Writing a Wrong

by Betty Hechtman

  The windows were still papered over, but I noticed the sign was down with the name of the place. I knocked on the door and she looked surprised when she saw me with the stroller. ‘Is he yours?’ she said, looking at him, probably to see if he resembled me.

  ‘Nope, just helping out a neighbor,’ I said.

  ‘That’s very nice of you.’ She waved for me to wheel him inside. She kept looking at him and started to play peek-a-boo with him. It was amazing how that never got old, and in no time Mikey was giggling and playing along. ‘I bet he would like some ice cream,’ she said.

  I didn’t know quite how to say it, but I was afraid of what Mikey would do with one of the oddball flavors, but she seemed to understand without me saying anything. ‘But he probably wouldn’t like the chili chocolate that I made up this morning.’ She looked at him again. ‘I never really thought about kids eating my ice cream.’

  It seemed like the perfect time to bring up what I’d thought about when I’d been tasting the salads at LaPorte’s. I knew if I told her what it was, she’d instantly react negatively, feeling like I was telling her what to do. Instead I offered it as a question. ‘Have you ever thought about trying to put a twist on traditional flavors instead of trying so hard to be unique?’

  I could tell she was listening, but resisting. ‘You could have your special flavors as well,’ I said.

  ‘So you mean, I could make my own version of vanilla,’ she said. I could tell she was already thinking how to do it when I nodded. ‘I have some no-flavor ice cream in the back. I was going to mix in some ginger and black pepper, but I could give him some first,’ she said.

  I agreed and she went into the back. When she returned she had a small cup of the whitish ice cream for him and a scoop of brown ice cream for me. She helped Mikey with his and I prepared myself to taste mine. At first it was just a bitterish dark chocolate, but then the chili hit my tongue. ‘Are you looking for an opinion or just a description?’ I asked.

  ‘Maybe both,’ she said, taking a napkin and wiping Mikey’s hand.

  ‘It’s interesting, but maybe a little too bitter. The heat of the chili is a surprise,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll take that into consideration, along with what else you said.’ Mikey was finished with his ice cream and she went to get my check.

  Mikey seemed to be doing well in the stroller and I decided to walk to the bank and make a deposit there for a change. I realized we’d pass Handelman’s on the way. Why not show Mikey the cow jumping over the moon?

  NINETEEN

  Lewis and Emily looked surprised when I wheeled Mikey into the shop. ‘No, he’s not mine,’ I said and explained about Sara. ‘He loves the moon and I thought he’d like to see the cow jump over it.’

  ‘Of course,’ Emily said. She looked at his feet in a pair of plastic shoes. ‘You ought to tell his mother that we have something much better for his feet.’

  I promised I would, before positioning him so he had a good view of the wall piece while Emily went in the back to turn it on. Mikey was entranced.

  ‘I was actually going to call you,’ Lewis said coming up to me. ‘My aunt said she’d drop off some pictures from the old days.’ He looked up as the door to the shop opened and Laurel walked in on a cloud of floral perfume. ‘Wow, it’s like magic. I say it and it happens.’

  I was trying to think of the right words to describe her overall appearance. I’d call it successful-arty. She wore a long loose-fitting burgundy tunic with a black turtleneck underneath. I imagined the silver earrings shaped like long teardrops and silver bracelets were her own designs. Her short hair was somewhere between wavy and curly. I wondered if she was like other people I’d met with curly hair, who always wished it was straight. Her jacket was black wool and she’d pinned an amusing silver cow going over a moon on the outside. I really barely knew her, but I already liked her.

  I had to explain to her who Mikey was and she gave me an impromptu hug. ‘Aren’t you the nice neighbor.’

  ‘Sara keeps me fed, so it’s the least I could do,’ I said.

  ‘I was going to leave some photographs, but as long as you’re here, I can give them to you directly.’ She pulled out an envelope and I put it into the bag on the back of the stroller. ‘I might as well tell you more about the early days too,’ Laurel said. She looked down at Mikey. ‘But maybe not. I can’t imagine he’s going to sit still while I reminisce.’

  Mikey kicked his feet a few times and started rubbing his eyes and I saw her point. It was already late afternoon and after our little adventures he was tired. ‘He’ll probably fall asleep if we walk and talk,’ I said.

  ‘That would be fine. I could use the exercise,’ she said, patting her soft curves.

  As we got ready to leave, Lewis gave his aunt a sympathetic look. ‘Everything good?’ he asked.

  She shook her head trying to dismiss his concern. ‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Life goes on. I have my work and you two,’ she said, letting her glance take in her niece and nephew. Lewis was hovering and Laurel seemed relieved when a woman came in holding a little girl’s hand. The child stumbled a little and looked at the interior with wide eyes. Lewis showed them to seats.

  ‘That’s the best,’ Laurel said, watching the child. ‘When they come in for their first pair of real shoes.’ Laurel excused herself and went into the back. She returned holding a pink balloon attached to a weighted ribbon. The little girl’s eyes grew even rounder as she reached out for it with a giggle.

  ‘I was going to remind Lewis about the balloon, but it’s such fun to do it and watch the look on her face,’ Laurel said. ‘Now, where were we? We were going to walk and talk.’

  I nodded, looking down at Mikey whose eyes were half shut. The way Lewis had asked how she was made me think of what Tizzy had said about Laurel having some sort of issue. Now I was curious too. I wasn’t going to pump her, but if she wanted to talk, I certainly wouldn’t stop her.

  She held the door for me and I wheeled Mikey outside. The air felt soft and the afternoon was fading but there was still time for a walk before it got dark. She suggested we walk to the lakefront.

  At first we just walked and it was as if we had to get comfortable with each other. She still seemed tense as we passed through the viaduct that ran under the Metra tracks, so I made small talk, telling her about Mikey and why I was rolling him around in his stroller. His eyes were shut now and he was sound asleep. I tried to transition the conversation to being about her. ‘Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? You are one of the owners so you should be included in the “story”.’

  She seemed hesitant. ‘I don’t know exactly what you want to know.’

  ‘Don’t worry about that. More is always better. I can pick out what I need. How about we start with this? Are you married? Do you have kids?’

  She didn’t say anything, and when I looked over at her, her eyes looked sad and I realized I must have hit something sensitive and I rushed to apologize. ‘I’m sorry, was that a bad question?’

  ‘Probably not for most people, but when you’re the spinster aunt, it kind of stings.’

  ‘Believe me, you don’t seem like a spinster anything,’ I said. ‘You’re artistic, successful and you seem like fun.’ Then I told her the whole thing I was going through, feeling like I’d become a dull, no fun person.

  ‘Listen to us feeling sorry for ourselves,’ she said. ‘You’ve got a whole life ahead of you, and I need to let go and move on.’

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I said.

  ‘Lewis has made such a big deal out of it and he only knows the barest of details.’ She looked over at me. ‘You seem like a kindred spirit, so why not.’ She stopped talking as we crossed the street and resumed when we got to the other side. ‘I know it sounds ridiculous for a woman my age. But I really believed that was it. It was straight out of a rom-com for mature women.’ She shook her head with regret. ‘Maybe when you hear how it started, you’ll understand.’ She glanced over at me. ‘
Have you ever met someone and thought that it was fate, meant to be, and all that other nonsense?’

  ‘Well, actually, no,’ I said. ‘I had a short bad marriage when I was really young and it made me hesitant to trust my feelings.’

  ‘Now I’m there too,’ she said. The street here was lined with apartment buildings with small retail shops on the ground floor.

  ‘So, are you going to tell me how you met?’ I said as we passed a small yarn shop.

  ‘It’s too embarrassing. I’m supposed to have experience and know better.’ It seemed like that was going to be the end of it, but after a moment, she put up her hands. ‘It’s probably good to talk about it as long as you keep it to yourself.’

  I agreed not to tell anyone. And I meant it. I’d make some excuse to Tizzy.

  ‘I could understand it, if I’d met him on a dating site. They are notorious for weirdos and jerks. But we met the natural way. The first time was in an elevator downtown. We both reached for the button at the same time.’ She let out a mirthless laugh. ‘Sounds like something from a movie, doesn’t it? I’d just had a good meeting with a store about showing my line and I was feeling stoked. He commented on me looking happy and we struck up a conversation. It was pouring outside and it turned out we were both heading for the Metra station. I had an umbrella, he didn’t, and I offered to share.’ She turned to me. ‘Can you get more romantic than that?’

  ‘I see what you’re saying,’ I said.

  ‘We rode the train together to the same stop. By the time we got off the train, the rain had stopped and we started to go our separate ways. He said something about how magical it had all seemed the way we met and our walk in the rain. It seemed like fate that we both had appointments in the same building the next day, and he suggested lunch.

  ‘It seemed like we made this instant connection. Like it was meant to be, so I agreed.’ By now she seemed to be lost in her own remembrances with no regard to the listener. Mikey was still asleep as we had reached the underpass that ran under Lake Shore Drive. I asked her if she wanted to turn back, but she shook her head and kept walking. The underpass led to Promontory Point. The manmade peninsula jutted out in Lake Michigan and was rimmed with a seawall made out of rows of stone blocks. At this time of year, the grass was brown and the trees empty, but the views were still spectacular.

  I doubted that Laurel was paying much attention to the scenery as she continued on with her tale. The lunch date had been wonderful and they’d agreed to meet again. I gathered that it had combusted into an intense relationship. Her face clouded over. ‘I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but he seemed to just know what I needed more than I did. I’ve never had too much luck with relationships, but I thought it had all been leading up to this. Imagine what it’s like when you feel like you’re going to be the spinster aunt and then you meet someone who turns your world around. It’s scary to me now to see how gullible I was. How can I ever trust my judgment again?’

  I gathered it was a rhetorical question and only nodded to show I was listening. We were on the path that looped around a grassy area. As we reached the outermost spot on the peninsula, the view was of open water. The mood of the lake seemed calm and reflected the deepening blue of the sky.

  ‘I should have known that when he didn’t want to meet any of my friends or family that it was a bad sign. But he said, he didn’t want to share me with anyone.’ She let out a sad-sounding sigh. ‘I was so flattered by his attention, I lost my perspective. Lewis met him once by chance. We’d gone to Gibson’s and Lewis was there with his wife and in-laws.’ Gibson’s was a famous downtown restaurant known for its steaks. ‘We stopped by their table for a few minutes and I introduced him.’

  She stopped talking suddenly and her brow furrowed. ‘What am I doing, telling you all this. I haven’t told anybody about this. It’s so embarrassing.’ The path had begun to curve back and the downtown skyline came into view.

  ‘Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger,’ I said.

  ‘You know, you’re right. No pitying looks from you.’

  ‘You’re not the first person to unload something on their mind,’ I said. ‘I tend to get involved with my clients and I guess I’m a sympathetic listener.’

  She nodded but seemed to be done with the story. It was obvious it had turned out badly and I wondered why. It had started out in such a meet-cute way, as they called it in rom-com movies, and she’d made it sound like they really got along. I couldn’t let it go without hearing the ending.

  ‘So, what happened?’ I said. I was expecting the usual-type twist that he’d cheated on her. I was hardly expecting what she told me. We were back at the underpass and went through, with cars whirling over us as our footsteps made an echoing sound.

  ‘The first time, I didn’t think anything of it. He was the kind of guy who always picked up the bill, so when he said he was waiting for a paycheck and he had to make a payment on something, I gave him the money without a second thought. He paid me back right away and I figured that was it. Then he needed some money again, but this time there was a delay in him paying it back. I didn’t really think much about it. He’d started talking about us having a life together. He traveled a lot for work, and he said he wanted to give it up and settle down with me. He painted such an appealing picture. All the things we’d do together, places we’d go. It was like a dream come true. What I’d been waiting all my life for. He had a chance to invest in the company he worked for. Then he’d be a boss and stay put. He said he had most of the money in his retirement account and just needed a loan to make up the difference. It was investing in our future. He painted an impressive picture of what it would be like. I could continue on with my jewelry and he’d be there to help with the business end, which is not my favorite part. When I talked to my financial advisor about getting the cash, he asked me about what my plans for it were. He didn’t try to talk me out of it or anything, but urged me to wait a little while. It seemed fair enough to me, but when I told my guy about the delay, he got upset and told me I was being manipulated by my financial advisor. He balked and said it felt like I didn’t trust him. He urged me to ignore my financial advisor, saying it was my money to do with as I chose. He was very convincing and I was all twisted around. But my philosophy is when in doubt, wait. I told him I couldn’t see what difference it would make if I waited a few weeks.’ She stopped as she seemed to picture the encounter in her mind.

  ‘He kept going on that I didn’t trust him and that he was deeply hurt. When I held my ground, he went ballistic. He said that if I didn’t trust him, we had no relationship, and left in a huff. I thought he was just angry and we’d be able to work it out, but that was it.’ She dipped her head. ‘I can’t believe I almost gave him the money. Just like that, he disappeared from my life. No more calls or letters.’

  When she said letters, I instinctively stopped walking.

  ‘What kind of letters?’ I asked, realizing she’d never mentioned his name.

  ‘He was gone a lot on business, and I’d get these charming notes to let me know he missed me. It was one of the things that cemented the deal with me. The letters were so romantic and not what most people do nowadays. And the things he said. I saw the moon and I thought of you. I saw the stars and I thought of you. I saw a rose and I thought of you. Everything of beauty reminds me of you and how much I long to take you in my arms.’

  I was mentally mouthing the all too familiar words as she said them. I didn’t know what to say.

  She seemed relieved to have gotten the story out. ‘I’m sure a guy like that will end up getting what he deserves,’ she said. ‘Lewis knows we’re kaput, but no details other than I’d been left. Lewis is so protective of me, I was afraid of what he’d do if he knew what had happened.’

  I was too stunned to speak, but I also couldn’t let on how I was feeling. I had a bunch of questions I would have liked to have asked. Where did he say he lived? What name did he use, and did she know that he was dead? But the o
nly thing I managed to ask was how long ago the breakup had happened. When she said it had been about a month ago, I realized something even more unsettling. I’d written a love letter for him just a week ago. It meant there had to be someone else.

  TWENTY

  Mikey didn’t stir until we got home and I was glad to have the time to think. I had to wrap my head around not only what Tony or Ted had done, but that he’d used my letters to do it. Did that mean I was an accessory? How could I have known? I really wanted to talk to somebody about it.

  The little boy finally awoke when I started pulling the stroller up the stairs to the entrance of our building. Every step meant a bump, so it wasn’t surprising. It was easier anyway, since he wanted out so he could go up the stairs himself. I folded the stroller up and followed behind him.

  The door to their apartment was open when we reached the second floor and Sara, Quentin and Ben were standing in the entranceway.

  After a quick greeting, Mikey ran off to play with his toys.

  I gave a report of his long nap in the stroller and his parents thanked me for taking care of him. Quentin’s father was back in the hospital but for now all was well.

  ‘Then I guess you don’t need me,’ Ben said. As Sara was apologizing to him for having him come over, I realized he was the best one to talk with about what I’d just found out.

  ‘As long as you’re here,’ I said, ‘there is something I’d like to discuss with you. It’s not personal,’ I added quickly. After his reaction the other night, I hoped it would put him at ease. And tamp down any expectations Sara had.

  ‘Actually,’ he said, ‘I wanted to show you some pages before I brought them to the group.’