More Sport for our Neighbours
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More Sport for our Neighbours
Being further extracts from the commonplace books of
Francis Bennet, Esq. of Longbourn, in Hertfordshire.
Copyright © 2016
Ronald McGowan
All rights Reserved
Table of Contents
DEDICATION
Foreword
The Story so Far
Chapter One: New Arrivals.
Chapter Two : Calling the Banns
Chapter Three : Celebrations
Chapter Four : Consultations
Chapter Five : Dinner at Longbourn
Chapter Six : Breakfast at Longbourn, Dinner at Derby
Chapter Seven : The High Peak
Chapter Eight: The Joys of Pemberley
Chapter Nine : Buxton
Chapter Ten : Taking the Cure
Chapter Eleven : Derbyshire Society
Chapter Twelve :News from the North
Chapter Thirteen :Preparations
Chapter Fourteen: Domestic Manners of the Bingleys
Chapter Fifteen : Modern Travel in the North
Chapter Sixteen:Future Travel in the North
Chapter Seventeen : the Water of Tyne
Chapter Eighteen : All cities have their backwaters
Chapter Nineteen : The Old 68th
Chapter Twenty: Newcastle
Chapter Twenty-one : From Tyne to Wear
Chapter Twenty-one :A Reunion
Chapter Twenty-two : The Adoration of the Lamb
Chapter Twenty-three : Sunderland Spaw
Chapter Twemty-four : News from the South
Chapter Twenty-five : The French Spy
Chapter Twenty-six : The King’s Writ
Chapter Twenty-seven : Reading the Riot Act
Chapter Twenty-eight : Due Process of Law
Chapter Twenty-nine : Repercussions
Chapter Thirty : Grey Towers
Chapter Thirty-one : The Patrimony of St. Cuthbert
Chapter Thirty-two : The Consolations of Family Life
Chapter Thirty-three : Return to Derbyshire
Chapter Thirty-four : The Far Side of the World
Chapter Thirty-five : Farewell to the North
Afterword :Hartlepool Hangus
You may care to try these samples of two of Ronald McGowan’s other books.
Miss Dashwood's Dilemma
The Journal of Miss Jane Fairfax
DEDICATION
To Linda, who has waited so long.
Foreword
My previous effort at telling Mr. Bennet’s story, To Make Sport for our Neighbours, received, on the whole, gratifyingly positive reviews. A thread running through all of them, however, was that readers would have preferred more Mr. Bennet and less Jane Austen. This is not to say that they preferred my prose to Miss Austen’s. How could they? The taste of this barbarous, modern age may be corrupt, but cannot be quite so corrupt as that. What the critics meant to say, I think, is that in the section of my book which deals with the events covered by the inimitable Pride and Prejudice, I leant too heavily on Jane’s own narrative.
I cannot deny the validity of this criticism. I make no excuse for it, for there can be none. But there was a reason.
I thought long and hard about how to deal with this period, and eventually concluded that, as I could not possibly hope to equal, or even approach the quality of the original prose, I could do no better than to include as much of it, suitably edited and watered down to suit the viewpoint of my narrator, as seemed appropriate. As Mr. Collins might have said, “What benefit would there be in alteration?”
I apologise to readers who may have felt offended by this. There was no intention to deceive. I am not so foolish as to think that anyone could confuse my own efforts, lame and halting as they are, with those of the immortal Jane.
This lamentably slim volume is an attempt to make up for past sins, and to write the story that perhaps I should have written from the first
Those who have read the previous book may feel free to ignore the synopsis of the opening chapters of ‘To make Sport for our Neighbours’ which is included for the benefit of newcomers. In fact, in the name of Mr. Bennet, I beseech you to do so, since I will inevitably offend as many as I please in my selection of what to omit and what to include.
Thereafter the Elizabeth-Darcy, Jane-Bingley and Lydia-Wickham stories will be dealt with more cursorily.
Instead, the reader will be entertained, I hope, by full reports of Lizzie’s and Jane’s weddings, so disappointingly omitted from Miss Austen’s accounts, and by the further efforts of Mrs. Bennet, Mary and Kitty in the marriage stakes. The scope of these endeavours will now extend to Derbyshire, where Mrs. Bennet’s reactions to Pemberley may be anticipated, and the Darcy family library may hold treasures for Mr. Bennet. Having gone so far north, the Bennet family may even venture to the wilds of Newcastle, where we may expect to encounter more old friends.
To say more at this juncture would be to raise expectations which may be all too sadly disappointed.
Let us all read on, therefore, if not in expectation then, at least, in hope.
Other books by Ronald McGowan
Jane Austen Amplifications :
Pride Unprejudiced
To Make Sport for our Neighbours
Colonel Brandon’s Secret
The Journal of Miss Jane Fairfax
Naples to Northanger
Mansfield Restored
Miss Dashwood’s Dilemma
The Golden Apple Sequence :
The Judgement of Paris
The Wrath of Achilles
Others :
What I did in My Holidays
Barset Revisited
You can sample the first chapters of “Miss Dashwood’s Dilemma” and of “The Journal of Miss Jane Fairfax” at the end of this book.
The Story so Far
My previous attempt to do justice to Mr. Bennet of Longbourn told of how he had to give up his academic career to take over the Bennet Estate when his elder brother died and he became the heir.
It relates what else this entailed, chief of which was marriage and the begetting of further heirs to Longbourn. How in the course of his efforts to do so he met Miss Gardner, who was to become the Mrs. Bennet of ‘Pride and Prejudice’, and how their marriage progressed through five daughters and never a sign of a son forms the subject of the first part of the book.
The events related by Miss Austen herself make up the principal portion of the second part, before the third part takes us to the seaside and romances for the remaining Miss Bennets.
This book covers the years – or, rather, a few months in those years, after the great society weddings of Jane and Elizabeth, and begins just before those grand affairs, providing details which Miss Austen no doubt considered too trivial for her august pen, and then moves quickly on to how the Bennets managed to provide amusement for themselves, and their neighbours, without the assistance of the two elder sisters.
Now, read on.
Chapter One: New Arrivals.
"My dear Mr. Bennet," said Mrs. Bennet to me one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"
This was the sort of remark with which it was not uncommon for my darling wife to open the day. I felt sure that I knew what was coming, and had no wish to encourage it, and so I replied only that I had not.
"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."
Knowing when to be deaf is an essential ingredient for a long and what is commonly called happy marriage. I therefore made no answer, although I had very little hope that the matter would be allowed to drop.
Sure enough,<
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"Do not you want to know who has taken it?" she cried impatiently.
"You want to tell me, my dear, and I can have no objection to hearing it."
This, as I feared it would be, was invitation enough.
"Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week."
There may have been more such – indeed, I dare say there was – but this was as far as my attention, and my recollection would take me. Eventually the torrent subsided, and it became obvious that I was expected to say something.
"What is his name?" I asked.
"Bingley."
"Is he married or single?"
"Oh! single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!"
"How so? How can it affect them?"
"My dear Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them."
"Is that his design in settling here?"
"Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes."
"I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley might like you the best of the party."
"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."
"In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."
"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood."
"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."
"But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general you know they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not."
"You are over scrupulous surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying which ever he chuses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy."
"I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference."
"They have none of them much to recommend them," I replied; "they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters."
"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves."
"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least."
"Ah! you do not know what I suffer."
"But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood."
"It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come since you will not visit them."
"Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all."
Having obtained the desired effect of silence on the part of my better half, I applied myself to doing justice to luncheon. I had not intended to ride over to Netherfield for some days yet, but the news of the Lucas and Long involvement inspired me to forestall my rivals. Unmarried daughters are not quite ten a penny in the neighbourhood of Meryton, but there are certainly enough of them to make a father uneasy as to the shortage of eligible bachelors. I admit to no great desire to part with any of my daughters, least of all with Lizzy, but I also admit that I am not, alas, immortal, nor am I in a position to bestow a fortune upon each – or even any - of my girls. All hopes of an heir apparent having been long abandoned, I could not help but be aware that they would be almost destitute upon my death unless they could make a suitable marriage in the mean time.
It was in this knowledge that I set out to pay a call upon this Mr. Bingley. I had no great hopes of him when I set out, and they were no greater when I returned, but at least I had done my duty.
All the world – or at least, all Meryton, which for day to day purposes is much the same thing – knows what became of that ride, and how many of her daughters Mrs. Bennet subsequently had the pleasure of marrying. It is a subject which arouses in me feelings of a very mixed kind, and I do not propose to dwell upon the events of a very mixed kind which led to these happy outcomes.
I declined to share in Mrs. Bennet’s extravagant and excessive rejoicing at the time, but permitted myself to remark,
“If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure.”
Chapter Two : Calling the Banns
If only more young men had come for Mary and Kitty! But the sad truth was that we had to be content with the miraculous marriages of but three daughters out of five for a quite unconscionable time. The Darcy connection notwithstanding, eligible young men prepared to marry young ladies without prospects were no thicker on the ground than they had been before.
Meanwhile, we had the happy duty of marrying our two eldest.
Mrs. Bennet, as might be expected, was in raptures at the prospect.
“Two daughters married!” she could not be restrained from exclaiming night and morn.
“Two daughters married! Two weddings to plan! What parties we shall have! How green Lady Lucas will be! Everyone must be invited. Everyone! All our friends, all our neighbours, all our relatives, and all the bridegrooms’ connections too, however grand they may be, even Lady Catherine. We shall not have room for them all here for the wedding breakfast! We shall have to engage the assembly rooms at St Alban’s! But the church will not be big enough neither. We must engage the Abbey! How I shall glory over the Lucases and the Longs! And twice over, once for Jane and once for Lizzie! Think of that, Mr. Bennet, just think of that!”
“I do think of it, Mrs. Bennet. And before you engage any, or all of these venues for your daughters, you must hear this. There shall be no talk of two such celebrations this same year. Our resources simply will not admit of the expense. Jane was first come, and she shall be first served. It will do Lizzie no harm to wait a twelvemonth or more, and might, perhaps, teach that suitor of hers a little patience and forbearance. And, in any case, I shall be glad of Lizzie’s company a while longer. To lose the only two rational creatures in the household, will be bad enough. To lose them both at the same time is not to be countenanced.”
“But Mr. Bennet, how can you say such a thing! Jane to marry and Lizzie to wait so long! They will be so disappointed. What will the girls say? What will everyone say? What will Mr. Darcy say?”
“I care not what they say, the affairs you propose are completely out of the question. I leave to you the happy duty of informing your daughters. If they wish to make their views known to me, they will find me in my library.”
And thither I retreated, knowing full well that words would yet be said on this subject, but for once having the satisfaction of seeing the companion of my life speechless.
I had counted on seeing Jane and Lizzie in my library before very long, knowing that in that place there was at least a chance of being able to talk to them without constant interruptions from their mother. It took rather longer than I had expected, but, in the end, I was not disappointed.
Very soon my daughters stood before me, in solemn deputation.
“Papa,” said Lizzie, eve
r more prepared to come forward than her sister, “we are come to beg you to repent of your decision not to allow us both to marry this year. We make no mention of our personal concerns, but our mother vows she will take to her bed and die of the shame, and not speak another word to you until she does.”
“Your mother has survived such vows before, my dears,” I replied, “you must remember how she never spoke another word about Mr. Bingley after he first left the neighbourhood, Jane, and, Lizzie, how often did she never speak to you again after you refused Mr. Collins?”
“Believe me, I am sensible of the pain this news must cause you, the one from disappointment, the other from embarrassment, and regret it deeply. But I see no way of meeting the sort of expenditure that your mother has in mind, unless, indeed, we put Longbourn up for rent and all go into lodgings in Meryton, for you know I may not sell the estate, nor any part of it. I believe we none of us would relish such a prospect, your mother least of all, and I cannot imagine that it would be acceptable to Mr. Darcy, or even to Mr. Bingley.”
“I am sure Mr. Bingley would be happy to pay a share of the cost,” said Jane.
“Yes, and Mr. Darcy, too,” added Lizzie, “perhaps even all of it.”
“I am not so sure of your lovers as you are, my dears. Besides, the cost of the wedding ceremony and the wedding breakfast is borne by the father of the bride. That is well established. I will not have it said that I do not live up to my responsibilities. I am already deeply indebted, moreover, to Mr. Darcy for the cost he incurred in bringing about the marriage of your sister Lydia, and I do not chose further to extend that obligation. I am sorry, Lizzie, but in a year’s time I should have enough put by to give you the wedding you deserve. If Mr. Darcy is worth having, he will wait for you.”