The Christmas Walk Caper

by J. B. Michaels

  Brendan almost let a breath of relief out when he slid from the back of the inside of the cong to the opening in the front in a flash! Peanut butter stuck to his face. He grabbed the side of the opening tight as the toy shook and jolted up and down. The inside of the cong contracted as the dog’s jaw bit down on it. Luckily the dog’s jaw muscles weren’t that of a larger, more ferocious canine, otherwise, the tiny tree elf would have been smashed. The dog thrashed more. Brendan’s grip loosened. The dog’s strategy was working. His legs moved closer to the opening where his hands held on! His body was shifting to the side. One more thrash and he would be hanging out of the cong. Too close to the dog’s sharp teeth.

  “GRRRR!” The dog threw the cong with Brendan now dangling from the opening back towards the tree, well away from the stairs. Brendan let go of the cong. He flew through the air like Jane, except soon he would be falling.

  He aimed the Glimmerlift at a wooden table against the wall, across from the tree. He took a shot, the force of the dog’s throw depleted. He began to fall. The line from the Glimmerlift seemed to move in slow motion. His little elf body would not take a fall from this height well. “Oh, coal!” He cursed. “Coal! Coal! Coal!”

  34

  Come To The Stable

  “Oh, for the love…” The line from the Glimmerlift tightened a few inches from the carpet. Brendan zipped up to the top of the wooden table into some fluffy decorative cotton, used to resemble snow. He rolled around in the fluff, giggled, and yelled, “I love my glimmerlift! I love you! I love you!” He even gave it a kiss as he fastened the hook back to his belt.

  The Tailor Captain stood up and surveyed the table top. Statues of Santa, gingerbread houses, snowmen, ice skaters, and miniature pine trees combined for a wonderful Christmas display. He bet it looked even better when the twinkle lights were plugged in. As he walked on the fluff, he felt underneath the fake snow, lights used to illuminate such a quaint, literally quaint, Christmas village. At the back corner of the table was a dark building. Captain Brendan guessed it had to be the stable with the Baby Jesus on display. His Glimmerlight goggles helped him find a way through the statues and trees to the stable.

  The baby lay peacefully in his manger. His mother and father close to him, watching in awe at their newest and greatest gift. The three wise men stood with the finest gifts of the ancient world. Their only compass, the North Star, reminded Brendan of his current objective. He had to make it to the boy’s room. Christmas must go on. The moments such as the one on display here, the celebration of a child’s birth must endure.

  He looked to the top of the stable and realized he might be able to glimmerlift along the twinkle lights hanging from the windows on the wall behind the stable to the stairs. He’d be far away from the carpet and the dog. He aimed his Glimmerlift to the roof of the stable when the lights under the fluff turned on! He quickly ran behind the Baby Jesus. If the lights were turned on, a human must be close!

  THE SECRET SNOWBALL AVAILABLE NOW

  35

  Seizure (excerpt from ‘Brethren of the Saints’)

  Lily checked the spirit levels and vitality of the tree, something she hadn’t done in a while due to all the other more pressing situations. They checked out just fine, thankfully. She checked in with Billy, Steve, and Tonto, who were all at different sections of the tree double-checking for Brendan. As she pressed her com to get another status report from Irene, she felt a cold hand grasp her neck.

  “You will do as I say or be silenced forever.” The mysterious intruder spun her around to greet her face to face. A blue-grey skinned elf dressed in black with dark sunglasses and a crooked nose stood with eleven dark elves behind him.

  “Hello, Lillian. You will help us out a great deal in the next few hours.”

  “Spiritless...What have you done with the Captain?” Lily managed to speak despite the hand around her neck.

  “Ah your Captain is the least of your concerns right now. You will do what I say. If you refuse, then you will never see your Captain again.”

  “Let me go!” Lily managed a stern voice.

  The Head Spiritless elf eased his grip.

  “The first order of business will be to close all internal coms. I want your Tailors to only have the ability to communicate with you.”

  Lily closed the coms and a tear welled up in her left eye.

  “Next, you will order each of them to go to a separate specific part of the tree, that you think Brendan might be there or ask them to do a normal check related to their individual duties. You decide. Be convincing. Or else.”

  “You want me to lure them into traps?”

  “I knew I could count on you.”

  He made hand signals and the eleven Spiritless split into four groups. Three groups of three males and one pair composed of a male and female. The groups left the command center, in a swift and orderly fashion.

  “Let’s get the day after Christmas started right,” the Head Spiritless said as the faint light of dawn hit the tree through the windows in the house.

  36

  Tailor Traps

  “I want your Ornament Tailor up here at the top of the tree,” the Head Spiritless said.

  “Billy. Come in. Over,” Lily called.

  “Yep. Go ahead, Lily. Over,” Billy answered.

  “Could you please check the Icicle on the back of the tree? I think the loading ramp may still be open?”

  “Yes, ma’am, still no sign of Brendan. Out.”

  “Now, your Water and Needle Tailor, Tonto, I want him in the middle towards the trunk and the Fire Tailor at the bottom. I understand Irene is currently fighting our termites. No worries about her just yet,” the Head Spiritless said.

  Billy made his way to the Icicle using his GlimmerLight goggles. He stopped at the ramp.

  “Hey Steve. Come in. I could use your muscles with this ramp. Over.”

  No response.

  “Steve. Come in. Over.”

  Still nothing.

  “Hey Lily, I can’t get a hold of Steve. Can you reach him? Over?”

  “The network is down at the moment. You can only reach me here at tree top. Over.”

  About to respond, Billy saw a blinding flash. He felt a hard blow to his head and another before he fell unconscious onto the ramp of the Icicle transport.

  Tonto checked the trunk on the middle branches.

  “Hey Lily, these branches and needles seem strong.”

  A flash. Tonto fell to his knees. He attempted to rip off his goggles when a Spiritless elf kneed him in the face. Two others grabbed him from behind. Tonto fought to get up and nearly pushed the two off his back. The one at his front forced a hood over his head and punched him twice in the face. The two behind him secured him with tinsel. Tonto struggled to break free, but couldn’t move.

  Steve checked the hoses and hydrants at the bottom of the tree. He then went down to the tree stand to check the water levels. He reached the stand when he felt a kick at his back and fell into the water. He looked up. Three Spiritless elves stood at different spots, in a circle around him. He heard one say, “Release!” The three elves dropped tinsel ropes. A large, heavy ornament fell on Steve, who was treading water, and knocked him out.

  “Tailors are secured, sir. Just the one female remains. Over,” reported a Spiritless from somewhere in the tree.

  “Very good. We have a plan for the female if she makes it out of the tunnels.”

  Lily cringed and shook her head in despair.

  37

  Shake The Foundation

  Irene blasted the seemingly never ending wall of termites that made it within centimeters of her. She had already used three flares to keep them back and hoped that the extinguisher wouldn’t run out of carbon dioxide. She had been laying on the spout for the last fifteen minutes. The line of termites finally thinned out. She froze the last one. Now she had the task of clearing all the frozen bugs out of the way to reach the cement foundation. The bugs must have found some cracks in the c
ement to get through from the outside.

  The termites were ugly, with sharp pincers jutting out from the sides of their gaping mouths. Even dead ones still seemed threatening. Irene coughed at all the CO2 hanging in the heavy air of the tunnel. She had to weave her way in between and over all the termites that lay in front of her. Irene could see the end of the tunnel. The corner wall and the cement foundation inched ever closer.

  The Lighting Tailor made it to the end of the mud tunnel to find a steep, sloped drop. She shined her flashlight down the incline. The foundation looked craggy and treacherous in spots. The descent into the cement slab, under Jack’s house, proved considerably more tight and slick than the first part of the tunnel. Irene slipped and fell a few centimeters.

  Her biggest concern was the fire extinguisher. If it hit a jagged spot in the crack of the cement it could leak, explode, and possibly kill her. Irene slid slowly now as if on a water slide- the kind where one has to lay down and cross one’s hands across one’s chest. All of a sudden, she sped up and could hear the metal of the extinguisher clanging off bumps in the cement. She couldn’t stop.

  With her eyes closed, she felt her speed lessen and mud in between her fingers. The collection of mud in her fingers provided a smooth stop and prompted a sigh of relief, Irene opened her eyes. Darkness enveloped her. GlimmerLight goggles would be useful at the moment, but the moisture of the tunnel would have ruined them. She had three flares left. The flashlight weakened. Her extinguisher was running low. She hoped the nest was close. Luckily, the tank had only suffered minor scratches and a tiny dent.

  Irene popped a flare. She began to crawl into another horizontal mud tunnel and secured the flashlight to her belt. She forgot to call Lily with a status report and then remembered that communication was impossible this deep underground. Irene was truly alone.

  This last tunnel ran under the lawn of the house and directly to the nest. Irene army-crawled toward it. She could sense a slight difference in the way the air felt in this tunnel, slightly cooler, and fresh. A new wall of termites blocked the entrance to the nest. They were the workers, the fierce defenders. Irene had had enough and crawled right up to them spraying sporadically. She heard their high-pitched squeals. The ones that crawled underneath their frozen brothers, she stabbed with the hook of her GlimmerLift.

  One of the pincers from a worker termite caught her sleeve! She slammed the termite into the side of the mud tunnel, splattering termite juice onto her arm and shoulder. She pushed out of the pile and into the nest where there was enough room to stand up. Irene let loose another flare and threw it into the middle of the nest, illuminating the mother termite. A long, disgusting, pale, slimy, pulsating abdomen made up her womb. Her body was much bigger than her babies and her head was much taller than that of her brood. The tiny Tailor would have been intimidated earlier, but not now.

  Irene kept the other worker termites back with the light. She had a plan. She removed the fire extinguisher from her back and threw it at pulsating abdomen of the mother termite. Still holding the flare, she backed up to the entrance of the nest. A worker tripped her. More termites swarmed to her on the ground. With no fire extinguisher, she would have to use her own brute force. She peeled one off her chest that had been biting at her face. The mother termite shrieked loudly, urging her crew to kill.

  Irene managed to get back on her feet. Flare still illuminated, she jabbed the light into the next closest termite, and its insides glowed. She tossed the flare to the side and beat the rest with her GlimmerLift. With more closing in, she aimed the business end of the GlimmerLift at the fire extinguisher next to Mama Termite and shot. The hook sped and sunk into the metal of the tank. Carbon dioxide spewed out of it blanketing the mother’s abdomen. The shriek turned shrill. The large termite’s legs and pincers twitched spastically. She struggled to survive.

  Irene detached the harness to her GlimmerLift and escaped into the tunnel. When she was about halfway through, the screeching stopped.

  BRETHREN OF THE SAINTS AVAILABLE NOW

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