A Little Broken

by Juli Valenti

  “Fine,” Jessie sighed in agreement. She could admit when she’d been beat, and she couldn’t hold a candle to the manipulations of these men.

  Mr. C surprised her by clasping her hand gently.

  “Have a good time, Jess. You deserve it,” he said softly, before nodding goodbye to his nephew.

  Standing, Dominick held his hand out to her. “Come on, pretty lady. Let’s blow this pancake stand.”

  Jessie stared at his hand, unsure if she should take it. Her uncertainty must have shown on her face because Dominick stepped a little closer to her.

  “It’s okay, Jessie. It’s just a hand. It’s just coffee. No big deal. Well, except for the coffee. Coffee is a big deal.” He wiggled his hand a little bit, and as a small chuckle escaped her, she placed her hand in his. She gripped it, holding on tightly, and wanted, for once, to not just let go.

  Chapter Ten

  As the pair made their way out of the diner, hand in hand, Dominick stopped for a moment.

  “So, since you don’t get in cars with strange men, I figured we can walk to the Starbucks down the way. Is that alright with you?”

  “Yes, that will do,” she said, surprised that he wouldn’t mind walking.

  He tugged on her hand gently, and they walked side by side in the quiet of the night. Jessie warred in her head on what to say. It had been so long since she’d had a real conversation, and she was the least exciting person to be around. There was a time that she would have talked to a wall, even if it didn’t talk back, but not anymore. Now, she had no idea what was going on in the news, knew of no movies being released, and couldn’t begin to tell you what songs were big on the radio. She decided to keep quiet and let him talk. After all, he’s the one who wanted to go for coffee so badly anyway. But he didn’t. Dominick just held her hand, and led her down the sidewalk.

  While they walked, Jessie noticed an elderly couple walking together, on the opposite side of the street. The woman seemed to be struggling a bit, leaning on her cane with each step. Her husband walked close beside her. What caught Jessie’s eye was that despite her struggles, the woman kept her left hand firmly in her husband’s. The sight warmed her, and it wasn’t until Dominick pulled a bit on her that she realized she had stopped, and was watching the couple intently. He stopped pulling, and caught Jessie’s gaze to the couple.

  “That is love,” Dominick whispered, breaking the deep silence they had fallen into. “Timeless, true and unending. Do you see how his hand, the one not holding hers, never quite falls to his side? He keeps it up, just in case she stumbles so he will have the chance to keep her from falling. Things like that? Give me hope.”

  They stood there, watching as the elderly man escorted the woman he loved across the street, and around a corner. Jessie sighed when she lost sight of them. There was something so touching, having watched the other couple. Dominick was right, they exuded unending love, and more importantly, the hope that she had long since lost.

  Smiling, she squeezed Dominick’s hand. He grinned back down at her, turned, and guided her to the Starbucks down the block. Though they said nothing else during the walk, it was in a perfectly comfortable silence.

  ***

  “Go ahead and sit down, I’ll get us some coffee. Any preferences?” Dominick asked, letting go of her hand.

  Shaking her head, she found a table by the glass windows that overlooked the street. While the cafe wasn’t packed, there were more people than she would’ve expected at ten o’clock on a random Wednesday night. A few were seated with laptops, typing frantically, at the bar area. Another was seated on a leather couch, curled with feet up, reading a book. The aroma of coffee beans and sugar was soothing and she smiled as she people watched.

  A large tray hitting the table startled Jessie out of her people watching. She looked to see at least a dozen different sizes of cups on it - tall hot drinks, small cold drinks, a couple frozen drinks. Dominick then put another tray filled with pastries, cookies, and other sugary goodies next to it. He smiled as he tried to arrange things so he could put straws, plates, and silverware on the table.

  “Well, you said you didn’t have a preference.” He looked sheepish as he said it.

  “So you decided it was a good idea to buy the whole store? Please tell me you didn’t just purchase a franchise, too.” She had no idea what most of it was, or even where to start with all of it.

  “Thought about it, decided against it. Figured it was bad form on a first date. Ladies first,” he said, motioning to the fiasco on the table.

  Jessie stared from Dominick to the assorted drinks. She figured she should choose her coffee before a snack, but couldn’t decide among the options. Apparently, coffee wasn’t just coffee at Starbucks. She struggled for a moment, and decided to tell him the truth.

  “I’m sorry. To be honest, I don’t handle making decisions very well. It’s a bit overwhelming, and as I don’t know what this is, why don’t you choose for me?” She held her breath, unsure of what he may think of her. What she didn’t tell him was that her inability to make decisions stemmed from not caring for so long.

  He looked at her for a long moment, searching her face for something. Jessie wasn’t sure what he may or may not have seen, but he nodded and surveyed his purchases. He moved two of the drinks to the side, glanced out the window a moment, and moved another. He seemed to be weighing his choices, and it was driving her crazy watching him do it. Just pick one, for Heaven’s sake. It’s just coffee she thought to herself. Just as she was about to say to hell with it and grab the one closest to her, he placed a medium-sized cup in front of her.

  Without asking what it was, she took a sip. Heaven. She had just died and though undeserving, found Heaven. It was hot and sweet with the most perfect coffee flavor she’d ever tasted.

  “What is this?” she asked, in awe of its goodness. She took another drink, enjoying its rich flavor as it warmed her. Despite the warm night, she was always cold these days, and the warmth was wonderful.

  “That, is a Carmel Macchiato. Full of caramel goodness,” he informed her, chuckling a little. “You should see the look on your face. So happy, from a cup of coffee.”

  “For me, coffee has always just been coffee. Basic. The Mr. Coffee kind of coffee. All of this,” she motioned at the spread on the table, “is a little beyond me.”

  “Stick with me, Grasshopper. I can show you to the land of Oz. Well, the land of coffee Oz, at least. I lived off of Starbucks and Red Bull to get me through college.”

  She just looked at him blankly. She understood the reference to the Wizard of Oz, though she’d never actually seen the movie, but his talking about college had her worried that he was going to start prying into her life, into her past. She couldn’t blame him, that’s what people do to get to know someone. Jessie wasn’t sure how she was going to get through any sort of “get to know you” dances. Didn’t think very far ahead, did you? she asked herself. Could she even do this? She wasn’t sure, but it was too late to back out now.

  “Jessie? Earth to Jessie,” Dominick said, waving a hand in front of her face.

  “Ah, sorry. What did you say?” she asked, blinking quickly.

  “I asked what brought you to Florida?”

  “Oh. Um, a car. You know, I drove? It’s safer than flying, driving.” She tried to misdirect his question, hoping he wouldn’t push for more.

  “Ah. Trying to distract me from my question, with an irrational fear of flying? While I sympathize with being afraid of a ten-thousand-mile drop from the air, I still want to know what brought you here.” He was smiling when he said it, though it was tighter at the corners of his lips than before, strained.

  “I…” she started, almost answering, but changing her mind last minute. If she couldn’t tell him the truth, she could at least tell him another truth. Jessie knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid all of his questions, and that if she at least told him something, then at least she wouldn’t make him angry.

  “I’m trying,
Dominick. Here, with you, I’m trying. But, I feel like you should know that I’m just not…comfortable, answering super personal questions. I think maybe with time? I don’t know. I will understand if you want to leave, and consider me a complete loss-”

  “Jessie, stop talking. I’m not going to leave you alone just because you’re going through things. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I want to spend time with you. I want to know you, but on your terms. We can talk about anything. Hell, we can talk about the weather if you want to, and that’s a safe enough topic.” His face, so sincere, so earnest, had Jessie relaxing into her seat some.

  “The weather?” she asked, scrunching her face up. “The weather is really stinking hot. I keep forgetting that this is October. I mean, Halloween is coming up. It’s unnatural for it to still be so hot. Is it always like this?”

  Dominick stared at her for a moment, and proceeded to burst out laughing. His laugh was deep, delighted, his eyes sparkling with it. Jessie realized that he had very kind eyes – how could she not have noticed them before? They were warm honey, with flecks of yellows and reds, like autumnal leaves.

  “Why are you laughing at me?” Her lips were involuntarily turning upwards as she asked him. She couldn’t help it, his amusement was infectious.

  “I’m not laughing at you, per se. I’m more laughing at the fact that you were able to talk so much about the weather here. I guess living here, I take advantage of it as the normal. To answer you, yes. October is always this bloody hot – Do you like Halloween?”

  His switch from the weather to the costumed holiday jumbled her thoughts for a second, though she recovered quickly. You’re getting the hang of this she said to herself.

  “Regardless of history and Druid beliefs, I still believe that Halloween was created by candy companies. What better way to boost sales than to make children knock on your door asking for some? Of course you can’t say no, because then you feel bad,” she said, pursing her lips at the thought of trick-or-treat duty. She meant it when she said she had always felt bad. There had only ever been one year that she had forgotten to buy candy and every sad face had ingrained itself into her brain. She had sworn it would never happen again.

  “So, you’re not a fan then?” Dominick asked again, his face falling.

  “Oh no. I just like to sound bitter about being forced to buy chocolate.” Jessie smiled, “I’m still the perpetual eight year old. I still dress up, even when I have nowhere to go.”

  “Well, do you have plans? Other than playing dress-up like the other kids?” She was relieved to see that his face was happy again. For some reason she couldn’t explain, she didn’t like the look he got in his face when he was disappointed. He looked…almost lost that way.

  “I’ll probably be working. Mr. C. hasn’t posted the schedule for the holiday yet, but I’m assuming since the other girls probably have plans, it’ll be me passing out coffee to other adults with adolescent tendencies,” she winked as she said it, slightly mocking herself.

  “Well…I know of this pretty epic Masquerade Gala going on. Maybe you’d like to go with me? You could leave candy in front of your door, so you won’t feel bad for the kiddies, and you would actually have somewhere to go when all dressed up as someone else for the night.”

  Jessie looked at Dominick. Really looked at him, probably for the first time since she’d met him. His hair, so black it almost looked blue, fell around his face, curls hitting his temples. In the short time they’d been talking, she’d noticed that he would shake his head on occasion, moving the hair away from his eyes. His tanned skin, accentuated his strong cheekbones, and the thumbprint dimple in his chin. Jessie would have been blind, deaf and dumb to not realize that he was a catch. A catch that had purposely hooked himself on her line, the line she never even cast out into the water.

  Was she ready for this? Could she start dating? Certainly it hadn’t been enough time. Her divorce had just gone through three weeks ago, expedited by a sympathetic judge. Her heart, her trust, her life, still remained in tattered ribbons that no glue or tape or stitching could put back together. Knowing this, though, she also realized that she didn’t want to say no to Dominick. She wanted to go with him. To talk to him more, like this. Relaxed.

  “Jessie? It’s just a glorified costume party, really. No pressure. Well, okay, a little pressure, but not a lot. I’d really like you to go with me. We could complain about the weather the whole time? Or snicker at the awful costumes we see…you know, all the good stuff…” his words trailed off, as he searched her face for some hope.

  It was the hope she saw there that had her throwing her caution to the wind. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” he asked, eye brows high. He seemed surprised that she had agreed to go. Hell, she was surprised.

  Nodding, she answered, “As long as I’m not working, I’ll go with you. Do we have to coordinate costumes? If we are, I’m totally picking them. Rule number three hundred sixty-four of Halloween and costuming: Never let men choose coordinating costumes. Been there, done that. I refuse to be a Playboy Bunny on the arm of a fake Hugh Hefner again…”

  Her insides melted at the sound of his rich laugh. With his laugh ringing in her ears, she realized that for the first time tonight, she’d lied to him. As long as she was on his arm? She’d dress up as anything he wanted.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Jessie, do you want to hang out tonight? I know it’s Halloween, but we could totally rent some awful slasher movies or something – we could watch them and laugh at the dumb girls who run up the stairs instead of out the door. I already have candy that we can pass out to trick-or-treaters, too.” Toni was talking fast, as though she had rehearsed the proposal and was afraid Jessie would say no. Unfortunately, she was going to say no.

  “Thanks for the offer, Tones, but no thank you,” she said, busying herself after checking her watch for the hundredth time. The same five minutes had passed since she checked a second ago, but you never know, it could have changed.

  Toni sighed loudly, shaking her dark hair and sending unruly strands flying around her face. Jessie glanced at her, noticing that her friend was actually really petite, though still curvy. The thought shocked her a little, as her personality, and attitude, made her seem bigger.

  “Alright, Jessie…seriously. What is up with you? You never want to hang out or and do anything. You don’t even have a cell phone! I worry about you. You walk to and from work, regardless of if it is dark or not,” her friend said, sounding exasperated and placing a hand on her out-cocked hip

  “I’m alright, Toni. I’m sorry you worry. I like to walk, and I have no need for a cell phone.”

  Jessie was telling her coworker the truth. No one was really going to call her – except possibly Dominick or Mr. C, and of course, Toni. Not even her parents. When she’d left Fayetteville, she hadn’t thought that anyone would be upset with her for leaving, but she’d been wrong. Her parents didn’t want to speak to her. They felt used, manipulated, and hurt. It was hard enough losing their grandson, but the way she left, made it that much worse for them. She felt bad about that, especially now, and regardless of the amount of times she’d tried to write them and explain further, the words just wouldn’t come. How could she tell them that she felt that they blamed her for the death of her son? How could she explain to them the guilt that wracked her daily, that she couldn’t keep her beautiful boy with her? They would never understand. No one would. Which is why she let them stay angry with her, it was easier. Their anger was easier to bear than disappointment.

  “So, what are you going to do tonight then? You going to play troll and hide under your drawbridge all night?” Toni sounded exasperated with her, but the troll analogy had Jessie smiling.

  “Actually, I sort of have plans.”

  “You have…plans?” The disbelief in Toni’s voice would have given her away, even if the look she gave Jessie hadn’t already.

  “Yes. You know, when you and someone agree to a time, and then me
et? Sometimes you can write these down, so you don’t forget. On a calendar even. I hear doing that makes them even more official.” Even Jessie could hear the teasing humor in her words. “I don’t have a calendar though…Instead, I wrote it on my order book. See?” Jessie leaned over, pointing to the writing on the back of the pad. It read:

  DON’T FORGET PLANS AT 7:30, HALLOWEEN

  “Who wrote that? That’s not your writing,” was all Toni could say to her.

  Toni was right, and entirely too observant for her own good. When Jessie had come to work the day after her coffee téte á téte with Dominick, the writing had magically appeared on her pad. It was written in neat block lettering, not at all what she would have expected from his handwriting. She had smiled like crazy at it, until a coworker had bumped her, scared her, and asked her why she’d been so happy. After that, she’d simply put it back in her pocket, and tried to forget it was there. It hadn’t worked. She’d been unconsciously running her finger over the lettering for days.

  “My date.”

  Her coworker’s eyes grew round, and she squeaked a high-pitched noise of excitement. At least, Jessie sure hoped it was excitement. If Toni was choking on something, she wasn’t sure she could remember how to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Crap.

  “You okay?” Jessie asked her, just making sure. Yeah, she was a little paranoid these days.

  “YOU HAVE A DATE! OH. MY. GOSH! Who’s it with?! Is it with Mr. C’s nephew? The hot one that Courtney sat in your section last week?!”

  “Dominick, yes.” Her words were clipped, but Jessie could feel the color flooding her cheeks. She hoped that Toni would calm down soon. Customers were starting to look their way, and she was embarrassed.

  “So, what are you guys doing?” Toni’s voice was still a bit loud, but at least she’d stopped screeching.