Jek/Hyde

by Amy Ross

  Three people are already in the room: an older woman in burgundy silk with very long fingernails, a boy maybe my age with intricate tattoos across his bare back and a vivid-colored Mohawk and another young person whose gender I can’t be sure of, pale and wearing nothing but an oversize man’s dress shirt. The two younger ones are aimlessly cuddling and nuzzling at each other in one corner of the couch, while the woman looks on lazily and gives the occasional slurred direction.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave for a bit,” Hyde says, but they hardly seem to register our presence. Hyde’s supercilious smile shifts into a snarl. He crosses the small, close room and smacks the pale one on the thigh. “Scat,” he hisses. “Now.”

  The pale one makes a muffled noise of annoyance and rolls over. The woman raises her eyebrows imperiously, but nudges the punk with the toe of her furred slipper.

  “Darling, help me stand,” she says, reaching out one long, elegant arm. He gets to his feet and tugs the others off the couch, the pale one listing a little and in need of support. They shuffle around me toward the door, and the woman stops and leans in to whisper something to Hyde. While they’re occupied, the punk boy jerks his head to indicate that I should follow him out.

  In the hallway, the pale one is leaning against a wall with his eyes half closed, but the punk seems more alert.

  “You’re here with Hyde,” he says, and it doesn’t seem to be a question. I think about correcting him, but at the moment, it’s close enough to the truth. The boy huffs out a breath.

  “Be careful,” he says.

  I offer him a grim smile. “Don’t worry. I know not to trust him.”

  He glances over at the pale one, who is slipping inch by inch down the wall, then back at me. “I’m serious,” he says. “I know the drugs are hard to refuse, but that guy...he throws so much money at this place, they’ll never kick him out. But he’s dangerous. There’s a button by the door if things get out of hand. Someone will come right away.”

  Inside, the woman gives a sinister laugh, then steps out into the hall. She holds the door open and looks at me expectantly. I swallow hard and go in.

  Hyde is seated on the couch, one arm along the backrest, his legs crossed at the knee. “Can I get you anything?” he asks, his voice low and sweet again. “A drink, maybe? Or something stronger?”

  He gestures to the seat next to him, inviting me to sit down, but I keep my feet planted firmly where they are.

  “You mean Kymera?” I ask pointedly. “That’s how you’ve got everyone in this place eating out of your hand, isn’t it? I came here because I thought Jek might be dealing it, but of course, Jek stopped distributing his drugs long ago. He has you for that.”

  Hyde lifts one shoulder carelessly. “Jek’s drugs open a lot of doors, as you just saw.”

  “Yes, how convenient for you,” I say, trying not to let fury shake my voice. “So where is he?”

  Hyde smiles, showing his teeth. “How do you know he isn’t here?”

  “Jek wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this. He’s not like that.”

  Hyde hums thoughtfully to himself. “Maybe not,” he grants. “But you would.”

  “What? No I wouldn’t.”

  He uncrosses his legs and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

  I take a step backward, hardly conscious of the action. “That’s different. I’m just here looking for someone.”

  “That’s why everyone is here.” Hyde stands and closes the distance between us. “We’re all looking for someone. Or something. Some people just don’t know what it is yet.” He wraps a hand around my wrist and pulls it toward him. “What are you looking for, Lu?”

  “You know what,” I say tightly. “Stop playing games.”

  “Oh, but we were just starting to have fun.”

  “Tell me where Jek is. You must have heard from him.”

  Hyde leans closer, his hair brushing my skin, his scent like overripe fruit and bitter almonds filling my senses. “I’ll tell you a secret, Lu,” he whispers. “I don’t really want to talk about Jek.”

  I can’t suppress the shiver that runs through me. “I should go,” I say firmly. “Jek’s obviously not here, which means I’m wasting my time. If you won’t tell me where he is, then I’ll just have to try something else.”

  I step away and try to yank my hand free, but he grasps it more tightly.

  “What if I told you,” he murmurs, “that there’s nothing you can do for him now, but Jek will be home, safe and sound, by tomorrow night?”

  That stops me. “How do you know?”

  Hyde shrugs delicately. “I know a lot of things.”

  “If that’s true, then there’s no reason for me to be here. I should go home before my mom starts to worry.”

  Hyde tugs gently on my hand. “Your mother isn’t worrying,” he says, his eyes on my face. “She’s at work, and won’t be home for hours. She’ll never miss you.”

  I stare at him. “How can you possibly know that?”

  Hyde tugs a little harder, and I have to step forward or lose my balance. “Am I wrong?” he says. He takes a step back and sits on the couch, letting his hand slide from my wrist down to my thigh. “Come on, Lulu,” he says, his fingers tickling and teasing just under the loose hem of my dress. “You’re not expected home before morning. Wouldn’t it be terribly wasteful to leave now?”

  I feel my knees wobble, and I sit down beside him. “Why are you doing this?” I whisper, my skin prickling. “You could have anyone, anyone in London, or even here in the city. And you don’t even know me.”

  “Teach me, then. Help me know you.”

  I shake my head. “Why, so you can trick me into fulfilling your sick fantasies? I’ve heard about the vile things you make people do.”

  “Is that what you heard?” Hyde laughs, cold and clear. “Would you like to know the truth? It’s not my perversions that shock and appall people. It’s their own. The only thing I crave is knowledge and experience. All I’ve ever done is ask people what they want.”

  “And then?”

  “Then I give it to them. Go on, Lu.” Hyde slides forward off the couch and kneels in front of me. “I know you try so hard to be good,” he sighs, resting his hands lightly on my thighs. “To be responsible and trustworthy and loyal. But, sweetheart...” He leans in close and takes a deep, slow breath, his eyes slipping half closed. “No one is good all the time.”

  I sit there before him, my body so lax I could almost believe I’d been drugged. Hardly knowing what I’m doing, I lift my hand and tangle it in his curls, and he rubs into the gesture, practically purring. His face is no longer as strange and alien to me as it once was, but there’s something different about it now. Maybe it’s just a haircut, or that he hasn’t shaved. Maybe it’s the weird lighting of the room. But it feels like more than that.

  He reaches for my hand and guides it to the black strap around his neck, looping my finger through the silver ring.

  “There, now,” he says, his voice low and soft, but with something of a growl underneath. “I’m yours for the night. You have complete control. Are you really going to walk away?” He looks up at me, his eyes as black as oil slicks. “Or are you going to settle down and tell me what you want?”

  CHAPTER 15

  It’s storming. A violent wind beats at my bedroom window, thunder and lightning making a show of the night. I’m in bed with the lights off but I can’t sleep. Earlier I was trying to keep my mind occupied by streaming videos, but I couldn’t focus on anything, so I shut off my computer. There’s too much on my mind. I’ve been anxious all day, snapping at my mom over dinner because I can’t tell her what I’m worried about. I’m sick of being lectured by her about my relationship with Jek,
maybe because a part of me knows she’s right. I should have minded my own business and left Jek to his devices, but now I’m in too deep to extricate myself. I just wanted to help him, but now I’m afraid that whatever trouble Jek’s in, I’m going to get dragged down, too.

  And I feel terrible that, with all my amateur investigating, I still have nothing satisfying to tell Puloma. Where could Jek have gone? I assumed that if he disappeared, he must be with Hyde, but he wasn’t. Hyde did seem to have some idea where he was, but that’s not much consolation. Does he have Jek imprisoned somewhere? Is he hurt or unconscious? Hyde said Jek would be back tonight, but I still haven’t heard from him. And it’s not like I have much reason to trust Hyde.

  Normally storms lull me to sleep, but tonight the air crackles with electricity, my room flashing bright every few seconds. Amid all the wind and rain, I hear a tapping, rattling noise at the window. A sudden burst of lightning illuminates a dark face peering through the glass and I just barely manage to stifle my scream.

  It’s Jek. I move to the window and shove it open, letting rain spatter on my desk as Jek hauls himself in. He used to crawl in my window all the time when we were kids, but that was usually summer afternoons, during games of hide-and-seek. He hasn’t done this in years, and never at night.

  “Sorry,” he says, halfway through and grunting with exertion. “I didn’t want to wake your uncle.”

  “Oh, my God, Jek,” I say, tugging him the rest of the way inside and clutching him to me. He’s cold and dripping wet, but I’m so happy to see him that I don’t care. I burrow my face into his neck, kiss his skin and inhale the homey scent of lab chemicals, my relief stinging at my eyes. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” I repeat, my hands tangled in his hair. I pull back to look at his face in the dim light from the window. “Your mom was so worried. Does she...?”

  Jek nods. “I’ve been home.”

  I pull away and dry my eyes, embarrassed at my excessive display. “And Tom?”

  “Pissed,” he admits.

  I wince sympathetically. “Are you grounded?”

  “You could say that,” says Jek with a humorless laugh. “The asshole put a padlock on my door. I have to use the front now, so he can monitor me. Just what he always wanted—his own little police state.”

  “Jesus. But then how—”

  “I snuck out,” he says, leaning casually against my desk and sounding a little proud of himself. “Even fascists have to sleep sometime.”

  “So now you’ll get in even more trouble,” I point out, frowning. “You could have just texted me you were home.”

  Jek is silent a moment, his expression unreadable in the dark.

  “I needed to see you,” he says at last.

  “Jek,” I say, throwing my arms around him and burying my face in his shoulder as the storm roars outside. “I was so scared for you.”

  Jek’s hands are on my shoulders, gentle at first. Then they grip tighter and push me away.

  “Were you?” he says in a strange tone of voice. Lightning flashes outside and it makes his eyes glitter coldly.

  At first I can’t figure out what he means. “Of course I was!” I tell him. “We all were. Your mom was in a panic, and—” Then it hits me. “You spoke to him.” My heart thuds in my chest. “You spoke to Hyde. And he told you...” But I can’t go on.

  “You,” Jek says, his voice low and dangerous. “You wanted to wait. You said we should take things slow. Then the minute I turn my back...” He stops, but I can hear his breathing, feel his eyes hard on me. “Jesus Christ, Lulu,” he says hoarsely. “I thought if I got rid of him, that would solve everything. That you’d be happy. But you missed him. I was an idiot not to see that it was Hyde you wanted all along.”

  His words hit like a fist in the gut. I sit down on the bed, feeling sick.

  “So, how does it work?” I say at last, trying to sound light even as my voice is quivering with rage and humiliation. “You guys get together and...discuss his conquests?” Jek is motionless, a dark shape in front of the window. “And Hyde,” I continue. “He tells you—describes to you—everything he does with everyone he fucks.” Thunder rumbles and the room is daylight bright for a split second. “Or just when it’s me?”

  Jek is still and silent a moment. “Would that be better or worse?” he asks at last.

  I let out a hysterical laugh. “I don’t know. God, you prick. Both of you. What makes you think he isn’t lying, anyway? How do you know he’s not just talking big, like guys do? Trying to impress you.”

  Jek huffs out a breath. “Is that what you want me to believe?”

  “I don’t care what you believe,” I say, my fury boiling over. I’m through with playing the good girl, protecting Jek’s fragile ego. “You want to know what really happened? Fine. He did everything I asked for, and I loved it.”

  “Of course you did,” Jek spits, looming over me. “That’s what girls really want, isn’t it? Guys like Hyde. Psychopathic, amoral, sex-obsessed—”

  This brings me to my feet.

  “You should talk!” I say, my voice too loud for the late hour. Luckily the storm must be drowning us out, or else Uncle Carlos would be banging on the wall. “He’s your friend. Or whatever you are to each other. You’re seriously going to give me that pathetic crap about how girls only go for assholes and ignore the nice guy? Jek,” I continue, forcing my voice low, “I’ve been hung up on you for years and you never so much as looked in my direction. I love that you’re a nice guy. When you’re a nice guy...which you haven’t been lately. In case you hadn’t noticed, you take me for granted, you keep secrets, you ignore me to follow up on whatever shiny thing has your attention. So, yeah, maybe I got sick of waiting around for the ‘nice guy.’ Hyde may be an asshole, but at least he never pretends to be something he isn’t. He knows what he wants, and he cares enough to ask what I want.”

  I’m breathing fast and hard, daring Jek to disagree with me. He reaches out and takes my arm, yanking me close.

  “I know what you want,” he says low in my ear.

  “What?” I feel off balance, both physically and mentally. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re lying,” he whispers. “I know what you want, and Hyde didn’t give it to you.”

  I watch his face through the shifting shadows, not understanding. Then it hits me. “No,” I say softly, not wanting to believe it. But why shouldn’t I? Only an idiot would trust Hyde’s honor. “He told you. Hyde told you what I said, that little shit.” I start to pull free, but Jek’s grip on me is firm.

  “I think it was only fair,” Jek says, his voice smooth. He sounds amused, almost, which is disconcerting. “Given that it involved me.”

  I pull my arm free at last and curl up on my bed, hiding my face in my arms.

  “Oh, God,” I moan. “I can’t believe he told you.” I hug my knees tighter and turn my face to the wall. “He laughed at me, you know. Did he tell you that part? He said to tell him anything, whatever I wanted, and he’d do it,” I say, rocking slightly. “And I told him and he laughed. He laughed and said anything but that.”

  Jek sits on the bed and puts a hand on my back, but I tense up at the touch.

  “So which is it?” I ask bitterly. “I can’t believe that Hyde’s not willing. He’d do anything, he told me. So it must be you. You wouldn’t. You would never. And now you know I thought about it and—”

  I twist away from him and bury my face in a pillow. I don’t think I’ve ever been so humiliated in all my life. A moment later, I feel his arms around me and the weight of his body against my back as he whispers in my ear.

  “Lu,” he says, so softly I can hardly hear him. “I would.”

  For a long moment, we lie there together breathing, listening to the rain against the windowpanes. I turn my head toward him. He kisses me gently, then pulls back
to look in my eyes.

  “I’d give you everything.”

  I stare at him through the darkness, tracing his features in the pale glow from the window. The storm must have calmed by now, and there’s a sliver of moon showing. I’m so confused about everything between us, and I know I should demand more time to think things out, to make peace with the secrets he still won’t share. But he’s here with me, in my bed, and I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life.

  I kiss him again, briefly. “Is this okay?” I ask, one hand clutched in his shirt. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” he says. I tug him closer against me and he buries his face against my neck. “Only this time,” he whispers into my skin, “please...don’t think about him.”

  “Are you jealous?” I say, petting his hair.

  “Yes,” he breathes, almost inaudible. “Which is crazy.”

  I press him close. “Not that crazy,” I admit.

  He pulls back a little, brushing the hair from my face.

  “Oh, Lu,” he says, “you have no idea.”

  CHAPTER 16

  My first thought in the morning is that my alarm clock is going off, which is weird because I just hit the snooze.

  The second thought involves a ton of curse words hurled at Jek, who isn’t in my bed anymore. He’s not in my room at all, and probably not anywhere in the house.

  When you dream about your first time with the boy you’ve been pining over for years, having him sneak off in the middle of the night without leaving so much as a note isn’t usually part of it.

  I’m feeling around for my phone so I can call him and tell him how completely pissed off I am when I notice that my room looks like a tornado hit it. It was pretty neat last night, since I clean when I’m nervous, but now my things have been thrown all over, Jek’s jacket is squashed up under my desk and my makeup mirror is lying smashed on the floor.