Howl (Howl #1)

by Jody Morse

  “Why would it be awkward?” Emma asked confusedly. “I thought your date went good.”

  “Yeah, well, I thought so, too. He told me yesterday that he doesn’t want to go out with me again, though. I guess he must not like me anymore.”

  “Well, that’s weird, considering he’s staring at you right now,” Emma said, pointing her chin in the direction Luke was sitting in.

  Samara looked over her shoulder just in time to see Luke’s green eyes dart away from her and to the floor. She turned back to Emma. “He’s probably just staring because he feels weird being in the same room as me.”

  “I don’t know, Sam. He was looking at you kind of like he wants to jump your bones. I think he still has feelings for you,” Emma said. Samara thought she picked up on a note of disappointment in her voice, but she wasn’t certain. The first bell rang, and Samara stood up to empty her tray and glanced over at Luke.

  He was staring at her again, and this time Samara knew that Emma was right. Luke was staring at her longingly, like he wanted to be next to her at that moment. It made Samara wonder what was holding him back.

  *

  On Saturday evening, Samara went into the bathroom at Emma’s house and glanced at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of low-rise dark wash boot cut jeans. Samara felt pleased by the outfit that she had chosen to wear tonight, but she thought that her face looked slightly washed out.

  Luke and his friend Colby were on their way over right now. Samara hadn’t talked to him at all since he had abruptly told her that he didn’t want to go on another date. They had passed each other in the hallway at school several times since then and, although neither of them had said a word to each other, Samara kept getting the nagging feeling that Emma was right. Luke still had feelings for her.

  She had decided before she had arrived at Emma’s house that she was going to confront him about it. Samara knew that asking him would make her seem a little more confrontational than she really was, but she had to know what was going on.

  Just as she washed her hands and wiped them against her pants, the doorbell rang. Holding her breath, Samara walked into the living room to greet their guests.

  Emma had already flung open the door and was saying, “Hi, guys! Come in! Take your shoes off. I don’t want the floor to get wet from the rain.”

  Samara glanced at the guys as they took their coats and shoes off. It wasn’t Luke and Colby. She noticed Jason first, as he walked into the living room, looking around as though he were better than everyone else. Josh followed close behind, seeming to tag along after his twin, but with a less hardened expression on his face.

  The short auburn hair and letterman’s jacket that she spotted next belonged to her cousin, Kyle. He was shorter than the Masterson twins, and his red complexion was a huge contrast to their tanner skin tones. Kyle noticed her immediately and strode over to her.

  “Hey, Sam!” her cousin said, smiling. He playfully elbowed her in the rib. “How have you been?”

  “Good,” Samara answered, trying not to stare too much at Josh. He was looking down at the floor, with his head hung over. She couldn’t help but think that he looked really depressed. Even though Samara knew why, she wasn’t sure what she should say to him. Did everyone else in the room know that he was probably going to get arrested for Lilly’s death, even though a body still hadn’t been found? Jason obviously knew, but did Emma know or was she oblivious to it, just like everything else?

  “I heard your brother ran away again,” Kyle said to her, shaking his head. “He really needs to grow up. I’m getting kind of sick of your mom constantly calling my house to see if he’s there. It makes me feel really bad for her.”

  “Oh, umm, yeah.” Samara glanced over at Emma, whose eyebrows were raised in question. Feeling a twinge of guilt, Samara looked away. She told Emma almost everything because they were supposed to be best friends, but there were things about her that Emma didn’t know. Samara didn’t feel comfortable telling Emma about Seth’s recent outbursts, mostly because she wanted to hide how dysfunctional her family had been lately and partly because she wished that the problems would go away so she wouldn’t have to worry about them anymore. Maybe if she didn’t talk about them, they would stop existing.

  Jason went into the kitchen and began filling up the plastic red cups with one of the bottles of vodka that Emma had left out on the counter. Everyone in school thought that Emma’s house was one of the coolest places to have a party. Her mom and step-dad had so many of their own “adult” parties that they didn’t even notice when the bottles all went missing from the liquor cabinet.

  “Who wants to get wasted?” Jason slurred from the kitchen. Samara rolled her eyes. She thought it was so trashy to show up at a party when you were already drunk.

  “I do!” Emma squealed.

  As Jason slinked back into the living room near where they were standing, Samara found herself instantly inching away from him. As much as she tried to like him, something about Jason still freaked her out. He was constantly staring at her, and not in the way a girl would want to be stared at by one of the most popular boys in school. The way he looked at Samara with his nearly-black eyes put her at unease. She just thought there was something really off about him and she decided that she didn’t ever want to be left alone in a room with him.

  Samara heard a car pull into the driveway. When she glanced out the window, she saw that it was a Honda Civic. Her heart skipped a beat. It was Luke.

  He stepped out of the car, smoothing out his red and white striped polo t-shirt. Colby also climbed out of the car. As he popped up the collar on his orange long-sleeved shirt and ruffled his blonde curly hair, Samara smiled. Colby was so cute in a teddy bear kind of way. It was obvious that he tried so hard to fit in – even when his clothes and actions were nothing like other guys his age.

  “Knock, knock,” Luke said as he swung the front door open.

  “You brought rum!” Emma cried excitedly, racing to the entryway to grab it from Luke. “We can make pina coladas now!”

  Emma broke out in dance as she went back into the kitchen. Normally, Samara would say something about her friend’s obvious tipsiness, but tonight, she had other things on her mind – like why Luke was staring at her intently right now.

  Before Samara had a chance to say anything to Luke, Jason was standing in between them. His shoulders had stiffened, and his whole body had gone tense.

  “Davenport,” Jason growled.

  “Masterson,” Luke nodded in reply, a cold tone in his voice that sent a shiver down Samara’s spine.

  “I heard that you were going to be here tonight. I didn’t think you’d really have the balls to show up, though.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re confused,” Luke replied, his own shoulders stiffening.

  Jason straightened his posture, making it obvious that he was standing his ground. “I’m pretty sure I understand perfectly – and I think you should leave if you know what’s good for you.”

  “What is going on?” Samara asked, as she watched Luke and Jason stare each other down. She felt like they were having a creepy exchange with their eyes.

  “Nothing,” Luke replied, not turning to look at her. “I’m out of here,” he muttered. “Colby, are you coming?”

  Colby looked at Luke and then glanced over his shoulder. “I – um, I think I might just hang here –”

  “Never mind,” Luke interrupted. “Stay if you want, but don’t expect me to give you a ride home later on.” He slammed the front door behind him on his way out.

  Samara felt her heart drop. This was not how she had been expecting the night to go. Actually, come to think of it, this was actually better, in a way. She had been expecting things to get really awkward between her and Luke. It almost seemed like a good thing that he wasn’t getting along with Jason (for whatever reason) because it took a bit of the attention off her.

  Glancing over at Emma, who was now grinding against one of
the bar stools to “Umbrella” by Rihanna. “I’ll share my umbrella with you,” Emma told the chair.

  Realizing that Emma probably wouldn’t even realize that she was gone unless she magically sobered up – and chances were she was only going to get worse as the night went on – Samara did the first thing that came to mind. She went outside and chased after Luke.

  “Luke!” Samara shouted, as she ran through the pouring rain. “Wait!”

  Luke turned around and looked at her. His brown hair was wet and messy from the rain, and Samara couldn’t help but think that he looked irresistibly hot.

  “What was that all about in there?” Samara asked. “What are you and Jason fighting over?”

  “It’s just guy stuff,” Luke shrugged, looking down at his feet, which had sunken into a puddle of mud. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Why are you acting like this?” Samara blurted out.

  Luke stared at her. He opened his mouth and then closed it. “Like what? How am I acting?”

  “Like you don’t care about me,” Samara said, feeling the tears build up behind her eyes. She tried to hold them back, and when she thought they were sliding down her cheeks, she wasn’t sure if she was feeling tears or raindrops. “When you look at me…I feel like there’s something there, like you still have feelings for me.”

  Luke’s face softened. “I do have feelings for you, Samara. I feel very strongly about you.”

  Samara shook her head in confusion. “Then, what’s going on, Luke? If you feel very strongly about me, why are you acting like this?”

  “It’s complicated,” Luke replied, looking away from her. “It’s not going to work out between us right now.”

  Samara tried to ignore the cartwheels that were going on in her stomach. “I don’t understand why it has to be complicated.”

  “It just is. You wouldn’t understand right now.” Luke turned and walked to his car. He climbed inside and, keeping his eyes on her, began backing out of the car out of the narrow driveway.

  Luke’s windows were rolled up and his mouth didn’t move a muscle, but Samara was positive that she heard him say, “I’m sorry, Samara.”

  Chapter 7

  ****

  That night, Samara bolted up in bed. Before she had even realized what she was doing, she had already climbed out her bedroom window.

  Once she was standing outside in the grassy backyard, a weird feeling rushed through her body. She tore off her clothes and threw them to the ground.

  Samara walked through her backyard and into the forest behind her house. She glanced at the moon, which shone brightly in the night sky, illuminating Starlight Lake.

  Samara felt an odd sensation take over her body, weakening her. She couldn’t tell if it was a physical pain or an emotional longing, but it felt as though the moon was calling out to her. She wanted to ask it what it was trying to tell her, but she knew that was pointless because she wouldn’t get an answer.

  Unsure of what else to do, Samara ran towards the moon. Part of her hoped that none of the neighbors would notice that she was running outside naked in the middle of the night; the other part of her didn’t care. For the first time in a long time, Samara felt wild and free. Running towards the light of the moon seemed to take away the pain that she had felt about Luke earlier that night.

  Luke. Just thinking about him made her feel empty inside. She still couldn’t figure out how she had heard him apologize to her. Samara wanted to believe that she was wrong, that she was just crazy and hearing things. She knew that wasn’t the truth, though. Samara was positive that she had heard him.

  It was almost as though Luke had communicated with her mentally, as though he was able to get inside of her head somehow. Was that possible, though? Did ESP really exist? Samara had never believed in things like that before, but however Luke had tried to relay the message to her, she had heard his voice loud and clear.

  Taking a step closer to the lake, Samara stared at the round reflection of the moon, which was glowing brightly in the water. She stared up at the sky to look at the stars, but once again, found herself drawn to the moon.

  As she walked along the sandy banks of the lake, Samara began to feel strange. She pressed her palm to her forehead, realizing that she must have a fever. Feeling a painful sensation in her stomach, Samara hunched over, fully prepared to vomit.

  It didn’t happen, though.

  Instead, she howled in pain as she felt her legs being pulled out from under her – or so she thought. Moments later, she realized that she had merely sunken down, lower to the ground. She tried to wave her arms in the air, but they were rooted firmly in the dirt. They wouldn’t move.

  Glancing down at her feet, Samara noticed that she now had four, and they were all covered in white fur. She quickly realized that she wasn’t staring at her feet. It was her paws.

  Samara looked into the lake’s water and did a double take. The reflection that she was used to seeing, of a girl with dark hair and skin that would be like that of a porcelain doll at this time of year, wasn’t there. Instead, she was staring back into the eyes of a wolf.

  She took a step forward and, sure enough, the wolf’s reflection also moved. Samara bowed her head, and the wolf’s eyes stared back at her from a different angle in the water. The wolf that was staring back at Samara was her, without a doubt.

  Samara didn’t look like an ordinary gray wolf, like the one who had attacked her the night she had gone out with Luke. The wolf staring back at her, with its amber eyes that were the same color as her own, had a coat of beautiful white fur. It was like nothing she had ever seen before.

  Taking a step forward, she watched as the wolf’s reflection moved, too.

  Staring up into the full moon, Samara felt a howl escape from her throat.

  *

  “Samara! Wake up!” Mrs. McKinley shouted, shaking her shoulders.

  Samara cracked one eye open and glanced around at her surroundings. She was lying outside in the grass, which was still soggy from the rain that had fallen the night before. Sitting up, she realized that she was naked.

  Last night really hadn’t been a dream. She actually had gone outside and taken off her clothes and . . . turned into a wolf? Samara wasn’t sure about that last part, but the rest of it was obviously true. After she had run home from Emma’s house, she had definitely gone to sleep in a pair of fleece pajamas and now, she wasn’t wearing anything at all.

  “What are you doing out here?” Mrs. McKinley asked. From the expression on her face and the tone of her voice, Samara could tell that her mom was completely bewildered. Samara wanted to tell her that she didn’t feel any better about the situation herself. She was really embarrassed that her mom had seen her lying on the ground in no clothing. She really hoped that no one else had seen her.

  “I—I don’t know,” Samara replied quietly, trying as best as she could to cover her body with her arms. She looked around the big grassy yard for her pajamas. When she spotted them on the ground next to her bedroom window, which was still open, she pointed to them. “Can you get my clothes, please?”

  Mrs. McKinley huffed and walked across the yard. “Are you drunk or using drugs?” she asked, as she handed Samara her clothes.

  Samara shook her head. “No. I haven’t drank or done any drugs.” She wondered if she should mention that there was alcohol at Emma’s party the night before, but she decided against it. If her mom asked, she would tell her. As of right now, she wasn’t lying, though. Even if Samara did drink, she wouldn’t have had a chance to at Emma’s before everything with Luke had happened. After she heard him apologize, she was so confused that she didn’t even want to be at the party anymore, so she just went him without even telling Emma.

  “If you haven’t been drinking or doing drugs, how did you get out here without even knowing it? And why weren’t you wearing any clothes?” Mrs. McKinley asked accusingly. “Are you having sex?”

  As Samara fumbled with the buttons on her fuzzy pink pajama
top, she searched her head for a logical excuse – and the truth. She wasn’t sure what the truth was, though. She had simply gotten out of bed, went outside through her window and, for some reason, had taken off her clothes. As she tried to figure out what had made her do all of these things, the only thing that Samara could think of was the moon.

  It had been so full and bright last night. She had been drawn to it before she had turned into a wolf. Isn’t that what was supposed to happen with werewolves? Samara didn’t know much about them because she had never believed in them, but she was pretty sure that they were only supposed to turn into wolves during the full moon. Is that what was happening to her?

  Samara looked back at her mom, who was still waiting for an answer. “I don’t know how I got here. Maybe I sleepwalked.” In a way, that’s what last night had felt like. It didn’t seem like she had been completely conscious and in control of herself; she had simply woken up and felt compelled to go outside and run.

  Mrs. McKinley sighed. “That could be it. I remember your dad mentioning that Grandpa Joe always used to sleepwalk. Maybe sleepwalking is hereditary. We’ll have to talk to Dr. Mason about it the next time you go in for a check-up.” Her mom opened the back door and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m going to make some breakfast. Are you hungry?”

  “Starving,” Samara replied, feeling her stomach growl at just the thought of food.

  “I figured I would make eggs, pancakes, and bacon. Would you rather have vegetarian bacon or sausage?”

  Samara shook her head. “No, I decided that I’m not a vegetarian anymore. I’ll have regular bacon.”

  It had been a week since she had started eating meat, but she hadn’t told her mom and dad about it yet. Samara realized that they were going to have to find out sooner or later, though. Meat was the only thing that she had been craving lately, and she was starting to get tired of having to sneak it at night when everyone else was sleeping or wait until she was at school to eat. Even though eating any type of meat helped control her cravings, she would rather bring deli meat or leftover fried chicken to school for lunch than order mystery meat from the school cafeteria (especially if she didn’t want to get dirty looks from Emma).