Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1)

by Fabiola Francisco

  We take our seats and release the tension and stress that’s been weighing on us since we left Portland. I close my eyes and dose off as the plane takes off.

  We land in Dallas for our layover, and this flight seems to have been much faster than on the way there. We don’t have a long layover so we grab two coffees and sit by the gate to wait.

  “So… What are your plans for the weekend?” Grayson asks me timidly like if we were in middle school and he were trying to ask me out for the first time. It’s adorable. He pushes his fingers through his hair nervously waiting for me to answer.

  “Well, I thought I’d spend time with Steph,” I begin, and his nerves become more visible but I continue. This could be fun. “You know, go out with her to some club, have a few drinks, find myself a cowboy to take home. The usual.” I wink, and I see a devilish smile spread across his face, all his confidence back.

  “Well, I guess I’ll show up to be that cowboy you take home.”

  “Who said it would be you?” I challenge.

  “Because I’m the best you’ve ever had.” He stares at me, daring me to say otherwise, so cocky and sure of himself. It’s true though; he is the best I’ve ever had. That’s why no one else came close to him after the first time we slept together. I also know that has to do with the feelings he brought out in me.

  “Same way I’m the best you’ve ever had. Don’t forget it.”

  “Trust me, I won’t.” He winks at me, and I squirm in my seat. His hand is on my thigh teasing me relentlessly. Between hs hand on my leg and having him look at me like that, it makes me want to rip his clothes off no matter where we are. “We can grab a few drinks with Steph and Kyle if you want. I know you haven’t seen her in a few days and you must be having withdrawals.” He jokes.

  “Very funny. We don’t have to though. We can stay in and just hang out and relax. I know it’s been hectic for you. I can see her at yoga tomorrow or something.”

  “Yoga?” He looks at me in disbelief. “Since when do you do yoga?”

  “Did I not mention that? I’ve been going for a few weeks now. It’s really helped me sort through things.”

  “Sweet. You can become more flexible and use some of those moves on me.” I laugh, like laugh so loud people begin to stare because I can’t believe he just said that, and he sounds like a horny 18 year old. He starts to laugh, too and asks, “What? I’ve seen some of those poses; they’re intense. You’ll have to give me a private lesson later on.”

  “Okay, okay.” I say trying to gasp for air.

  “I love hearing you laugh. We’ll go out for a bit. It’ll be good to get out and see them.”

  “Okay.” I say evening out my breath. “I’ll wait to tell Steph though in case you change your mind. It’s okay if you do.”

  “Mia, I’m okay. I promise. Yes, I’m sad, but I’ll survive. It’s a shitty situation, but it is what it is. I can always go and visit the house, keep an eye on the horses. It’ll help me feel closer to him.”

  “Okay. Good. Remember you aren’t alone.” I keep reminding him of this like I’m afraid he thinks I’ll run from him or something.

  “I know. And I love you for that, but life goes on. It makes it easier having you by my side.” I smile at him and we sit in silence until they call our flight to Portland.

  This flight seems even faster than the one to Dallas. It’s like the wind was pushing us forward, pushing us home. We step out of the plane and I notice Grayson take a deep breath. He looks relieved. Maybe being back home in South Carolina was more emotional than I thought. I know seeing his mom was difficult.

  “It’s good to be home.” He says as he grabs my hand and leads us out to the parking lot. Grayson had left his car parked here so we wouldn’t have to wait for a cab. It’s a warm afternoon, but there’s a cool breeze flowing; so different than the humidity of the South. We walk towards his SUV and climb in.

  Grayson drops me off, and we make plans to go for drinks later on. I begin to unpack and grab my phone to call Steph. I haven’t spoken to her since I left and I know she’s dying to know what’s going on. I kept it simple when I told her I was going with Grayson to South Carolina for his brother’s funeral. She tried to ask a bunch of questions, but I cut her off. She’s going to be pissed if I don’t call her and give her details.

  “It’s about damn time you call me back! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the last two days. I gave you some space to help Grayson in the beginning, but you could’ve called after the funeral was over. Spill it.” I gotta love her greeting because it’s so Steph. I can’t help but laugh.

  “It’s nice to talk to you, too.”

  “Cut the bullshit, Mia, and get to the good part. You didn’t go all the way to South Carolina because he’s a friend. So did you do the dirty?”

  “Seriously? That’s how you’re going to ask me if I had sex?” I laugh. “Yes, I did, if you must know.” I lay down on my bed ready to spill.

  “Finally! It’s about damn time you two get your heads out of your asses and admit what you feel.”

  “Wait. I didn’t say we’re together. You asked if we had sex and I said yes.”

  “You’re not?” She says in disbelief. “But I thought you realized you had feelings for him and this would be the perfect time to-” I burst out laughing cutting her off. “You’re such a bitch, Mia. You had me going there. You guys are together!”

  “Sorry. It would be too easy to let you assume and be right. Yes, Steph, we spoke about everything and we are trying things out, day by day.” I emphasize.

  “I’m happy for you. It’s about time you listen to me and let someone into your heart. Now we can double date!” She says sounding so corny I laugh at her.

  “Yeah, yeah. Are you going to get all therapist on me or do you want to go grab some drinks later with us? Tell Kyle I expect him there!”

  “Sounds good. Where are you guys going?

  “Let’s meet at Lotus Brewery at 7:00 pm.”

  “Okay. I can’t wait to see you! I’ve missed you. You can never leave for that long again without me.”

  Smiling I say, “Steph, I was gone for five days.”

  “I know, but I see you every day. Those five days were eternal. Not to mention, you were away with Grayson and I was going crazy dying to know what was going on. Poor Kyle, I drove him crazy, too. I kept asking him if he had heard from Grayson.”

  I laugh at her because there’s nothing else to do. I know what Steph is like when she wants information and doesn’t get it. She can be a total pain in the ass.

  “I’ll see you later, psycho.” I joke and hang up to send Grayson a quick text letting him know we’re meeting Steph and Kyle at Lotus at 7:00 pm.

  I stay on my bed reflecting on the past few days, the past few weeks. I’m happy. Actually, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. I feel free to be myself. I feel free from the weights I was carrying around. I’m glad my dad told me about my mom’s upbringing. It makes more sense. It’s peaceful knowing I can move forward and have learned to let go of the burden I’ve been carrying comparing myself to other’s and their mistakes, especially her.

  I’m still working on completely forgiving my mom for all the crap she did, but I’m taking it from a different perspective. I’m being compassionate and trying to understand the reasons as to why people do the things they do instead of spending my days blaming. I’ve learned to let go of that blame and resentment I was holding onto for so many people in my past. I’ve decided to accept what is and learn from it because that is what has brought me to where I am right now. That is what has made me happy. It hasn’t been an easy ride, but how I feel right now makes it totally worth it.

  I head to the shower to get ready for tonight. I am happy to see Steph. I’ve missed her, too, even if I didn’t make it seem like that over the phone. I get ready, putting on a pair of jeans, a purple tank top, and sandals. I grab a jacket since the evenings cool down a bit and leave my hair down, letting the waves f
all around me. I’m applying mascara and lip gloss when Grayson knocks on my door.

  I open and smile up at him. I know he dropped me off a few hours ago, yet I can’t help but feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. He’s wearing jeans, a blue t-shirt emphasizing his perfect body, and his signature cowboy boots. His hair is combed back and his eyes are sparkling blue like the ocean during sunset.

  “Hey, Sweet Pea. Are you ready?”

  “No.” I state very matter-of-fact. “Aren’t you going to kiss me first?” He smiles, shaking his head, and pulls me in for a deep kiss grabbing my ass.

  “I’ll never get tired of doing that.” He says as he releases me.

  “Good. Now let’s go before I change my mind and keep you here.”

  Laughing, he says, “I wouldn’t turn it down, but I think Steph would kill me if I keep you away from her. Kyle told me he drove her crazy while we were away.”

  “Yup. Steph gets crazy sometimes.”

  “Well, we better get going or she’ll have my head on a platter by the time we arrive. We’ll have plenty of time later to make up for it,” he winks at me grinning mischievously.

  We walk into Lotus and find Steph and Kyle sitting at a table. As soon as Steph spots us, she runs and wraps me in a hug. I hug her back, laughing.

  “I missed you!” She shrieks pulling back. “You, too, Grayson, but my girl comes first.”

  “No hard feelings,” Grayson says walking towards Kyle. “Girls.” I hear him say to Kyle as they shake hands.

  “I missed you too, Steph. Now let’s get a drink and relax.”

  “You two look happy.” She states. “It’s good to see.”

  “Thanks. I am happy.”

  We take our seats, order drinks, and talk about different things, keeping the conversation casual. I know Steph and Kyle don’t want to upset Grayson by mentioning his brother and the trip since it wasn’t exactly for pleasure. We make fun of Steph’s obsessive behavior while we were in South Carolina. Kyle pretends it bothered him, but I can tell it did anything but annoy him. He looks at her with adoration and I know they’re in it for the long haul.

  “Anyone up for a game of darts?” Grayson asks. He looks happy. It’s good to see him enjoying himself. I was hesitant about coming out at first, but I guess it’s better than being home mulling and trying to figure out why things happen.

  “I’m down,” Kyle says. “Mia, you up for a little friendly competition? I’m better at darts than foosball.” He’s grinning but I can see the challenge. Kyle can be as competitive as me, and that says a lot.

  “Sorry, Kyle. Unfortunately I can’t play darts.” Darts is one of those games I’ve never been good at. I guess my aim stinks.

  “Even better. I can kick your ass.”

  “I’ll teach you.” Grayson has my attention, and the thought of him standing so close behind me, guiding my arm makes me squirm.

  “Are you as good at darts as you are at foosball?” I joke.

  “I’m better.” He says confidently. It’s hot. “Let’s play. Steph you in?”

  “Sure,” she says seemingly unexcited. I know Steph isn’t much into games but she gives it a try anyways.

  The guys grab the darts at the bar and we head towards the darts machine and start inputting our names. We begin playing. Kyle goes first since he threw closest to the bullseye. I don’t really understand the game, but when it’s my turn Grayson tells me to try to hit somewhere along the twenty since it’s straight ahead and should be the easiest. I try to aim and throw, missing the board completely. I hear Kyle laugh behind me and I scowl at him. It doesn’t help that I am super competitive and hate it when I am not an apt competitor.

  Grayson stands behind me. “Ignore him. Let me help you.” He closes the gap between us, places his left hand on my waist and with his right arm grabs mine and guides the dart to the board. “Relax and keep your eyes where you want the dart to hit. Don’t curve your arm when you throw. Try to keep it as straight and steady as you can.”

  It’s hard to concentrate when I have him so close breathing into my neck, and I can feel all of him behind me, and when I say all I mean all. My breath hitches and he lets out a small chuckle. He knows what he’s doing. I can’t focus on the dartboard or the dart in my hand, only on having him so close to me and I feel desire pooling in my core.

  “Are you trying to make me to lose? Because I have to say I can’t focus on anything but you behind me. It’s very distracting.” I whisper just for him to hear and push back into him. He coughs, trying to cover up and guides my hand towards the board before I can even react. It lands right under the twenty. I’m not sure what it means but he looks pleased with himself so it must be a good shot.

  “Good shot, Sweet Pea.” He winks at me. “We make a pretty good team.”

  “We sure do. I’ll show you how good of a team we make when we get home.” I wink back and laugh.

  “You better keep that promise.” He pulls me closer to him, face to face, and I can feel him hard beneath his jeans. It drives me crazy, and if I didn’t have self-control, I would do something about it right here.

  “I will. Now let’s finish this game so we can go. You’re driving me crazy.”

  “Same goes for you walking around with those tight jeans.” He slaps my ass. “Can’t wait to take them off later.” He says with a wink and turns his attention back to Kyle and Steph. This man is challenging and I love it. We continue to play. I lose interest half way and sit back with Steph as the guys continue their game. It’s close, but Grayson ends up winning. He was right when he said he was good.

  We head home, and Grayson asks if I mind going to his house instead of mine. I eye him suspiciously because my apartment is closer and we’ve had a few beers but agree. I go straight to the bathroom when we arrive. When I walk out into the living area Grayson is nowhere to be found. I check his room but he’s not there either. I walk back out to the living area. His house is an open concept, so I can see the kitchen and bar area from the living room.

  I notice the back door is open, leading out to his patio, and I walk outside. It is dark, especially since he lives a little ways out of the city center and trees surround his home. I squint my eyes looking around the patio allowing them to adjust to the darkness and finally spot him lying on the ground. I walk up to him, confused. “What are you doing out here?” I notice he’s on a blanket.

  “I thought we’d lie out here for a bit and look up at the stars. It’s so peaceful, and away from the city lights the stars are more visible.” He looks at me expectantly and I lie down next to him.

  “Since when did you become all romantic?” I look up at the starry sky and it’s breathtaking. I see hundreds of small white spots covering the raven sky like sparkling diamonds. Grayson pulls out his phone and I notice he has an app open. It looks like some kind of solar system map with stars and planets.

  “Every once in a while I can be romantic.” He says as his fingers search for mine in the darkness and lace themselves in mine. He lets out a content sigh and continues to stare up at the sky. “This app shows the different stars and the constellations. That one over there is the big dipper.” He points at the sky with our fingers still knotted together, and I can see the same pattern on his phone that I see in the sky. “That one is Orion’s Belt. And that bright one is Mars.” He keeps talking about his finds on his phone and pointing them out in the vast sky shining above us.

  All I can see is his silhouette in the darkness, but he still looks so perfect in the dark shadows. “I want to meet your dad.” He says without looking my way interrupting my analysis of his perfect face and putting his phone down. He wants to meet my dad? Why? I feel my breath quicken and a chill run down my spine. I try to even out my breath but I’m failing. I don’t want him to get the wrong impression that I don’t think we have a future, but this is sudden, fast and I’m kind of freaking out.

  He keeps talking. He must notice my freak out. “You said he wanted to meet me, and I want to than
k him for bringing you back to me. Relax,” he says finally looking at me. I can imagine my wide eyes staring back at him, and I feel myself chewing my bottom lip anxiously. His hand reaches up and releases my lip from between my teeth. “This isn’t a marriage proposal. Breathe. I just want to meet him. Since you had mentioned he wanted to meet the person who made you happy, I thought you’d be okay with it. We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet. There will be plenty of time for me to meet him.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’m just…” Breathe in and out, slowly, three, two, one. “I was just surprised I guess. I’m still new at this. Is it too soon?” I’m still trying to even out my breath and he gives my hand a gentle squeeze, but I hear his disappointment when he speaks.

  “I’m new at this, too. I don’t know what is too soon or perfect timing. All I know is what feels right. Who says there are specific rules to follow when it comes to love? It felt right so I brought it up. It’s not like either one of us are keen on following the rules. All I know is that I’m in love with you, Mia, and I want to know all of you. Your dad’s a part of your life, so I would like to meet him.” He’s lying on his side propping himself up with his elbow looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

  “You’re right. Sorry. You know I feel the same way but all of this is new for me; bringing people into my life, letting them into my world, allowing them see the good and bad. He does want to meet you, and I want you to. Maybe we can go tomorrow. I’ll call him in the morning.” My breathing has finally evened out. I do want to be with Grayson. I do love him and want him in my life, but I’m still working on opening myself up and trusting. Not that I think Grayson isn’t trustworthy or would intentionally hurt me, but shit happens. How many people are head over heels in love just to end up divorced and hurting each other. I’m taking it day by day, letting go of my past and other people’s relationships, and focusing on the now being fully present with Grayson.

  “Only if you’re sure you’re ready for this. I don’t want to push you. I’ll wait until you’re ready, no matter how long that takes.” I know there’s a double meaning to his words. Not only about meeting my dad, but me being ready to move forward, take bigger steps in our relationship.