一地鸡毛

by Liu Zhenyun

  His wife grumbles: “At first I thought every commuter had an equal right to the shuttle bus and it showed that our head cared for us. Who would have believed it was because of his sister-in-law? I’ll have to think of her every time I use the bus, won’t I?”

  He answers: “There’s no way out! It’s clear—you wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the bus without that sister-in-law!”

  His wife says: “I feel awkward, like a second-class citizen, when riding that bus.”

  He reproaches her: “You are still as naive as when you first graduated from university; What do you mean by second-class citizen? It’s not that bad. Let me just ask you this: Isn’t it better than a crowded public bus, even if it is associated with the head’s sister-in-law?”

  His wife admits: “Well, it is.”

  He continues: “Besides, it is not just you benefiting from this special relationship. Let me ask you again: Isn’t the shuttle bus full of people every day?”

  His wife answers: “Oh yes, it’s always full. It’s no credit to any of us!”

  He rejoins: “No one else seems to be as principled as you are. Very well, then, you can go by public transport. Also, didn’t you once try to curry favour for a job transfer? You were even stopped from entering the corridor with the present you were trying to bribe people with.”

  His wife counters: “I just want to have a little grumble, but you’ve kept babbling on. I suppose what you’ve just said is true. Under these circumstances, what use is strength of character? No damn use at all so I’ll simply enjoy the shuttle bus each day without thinking more about it.”

  Young Lin claps his hands: “That’s it!” His wife then starts being happy.

  But the second event is not as smooth. Finding a nursery for their child is not easy. There is no nursery in Young Lin’s work unit, and while there is one at his wife’s place of work, it is too far from home for a small child to travel each day. So they must find one closer. There are quite a few nurseries around—one of them is run by another work unit, one by the district government, one by a street committee, one by a neighbourhood committee and a private nursery run by several old women. The best is run by the work unit, for it has qualified pre-school teachers on the staff. The others are poorly-run. They lead the children in files along the streets and that is all. The worst is the one run by the old women who got together to earn money as their main motive. The child’s eduction is an issue which concerns the next generation, so Young Lin’s wife regards it as even more important than her own job transfer. She pressurizes him to apply to the nursery run by the other work unit, adding that the second choice should be the one run by the district government. The rest will not be taken into consideration at all.

  At first, Young Lin underestimated the difficulties. He thought it would be easy to find a nursery for the child—she needs only to stay there for two years before leaving for primary school—not a big problem. But he had learned from his past experience of making rash promises and later being nagged at by his wife when he failed to realise them. So he just said:

  “Let me go and talk it over with the people concerned. I’m not in any leading position. Who knows whether they’ll take any notice of me. You can’t make too many rigid conditions on the place we want to send her to!”

  Their neighbour opposite, the “Indian” woman, also has a child about the same age as theirs, and Young Lin’s wife hears that they have found a place for their child, in just the one they wanted, the one run by the other work unit. In the light of this, his wife says to him: “Why can’t I make conditions? I have to! That nursery is the only one we want. Their child will go to that one, so ours must go there as well. Don’t bother with the nursery run by the district government.”

  Thus the job of getting his daughter into nursery school falls to Young Lin, and he finds it more difficult than arranging his wife’s job transfer. First of all he investigates the situation. The nursery of the other unit is really well-run, winning municipal awards for years. Some leading members of the district government send their grandchildren to this nursery even though their own nursery has spaces. This work unit nursery, however, imposes strict limits on admission numbers. Without powerful influence it would be impossible to get a child into it. The admission forms are in the hands of the nursery principal. No form will be released unless written instructions are issued by the head of a bureau or an even higher authority of the unit. Young Lin racks his brains trying to remember any of his former classmates in Beijing who has some influence with this unit, but cannot think of one.

  A man will try anything when he is desperate. Failing to find anyone who can help him, he suddenly thinks of the old man who repairs bicycles at their gate. Young Lin is a frequent customer there. He always addresses the old man as “Grandpa” and the two of them are very close. When he has no money on him, he can have his bike repaired first and pay for it later. During a casual chat Young Lin has learned that the old man’s daughter works as a nurse in a nearby nursery. Could that be the one run by the other work unit? Thinking of this possibility, he becomes excited. He gets on his bicycle, and goes off to the bicycle repairman right away. If the daughter is working in that nursery, she can provide an opening by giving him some inside information, even though she is just an ordinary nurse. The old man is very warm-hearted and straightforward. After Young Lin’s explanation, he makes promises on behalf of his daughter, saying that all he needs to do is to ask and it will be done,

  for sure. However the nursery his daughter works for is not the one run by the other unit, but by the neighbourhood committee. Young Lin feels disheartened. He reports the situation to his wife when she returns home. She first blames him for not having useful connections, and then suggests: “Let’s prepare a generous gift costing about seventy or eighty yuan for the nursery principal and see whether that works or not. How does the ‘Indian’ child opposite get admitted? The father doesn’t appear to have any special ability, so they must have given gifts!”

  Shaking his hand, Young Lin says: “We haven’t even met the principal yet. We know nothing about her. How can we offer her anything? Have you forgotten our humiliation when we tried to give a present to the head in charge of personnel?”

  His wife flares up: “You haven’t any influence; you can’t give gifts. What can you do?”

  Young Lin replies: “We can use the nursery where the bicycle repairman’s daughter works. Let it go at that! What does education mean to a three-year-old child? Shaoshan was a poor village, but it produced the late Chairman Mao! It is the child herself that really matters!”

  His wife gets more angry and says that he can’t be so irresponsible towards their child. If the child stays with the repairman’s daughter, she would only know how to repair bikes when she grows up. “Young Lin, you have not even met the principal yet. How can you be so sure that our child will not be admitted?” Those words encourage him and he plucks up courage and decides to go to see the principal immediately, with no intermediate person and without taking any gift. He plans to explain his difficulty to the principal and see if he can win the principal’s sympathy. On his way, Young Lin tries to comfort himself: in China things are complicated. A total stranger may get things done without any gift. Even if you have some influence or acquaintances, sometimes the things may get complicated. People might feel envious of others and the things turn out to be unsussessful. What’s the matter with a stranger? Chances are a stranger may feel sympathetic to you. Isn’t there any kind person in the world? Perhaps here you can meet one. However, he realizes his thoughts are all too naive when he meets the principal.

  The principal is an elderly woman, over fifty years old. She is kind, but her reply is a clear-cut refusal. This nursery does not take in any children outside the work unit, she says. They do not even have enough places for the unit’s children. Will the unit’s employees keep quiet if they admit children outside the unit? But, she adds, there may be exceptions. The nursery is going to have capital co
nstruction but has not got a quota. If he can help them acquire one, his child can be admitted.

  This makes him lose heart. He cannot even cope with his own problems, so how can he help with getting capital construction quotas? Crestfallen, he returns to report to his wife and unexpectedly finds a great disturbance at home. Trouble of another kind has broken out. The childminder has learned about their efforts to find a nursery for their child, which means she will lose her job. She blames them for not letting her know in advance. So to gain the upper hand, she decides to leave immediately. Young Lin’s wife thinks she is unreasonable. “The chile is mine. Why do I have to tell you whether she is going to nursery or not? Are you not being vengeful by leaving before we find a place?” The two of them start a quarrel, and Young Lin’s wife demands the childminder’s immediate departure. Not prepared to humble herself either, the childminder starts packing at once. When he gets home, she is about to leave. As his efforts to find a good nursery have not gone smoothly, they can’t cope if the childminder leaves right now. He tries to persuade her to stay. His wife stops him:

  “Let her go! I’ll see whether the sky will fall down just because she goes away!”

  He has no choice, but his daughter loves her childminder and when she sees her leaving, the girl rolls on the floor crying. The childminder also loves her charge so she hurries over to give her a cuddle before she leaves. Once she is gone, his wife begins to cry. She feels conscience-stricken as the childminder has taken care of the child for over two years. She asks him to hurry to the balcony and throw down another month’s salary for her.

  The childminder’s absence throws the Lins’ home into confusion. No nursery has been found and the couple now have to ask for leave and look after their daughter in turn. Young Lin’s wife blames the childminder for having caused so much trouble and her husband for being incapable of finding a nursery. He argues:

  “They want a capital construction quota in exchange. The head of my office might not be able to get it, let alone me.”

  He adds: “I don’t think we should make matters worse. I admit I’m incapable. If our daughter can’t go to that nursery, we will have to let her go to the one where the bicycle repairman’s daughter works. After all, lots of children are there.”

  Faced with the situation, his wife starts to relent a little. They cannot go on asking for leave for long. The next day, the husband and wife visit the nursery where the bicycle repairman’s daughter works. Their first impression is not bad, although it can not compare with the one run by the unit, but it is clean. Dozens of children play in the rooms and there is a piano in it. It is far away from busy roads as well. Seeing his wife is silent afterwards, Young Lin knows she has basically agreed and he feels relieved.

  Once home they put together the equipment the child needs to take to her nursery—clothing, pillows, bowls, spoon, cup, handkerchiefs—as if they are sending their daughter on an expedition. His wife sheds tears again:

  “Your parents are incapable, so you have to go to the neighbourhood nursery. From now on, you will have to take care of yourself the best you can!”

  The child is then given a medical check-up and is ready to go the next day when there comes a surprise turn of events—their daughter can go to the unit’s nursery! Of course it is not due to the efforts of Young Lin. It is the “Indian” woman’s husband who unexpectedly helps them. There is a knock at the door in the evening, and he is standing there. They do not know what work he is actually doing. All they know is that he dresses up in a smart suit with a tie every day and rides a motorbike to work. The “Indian” family is comfortably-off, and their flat is well furnished, whereas the Lins are quite hard-up in comparison and their flat is dingy, so they are diffident and have little contact. Only Young Lin’s wife and the “Indian” woman are coldly polite to each other. The sudden visit of the husband arouses the Lins’ suspicion. What has he come for? The visitor, however, is quite affable and says: “I hear you are having difficulties in finding a place for your child. Is that so?”

  Young Lin feels his face go red. This man has made him feel inadequate. So he hums and haws. The man continues:

  “I have a spare placement which you can use to get your child into the unit’s nursery. I obtained two originally: one for my child and the other for my elder sister’s. But she has decided not to use it. If you don’t mind, I can let you have this placement. We are neighbours after all!”

  Young Lin and his wife feel pleasantly surprised. There seems to be no malice in the expression of the ‘Indian’ woman’s husband. So Young Lin’s wife exclaims excitedly:

  “That is wonderful! Thank you so much. We’ve tried hard to get our daughter into that nursery but failed. We are about to get her into the neighbourhood nursery.”

  Young Lin feels ashamed: he wasn’t able to do it, but another man could. Surely he will be looked down on for this. So he does not appear as pleased as his wife. The “Indian” woman’s husband is aware of his feelings and adds considerately:

  “I could not find a way to solve the problem at first. It so happens that the father of one of my colleagues is the head of that unit. I asked for a favour through him and was given these placements. That’s the way things are done these days!”

  Young Lin feels better. The “Indian” woman is a trouble-maker but her husband seems a gentleman. He offers a cigarette to his guest. The cigarettes are not a good brand, and also a bit old and dry. But the guest appears unconcerned and smokes it with aplomb.

  Their daughter can now go to the nursery they wanted.

  Their minds are at rest. The relations between the Lins and the “Indian” woman’s family become much more friendly and the two children go to the nursery together. But several days later, Young Lin’s wife looks gloomy again. When asked what is the matter she answers:

  “We’ve been taken in! We shouldn’t have let our child go to that nursery!”

  “How? And why not?” he asks.

  His wife replies: “It seems on the surface, the ‘Indian’ family helped us out; but I have noticed something not quite right. They are helping themselves rather than us. Their child found it hard to go to the nursery, wailing and whining. So they helped us so that our daughter should keep theirs company. The two used to play together so they certainly find going to the nursery easy if they can go together now. I’ve also found out that there isn’t an elder sister! We are so incapable that even our child is taken advantage of. I benefit from the shuttle bus because of that sister-in-law. Who would have thought our child gets a place in the nursery because she is needed to accompany another child!”

  After this, she starts sobbing. A chill goes down Young Lin’s back. Damn it! The “Indian” family are scoundrels after all. But it isn’t something that can be said openly. He feels slightly dirty like a piece of garbage, yet even after consoling his wife, he knows his child will still go to the nursery tomorrow with the other child. But after all, he admits to himself, it is better to stay as a companion in a good nursery than to play about in a poor one. It is the same with the shuttle bus: better to enjoy it even knowing that the benefit is brought by the sister-in-law than to catch an overcrowded public bus. In the evening, after his wife and child have gone to sleep, he sheds tears of remorse for the first time. In the dark, he even slaps himself in the face:

  “Why are you a good-for-nothing? Can’t you be more capable?”

  But his slap is not very hard, in case his wife wakes up.

  6

  There is a bumper harvest in Chinese cabbages this year.

  Standing in a long line of locals, his breath is white as it hits the cold air. Young Lin is waiting to buy cabbages to store for the winter. Everyone is holding a card. Some people are wearing cotton-padded hats. During the wait, people begin talking to each other. A middle-aged man in front of Lin offers him a cigarette. Whenever it is time to store up cabbages for winter, he always feels tense. He sees others take cabbages on bicycles, tricycles or in big baskets, dro
pping loose leaves behind them. He feels worried: the cabbages will be gone before he gets any and his family will go without in winter. When squeezing into the crowd, he feels that he has been cheated year after year. With dozens of cheap cabbages, you have to waste time arranging them, airing them, turning them around, bringing them in and stacking them up. When aired, several layers of leaves come off and the Lins begrudge eating them so early in the season. Instead they buy more for instant consumption; when the Lins are willing to eat the stored cabbages, they’ve become dry and withered, like small sticks. Peeling the dry leaves off, all that is left are tiny cabbage hearts. Sometimes they get frostbitten and smell sour when cooked. Every spring, looking at the leftovers, Young Lin and his wife vow not to store any more cabbages next autumn. But when they see others buying up loads of government subsidized cabbages, they feel that they will lose out. Young Lin thinks the worry of it all isn’t worth the years of psychological stress over cheap cabbages. So this autumn, he has made up his mind not to store any more. His wife feels the same, pointing out that it isn’t such a bargain when you take into account the lost and dried layers of leaves. For three days they resist the temptation but on the fourth, he puts on his padded hat and joins the queue to buy cheap cabbages again. Not because he is weak-willed but because there is a glut of cabbages in Beijing this year, employees have been called upon to buy “Patriotic cabbages” and their work units will reimburse them. So they will buy as much as they can be reimbursed for. If not, they will miss the free offer. The limit is 150 kilos in Young Lin’s unit and 100 kilos in his wife’s. Therefore the couple decide to buy 250 kilos, which is even more than the amount they used to get in the past years. Young Lin has borrowed a tricycle cart from Old He, the deputy office head. He says: