Decisions

by Ola Wegner

  Elizabeth ate with an appetite, the same as Darcy. The food was simple but tasty enough. Their new acquaintance, new for her at the least, talked much and enjoyed his wife. His language was colourful and very direct, but Elizabeth suspected that he did not care. His manners were friendly, but he was a terrible gossip. He spoke without restrictions about his own family but also friends, relatives, going into such details that it made Elizabeth wonder at his boldness.

  Elizabeth did not wish to remain in the earl’s company, but neither did she want to stay in the common room, which due to the terrible weather had gathered all kinds of patrons. Mr Percy’s abrasiveness diminished the attraction which she had initially felt for him. After only one hour in his company Elizabeth could barely stand Mr George Percy, Earl of Northumberland. Despite his beauty, his manners were highly irritating.

  She looked over at Darcy, begging him with her gaze to leave. He must have understood her, as he turned to his friend.

  “I have a favour to ask you, Percy. I heard from the owner that you took the very best rooms in this establishment. Would you mind conceding them to us? I do not care for myself, but Mrs Darcy deserves a good night’s rest.”

  Mr Percy showed no hesitation, instantly agreeing to Darcy’s request.

  Elizabeth was grateful to the man for his consideration to her comfort, but she still refused to spend the rest of the evening in the earl’s company. She excused herself soon after, feigning a headache. Darcy was left behind with his old school friend.

  ***

  On entering the room which according to the owner should be named the best in the entire inn, she initially thought that there must have been some mistake. Her trunk was there, though, and the room was indeed on the first floor. It was clean and rather large. There was a bed, table and three chairs. There was no dressing room, only a screen in the corner with a washbasin and chamber pot behind it.

  Drew was nowhere to be seen, thus Elizabeth checked if the door was closed and began to remove her warm travel dress. She opened the trunk to look for her nightclothes and toiletries.

  She was rather taken aback to see that it contained not only her wardrobe but also her husband’s. It seemed that Drew and Clayton, her husband’s valet, decided to put their clothes together. The rest of their possessions had travelled to the north the day before.

  Elizabeth took out her nightgown, robe and slippers and moved behind the screen.

  She was brushing her hair, seated on one of the chairs, when the knock on the door was heard. She ran to the door to open it. Darcy entered, looking very much worn out.

  “The servants found adequate rooms in the attic,” he informed her. “This place is full. I saw some very undesirable-looking people here. We should lock the door like you did before. I have told Drew and Clayton to stay where they are and that we shall manage on our own. It is not raining now and we should hope that the roads shall dry if only a little until the morning.”

  Elizabeth watched him removing his long boots. It took him some time without the help of his valet.

  She cleared her throat. “Are you staying here?”

  He looked at her as if she was dim-witted. His expression told him that indeed he was.

  “There is only one bed,” she said.

  “Yes,” he said, removing his coat, necktie and vest. “It is rather narrow, but you are so small that we should fit fine together.”

  “I thought that…”

  He waited patiently for her to finish.

  “I thought that there was another room for you.”

  “There is not. Are you going to throw me out to the stables?”

  “Of course not. You mentioned that there were rooms in the attic.”

  “The coachman, footman and Clayton took one. Drew is in the another.”

  “I could go to sleep with her, then.” She came up with the brilliant idea.

  “That is absolutely out of the question,” he told her. “Do you want to utterly ridicule me? I do not wish to hear gossip behind my back that you prefer to sleep with the maid rather than with me. To the world, we are sharing one bedroom.”

  “But… in the townhouse,” she whispered.

  “In London, the situation was quite different. My bedroom was right next to yours. The assumption was that I could easily visit you in there.”

  Elizabeth looked at the bed.

  “Are you afraid of me?” he asked. “I do not believe that I deserve it.”

  She shook her head. “I am not.”

  “Very well. I propose we retire for the night. We should get up very early tomorrow morning. Do not fret, I am too tired to make love to you. If I may remind you, I helped to push the carriage out of the dump today. Twice.” His eyes swept over her skimpy-clad form, his expression regretful. “I truly have no strength to deflower you here and now.”

  Elizabeth realized that there was no point in further discussion. She found his nightshirt in the trunk and handed it to him. He thanked her and disappeared behind the screen. Nor caring to braid her hair, she ran to bed and climbed under the covers. She drew the sheets up to her neck and waited.

  Elizabeth averted her eyes when Darcy came from behind the screen. She could hear him putting down the candles. She moved to the edge of the bed when he climbed under the covers next to her. He stretched on his back, instantly closing his eyes. She was very careful not to touch him, which caused her to hang dangerously close to the edge. As she watched his relaxed face, she wondered if he was truly sleeping. He did not even say good night to her.

  She turned onto her side, facing him.

  “Fitzwilliam?”

  “Yes?” he murmured tiredly.

  “Are you sleeping?”

  His lips turned in a small smile. “How do you think?”

  “Is he truly your friend?” she asked. “Lord Percy.”

  He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Hardly. There are only two men whom I can pronounce my friends, and you know both of them. Percy and I shared a bedroom in Eaton. I think that they put us together so I could have a good influence over him. It did not work, I am afraid.”

  “Does he always act in such a bold manner?”

  “He is usually much worse. Your innocent face curbed his language a little.”

  “Why did you tell him that Georgiana was nine when he asked you about your sister’s age?”

  “You cannot guess? He is the worst man whore I have ever met.”

  He turned onto his side, which caused Elizabeth to be pushed farther back.

  “That will not do,” he murmured. “Come here.” He put his arm around her middle and pulled her to him.

  Their faces were so close that she could feel his breath on her nose. He kissed her lightly on the lips. Her eyelashes fluttered.

  “There is one question I need to ask,” he said.

  “Yes?”

  “Taking into consideration the nature of our agreement, I wonder why you insist on wearing these highly indecent but very tempting nightgowns. Do you enjoy torturing me?”

  “My mother threw away all my old nightgowns, replacing them with the new ones which were supposed to be more enticing for you.”

  His body shook with laughter. “Her plan worked.”

  “I have ordered a dozen simple, modest, cotton nightgowns,” she assured him. “They are not ready yet, but I was promised that they should reach Pemberley next week at the latest.”

  “I am not entirely certain if I am pleased to hear it,” he said.

  They stared into each other’s eyes. His hand which rested on her waist moved up, cupping her bosom.

  Elizabeth went completely still. She stopped breathing as his hand pushed aside the thin material and touched her naked skin, his thumb running over the tip of her breast.

  “You are most lucky that I am that very tired,” he murmured. Soon she felt that he relaxed all over his body. His hand was not squeezing her bosom anymore but only lightly touched her skin.

  Elizabeth waited until she hea
rd his light snoring. Very slowly she moved onto her back. He murmured something and put his cheek against her shoulder. Elizabeth allowed him that, but she gently removed his hand from her chest and placed it on her waist. She stared at the dirty, water-damaged ceiling above her head. Despite the awkwardness of their current position, she fell asleep soon after Darcy.

  The morning came faster than she thought that it would. It seemed that she closed her eyes and the next moment Drew was shaking her lightly to wake her up.

  “Mistress, it is time to get up,” she announced.

  Elizabeth sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She wished to return to sleep but she knew that it was impossible. She threw the covers away to see that her gown was loosened around her shoulder, gaping to her waist. Mr Darcy must have had quite a view on waking up. Unless he had acted like a gentleman and averted his gaze.

  “Where is Mr Darcy?” she asked Drew.

  “He ate breakfast downstairs with Mr Clayton and the coachman. He said to allow you to sleep until six.”

  Elizabeth stepped behind the screen to tend to her necessities. She felt strangely sticky, especially on her stomach and chest. She must have sweated in her sleep even though it was a rather cold night and the small mantelpiece here gave little warmth. Darcy was like a furnace, though, it seemed.

  When she walked from behind the screen, there was a modest breakfast on the table and Drew was cleaning her cape.

  Less than half an hour later she was downstairs, in the large common room, which looked even less appealing in the daylight than yesterday.

  “Mrs Darcy.” She heard her husband’s unmistakable baritone. “Have you slept well?” he asked in a low voice as he stood by her.

  She stared into his dark eyes. “Very well, thank you.”

  He smiled. “As did I.”

  They walked out of the inn, to where their carriage was already awaiting them.

  Chapter Eight

  The rest of their journey was uneventful. They slept at excellent inns, renting the entire floor for their party only. It allowed Elizabeth much privacy, including her own bed as well as a separate dressing room. Darcy kept his word. He did nothing to invade her personal space.

  They reached Pemberley on Friday afternoon. It was a sunny day, and Elizabeth found the estate to be breath-taking dressed in all the vibrant colours of the fall. She was overwhelmed with the thought that such a wondrous place was now to be her home. She could now understand better the source of her Darcy’s pride.

  As Mrs Darcy, she was faced with many responsibilities, and took them very seriously. Darcy had ensured financial security to her family, for which she was very grateful to him. She was determined to repay his generosity with her hard work as Mistress of Pemberley. She conferred long hours with the housekeeper Mrs Reynolds, doing her best to learn the inner workings of the great house. There was also much correspondence to attend to. She did not expect that quite so many people wanted to write to her only because of her new status. Answering the letters, both business-related and personal, could take her as long as three hours every day. It was a rather mundane task, but it had to be done without delay, as the letters were coming daily. On many occasions, she was not certain how to reply to different people who asked her to give her name to various charity ventures. There were also folks who directly asked for money, citing their illnesses or reduced circumstances. Quite often Elizabeth chose to consult Darcy on such matters. Although there was a separate smaller study where Darcy’s mother, Lady Anne, had worked, Elizabeth preferred to stay in the library together with Darcy. He was close when she required his assistance. Consequently, they tended to spend several hours together in the library almost every day.

  Darcy appeared to be pleased with her company. She often caught him neither writing nor reading, just leaning back in his chair and gazing upon her.

  There was also Georgiana, her new sister. Quite early on, Elizabeth discovered that the girl was not as proud as Mr Wickham had claimed her to be. On the contrary, Miss Darcy was painfully shy. There was a strong emotional bond between Georgiana and Darcy. Elizabeth could compare it only with what she herself shared with her own sister, Jane.

  Elizabeth put much effort into creating good relations with her new sister. She knew that Darcy appreciated her efforts, and befriending Georgiana was hardly a hardship. Georgiana was a darling girl, sincere, sensitive and unassuming.

  Elizabeth attempted to keep herself very busy, filling up every hour of the day. It was a conscious effort on her part to escape from the troublesome thoughts which invaded her. The separation from her family and friends bothered her more than she was willing to admit even to herself.

  The first weeks of November held good weather, which allowed her to explore the grounds. She shed a fair share of tears during her solitary strolls, mourning not only her father but also the life which would never be hers again.

  ***

  It was nearly a month since Elizabeth had begun to call Pemberley her home. The end of November brought cool mornings and nights. The trees were completely bare and the thick fog covered the vast lawns, creating an air of mystery. She was informed by many that the snow could come any day, and she was awaiting it with not a small degree of curiosity and even impatience.

  Despite the colder weather, she still enjoyed her regular walks. One cloudy day she was taking a shortcut through the pastures. She was returning from the village where she had been visiting the wife of the parson, Mrs Thorn. Elizabeth found herself to be enjoying the woman’s company rather well. Mrs Thorn was closer to her age than any other of the ladies living in the vicinity of Pemberley. She enjoyed reading the same as Elizabeth did, which gave them the opportunity to discuss their favourite novels.

  As Elizabeth saw that she was approaching the stables, she decided to walk inside, hoping to meet her husband or Georgiana there. Both Darcys were excellent riders and were very passionate about horses. Elizabeth did not ride herself, but she enjoyed looking at the horses especially as they galloped, and those at the Pemberley stables were especially fine.

  She entered the long building through the main gate, finding it as clean and orderly as always. Even the odour was not as unpleasant as one would expect in such an establishment. Elizabeth considered that the Pemberley stables were amongst the best kept in the entire England. Each horse had his own separate stall with plenty of room and fresh hay. There was even a long rug which was spread through the length of the entire building, a detail which she had never seen before.

  As she walked farther inside, she could hear the soft neighing of the horses. There was no one in sight and the stalls were closed. She was about to turn on her heel and retreat when she thought to hear the sound of someone’s obvious distress. She moved a few yards farther along and saw that one of the stalls in the back was unbolted.

  She took a few more steps and gasped silently at what she saw. There were a man and young woman there engaged in a most intimate embrace.

  Elizabeth watched with rapid attention the couple’s activities. They were both standing, the man was pressing his companion into the corner of the box, kissing her deeply. Elizabeth could not see the girl’s face, but her chest was bared completely. The man’s hand was clenched possessively around one pale breast while his other hand was busily diving underneath the petticoats of his companion.

  Elizabeth stood there, staring at what she was witnessing utterly spellbound, not being able to walk away. Only when the man pushed his lover down on the hay and climbed over her, settling himself between her widely spread legs, did Elizabeth turn her gaze away. She walked back then turned and ran out of the building. Thankfully, the young couple was so very occupied with their lovemaking that she could hope that they failed to notice that they had just been observed.

  As she was outside, the cool wind hit her blazing cheeks. Her heart was racing and the scene which she had just seen stood stubbornly in front of her eyes, refusing to disappear.

  She walked towards the house
, feeling hot, bothered and disturbed. She should not have gone there.

  ***

  Elizabeth sat on the chair in front of the vanity, allowing Drew to brush her hair. Usually she preferred to do it herself, but tonight she did not protest when the maid began running the soft brush through her long tresses.

  “Drew,” she said, her voice quieter than usual.

  “Yes, Mrs Darcy,” the maid answered.

  “Do you know well all the maids who work in the house?” she asked.

  “Some of them better than the others. I cannot say to know any of them truly well, as I have been here only as long as you have.”

  Elizabeth turned her head to look up at the other woman. “Do you know if any of them has a sweetheart among the stable hands?” she asked, and seeing the maid’s confused expression, she added, “As I was returning from the village today, I thought to see one of the maids in the stables. I could not see her face, but she was wearing a maid’s attire.”

  “I have not heard any of it. It is of course possible, but not very smart. Mrs Reynolds is very strict. If one of the girls goes to the stables to meet with her sweetheart there she risks quite a lot, including her position. Mrs Reynolds does not tolerate girls who do not conduct themselves properly.”

  “I see,” Elizabeth said, looking back into the mirror. “Please put my hair in a braid.”

  Drew’s quick fingers were busy with pleating the hair, but the woman’s eyes met Elizabeth’s gaze in the reflection. “I can ask below stairs,” she said. “If one of the girls is involved with someone from the stables, she could not keep it a secret for a long time. It would not be hard for me to learn.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “No, Drew, thank you. It is not necessary for you to make enquiries.”

  “As you wish, my lady.”

  Soon Drew retired for the night. Elizabeth sat by the fire, awaiting Darcy. Today was Wednesday, and she expected that her husband would soon pay her one of his nightly visits.

  Elizabeth gazed around the large bedchamber. Even after all these weeks she could not quite accustom herself to the idea that this beautiful room was her own private apartment. Darcy’s bedroom was right next to it. The master and mistress apartments were divided and connected by a common sitting room.