by Barb Shuler
Mrs. Santos from Child Protective Services was in the office with Gabe talking over what they had presented to them. Derek had to fess up to Gabe before she got here and that went over like a brick wall falling on an egg. Derek and Gabe both had raised voices, doors were slammed and Derek had walked off. Right out the fucking door. That was not helping Lana. I’d called Anna and now with us both here we would try to get her to calm down. No matter what a piece of paper says, she is a McKenna. She is our sister. And I‘ll be damned if anyone even tries to take her from us.
Jennings and Evans, the assholes from the school, sat on the opposite wall from where Lana and Anna sat, their heads together. I wanted to toss them in the cells and leave them to rot, but that was not my place. If only. But that would be police brutality and Lord knows there was enough of that shit going on everywhere, we didn’t need it here, too.
I moved to crouch before Lana and Anna and rested my hand on Lana’s knee. “Hey, Peanut. You want something to drink? Maybe a Sprite would help your hiccups?” I said, silently looking her over to make sure she was not breaking like Anna had a couple years ago. I wasn't sure I could handle that. It’s one thing to feel helpless but when it’s your little sister, broken before you.. it guts you. I was raw for months after that shit.
“May-be,” she said through a hiccup. Anytime she cried alot she got them. She had since she was a baby. I nodded and stood, kissing her head.
“All right, I’ll go get one from the fridge. Be right back,” I said before walking back to the break room. Hopefully there was still one in there. When I opened the door I pulled a small bottle out and brought it back to her.
“You need to take a deep breath. Come on Lana, your lips are turning blue,” Anna said, panic in her voice. I moved to her and patted Lana’s cheek.
“Where is her inhaler?”
“Her bag. It’s in the orange pouch,” Anna called out as I moved to Derek’s desk where Lana’s bag lay. I pulled it out and moved back to her. I put the opened end to her lips, she opened and closed around it.
“On the count of three, Peanut. One, Two, Three.” I pushed the plunger down and she sucked back a big, deep breath. Anna counted slowly next to her. She had to hold it for ten seconds, or as close to that as she could. At five she tried to push the inhaler away. “No ma’am, one more. Ready? On three.” Again I counted and pushed the plunger. She took in a breath and held it. This time she made it to eight. Her cheeks were filling with color again and I sighed in relief. We may have seemed calm, but I can promise you, this was one of the scariest fucking things to have to deal with.
The bell over the door rang and Derek walked back in. His face was still red and he was bleeding. What the fuck? I moved to meet him, but he pushed me aside and moved to where Anna and Lana were. He said nothing as he scooped Lana up and sat her in his lap. She instantly curled into him and her cries softened.
“I’m sorry, Butterfly. So damn sorry.” I heard him whisper that to her over and over. I gave him a hard look but he wouldn’t look at me. He kept his gaze across the room, his glare burning a hole in the two people there. Yeah, that was gonna solve a lot. I scrubbed my hands over my face trying to keep from losing my shit when I heard yelling.
“Where in the hell is my daughter?” Kelly shouted, as she stormed in.
I held up both of my hands and moved towards her and my dad. “Keep your voice down. We just got Lana calmed down. She's all but turned into a Smurf twice now. If you freak her out I'll toss you in the back.”
“You forget who you're talking to! Watch it, Charles,” Kelly snapped and moved to go around me but I blocked her.
“Stop right there. As of right now you're under suspicion of kidnapping, child endangerment and anything else they can charge you with. You're not allowed to have contact with Lana, not yet.” I tried to calm my rising anger but failed when Kelly tried to charge forward.
“Son, what in the hell is going on?” Dad asked me. The genuine confusion on his face made my stomach turn. Thank God, this meant he didn't know. The man can't lie worth shit, well not to me. I knew his tales by now. I shook my head as I moved Kelly back towards him.
“Ask your wife,” I said. My eyes narrowed and I crossed my arms. I was using my body to block her view of Lana. Until we got answers she wasn't going anywhere near her.
“Kelly?” Dad questioned. She refused to look his way, standing there completely silent. Her lips pinched together as she glared at me. I leaned in closer and dropped my voice to where only Dad and Kelly could hear me.
“Kelly, either you tell him, or I do. If I do, I plan to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Ya got me?”
“Kelly, what the hell?” Dad asked.
Kelly
“I- I had to do it. To keep her safe. I'd do it again in a heartbeat!” The words tumbled out of me. My heart hammered and for the first time in almost eighteen years I had to relive the day I lost my daughter all over again. The rage that bubbled inside me was enough to make Mount Saint Helen’s look like a barbeque. “That asshole is the reason my daughter is dead!”
“What in the hell-” Robert pulled me back a few steps. His anger filled eyes met mine and I pulled my arm from his. “Explain now or so help me…”
“Don’t you threaten me, Robert McKenna. I didn’t do anything wrong. I saved that child from a drug addicted father. My daughter died bringing her into this world. I will be damned if I let her go through the hell I did.”
“Shut your mouth. Right the fuck now. Charlie, call Leon. I need one of his boys over here, now. Tell him I will pay him double if they’re here in five minutes,” Robert said before he drug me towards the back break room. I was trying to see my angel but she was blocked from me. The door slammed behind us and I reared back, stepping away from him.
“What are you doing, Robert?” I asked as I again took an involuntary step back.
“Who is Lana’s father and what in the hell have you done? Tell me the truth or I will throw you in a jail cell myself!” His voice boomed out around us. I knew he was pissed and confused, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to know this story. Fuck it all to hell. How in the fuck did they find this out?
“Look, it’s a long story. Lana is my granddaughter. My-” I turned to look at the back wall and took in a deep breath as I started to pace. “My life before Texas was one clusterfuck after another. I got pregnant at seventeen, had a shit life, and had to grow up fast. My daughter, my baby followed in my footsteps. She was sixteen when she got pregnant. It was a hard pregnancy. That jackass did it on purpose. He convinced her to forge my name on some marriage papers. All so he could get fucking money to buy drugs. When I found out I had him arrested. Christine died giving that little girl out there life. I almost lost her too. I won’t let anyone take her from me. Yes, I took her and left town. That sorry piece of shit has no right to her.”
Robert was silent as I turned back to look at him. His face was red, I could see he was fighting to not yell, or God, who knows what. I just laid a lot of shit out on the table before him - so to speak. I held up a hand when he went to speak. I needed a minute before he said anything that he or I may regret in five minutes. I wrapped my arms around myself and moved to sit on the couch. Leaning over my lap I rested my head on my knees and tried to hide the shaking as I let the tears fall.
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me, Kel? I was the fucking Sheriff when you met me. You could have been honest with me then. Now… bloody fucking hell, woman! What are we gonna do now? This could end very badly. Lana will not be eighteen for another seven months. Do you know what would happen if they snatched her from us and put her in a fucking foster home? Or God.. they could give her back to her father. You know what that would mean? God damn you, woman!” He shouted as his anger rose, feeding the power of his words as he moved to the door and walked out.
The slamming of the door made my heart sink as I cried harder. Not only for my own pain, but for everything that had happened. I never wanted Lana t
o have the kind of life Christine and I had. She needed a family to love her. She needed a safe place to grow up. She deserved this place, this family we both loved. I couldn’t let this happen. No, that rat fink would not get near my girl. Hell would freeze over or I would die first. Not a moment before. I moved to the door and flung it open. I saw Robert and Charlie talking to Gabe, Lana was curled into Derek and that whore from the school was glaring at the room. I moved over to talk to Lana but was stopped by a very pissed off Anna.
“Do not go near her. Not right now. I mean it, Kelly,” she said as she crossed her arms.
There were more bodies in here now than I thought. Dani Lynn and Stella were seated across from the kids, scowls on their faces. A man I hadn’t noticed before was talking to Charlie and Robert. I could see him from this angle. I shook my head and went to move towards Robert when the front door of the station opened. The moment I saw Thomas Bryant walk in I lost it. I made a beeline for him. My anger fueled my stride. When he saw me he went to step back, but it was too late. I reared back and punched him in the face as hard as I could. Someone called out to me, but nothing was stopping this. The maggot needed to be taught a few lessons. I was able to jerk him around before Robert had me from behind in a bear hug.
“LET ME GO!” I screamed, kicking out and catching that fucker Thomas in the nuts. He dropped like a bag of grain on a loading dock. I screamed again as I was hauled to the back of the station. My heart hammered. My body shook with anger and adrenaline. I was shoved into a cell. I kid you not, the mother fucker put me in a god damn cell. I was not a fucking criminal!
“Robert! You let me out of this fucking cell right now!” I saw Gabe stride in behind Robert.
“Kelly McKenna, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can not afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand the rights as I have given them to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me now?”
I glared at Gabe Cartwright. His scowl said a lot about how he felt right this moment. I said nothing but moved to the cot in the corner and sat down, once again burying my face in my knees.
Fuck my Life.
19
A Life of Lies
Lana
Every moment of my life has been one lie after another. Even now as I listen to Mama and Daddy yell and slam things around, again… I feel so lost. It's one thing when they do this at home.. but in public. It was freaking me out. Like with the fights at home I couldn't say anything. They'd think less of them if they knew neither of them were happy.
Having Derek come back earlier helped some, but the fact that he was covered in blood and dirt made my heart hurt. He refused to tell anyone, including Dani Lynn what happened after he left here.
Scared. That's the best way to describe what I feel right now. I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to believe any of this is really happening. I'd refused to leave from Derek’s lap when the lady from CPS (Child Protective Services) came out and asked me to follow her. Derek wrapped his arms around me and even now as we sat in the conference room with Mama, Daddy, that man, Charlie, Anna and of course, Sheriff Cartwright. There were two lawyers, but I don't know who they are. I was in Derek’s lap now that he’d carried me in here. I was not moving either. I think he was okay with that too.
I wanted this to be over. Why was it happening to me? Why now? So many questions that I was afraid I'd have to hear actual answers to rolled around in my head. With a soft grunt Derek shifted me. I watched as he flexed his fingers and his jaw tightened. He was in pain but refused to show it.
“Derek… what happened? Please tell me,” I pleaded softly. My voice so low I doubted anyone could hear me besides him.
“Not now, Butterfly.” His lips pressed to my forehead and I sighed. Loudly. I didn't care either.
“Lana, I need you to answer some questions for me. I'd prefer if you and I were alone to do this part.” I looked over at the woman, Mrs. Santos, and glared.
“No, ma’am, I will not be in a room alone with a stranger. Not again,” I said, my voice cracking slightly.
It was then - remembering the encounter earlier with the man claiming to be my father - that I remembered I had a piece of paper in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked down at it, ignoring everyone, including this CPS woman. I rolled it in my hand and chewed on my lip. I decided to open the paper and it was a letter written to someone named Thomas from someone named Christine. He'd called me Christine earlier today.
Thomas,
It's a girl. I had a sonogram today. I'm so happy. We will be a happy family as soon as you're here with us. I hope they let you out early. I want you there for the birth no matter what my mother says. I love you.
Love,
Christine
I balled it up and shoved it into my pocket after I read it. Tears pricked my eyes again and I glared across the table as the Santos lady called my name, again.
“Can I go home now? I want to go home. I just want to go home now, please,” I begged as the tears slid down my cheeks. “Just let me go home.”
“Lana, you can't go anywhere until we sort things out. I know this is hard and I'm sorry, but by law-”
“I want to go home now!” I stood up, shaking violently as I screamed my words out. I was in full panic mode. What if they sent me someplace I didn't want to go? What was going to happen to my mama? What about Daddy? I gripped my hair and shook my head. Derek was in front of me in the blink of an eye, his hands cupping my face as he spoke.
“Stop. Breathe. Focus on me. You're safe, I won't let anything happen to you. You hear me?” His words wrapped around me like a cocoon and I nodded slightly.
“Peanut, I’m right here, so is Sissy. You're safe okay?” Charlie said. I looked up as Derek moved to the side. His arm wrapped around me.
“I just want to go home. Please!” I turned into Derek’s chest and sobbed. My mind was all over the place. My heart was breaking and confusion was eating at me. As mama would say, this was a clusterfuck.
“She's my daughter, let me just take her home with me. She was stolen! What part of that do you not understand?” The man named Thomas stood, slamming his hand down on the table. I jumped and clung to Derek's shirt.
“That is my daughter,” Daddy’s words were sharp and clear. “She doesn't belong to you. No matter what Kelly did, I legally adopted her. You have no rights to her.”
The room erupted into loud shouts and I didn't know who was yelling louder. Daddy and Thomas were lunging at each other now. I shook in Derek’s arms. I wanted out. He pulled me back into the corner of the room out of the way. The conference room door slammed open drawing everyone's attention. Dani Lynn and Stella walked in. Stella slapped a paper in front of the Santos lady and pointed around the room.
“Sit down and shut the hell up.” The Sheriff went to say something, but was cut off by Dani Lynn.
“Daddy, please. Just listen.”
A dark haired, casually dressed man walked in and shut the door. Derek and he nodded at each other before he sat down. Stella started talking in earnest then.
“That's a court order from Judge Smoaks,” she grinned. “It gives Dani Lynn and myself temporary custody of the minor child listed. That would me one Miss Alana Christine McKenna.”
Voices rose again and Stella - being Stella - whistled so loudly my ears rang. The room went silent.
“Shut your pie holes!” She snapped.
“Stel, really,” Dani Lynn scolded. “This paper gives us temporary rights until the case of the minor child goes to court. As of this moment we are activating said order.”
“This makes no sense. Why would you get custody? You are not on my list of approved foster parents. And a gay couple at that…” Mrs. Santos muttered. I hadn't heard her clearly but Stella had. I laughed silently as I curled into Derek to hide my face. There were a few groans around the room before Stella l
it into the CPS lady.
“Listen here, witch. If Dani Lynn and I were in a relationship like that we would still be as effective as temporary fosters than any of the heterosexual couple on your fucking list. Secondly, we both happen to like dicks, not chicks. So, you should know what you're spewing before you open your fucking mouth. See the name on the fucking piece of paper before you? Can you not read? Or wait, let me guess, they teach hate and not reading where your ass is from?” With each word her fingers tapped the paper before Mrs. Santos. The woman was sputtering as she stood.
“How dare you!” The now red faced woman hissed.
“Stella Grace, that's enough.” Sheriff Cartwright stood and moved around to look at the paper. He picked it up and skimmed through the pages. “Even if she said it in an unprofessional manner, Stella is correct.” He paused then started reading. “Temporary custody of the minor child listed above, Alana Christine McKenna, is remanded to Dani Lynn Abigail Landry and Stella Grace Malone of Helping Hands, Open Hearts Center for Women, effective this date, the thirteenth day of November, year twenty sixteen. Listed minor child is to have supervised visits with adopted father named above, Robert Dale McKenna. There is to be limited to no contact with Kelly Elizabeth McKenna until relationship to above named child is proven.”