Distract Me

by M. J. Berterman

  “Hello, stranger.” He smirked and kissed my bottom lip softly.

  He grabbed my bag from my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. We didn’t say anything, but I could feel how much he missed me just from his embrace. I looked up at him, and he kissed me harder. My legs felt weak. I was sure they were ready to give out until he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me tightly by my ass and kissed me as he walked us into his living room. My bag was tossed on the floor, and he carried me to his bedroom. His kisses felt so warm against my neck that it sent chills down my body. His apartment was quiet with just the sounds of our kisses and panted breaths. He threw me on top of his bed and hovered over me just looking into my eyes.

  “I’ve missed you.” He looked down at my chest moving heavily up and down. “You make me crazy,” he whispered against my lips as he pulled the top of my sundress to the side.

  His hand slid across the lace of my bra teasing my nipple. He licked his lips and reached behind me to unhook my bra. Arching my back off the bed, I pressed my chest against his. My breast popped free from the bra. He immediately took it in his mouth.

  “I missed you so much too.” I moaned.

  “You have no idea,” I whispered.

  “I’m going to keep you here so I can come home to this every night.” I felt his smile against my skin.

  As he pushed me further up the bed, his hands moved up and down my legs as my dress rose up above my hips. Kissing him harder, I felt heat spread through me as wetness poured between my legs. He kissed down my stomach to my sex covered in lace. My fingers ripped through his hair as he teased my clit through the fabric. He sensed I couldn’t hold on any longer, so he pulled my thong off and tossed it to the floor.

  “Ryder.” I moaned as his tongue massaged hard against me.

  He felt warm as he flicked and sucked me. Spreading my legs further apart for him, he pulled my hips harder against his mouth.

  “Ryder, I’m going to come, baby.” My orgasm was fiercely building up, and I was going to explode any second.

  “Mmm…” He hummed against me, and it sent me over the edge.

  My body shook against him. He held me still until I was able to open my eyes from my orgasm. Smiling, he wiped his lips as he pulled his shirt off.

  “I want more of you,” he said as he slid out of his jeans.

  I sat up, pulled my wrinkled sundress off, and threw it on the floor with Ryder’s clothes. He climbed on top of me and kissed my neck—his favorite spot.

  “Show me.” I reached down and stroked him. He was so hard that I could feel him throbbing with each stroke.

  “I have to be inside you.” He moaned into my neck.

  Kissing him hard, I wrapped my legs around his body as he thrust inside me.

  The sounds of sirens and red flashing lights woke me from a deep sleep. I jumped up from the bed in a panic and looked out the window. A fire truck and two police cars flew past the streets below. Grabbing my chest, I watched until they disappeared. Ryder was still sleeping peacefully with the sheet wrapped around him. One in the morning, the clock read above his dresser. My throat felt dry, so I put Ryder’s shirt on and walked to his kitchen for a glass of water and maybe something light to eat. My stomach was growling again. His shirt was so big on me. I pulled it to my face to smell his scent. I couldn’t get enough of him. The small stove light was on which helped me find everything without turning the lights on. I poured a small glass of water and looked in his fridge for a snack. A yogurt was toward the back, so I reached in to grab it.

  “What the fuck?” I screamed as I felt hands grab my ass.

  I jumped up and hit my head on the top shelf.

  “Shit...ouch.” I rubbed my head and looked back to see Ryder standing behind me covering his growing smile.

  “You scared me,” I yelled.

  “I didn’t mean it.” He grabbed his chest, leaned down, and kissed my head.

  “Forgive me, and I’ll make it up to you.” He grinned.

  Smiling, I sat the yogurt down on the counter.

  “I know you will.” I peeled the lid off the yogurt and took a bite. It was so good and just what I needed for my hunger pains.

  He sat on top of the counter and watched me.

  “Thanks, I was starving.” I threw the empty yogurt cup in the trash, and then walked over to him and stood between his legs.

  “You gave me a workout last night.” He played with my hair.

  “I got my cardio in too.” I smiled and made a muscle.

  “Well, I hope you have your energy back.” He laughed and played with my nipple through his shirt.

  “This shirt looks better on you.” He rubbed me harder.

  I blushed as my nipple hardened under his finger.

  Wrapping my arms around him, I laid my head on his chest.

  “So I forgot, what did you do Friday when you got back and yesterday after I left?” I asked.

  I hoped he would just tell me who Piper was so I didn’t have to dig around for an answer.

  “I flew in from Philadelphia. Came home to clean up before I decided to meet you at the pub, but I ran into you on the street instead...thank God.” He rubbed my shoulders.

  I sighed. He wasn’t going to tell me.

  “How was yesterday? Did dinner with your family go well?” he asked.

  “It did.” I paused. “It was very nice. Not anything I expected it to be,” I added.

  “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t just sadness for you.” He squeezed me tighter and lifted my chin up to look at him.

  “Chase and his wife, Delilah, made a DVD of photos of her with all her favorite songs. It was beautiful, and my dad loved it too.” I continued, and he smiled.

  “That’s something you can watch every year or every time you need to see her. I’m sure your mom was smiling down at the way your family remembered her.” I hugged him tighter.

  “I hope so. I miss her so much.” I played with the collar of his shirt that I wore.

  “Does your family do anything special for your sister every year?” I asked.

  “No, they don’t...mostly my parents pretend it never happened or pretend she never existed.” He rubbed my back.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine being able to do that.” I placed my fingers against my lips in shock.

  “I guess everyone has their own way of dealing with things.” He frowned and pushed himself off the countertop to his feet.

  My eyes followed him as he walked down the hall to his bedroom. I followed him. We laid there in silence in his bed, so I just stared into his eyes.

  “When did she die?” I asked because I needed to know more about her.

  “Fifteen years ago yesterday.” He squeezed my hand.

  My eyes started tearing up immediately. I had no idea that yesterday was a battle for him too. We were pulled together in more ways than I thought. He shifted in bed and laid on his back with his hands tucked under his head. Watching him stare up at the ceiling, I wished I could read his thoughts.

  “I’m sorry, Ryder. I had no idea.” I rubbed his chest.

  “You couldn’t have. I don’t talk about it.” His voice was low and almost unrecognizable.

  “What was she like?” I asked but not sure if he would answer me or not.

  I laid my head against his chest and listened to his breathing.

  “She was amazing, funny, smart, and beautiful. She was my baby sister.” He sounded almost cheerful speaking of her.

  I tried hard not to cry. I wanted him to share more with me without worrying about comforting me at the same time. This was about him right now, not me. Clenching my jaw tight, I waited for him to continue but he didn’t.

  “So she wanted to be an actress. Is that what she was moving to California to do?” I rubbed circles on his ab muscles, but he was so still.

  “Yes, she loved the spotlight.” He grinned. “We grew up making home videos of plays she would write. Of course, I would have to dress up and pla
y a part, but I didn’t mind if it made her happy.” He smiled, and I smiled back. “She did theater through high school, which my father wasn’t thrilled about.” There was a light in his eyes that I’d never seen before when he talked about her. “He wanted her to study something that he considered a career, like he did with accounting or business.” He frowned. “Theater takes a lot of talent. I know I couldn’t do it because it takes more than just book smarts...it takes personality, so I’m sure she was very talented.” I said as he pushed the hair behind my ear. “She was very talented, so she made the decision to move to California to have more resources but her boyfriend of two years didn’t agree with her decision.” His hands tightened, and I saw his jaw tense.

  I looked down at his chest and saw his breathing quicken.

  “She told him it would be best if they broke up because she needed to focus on her career in California...” He paused briefly but then continued.

  “He pleaded with her not to go, but she disagreed. She had plans, big ones. No one was going to get in the way of that. She was so happy.” He rubbed his temples. “So he invited her out for a goodbye, a parting ways dinner.” His voice grew shaky.

  I swallowed because I knew where this was going and it was hard for me to hear.

  “I knew it wasn’t a good idea for her to go that night, and I told Liv not to go, but she thought I was being silly and overprotective.” He rubbed his eyebrows. “He took her life that night.” He swallowed. “He killed her because he was selfish. He took her dreams away, and he took a piece of my heart that night.” Tears fell down his face. “He got forty fucking years for it too.” He added.

  I reached up, wiped his cheek, and kissed his lips. They tasted salty.

  “He’s a sick man and what he did will never be explained or accepted...your sister sounded liked an amazing woman.” My voice was soft with compassion.

  “You carry her with you here, every day. She’s still with you.” I tapped his chest over his heart.

  “Thanks, Adi.” He smiled.

  I kissed him and held tight to him for a few minutes.

  “Maybe we can see a movie later today?” I asked.

  He looked confused.

  “Like something for your sister?” I asked.

  “I would like that a lot.” His eyes lit up, and he rubbed my hand in his.

  “I would too,” I said.

  “Why are you so perfect, Adi? Your heart is just so full, and I sometimes swear you’re too good for me.” He sat up against the headboard and studied me.

  “My heart is missing a piece too, so I understand.” I played with the thread on the sheet.

  I wanted to tell him that he makes things better for me and that since I’ve met him, I’ve been distracted from the pain that once filled my heart, but I just couldn’t say the words. It was too soon. He ran his finger down my neck.

  “Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you.” He pulled a small box from his side table.

  It had a little red bow perched on top. My cheeks were as red as the bow.

  “This is for me?” I asked as he handed me the small box.

  “No, the girl behind you.” He laughed.

  “Thank you.” I rolled my eyes.

  As I played with the small box in my hand, my fingers felt shaky peeling off the tiny bow. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him getting me something so soon. We were moving so fast, and I was afraid of how hard I was crashing into this man. My mouth dropped open when I opened the box.

  “Her necklace,” I whispered as my hand flew to my chest.

  “How did you get this?” I asked as I took it from the box and immediately unhooked the clasp.

  “I contacted Trent and met him at the pub before I got home tonight.” He took it from me and placed it around my neck.

  My fingers played with the charm, but I noticed it felt different. A little heavier.

  “What’s this?” I looked down at my charm and noticed a tiny purple amethyst stone lying against it. It was beautiful and the perfect size to not overpower my mom’s charm.

  “It’s beautiful, thank you so much!” I jumped on top of him and kissed him hard.

  He kissed me back, and I got lost in him again.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The weekend went by fast, and I was already missing it and him. I thought about Sunday morning breakfast with Ryder. He cooked everything because he wasn’t sure what my favorite breakfast food was. But I was never a breakfast eater, so I just ate a yogurt, scrambled eggs, and a piece of turkey bacon. It was the thought that counted. He joked I ate like a bird, but I didn’t think so.

  We saw an early matinee movie. It was nice to see Ryder relaxed and talking about Liv most of the day. She was an amazing sister. I loved hearing of the stories from his childhood and her passion for art. He talked a lot about her and his best friend Jake that he did everything with. Those three sounded like so much fun growing up.

  We both settled on the movie The Avengers: Age of Ultron. He held my hand the entire movie, and I couldn’t help but think of dirty thoughts as we sat in the dark movie theater, but we didn’t do anything more than an occasional kiss.

  We stopped at a cute busy diner for lunch, but I couldn’t finish my meal, so I brought the leftovers home for Mariella after Ryder dropped me off on his way into his office. He had to take care of a few things that popped up when he was out of town. Mariella was home which was rare that she didn’t have an event to photograph, so we watched old movies on the couch and snacked for the rest of the day. Ryder and I texted until we fell asleep last night. Nights away from him were becoming harder than I thought. I don’t know how I became so clingy to a man I just started dating, but we were moving a lot faster than any other guy I’ve dated before, which scared the hell out of me.

  It was so quiet in school today. I had a few parent conferences early this morning, but other than that, I caught up on all of my grading and the end of the year curriculum review. Janie was out today with a stomach bug, so I didn’t have anyone to make small talk with or to make the hours pass quickly since the kids were home. It was only two in the afternoon, but it felt more like four. I sighed and considered ducking out early and calling Ryder. I was hoping to stay over at his apartment again. Closing my folder, I grabbed my bag from my desk but stopped when I saw someone standing in my doorway.

  “Hey, Trent! Come in.” I smiled at him. I felt guilty because it was probably one of the friendlier greetings I had ever given him.

  He was missing most of the day, so I didn’t get the chance to thank him in person for finding my necklace. It meant so much to me that he found it.

  “Hey, Adi. How was your weekend?” he asked.

  “It was really nice.” My cheeks flushed at the events of my weekend.

  I grabbed my necklace, and his eyes darted to my chest.

  “I see you got your necklace back from Ryder,” he said.

  “Yes, thank you so much for meeting him. I was so happy to have it back, and I really cannot thank you enough for finding it.” Keeping space between us, I gave him a quick hug.

  I stepped back to my desk and began shuffling through my papers.

  “It looks beautiful on you.” I put my papers down and looked up at him.

  “It was my mother’s necklace, and it means the world to me.” I gave him a weak smile, and he smiled back.

  “I know what you mean.” He pulled the cuff of his shirt up and tapped his gold watch.

  “It was my grandfather’s watch, and I wear it every day.” He rubbed the band.

  “Your grandfather had amazing taste, and it looks great on you.” I leaned over to get a better look.

  He was quiet and played with the links on his watch.

  “Yeah, he helped raise me since it was just my mom and me after my father left us, so he taught me everything I know.” He paused, and I saw him swallow hard.

  “Well, I’m sure he would be so proud of what a great teacher and man you are today.” I could tell this
was hard for him, so I placed my hand on his shoulder. We didn’t say anything more as we looked at his watch, and I held my necklace tightly in my fingers. We had an understanding that we each felt comfort in just a small material piece of a person we had lost.

  “Trent, if you ever need to talk, I’m always a couple doors down the hall.” I patted his arm.

  I would have never given him an open invitation to come into my room before, but I didn’t realize we had so much in common before this moment. He could be a great friend but nothing more because I didn’t feel a spark the way I did with Ryder.

  “Thanks, Adi. I appreciate that.” He covered his watch with his cuff and shrugged.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow and maybe you, Janie, and I can grab lunch.” I placed my papers in my bag.

  “I would like that.” He smirked.

  He walked out of my room and for the first time, I felt comfort from his visit.

  Placing my phone in my bag, I saw it was now almost three. The afternoon had flown by. It was such a beautiful day in the city. Summer was approaching, and it made the air smell fresh. Instead of going home right away, I decided to walk through the city. I hadn’t had a peaceful walk in a while, and I needed it. Central park was beautiful at the end of May. The trees were so full of new color. I looked around taking in the sounds of people passing by with small talk and laughter. The feeling of fullness filled my chest, and I felt that I had made a step toward being myself again. I was happy.

  The apartment was a mess, and Mariella wasn’t home yet.

  “At the park taking some family photos today,” I read from the small note on the fridge.

  It was odd that I didn’t see her there earlier, but after all, it was a big park and running into people was by chance. I began cleaning up the apartment as my music filled the room. “Stay” by Rihanna played through the room, and I sang word for word with each sweep of my Swiffer mop. Hours passed, and I checked my phone, but there was nothing new to read—no texts, calls or emails. That was weird. I opened a new message and texted Mariella that I would make dinner if she would be home late. Opening a new one for Ryder, I texted him a short message too.