Love Like Hallelujah

by Lutishia Lovely

  “Girl, that would be so much fun, even better if it were Oprah and Gayle. They’ve been best friends longer than we have. I’d invite myself over to see that beautiful garden she has in her backyard that is the size of Connecticut, ask her if she wouldn’t mind me having a spot of tea.”

  “Please, Tai, you’d barely be able to ask for an autograph.”

  “You’re probably right.” Tai laughed, but it was empty. Her real thoughts smoldered just beneath their light banter. An hour to Oxnard, where Tootie’s son worked. An hour to know for sure that Kelvin was not King’s child, so she could get on with her life. It wasn’t lost on her that their names both began with K. Was that coincidence? Or a mother’s veiled attempt to form some sort of connection?

  In the time since Tootie’s denial that Kelvin was King’s son, Tai, with her teacher Bryan’s help, had become an ace detective. She didn’t know how he did it, but Bryan quickly located Kelvin through the Internet. It was amazing what one could find with just a name and general location. The only thing he hadn’t been able to find was a photograph.

  Finding out that the boy worked, and where, had been Tai’s stroke of genius. She’d gotten the idea one day to call the school he attended, Laguna Blanca, pretend to be Tootie, and see what kind of information she could get. It had taken three calls. On the first two, she’d gotten a stern, no-nonsense woman who’d asked Tai as many questions as Tai had wanted to ask her! Tai had acted like the connection messed up. “Hello? Are you still there? I can’t hear you. Let me call back.” She didn’t.

  The second time the same woman answered and Tai hung up. The third time was the charm. The young woman who answered, probably a student working part-time, had been friendly, bubbly and very informative about her friend Kelvin. Tai had felt a bit guilty about how excited the girl had been over meeting “Kelvin’s mom.” So much so, that she had to think quick to make sure her cover wasn’t blown. “Don’t tell Kelvin I’ve called. He hates to think I’m checking up on him but, well, you know how mothers worry.” The girl had agreed, in a conspiratorial whisper, to not divulge a thing. Good girl.

  But that’s when she’d found out Kelvin worked part-time at a Best Buy about forty-five minutes from the school. “You know how your son likes his electronic gadgets,” the girl had said. Tai had no idea, but thought of how King was always the first to buy any new electronic gizmo that came out. Hmm.

  “A penny for your thoughts.” Vivian noticed Tai had been quiet for some time.

  “I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. It was one thing being at home and planning it. But now that I’m here…”

  “You know, I’m uncomfortable, too. I think this is the first time I haven’t been totally honest with Derrick about what I’m doing.”

  “I appreciate it, Viv. But you know how close Derrick and King are. I just don’t want to take the chance of King finding out I’m doing this. He’d be pissed, and that’s putting it lightly. He can’t understand why I can’t just let it go, count my blessings. Sometimes, I don’t understand either.”

  “It’s not always clear what motivates us. But listen, here’s another way to look at it. All we’re doing is going shopping. You’re going to buy some CDs, and I’m going to get a new organizer. Yes, you could have gone to the Best Buy in Kansas City and I could have gone to the one in LA, but we both needed a breath of fresh air. All we’re doing is going shopping.”

  Tai rolled her eyes. “Leave it to your eternally optimistic ass to find a spin like that to put on it. Only you!”

  “What, it’s true isn’t it? I told Derrick we were going shopping. Did I lie?”

  “Not as long as we buy something.”

  Tai had told King she was visiting Vivian so they could better plan the second S.O.S. Summit. That was partly true. They did plan on talking about the summit during the trip. In actuality, they probably wouldn’t get past the general outline stage. But having something to take their minds off whatever they found in the electronics department was probably a good idea.

  King had been happy to hear about the trip, had encouraged her to go. Mama Max agreed to help watch the kids along with the twin’s babysitter. Both hoped this meant Tai had moved on from the whole “Tootie and child” scenario. Tai had been uptight since the meeting with Tootie and Hans. Hearing her talk about the S.O.S. Summit was a sign to both of them that maybe Tai was over the ordeal.

  “You know, Tai,” Vivian began, “it still isn’t too late if you’re having second thoughts about this. There’s nothing saying we have to go through with finding Kelvin. You can never guess how something like this might affect you. What if we get there and you believe he is King’s son? Are you really ready for those consequences?”

  This wasn’t the first time Vivian had asked the question. Tai’s answer was the same as when Viv had asked the night before. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  They passed a sign indicating Oxnard was ten miles away. “What’s the address again?” Vivian asked.

  Tai gave it to her and Vivian spoke it into her Navigator system. The Best Buy exit was coming up very soon.

  “You want to know something interesting?” Tai asked.

  “What?”

  “If it hadn’t been for King’s affair with April last year, I don’t think I’d be strong enough to do this.”

  “Hmm.”

  “It’s true. The strength I found getting through that situation is amazing. I found me again, found my power. And King and I found the strength of our marriage again. Found the love that brought us together in the first place. That’s why I know I can handle this. If Kelvin is King’s son, we’ll just have to deal with it. We’ll take it one day at a time, one situation at a time, and do whatever’s best for all involved.”

  “How do you think King will react if it’s true?”

  “First, he’ll go off because I didn’t tell him I was doing this. But I know King. He would have tried to talk me out of it, raised hell about my coming out here. Besides, the boy may look nothing like King. That’s my prayer; and if God hears and answers me, no harm done. I will have eased my mind, kept King’s blood pressure down, and everybody will be happy.”

  The women were quiet as Vivian followed the Navigator instructions and exited the freeway. Vivian thought about Tai and all her friend had gone through with King. She continually counted her blessings. How had it ended up she got someone like Derrick, someone who’d been faithful to her from day one of their marriage? She was aware of how fortunate she was and thanked God every day. Over fifteen years, and though they’d had their share of women trying to cause disruptions, women like Robin, the Montgomery marriage and the love in their relationship had remained strong. Their children were healthy, the church was thriving, all was well. God, you are so good to me…thank you.

  Vivian turned into the Best Buy parking lot. Although it was in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, it was full. She pulled into a space and turned off the engine. No one moved.

  “Well,” Vivian said, turning to Tai. “This is it, girl.”

  Tai took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.” She grabbed her purse and opened the door.

  Vivian opened her door as well. God, help us. She caught up with Tai, slowly walking toward the store’s entrance.

  “We’ve been through some things, you and I,” Tai said.

  Vivian grabbed Tai’s hand. “God’s got your back, and so do I. You know that, right?”

  Tai stopped and looked at her friend. “If I know nothing else, I know that.”

  “Well, then,” Vivian said, starting toward the store. “Let’s do this.”

  “Good afternoon, welcome to Best Buy.” The greeter smiled and handed Vivian and Tai each a sales paper as they walked inside. Vivian was nervous. What in the world were they doing? And how would she help her friend if the boy was King’s spitting image? She prayed silently for the strength to help her friend…. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil
, for God is with me….

  “Where should we start?” Vivian asked Tai.

  “Why don’t we start at the end, over there by appliances, and work our way down each aisle.”

  “That sounds good. But wait? Didn’t his friend say he was into electronics? Let’s start on this side, by the computers and televisions, work our way from there.”

  “Okay.”

  The women walked over to the far right wall and started browsing the televisions there, trying to look like casual customers. Within minutes, a cheery voice sounded behind them.

  “Hello ladies, looking for a new television set today? We’ve got some great ones on sale, and some new plasma screens in the back.”

  “No thank you, we’re just looking. We’ll let you know if we need help.” Tai was polite, but firm.

  “No problem, ladies. My name is Jeff. Just let me know if you need me.”

  Vivian looked beyond Jeff to a group of workers congregated in the back of the store, near the plasma screens he’d pointed out. One was a tall, gangly, Black boy, his back to them.

  “Hey, Tai,” Vivian said after the store employee had walked away. “See that group of workers? Let’s walk that way.”

  Tai nodded, and they started walking a few feet behind Jeff, who had headed in the same direction. They tried to stay casual, but both of their hearts were beating, hard. The young Black man, obviously telling a story, was the center of attention. He was gesturing with his arms, faking a jump shot, as the boys around him laughed. Tai grabbed Vivian’s arm, signaling her to walk along the far aisle. They’d go to the end of the store and walk back down the aisle where the group was standing. That way, they’d be able to see his face without looking obvious.

  “Ooh, girl, my heart is beating fast,” Vivian finally admitted.

  “Mine, too.” Tai laughed nervously. “We’re crazy as hell, acting like we’re CSI California or something.”

  “Shhh…Okay, he’s around this corner. You go first.”

  “No, you go.” Tai had stopped and pulled Vivian in front of her.

  They were whispering, acting like kids. Vivian looked at Tai, a smirk on her face. “You old scaredy-cat,” she said, boldly stepping into the aisle. “He probably isn’t even going to…”

  The rest of the words died on her lips as the boy looked up. Tai, just steps behind her, stopped, too. Kelvin had obviously finished his story and had broken away from the group. He was standing in the aisle repositioning products, not fifteen feet in front of them. He looked up as they turned the corner: shiny brown eyes, a smile revealing straight white teeth, a whisper of a mustache.

  “Good afternoon. Can I help you find something today?”

  Tai couldn’t move. Vivian couldn’t breathe. He’d already helped them, more than he knew. They’d found something all right, found just what they were looking for. The boy’s face told the story. It couldn’t have been any clearer, the smooth brown skin, sharp brow, prominent cheekbones. He looked just like his father.

  Kelvin, Tootie’s son, was the spitting image of his preacher dad, Derrick Anthony Montgomery.

  “Vivian, you okay? Here, drink some water.”

  Tai grabbed her friend’s water bottle, uncapped it, and handed it to her. Vivian was sitting perfectly still. She hadn’t moved, had barely blinked since getting back in the car. Tai had immediately taken over inside the store. She’d grabbed Vivian’s hand, mumbled something to Kelvin about forgetting her wallet in the car, and practically dragged a still-staring, shell-shocked Vivian out of the building.

  In a thousand years, neither woman had expected this turn of events. How could the child look so much like Derrick? It was impossible that he’d fathered Tootie’s child. Wasn’t it? Vivian was aware that Derrick knew Tootie, that they’d all known each other since their high school days in Kansas. But she’d never, ever dreamed there’d been something sexual between them.

  Vivian tried processing what couldn’t be denied. Their features were so much alike: the eyes, nose, mouth. His forehead was a bit different, and where Derrick didn’t have a dimple, Kelvin did. The head shape was slightly different but…that boy looked like her husband, resembled her son. Kelvin, Derrick’s son? It was too much. It was unreal. Where before she’d been concerned for Tai, it was now her life that was shattered, her family that looked about to enter mass turmoil, her future that suddenly looked unpredictable. The prayers she’d prayed for Tai, fearing no evil because God was there…Ha! She’d had no idea how much she’d need God. Not for Tai, for herself.

  “What am I going to do?” she asked Tai, hurt and confusion surrounding every word. The shock started wearing off, replaced by anger. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe Derrick would do something like this to me, to our family! All this time, he’s said he was faithful, and I believed him!”

  “Slow down, Viv. I know you’re upset, but let’s think this out, okay? Remember, Mama Max said Kelvin was sixteen. That would mean he was conceived before you and Derrick were married, maybe even before you met.”

  “But in all these years and all the talk about Tootie, Derrick never mentioned he’d slept with her…not once!”

  “And why would he? What good would that have done? Has he told you about the other women he slept with before you were married, or have you shared with him your former lovers?”

  They’d talked generally about their premarriage relationships, but nothing specific. It hadn’t seemed necessary; they’d always been so in love.

  “This is different,” Vivian said, tears starting to stream silently down her face. “This is somebody who’s in our life now.”

  Until five minutes ago, she was only in my life, Tai thought, but didn’t verbalize. Sometimes silence was golden; this was one of those times. “What do you want to do?” she asked, after a moment’s pause.

  Vivian wiped her eyes, reached for a tissue, and blew her nose. “I don’t know,” she said softly, staring off into the distance, trying to see the perfect life she’d left in the parking lot. “I really don’t know.” New tears flowed.

  “I’m so sorry, Viv. This is all my fault. I just had to know about Kelvin, just had to know the truth.” She rubbed Vivian’s shoulders as Vivian sat with her head bowed. “I’m so sorry.”

  “This isn’t your fault,” Vivian said. She wiped her eyes once more, straightened her shoulders, took a deep breath, and started the engine. “It’s Derrick’s fault. And Tootie’s. And now we’ve got one, big mess.”

  Tai was silent, thinking back to the meeting with Tootie. Now the strange behavior made sense. Why she’d been so close-mouthed, why she hadn’t wanted to show a picture. She knew how close King and Derrick were, knew that they would have known immediately. So she’d told the basic truth. King was not Kelvin’s father. It’s what she hadn’t said that was today’s revelation.

  “Has King ever mentioned anything that would suggest Derrick and Tootie had been together?” Vivian asked.

  Tai gave Vivian a look. “Girl, King and I don’t talk too much about Tootie, trust.”

  “I want so much to hold out for the small chance that Kelvin is not Derrick’s son. But he looks just like him…like Derrick spit him out. It’s not fair!” Vivian screamed, hitting the steering wheel with her hand. “We’ve tried to live a good life, follow the word, do what’s right. First, Robin brings her crazy ass into town, and now this. What is the devil going to throw at us next?” She looked at Tai for answers that Tai didn’t have.

  The normally calm, cool, and collected Vivian Elise continued to rant. Tai completely understood. Now, it was her turn to soothe a troubled friend. “God won’t put on you more than you can bear, Vivian. I can understand how hard this is for you right now. But fear not. Trust God.”

  Vivian’s heart clutched as she heard the door open. She sat in the den, alone, curtains drawn. D-2 and Elisia had gone shopping with Aunt Tai, in Vivian’s car. Tai had taken her packed things and made reservations to spend the night in a nearby hotel. She would wait t
here, with the kids, until Vivian let her know the coast was clear to bring them home.

  “Hey, baby,” Derrick asked, kissing Vivian on the forehead. “I called you earlier, but you didn’t answer. Did you leave your phone on silent again?” When Vivian didn’t respond, Derrick sat down beside her. “Is something wrong, Vivian? What are you doing sitting here in the dark?”

  Vivian turned to face her husband. “I need to ask you something, and I need a straight answer. I’ll explain why in a minute, but I need you to answer a question for me, honestly. Deal?”

  Derrick hadn’t seen Vivian this serious in a long time. But there was nothing he wouldn’t share with his wife. His answer was immediate. “Sure baby, deal.”

  Vivian took a deep breath. “Did you ever sleep with Tootie?”

  “Whoa,” Derrick said, clearly taken aback. “Baby, where is this coming from?”

  “I’ll explain in a moment. Just answer me. Did you ever have sex with Tootie Janeé Smith? Yes or no?”

  Vivian barely breathed as she awaited the answer. Far away from Oxnard and the brown-eyed boy in the Best Buy store, she’d been able to be more rational. There were thousands, millions of boys that could resemble Derrick, she’d reasoned. How many brown-skinned boys had brown eyes? And what was so unusual about full lips and prominent cheekbones on a Black man? Those were common traits. She’d convinced herself that her initial reaction had been rash; that she’d jumped to conclusions, let her imagination work overtime. She could barely remember what the boy looked like now, and convinced herself that she’d gone overboard in her assumptions. She couldn’t believe she was being so silly. Why was she tripping, and involving Derrick as well? She needed to start the conversation over, and not assume she knew something she didn’t.

  “Yes.”

  Wait. Did I just hear Derrick say yes? “Excuse me?” Derrick had answered softly. Maybe Vivian had misunderstood.

  “Yes, Vivian,” Derrick said clearly. “I slept with Tootie. Half the basketball team slept with Tootie. But, baby, why are you asking me this? It was a long time ago, before I met you.”