A Passionate Affair

by Anne Mather

  Bettina took Cassandra’s coat and handed her a glass of champagne, before leaving her to make her own way into the throng. It was impossible to perform formal introductions when people gathered together in groups, and besides, those nearest the door had turned to see who it was, and Cassandra thankfully recognised a familiar face.

  ‘Hi, Cass!’ Jennie Ainsley was Liz’s secretary, and they had met on several occasions at parties like this. ‘You’re late. Liz was beginning to think you weren’t going to turn up. Come and join us!’

  ‘Thanks,’ Cassandra smiled, encompassing the group of people surrounding the younger girl. Richard Jeffries, Liz’s editor, was there, as well as one or two younger men, and Pamela Shaftesbury, who also worked for the magazine. ‘The roads are so bad,’ she explained ruefully. ‘It took twice as long as it normally does.’

  ‘You’ve driven over?’ Richard looked surprised.

  ‘Well, it’s so hard to get a taxi later,’ Cassandra agreed. ‘Besides, I didn’t realise it was freezing so hard until I almost collided with a bus!’

  ‘I walked,’ said Jennie, grimacing. ‘It was easier than waiting for a bus. I only hope I find someone to take me home.’

  Cassandra shared her laughter, and then Liz was beside them, her lips warm against Cassandra’s cold cheek. ‘Darling, you’re here! I didn’t see you. You should have told me.’

  ‘I’ve only been here about five minutes,’ explained Cassandra apologetically. ‘It was pretty hairy driving. Jennie was just saying she walked.’

  ‘You should have taken a cab,’ declared Liz, linking her arm and drawing her away from the group. ‘Come on, I have someone I want you to meet. You remember I told you about Dave Adams?’

  It was a pleasant way to spend an evening, Cassandra reflected later, as she helped herself to another chicken vol-au-vent. Now that she was here, she was not sorry she had come, and she had managed to avoid the escort Liz had chosen for her. She had danced with several young men without becoming entangled with any of them, but now, with the lights lowered to offer a discreet intimacy, she thought it was safer to stay by the buffet tables.

  ‘Dance with me?’

  The quietly spoken invitation came from behind her, and she turned to make her refusal. ‘I’m sorry,’ she was beginning, ‘but I don’t—–’ when all the breath seemed to leave her lungs. The man standing behind her was disturbingly familiar, and remembering Liz’s reactions to him, she half suspected she was hallucinating. But the cool breath that blew in her face was human, and so too were the cold fingers that curved round the nape of her neck.

  ‘You!’ she breathed, still half bemused by his appearance. ‘What are you doing here? Did Liz invite you? I don’t believe it! She wouldn’t have done that. Not when—–’

  ‘Relax,’ said Jay, drawing her towards him, and although inside she was protesting, she was too shocked to resist. ‘Your friend is unaware of my presence at this moment. I gatecrashed. Does that answer your question? I wanted to speak to you.’

  His last words seemed to bring Cassandra to an awareness of what she was doing, and her palms pressed insistently against the rough material of his jacket. He was not dressed for a party. His shirt was made of coarse cotton, and his jerkin was denim. As his hands slid down to her hips, compelling her against him, she guessed his pants were denim, too, the hardness of his thigh muscles pressing against her leg.

  ‘I think you should leave,’ she whispered fiercely, not wanting to cause a scene, but unwilling to allow his intrusion to go unchallenged.

  ‘If you’ll come with me,’ he conceded, looking down at her in the dim light, and in spite of herself Cassandra’s pulses fluttered at the narrow-eyed sensuality of his gaze.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ she said, dragging her eyes away from his face and concentrating instead on the unbuttoned neckline of his shirt. But the glimpse of fine body hair just visible above the opening made her senses tingle, and she stepped back from him abruptly, aware of an instinctive response.

  It was the amount of alcohol she had drunk, she thought weakly, remembering the glasses of champagne she had swallowed on an empty stomach. Nevertheless, she could not deny the surge of excitement his appearance had engendered, and weakness, like a palsy, was invading her lower limbs.

  ‘I wanted to apologise,’ he said huskily, stepping near to her again, and although Cassandra moved her head from side to side, the press of people around them made it difficult for her to keep a distance between them.

  ‘To me?’ she queried, glancing anxiously about her, and his mouth slanted ruefully as he acknowledged her bitter scepticism.

  ‘I didn’t know,’ he said, and now she looked up at him with evident perplexity. ‘Did you hear what I said?’ he demanded, bending his head so that his lips brushed her ear-lobe. ‘I didn’t know,’ and in her agitated state she was almost prepared to swear his tongue touched her skin. ‘No one bothered to tell me that your husband was dead!’

  Cassandra blinked. ‘But—you must have known—–’

  ‘No.’ He shook his head.

  ‘You rang my mother-in-law’s flat!’

  ‘Exactly.’ His eyes were disturbingly intent. ‘When I found the number in the directory, I naturally assumed you must be divorced. It’s listed in your mother-in-law’s name,’ he explained. ‘When she told me you had a flat in another part of the building, I inferred you were still living with your husband.’

  ‘Did you?’ As his hands curved over her shoulders, flexing against the soft pile of the velvet, Cassandra strove to retain her detachment. ‘Yet you still came to the office the next day—you still asked me to have lunch with you!’

  ‘I know it.’ His thumb brushed sensuously against her jawline, and the room seemed suddenly lacking in air.

  ‘It—it didn’t bother you,’ she persisted, her voice annoyingly husky. ‘My being married, I mean.’ She took a deep breath, and went on: ‘I’d heard you had no scruples about getting what you wanted.’

  Jay’s mouth twisted. ‘Someone’s done a good job of crucifying my character.’ His eyes darkened. ‘Believe it or not, but I have never attempted to break up anyone’s marriage.’

  ‘You have been involved with married women,’ Cassandra accused him tensely, shivering as his finger probed the collar of her suit. ‘I suppose you’re going to say they were to blame!’

  ‘No.’ Jay’s hand slid behind her head, tangling in the silvery blonde waves that wrapped themselves treacherously about his fingers. ‘But they knew what they were doing.’

  ‘That’s very convenient, isn’t it?’ Cassandra shifted her head, but she couldn’t free herself. ‘I suppose it didn’t occur to you that their husbands might have objected!’

  Jay expelled his breath heavily, his lean features suddenly grimly etched in the subtle lighting of the room. ‘Look,’ he said, and his voice was harsher than she had heard it, ‘I didn’t come here to discuss my indiscretions. I came to find you, to apologise, which I have, and now I want to get out of here and I want you to come with me.’

  ‘Why should I?’ Cassandra was stubbornly insistent. ‘You think this excuses you? You—you were rude—and insulting—and nothing you can say can alter that.’

  ‘Don’t you want to know why I was rude and insulting?’ he demanded, forcing her head back so that she had to look up at him. ‘Hell, I don’t do this kind of thing for fun! As it happens, I’ve never done it before.’

  ‘You expect me to believe you—–’

  ‘I don’t give a—if you believe me!’ he retorted, using a word Cassandra had last heard in Mike’s vocabulary. ‘God, I don’t even know why I came here! This really isn’t my scene.’

  ‘So why don’t you go?’ she countered, wincing as his fingers were tugged out of her hair. ‘I don’t know how you found me. I can’t believe Liz would give you that information.’

  ‘She didn’t. Your mother-in-law did,’ stated Jay roughly.

  Thea!’ Cassandra gazed at him. ‘You went to see Thea?�
��

  ‘If that’s your mother-in-law’s name, yes.’ He moved his shoulders dismissingly. ‘I wanted to ask her your address. She explained that you weren’t home.’

  Cassandra understood now. She could imagine Thea’s reaction to such an attractive male. It was typical of her to act first and ask questions afterwards.

  Now she linked her fingers together and said tightly: ‘I’m sorry, but you’ve had a wasted journey.’

  ‘Have I?’ He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jerkin. ‘Don’t you accept my apology?’

  ‘Your apology comes a little late,’ declared Cassandra firmly. ‘You’d better go, before Liz sees you.’

  ‘Believe it or not, I don’t much care if Liz sees me,’ he retorted shortly. Then: ‘At least, see me off the premises.’

  She hesitated. ‘Oh—all right.’

  As luck would have it, Liz was occupied at the other side of the room as they made their way to the door. Several people, particularly the girls present, gave Jay an interested appraisal as he passed, and Cassandra knew she would have to face some awkward questions when Liz heard of it. Still, she could honestly say she had not invited him, and the rest of the story need not be mentioned.

  In the entry, away from prying eyes, she waited impatiently for him to leave. She would have opened the door for him, except that it would have looked too obvious. He would imagine she did not trust herself to be alone with him, which was both ridiculous and untrue. She had been married, for heaven’s sake! Her experiences with Mike should have equipped her to deal with any situation. But she had to admit Jay Ravek was not like Mike, and his nearness was disruptive.

  ‘Goodnight, then,’ he said at last, removing his hands from his pockets.

  ‘Goodnight.’ Cassandra’s response was stilted, and it was difficult to sustain an appearance of indifference when her emotions were so unstable. She was intensely aware of him, of the long brown fingers attaching the two sides of his jerkin, running the zip half up his chest, of his warm breath fanning her cheek, and the indefinable scent of his body. He checked his pockets, as if searching for his keys, and her eyes followed his movements with a helpless attention to detail. She didn’t want to notice the fine gold chain around his neck or the slim gold watch on his dark wrist, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The hair on his body, the brownness of his skin, disturbed her carefully schooled feelings, and most disturbing of all was her awareness of his maleness, taut against the skin-fitting tension of his pants. She couldn’t seem to stop looking at him, and her mouth felt as dry as sand.

  He was just a man, like any other man, she flayed herself inwardly, sweating with the effort to remain immune to his appeal. But no man had ever made her so aware of herself or aroused the desire to change her emotionally-starved existence.

  ‘What’s your name?’ he asked suddenly, and she realised while she had been lost in thought he had reduced the space between them. ‘Your mother-in-law called you—Cass? Is that right?’

  ‘Cassandra, actually,’ she got out unsteadily, and he smiled.

  ‘Cassandra,’ he repeated slowly. ‘Apollo’s Trojan princess. What do you prophesy for us, I wonder?’ and as if unable to resist the temptation, he lifted his hand and trailed his knuckles down her cheek.

  ‘Please—–’ she breathed, turning her head away from him, but the wall of the lobby was behind her, hard and unyielding.

  ‘You do,’ he countered softly, ‘you do—please me,’ and as she lifted her face helplessly, his mouth came down on hers.

  It was not an aggressive assault, just a series of light compelling kisses, that released Cassandra’s tension and caused her to respond. It was almost a relief to know what he intended, and the feather-light touch of his lips left her pliant and eager for more. It was almost a year since she had felt the caress of a man’s mouth, and much longer than that since it was done with gentleness and sensitivity. Where was the harm? she thought, bemused by her own senses, so long as he went no further . . .

  Jay was probing at her lips with gentle insistence, and although she had never enjoyed this kind of intimacy with Mike, it seemed the most natural thing in the world for her to let him have his way. Immediately, his mouth opened to accommodate hers, and his hands cradled her face, holding her captive. It was a tantalising experience. She was leaning against the wall now, but although she could feel Jay’s legs brushing hers, he did not allow his weight to rest against her. He seemed quite content to play with her mouth, his lips moving softly over hers, evoking a sensual reaction that robbed her of breath and incited her emotions.

  As the minutes passed, however, she became aware of a rising sense of frustration. For the first time in her life she felt a curious craving deep inside her, a craving that ran like liquid fire through her veins. Jay’s teasing kisses were only tormenting that need, and she knew she had to do something about it. With a little sound low in her throat, she lifted her hands and grasped his shoulders, fusing his mouth with hers.

  The parted ardour of her lips, combined with the yielding softness of her body, evoked a shuddering response. With a groan, Jay yielded against her, and her senses swam dizzily as his mouth moved deeply over hers. His kisses were demanding now, hungry and passionate, and she wound her arms around his neck, her nails raking the silky hair at his nape.

  When at last he tore his mouth from hers, it was to trail quick burning kisses across her cheek and down the delicate curve of her jawline. With his hands in the small of her back, sensuously stroking her spine, Cassandra could only give herself up to the exquisite sensations he was inspiring, her knees sagging weakly beneath his urgent assault.

  The heavy throbbing of his heart and the pulsating heat of his loins made her fiercely aware of his arousal, and when she turned her lips against his neck, she found his skin was moist with perspiration. It was an unwelcome discovery. It reminded her too well of other occasions when her husband had turned to her because there was no one else. Mike’s selfishness, his brutality, his egotism, had eventually destroyed any love she had ever felt for him, but she remembered his sweating lust and was chilled by it.

  Yet, even as a sense of panic rose inside her, she knew that this time it was different. Mike had never aroused the emotions Jay was arousing. He had never taken the time to awaken her dormant sensuality, or evoked any desire to respond to him as she was responding to Jay. She had never known what it was to want a man, and although she was afraid that her needs could never be assuaged, it was more, so much more, than she had believed herself capable of feeling.

  ‘I hope I’m not interrupting anything.’ Liz’s voice was half amused, half impatient, as if she resented the implication that they had abandoned her party in favour of this lobby. ‘Cass, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I knew it couldn’t be true, when Jennie told me she saw you leaving.’

  Cassandra, struggling desperately to reorientate herself, wondered if anyone but Liz could stand there and ignore the very obvious fact that she was interrupting something. She doubted anyone else would do such a thing, and with this thought came the troubled realisation that as yet Liz had not identified the man with her. Jay had his back to her, and no doubt he was the last person Liz would expect to see.

  Jay, too, had stiffened at the drawling sound of Liz’s voice. With a muffled imprecation he put his hands against the wall and pushed himself away from her, and Cassandra saw the mask of insolence slide down across his face. He was obviously preparing himself for Liz’s angry reactions, and Cassandra knew a feeling of intense loathing for the scene which must surely follow. If only it could have been avoided, she thought, as he turned to face their hostess, and she closed her eyes for a fleeting moment and offered up a little prayer.

  ‘Hello, Liz!’

  Jay’s casual greeting stole the moment of its thunder, but Cassandra, seeing the dawning fury in Liz’s face, knew she would not let this incident pass unchallenged.

  ‘Jay Ravek!’ she gritted, casting a brief but killing glance in Cassand
ra’s direction. ‘What the hell are you doing in my apartment?’

  ‘I—I invited him!’ Cassandra stepped forward jerkily, before Jay could reply. ‘You—you always say bring a friend, don’t you, Liz? And—and as Jay called me just after you did—–’

  Liz’s blue eyes were hard as agate. ‘Are you trying to tell me you’ve been seeing this louse, Cass?’

  ‘Jealous?’

  Jay’s ironic interjection was quickly superseded by Cassandra’s hasty explanation. ‘I—we—had lunch together on—on Wednesday,’ she averred a little breathily, keeping her eyes on Liz. ‘Oh, please, don’t be upset! I—I know what I’m doing.’

  ‘Do you?’ Liz was scornful.

  ‘It isn’t really anything to do with you, is it?’ Jay inserted mildly, and Liz gazed at him with burning frustration, evidently torn between the urge not to alienate Cassandra and the equally strong desire to have him thrown out.

  ‘We were just leaving anyway,’ Jay remarked, brushing back the swathe of dark hair that had fallen across his forehead with combing fingers. ‘Get your coat, Cass. I don’t think we’re welcome here.’

  ‘Cass is.’ Liz put a detaining hand on the girl’s arm. ‘Darling, you’re not leaving, surely! It’s only a little after ten!’

  Cassandra looked at Liz, then at Jay, and finally back to Liz again. She was torn, too, torn by the knowledge that if she went with Jay she would be committing herself to an unknown destiny, and in spite of her earlier conviction that he was not like Mike, her cooling blood was more cautious. It was too soon, her common sense asserted. She had only known of his existence for four days, and their actual contact could be measured in hours—or minutes. What if she was wrong? Liz’s feelings about him couldn’t hurt her, but her own could. What if what had happened between them didn’t happen again? Did she want that kind of sterile relationship outside of marriage any more than she had wanted it with Mike?