The Dirty Version

by Hadley Quinn

  ~28~

  “Josh, oh my Lord, what’s wrong?”

  I ushered him in, knowing it was something other than the awkward situation from earlier. I could just feel it in my bones.

  He rubbed a hand brusquely over his face. “It’s Freddi. She was hit by a car.”

  Fear coursed through me. Stunned, I slammed the door behind us and pulled him to the couch. “Holy shit, is she okay?”

  He sat, shaking his head in a daze. “It was really bad, Jo.” He blinked, and I could tell he was trying not to cry. I’d never seen him so upset. “I, uh, went over there—to Luke and Claudia’s—to pick something up…”

  He wavered. I tried to wait patiently, but it was hard.

  “I had to park across the street because they had a couple of trucks in front of the house, delivering bark and-and pavers or…I don’t know, landscape stuff. Freddi was on the porch with Claudia. She saw me and…”

  He dropped his head in his hands, and I could see his shoulders shake with silent sobs. My heart broke. I didn’t know what to do or say, if I should let him keep talking or just tell him he didn’t have to say any more.

  But he leaned his elbows onto his knees and turned toward me. His eyes were red, and his cheeks were wet with tears. “Why didn’t I react sooner? Why didn’t I anticipate what was going to happen?”

  I could only imagine that Freddi had been excited to see him, took off and…a work truck backed over her? Oh God, how would that feel to witness?

  “I saw her jump off the steps when she saw me. I just thought Claudia stopped her when I got out of my truck and was shutting my door. Next thing I know, a car is slamming on its brakes, screeching, trying to stop, and her little body was flying fifteen feet in the air.”

  I felt sick for him—completely sick to my stomach, just from picturing it.

  “The driver didn’t see her, got out, was screaming and crying. Claudia was screaming and crying. Fuck, I think I was screaming and crying. Just seeing her body in the road, her leg twisted under her…”

  I swallowed down my despair, scooting close to him on the couch. I pulled him to me and allowed him the time to grieve. I didn’t know if Freddi had survived or not, and as much as I needed to know that answer, I forced myself to keep my questions to myself.

  “It’s no one’s fault,” I whispered. “Accidents happen. I’m so sorry.”

  He laid onto his back and set his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair with one hand and rubbed his chest with the other.

  “She’s a fighter, that little thing,” he said. “Broken leg, arm, ribs, stitches, and a concussion. It’s a fucking miracle.”

  Relief rushed through me. Thank God!

  “Is she awake?” I dared ask.

  He nodded in my lap. “She was when I left, but I let her parents be with her. Truthfully, I was still trying not to fall apart. I’ve kept it together until now. Told my brother I’d be back in a bit because I wanted to pick up a teddy bear or something for her, but I came straight here.”

  “We can do that,” I assured him, continuing to run my fingers through his hair.

  I let him lay in silence for a few minutes until he fell asleep. There was nothing I wanted to do besides comfort Josh, be there for him, and just be a shoulder for him to lean on. Normally, I’d get fidgety sitting in one place for so long, but even after an hour, I felt the time was well utilized.

  It made me think long and hard about what I wanted. Sure, there were things I wanted to do like travel and experience the fun aspects of life…but those things didn’t seem appealing if I couldn’t do them with someone I loved.

  And I couldn’t see myself living a well-rounded life without Josh.

  Hardships were inevitable. Pain was inevitable. But having someone consistent in your life, someone you could depend on to be there for you, was far more important than constantly seeking happiness and thrills on your own. Those were the things you enjoy with that companion who sticks with you; sharing that joy is the reward for being a stalwart and faithful partner.

  And I wanted that.

  With Josh.

  ~

  When Josh woke, we picked up a stuffed animal and balloons for Freddi and took them to the hospital. It was past visiting hours, but the nurses let us in for a quick stay. Even though Freddi looked miserable lying in that bed, she perked up with the gifts. She loved the balloons and hugged the stuffed elephant as tightly as her one functioning arm could.

  As we left, Josh commented that it was strange seeing her so mellow because of the drugs. He’d never even seen her sleep. He mentioned that Luke and Claudia had decided to put her on the medication the doctors recommended for her extreme ADHD. It’d been a long and tedious debate, but they were going to try it.

  “It might be weird seeing her less than one-hundred-ten percent,” Josh commented after we stopped to pick up some food. “I guess it will be more like that.” He motioned behind him, referring to her state at the hospital.

  “It will take some time to get used to, but maybe it will be for the best,” I answered. “If Luke and Claudia made the decision, you know it’s because they need to see if it makes a difference for the better.”

  He only nodded, just as my phone rang. It was my brother, and after informing Josh, he told me to answer it.

  “Hey, Drew.”

  “Jolie…” There was anxiety and despair in his voice.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know. I’m being stupid.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think Brianna cheated on me but…”

  I waited for more, but he didn’t continue. “You think she cheated on you but what?” I asked, glancing at Josh. He frowned at me but continued to drive.

  “I don’t know,” he groaned. “I can’t be sure I can believe certain people.”

  I wanted to say I could believe she’d cheat on him; she hadn’t really made that great of an impression on me the one time I’d met her at Timeout. I’d seen her at Drew’s games, but she never bothered to talk to me. She’d been too busy bouncing around in her social circle. But my distrust in people and my protective nature for my little brother probably clouded my judgment.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  He explained that Boxer said he saw Brianna flirting with another guy on campus. Drew got defensive and chewed him out, which caused Boxer to say he’d seen her kissing that same guy a week prior.

  “Well, why would Boxer lie about that?” I asked as we climbed the stairs to my apartment. I was hoping it had nothing to do with me or any other resentment toward my brother, but maybe that was conceited of me.

  Drew went on to say that he and Boxer hadn’t been that close lately because of Brianna, whom Boxer didn’t care much for. I could understand that. Bros before hos, and I was glad it had nothing to do with me.

  Josh eventually asked Drew to eat with us, and since I thought it might get my boyfriend’s mind off his niece, I agreed it was a good idea. And double bonus, Drew ended up talking to Josh the most, so I let them have a guys-only discussion. Josh put my brother’s problems into perspective better than I could, but it appeared he was leaning more toward the anti-Brianna stance.

  When Drew got a bit defensive, Josh replied, “Hey, man, I’m only calling it how I see it. I was around her, too. She’s got a wandering eye.”

  I, myself, raised my eyebrows at that. Drew scowled, but I wondered if that chick had tried to hit on someone else at the restaurant that night.

  Josh tried to give my brother the “you’re young, try not to invest so much of yourself so soon” spiel, but Drew was such a softy, I wasn’t sure he could take that advice. He so badly wanted to believe females weren’t so devious, and that’s what had gotten him into trouble back in high school.

  I wish he’d learned his lesson, but I was seriously doubting that based on how much he liked this girl.

  Josh must have sensed the same thing, because to my surprise, he told my broth
er about Alicia. It was a simplified version of the story, but he got the point across. Drew was shocked, but furthermore, promised he’d be open to accepting the signs when they were present.

  When my brother left, I turned to Josh and said, “I want to spy on this broad and give him proof.”

  Josh chuckled until he realized I was being serious. “Come on, Jo. You can’t always hold your brother’s hand.”

  “And if you’d had proof that Alicia was a lying skank, wouldn’t you have been grateful you’d been saved the trouble?”

  He cast me an acrimonious scowl. “Yeah, you have a point. But Drew seemed to understand he needs to approach with skepticism for now. He’s smarter than I was at that age.”

  After a very nice bedtime shagging, I left Josh asleep and went to the couch to make a call. I was glad Boxer was up and nowhere near my brother but felt a little awkward making a request. I wasn’t sure of his regards toward me.

  But, the guy seemed intent on proving his point to my brother. I took that as a sign that he was telling the truth, and because of the tone of his voice, it was obvious he didn’t like Brianna. It was also clear he desperately wanted Drew to believe him.

  After a ten-minute discussion, we conspired with a plan. I could say I felt guilty for interfering in my brother’s life, but sticking it to one conniving bitch in a sea of many felt strangely invigorating.

  I felt like a worthy crusader.

  ~29~

  “You did what?”

  Josh stared at me with disbelief. I couldn’t tell if he was upset or just surprised, but it made me feel uncomfortable.

  “I don’t regret it for a single second,” I replied defensively. “And have you not listened to your messages? I explained it to you.”

  I suppose the whole photo shoot situation had been put out of his mind, given the circumstances of that night. I’d handed him a nicely wrapped gift, “just because,” thinking he knew what it was. Harlan’s photos had turned out absolutely amazing, and I couldn’t believe they were of me.

  Josh hadn’t even opened the folder and was still stuck on my words “the photo session I did for you.”

  “Jo, my phone messages have been the last thing on my mind the last couple days with everything going on with Freddi.”

  “I know, I know, I realize that. I’m sorry.”

  “But…you did that photo shoot for me?”

  I nodded. He just stared at the folder, so I frantically waved at it. “Well, open it.”

  Smiling, he did just that. I waited for his reaction, nervously biting my lip as he flipped through the half-dozen shots Harlan had selected and developed 5x7 versions of.

  He slowly shook his head. “Wow, Jo. I’m blown away.” He perused through them once more and lingered on a particular one again. A smile slowly formed on his lips, and then he looked up at me. “The one on the couch. It’s stunning.” He stared at it again. “I just-I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless.”

  “So you’re not mad that I was topless with another man?” I tried not to smile but couldn’t help it.

  “Well, how much of those beautiful breasts did he see?”

  “Just the top.” I nodded toward the photo.

  “No tits?” He arched an eyebrow at me, and it made me snort. He laid the photos on the coffee table so they were all visible. “Which one do you like best?”

  Honestly, I didn’t have a favorite. I think I was so astonished with the results, they were all my favorites for different reasons. But I pointed to one—I was leaning against a door, looking away—and something about it struck me in a special way.

  “Maybe this one. Because it’s natural. And it makes me wonder if that’s how people see me in a normal, everyday way. Like…is that what I look like to other people? I don’t know, maybe that doesn’t make sense. I’m just not used to photos of myself except at family functions where I’m with someone else or doing something weird.”

  Josh studied the photo. “I see what you mean. And yes, you are absolutely beautiful in every way.”

  “I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I know photos of myself as a gift to you is a bit conceited but—”

  “No,” he cut me off. “This is the best gift ever. And if it helped you see how truly stunning you are, that’s even better.” He leaned over and kissed me on the temple. “You’re incredible, JoJo. Inside and out. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

  I pursed my lips and pretended to contemplate. “Hmm, so the luckiest man in the world feels lucky enough to take the rest of the morning off and hang out with me?”

  He sighed regretfully. “I wish I could, but I have meetings.”

  “I know, I was just hoping.” I kissed him on the lips and stood. “Let’s feed you something before you have to leave.”

  ~

  Once Josh left for work, I sat on the couch with coffee and my laptop. There was something about writing that gave me such a feeling of contentment, I was ecstatic when I had the time for it. I was thankful for the outlet, but truthfully, writing was a form of self-discovery for me. Not only did I enjoy storytelling, but putting my thoughts and feelings into sentences helped me understand myself a little better.

  When I opened my blog, I immediately noticed the shocking new number. You have 126 new subscribers.

  What?

  I didn’t understand why I was suddenly getting new readers, and with more readers came more comments on my blog. I also realized there were several email messages in my account, something I’d never had before.

  I spent almost an hour going through all the new interactions and such. The comments on my last entry were similar to the ones from before, and each of them made me smile or feel a sense of pride. The emails were also similar in content; readers wanted to know where they could find my social media accounts or they asked if I had other work available to purchase.

  Purchase? Like for what? Someone even mentioned a book, did I write books?

  I came across one email, supposedly from a publishing company or something affiliated with one, which said they were interested in my work and wanted to know if I could meet to discuss it.

  Discuss it for what? A publishing company…to publish it?

  I had to take a deep breath. I didn’t understand what everything meant. After a few minutes, I told myself the publishing email was probably a scam, and I couldn’t trust it anyway. But, I was too curious after reading so many other comments about my blog, so I looked up the company’s website and scouted the information.

  Sure enough, I came across the name of the woman who’d sent the email. Leesa Summers. I re-read the email from her. She wasn’t asking for money or information; she wanted to meet.

  I became nervous and fidgety. Maybe I’d had too much coffee. Maybe the idea of someone being interested in publishing my blog had me scared shitless.

  Publish it? Like…how? An online chronicle through another website? Did they want my words to share with their own readers somehow?

  Frustrated but beyond curious, I emailed her back, asking for more information. It’s not like I was committing to anything, so it couldn’t hurt.

  I put it out of my mind and returned to my blog again. I still had the photo shoot to write about and the awkward ending to it. I didn’t, however, go into detail about Jock’s personal situation. His niece was doing much better, but I only referred to the incident as “a family emergency.” I focused more on the humor of the shoot instead, which is what I liked to write about anyway.

  Laughter makes the world go ‘round.

  I never held back on all aspects of my life, though. My days were well-rounded when it came to life lessons and reality. I think that’s what I liked most about my writing: the authenticity.

  And I treasured the hope that someone, somewhere, could relate to my life experiences.

  Thunk, thunk, thunk.

  I shut my laptop before answering the door. It was noon, and although I would have loved to see my brother, I knew if I did, it wouldn’t be for
a good reason.

  “Hello, love.” Harlan’s smiling face greeted me.

  “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

  He shrugged but was trying to glance past me into my apartment. “Just thought I’d see what you thought of the photos.”

  I glanced behind me, wondering what he was looking for.

  “Am I interrupting?” he asked.

  “Interrupting what?”

  “Company? I heard voices.”

  Oh. That again. “Voices plural, or just mine?” I held open the door to allow him in.

  He gave me a wry smile as he passed by. “Oh, so you talk to yourself? Hmm, no wonder.”

  “No wonder what?”

  He chuckled. “Nothing, really. Just that I often hear you, but no one else, and just assumed you had a louder voice than your company or…”

  I had to laugh but rolled my eyes playfully. “Nope, it’s just me. Yes, I talk to myself a lot. And before you say it, no, I don’t need a cat.”

  “Oh. Hell no to a cat. They’re useless creatures.” I scoffed at him, but he smiled and added, “I’m allergic to them anyway.”

  I offered him some coffee, which he declined. When I caught him eyeballing my laptop again, I shook my head. “No, you’re not reading anything.”

  I noticed the spasm at the corner of his mouth. He was trying not to smile.

  “What?” I demanded. Oh, shit. What if Harlan was one of my new subscribers?

  “Nothing, I just think…I think you should share your work, that’s all.”

  I groaned out loud. “Holy fuck, you’ve read it, haven’t you.” It was a statement, not a question. I knew.

  “Oh come on, Jolie-in-2C, I was way too curious to let it go.”

  “Great.”

  “It is excellent. Absolutely fascinating.”

  “Jesus, you’ve read the entire thing,” I muttered, covering my face.

  “I had to read more, I was too curious.”

  We both sat on the couch. “What do you mean, more? Read more than what?”

  Sighing, he motioned to my laptop. “It was open the day of the photo shoot. I couldn’t stop myself.”

  My heart fell to the pit of my stomach. He had read some of it. And that meant…