulder.

  When she was in the passenger seat, I noticed the guy approaching the car.

  So Shaggy has balls.

  By the time I was around to the driver’s side, he was crouching next to her window.

 
; I didn’t care how big his nuts were though. It was obvious my sister knew him, and the way she’d reacted wasn’t something I’d ever seen from her before.

  He raised a hand like he was about to slap the glass, but I caught his gaze first.

  My arm reached out over the top of my car, and I cautioned him, “I wouldn’t do that. Stay away from my sister.”

  And I meant it.

  It was apparent how stressed she was on the ride. She was biting her nails and couldn’t sit still. I had to put my thoughts about Nora on the backburner, at least until I knew Blake was okay.

  She clearly didn’t want to talk, which was unacceptable. I was hungry and impatient.

  “Okay then, we’ll do this my way. Since you don’t want to talk now, we’re going back to my place. You’re going to cook for me. And then you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on. You look like shit. You got engaged and then came to visit—the day after. Then some Nobody sees you at the airport, and you don’t want to talk about it.”

  I was glad I’d ordered groceries online already; we wouldn’t have to stop anywhere. My stomach growled as I shifted the car faster to get ahead of a truck that was going too damn slow.

  She didn’t answer, so I continued, “There’s no way I’m letting this go. So figure out how you want the story to sound because you’re telling me everything.”

  The sooner I had her lasagna in my belly, the better. I didn’t focus well on an empty stomach, and now I had two women to figure out.

  It felt unusual having drinks with my sister in my new place. I was already accustomed to having them with Nora, but wine always helped.

  Blake cooked. We drank. I listened.

  She was a mess. A real fucking mess. Bags under her eyes like she’d been crying and hadn’t slept for days. I didn’t like to see Blake so not herself.

  As she finished cooking, she spilled her guts.

  She’d been cheating on the robot. Well, she’d cheated on him once—with the shaggy guy. What was strange though, was how she lit up when she talked about this other dude, compared to how she looked when she talked about Grant.

  She was even jealous of the drunk chick. I’d never seen Blake jealous in my life.

  “What the hell am I doing?” she asked me after what I’m assuming was the bulk of the story.

  In my current state of personal upheaval, I didn’t know if I was qualified to give her advice. I didn’t want to fuck her up any more than she was.

  I wasn’t sure about the other guy, but Grant was a chump.

  “I don’t know. I need to think about it.”

  Then I heard a knock at my door and forgot everything I’d heard.

  Nora.

  Shit.

  Then, I remembered I’d plugged my phone in to charge in my office when we’d gotten back from the airport.

  What if she’d needed something?

  There was a lot going on. “Just a second,” I told Blake, then rushed to the door.

  As I looked out the peephole, I took a deep breath. My sister was going through something, but I really wanted to see Nora.

  I opened the door enough to talk.

  “Hello,” I said around the steel.

  “Hey, I sent you a text. I have some time to kill before I head out and thought we could have a cocktail or something.” She smiled brightly.

  I looked her up and down.

  Time to kill before what?

  How fucking tall were those shoes?

  “How’s the toe?” Obviously, it felt better.

  “Good. You like?” She said as she lifted her foot for me to inspect the heels.

  Goddamn.

  I didn’t have time to appreciate them. “Nora, my sister’s in town.”

  I’d lose my mind trying to play cool in front of Blake with her dressed like that. Those fucking shoes were sky-high.

  Was she going out?

  “Your sister?” she asked eagerly, then peeked around me and waved.

  Blake said, “Hello,” from across the room.

  Great, she was watching.

  There was nothing I could do. Nora pushed on the door and stepped past me, right into my apartment headed straight for my messed-up sibling.

  “Hi, I’m Nora. I live down the hall. You’re Blake, right?”

  She had a good memory.

  They shook hands, and I surrendered—it was best just to roll with it.

  “It’s nice to meet you. Have you eaten? I made plenty,” Blake offered before I could. I inwardly cringed and ran my hand over my flexing jaw.

  I could do this. I could multitask.

  If I could just stop looking at Nora’s ass in that fucking dress, then I’d been fine. I attempted to quell my on-setting nerves with the fact that she came to me again.

  “It smells so good. I don’t mind if I do. Reagan told me that you’re a chef,” she told Blake, who perked right up when Nora called me Reagan. Then Nora looked at me, “Right?”

  I nodded, hoping she’d keep talking before Blake started in on the Reagan thing.

  Jesus, what a clusterfuck.

  “So, I’d be a fool to pass up this cooking,” she politely added.

  Nora knew where my dishes were. Hell, she’d put them away the night before.

  When she saw we had wine, the Kathryn Hall Cabernet Sauvignon—the same as the one she’d lied about buying me—she gave me a knowing grin.

  I enjoyed how it felt to have a secret with her. Something we shared. Her small smile was a big comfort.

  She got a plate and sat down across from us like I had the first time she was over.

  “So, what are we talking about?” she asked.

  Then my brain started turning. I couldn’t have the conversation I wanted with Nora, to ask her more questions, to tell her what I knew, but it was a chance for me to get more in her head, without it being about me.

  I started, “Well, this is right up your alley.”

  Okay. Cheating wasn’t, but I wanted her to acknowledge that, not me.

  First, I needed to make sure it was okay with Blake before I went any further. “Do you mind if I tell her?”

  She didn’t think too long on it and answered, “No.”

  Perfect. Here we go.

  “My little sister here is in a situation. She’s been dating the same robot—sorry Blake, excuse me—guy for over a year. He’s a decent guy. He’s good to her, and they love each other. A few months ago, she ran into a man—we’re still calling him Nobody—when she was out of town, and they had a one-night stand.”

  I met Nora’s eyes, and she took a deep breath realizing what she’d walked into. I held her silver gaze, causing my thoughts to run wild again.

  Where in the fuck was she wearing that to?

  Was she going on a date?

  Was she seeing them?

  She shot me a look that accused me, then she looked kindly at my sister to confirm my story. I beat down my apprehension and fought to focus on one thing at a time.

  “It’s true,” she admitted. “I’m a terrible person.”

  I was going to need more to drink but went on to get it all out in the open. “So, according to her description, it was pretty fucking good, without going into too much detail. I’m her brother, and I don’t want or need the particulars.”

  That amused Nora, but she stifled her laugh for my benefit.

  Then I recognized she, too, had an opportunity to get some things across to me.

  Shit.

  “Good, huh? Better than the robot?” Nora asked me, not Blake.

  Was she teasing me?

  “I think so,” I said and looked at my sister for confirmation. She looked so ashamed and lost.

  “Keep going,” Nora insisted, eating up every word.

  I shook my head at her. “You’re loving this aren’t you?”

  “Oh, you bet I am. Now talk.” She wasted no time, already pushing my buttons, knowing I couldn’t react to her with my sister sitting right there.

  “
Okay, so they’ve been sending each other messages—”

  Blake interrupted. “Clean messages.”

  Somehow, I doubted that. Then again, I wanted to fuck Nora’s brains just shy of out of her head, so I knew it was possible to do.

  I went on. “So they text back and forth every day. She feels bad, but she still doesn’t stop doing it. Then yesterday, a woman who claims to be Nobody’s girlfriend—which Blake didn’t know about—sends her messages telling her to, pretty much, fuck off.”

  I wasn’t being very sensitive, but my sister was in a mess, and I wanted to know what Nora thought about it before she had to leave.

  Maybe it’s a work thing.

  Maybe it’s an orgy.

  Cool the fuck down.

  Then, Blake looked at me like she was about to fall apart, and it brought me back to the moment. Moisture collected in her brown eyes. She confessed, “She called me Nobody.”

  My sister wasn’t anybody’s Nobody, but now I understood.

  “So that’s where Nobody got his name. Gotcha.” She’d been hurt, but not directly by the shaggy guy, which was good for him. I’d let him live. “You’re not Nobody. What a bitch.”

  I leaned over and gave her forehead a quick kiss. I didn’t do it to earn anything or benefit with Nora, although I was glad she saw it. I wasn’t ashamed. Blake was my sister and I loved her.

  Despite what she might think, I cared about people. Especially ones who were close to me. If she would be open to hearing me out, I’d show her how I took pride in caring for others.

  “So, then...” Nora led her to continue. Blake rattled off the rest and put her head down on the counter.

  I gave Nora an I-don’t-know expression, and her eyebrows lifted sympathetically, seeing I was at a loss.

  She silently mouthed, “Do you want me to be honest?”

  Of course I did. I made a face like come on don’t you know me at all?

  She mouthed, “Okay. Okay.”

  Then she spoke in full voice, “Wow. Reagan, do you have more red? We need more wine.”

  She sure was calling the shots, wasn’t she? I pulled another bottle out and asked her, “Do you want to open it, Nora?” She was grabbing life by the balls. She might want to open the wine bottles, too.

  “Very funny,” she countered.