Decisions

by Ola Wegner

  “My son, Colonel Fitzwilliam, spoke much to me about you. He thinks highly very of you. I was sorry to hear of your father’s untimely death. Please accept my sincere condolences.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “I hear that your interest lies in books. I do hope that you find our library adequate. Feel free to explore it.”

  “I will do that. Thank you. Do you like reading, your lordship?”

  The older gentlemen’s expression brightened. “I do. Indeed, I do, very much so.”

  “Do you prefer novels or poetry?”

  “My hobby is travel books. As I was a young man, I travelled much through Europe and outside it, but nowadays due to the war on the continent it is quite impossible.”

  “Please tell me about your journeys,” she begged, her dark eyes showing her interest in the subject.

  As the company sat at the dinner table later that evening, Darcy leaned to whisper into Elizabeth’s ear, “You made quite a conquest out of the earl. I have never seen him taken with any other young woman ever before.”

  “He is a charming gentleman,” she whispered back.

  “Not all people share your opinion, I assure you.”

  “Well, he was most kind to me.”

  “I am glad,” he said. “I truly am.”

  Elizabeth smiled. She liked to know that Darcy was pleased with her. Her fears concerning her visit to Matlock Castle proved to be entirely unfound.

  ***

  In the first week of their visit at Matlock Castle, it was snowing heavily for three days, keeping Elizabeth and the rest of the company inside the house. It was no wonder that when one morning after waking up she saw the bright blue skies, she was determined to make the very best of the excellent weather conditions.

  After breakfast, she had Drew prepare her warmest attire, and before long she was out in the snow-coated garden. She inhaled the fresh air, enjoying the feel of sunrays on her face.

  Georgiana was right behind her. They trudged through the calf-high snow banks, laughing for no apparent reason. Their merriment ceased only when Elizabeth was hit with a snowball on the back of her head.

  They turned around to see Colonel Fitzwilliam standing a few yards away from them. Elizabeth did not hesitate long. She formed a shapely snowball and threw it right at the man’s face.

  Judging by the colonel’s expression, he had not considered that retaliation might happen to him so soon. A snow fight ensued between the three of them. Elizabeth, who was shorter, was directing her aim at the man’s midsection, while Georgiana aimed for his face. Colonel Fitzwilliam was defeated after a fair game, falling back onto the snow and asking for forgiveness.

  Neither Georgiana nor Elizabeth could remember when was the last time when they had laughed so hard. They were helping Colonel Fitzwilliam off the snow, trying to dust the snow off him when Elizabeth felt that she was being watched. She looked up. Darcy stood in the window of the library, staring at them.

  She waved at him, a wide smile stretching her features. He lifted his hand in acknowledgment but did not smile.

  Elizabeth thought that perhaps he was displeased with their unladylike behaviour. She told Georgiana that they should be returning home, as they might catch a cold.

  ***

  Elizabeth was putting on her tall boots when Darcy entered the dressing room. Upon their arrival to Matlock Castle, Darcy and she had been given a handsome corner bedroom with the adjacent dressing room. Although it was much smaller to what they had at Pemberley, she was very pleased with it.

  “Are you going for a walk again?” he asked.

  She looked up at him with a smile. He was tying his neckcloth. Elizabeth always admired that he could do it so well without looking in the mirror.

  “Just a short one.”

  “Before breakfast?”

  “It is still very early, and I will be back for breakfast. It looks as if it will be snowing heavily later in the day just like it did yesterday.”

  Having tied her boots securely, she lowered her petticoats and got up from the bench. “I must say that I am rather tired with this weather. I cannot imagine how we shall be able to return to Pemberley with so much snow on the roads.”

  “Are you missing Pemberley?” he asked.

  “Yes, I am. The earl and his family are very generous, but it is different than being at home.”

  “I am so pleased that you think of Pemberley as home.”

  He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She expected it to be only a chaste kiss which he often gave her in the morning, but he deepened it quickly.

  “Fitzwilliam,” she murmured, putting her hands flat on his chest.

  His arms embraced her tightly, pressing her against his body. Even through her woollen dress and his trousers she could feel how excited he already was.

  “But Fitzwilliam,” she tried to protest again but he shushed her.

  He pushed her onto the bed, kissing her neck.

  Elizabeth stared at the bed canopy above, wondering what induced him into such actions. He usually restricted such activities to night-time. She cupped his cheek, making him look at her.

  “Fitzwilliam, we are about to begin our day,” she reminded him gently.

  “You said yourself that we still had time before breakfast,” he said, reaching to the back of her dress to unbutton it.

  Elizabeth felt the desire stirring in her and she knew that before long she would not be able to stop him.

  She moaned when he pulled her dress down, uncovering the better portion of her chest, and took the tip of her breast into his mouth.

  She raked her hand through his thick hair, pressing herself into his lips. Elizabeth felt brazen and shameless, her excitement growing with every second. Perhaps because they were both mostly dressed and it was broad daylight. A few minutes later he pushed gently inside of her while she opened her legs widely to accommodate him better.

  As they lay breathless a while later, Elizabeth snuggled into him, looking up into his eyes.

  “It was very unlike you,” she commented.

  “Are you complaining?”

  Her eyes shone at him. “No, but I did not expect it.”

  “I should surprise you more often,” he whispered into her ear. “You felt so very fine to me.”

  Elizabeth felt herself blushing bright red right from the top of her forehead to the tips of her breasts. He had never spoken to her in such a way. It was a thrilling and heady sensation.

  She sat up, attempting to right her clothes. She went to the dressing room to refresh herself.

  She was washing her face when Darcy came to stand behind her.

  “What time is it?” she asked.

  “Quarter to nine.”

  “We should be on time for breakfast. Close my dress, please.”

  He did that as he was asked, kissing the nape of her neck in the process.

  “You are much better at opening it than closing,” she noted.

  “Indeed, I am,” he agreed with her.

  A short while later they inspected one another before leaving their bedchamber. They were both presentable, and only her rosy cheeks suggested that this morning had been unusual for her.

  ***

  Elizabeth was on her way to enjoy tea with the ladies when she saw Colonel Fitzwilliam leaving the library. She stopped and smiled, ready to greet him, but he only nodded his head and walked past her.

  Elizabeth wondered what had happened to put him in such an unusual mood. It was so very unlike him not to stop by and chat. He had not taken the breakfast today with the rest of the family.

  This was Elizabeth’s first Christmas spent not only outside Longbourn but also without her father. At times, it affected her mood unfavourably, although she attempted not to show it. At Pemberley, she had the sole attention of Darcy and Georgiana, while at Matlock Castle she had to share them with the rest of the company. During the evenings Georgiana usually spoke to the viscountess, who, like her, had great passion for musi
c and drawing. Darcy talked much with his uncle, the earl, as well as his cousin, the viscount. They discussed business and running the estate. Elizabeth was often left to speak to Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was well travelled and she enjoyed listening to his stories of the places he had visited. He spoke of things which one could not read in the books. Elizabeth enjoyed his sense of humour and his optimistic view of the world.

  A few hours later, Elizabeth left her bedroom dressed for dinner. She was wearing a pale grey silk dress, simple in design but very elegant, which made her look taller and slimmer. Drew took her time with styling her mistress’s hair. Darcy grew impatient with the lengthy preparations and went downstairs on his own. Moreover, Drew convinced Elizabeth to wear some of the jewellery which she had been gifted after the wedding and which once had belonged to Lady Anne, Darcy’s mother.

  Elizabeth entered the drawing room to find that everyone was already there. It was a custom here at Matlock Castle to enjoy drink and conversation before sitting for dinner. She felt the viscountess’s green eyes on her as she passed through the room. She was overdressed for the family dinner, she could see it very clearly now. She should have opposed Drew when the maid had insisted on her wearing diamond earrings and bracelet.

  Darcy was seated next to his uncle, who discussed something with him. He smiled at Elizabeth as she walked by him, his eyes stopping on her figure long enough to make her blush. She was about to take a seat next to Georgiana when Colonel Fitzwilliam stepped her way.

  “I would like to apologize for the way I acted towards you earlier today,” he said.

  She assured him that she was not offended. They sat down on one of the sofas away from the centre of the room.

  Colonel Fitzwilliam gazed into her eyes. “I hope that you are not upset with me.”

  She smiled. “There is truly nothing I should be upset about.”

  “You are very generous. I had a conversation with my father this morning and it was not a pleasant one for me.”

  “It does happen no matter how old we are,” she said. “Our parents always consider it necessary to advise and direct us.” Her heart squeezed at the thought of her own dear father, who would never again have such an opportunity with one of his children.

  “My father is of the opinion that I should marry,” Colonel Fitzwilliam informed her.

  “I do believe that the Earl of Matlock wishes the very best for you,” she said diplomatically, not a bit surprised that he was willing to discuss such intimate matters with her.

  “He does, but he also thinks of the earldom. Both the land and the title are entailed. You know well what danger lies here.”

  “I certainly do, but your situation is quite different than my family’s. You have an elder brother who is married. I have four sisters and no brother to inherit.”

  “Philip has daughters only,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said, referring to his elder brother. “Father does not believe that Sarah shall bear him more children.”

  Elizabeth looked over at the elegant blonde seated by Georgiana. Then she returned her attention to the man beside her.

  “The Earl of Matlock asked me much about my family and the way our estate was passed to a distant cousin,” she admitted. “Perhaps he imagines that the situation may repeat itself in his own family.”

  “Your arrival might have induced him into action, although it was not the first time Father mentioned the need for me to settle down.”

  “I apologize for that. I would not have discussed it with the earl had I known that it could bring trouble to you.”

  “It is not your fault. He even found a bride for me.”

  “Do you know her?”

  “I met her once. She comes from a very wealthy family. Her father made his fortune in shipbuilding.”

  “What was your impression of her?”

  “She did not strike my interest, to say the least,” he replied flatly.

  “Perhaps you could give her another chance,” Elizabeth suggested.

  “I would wish to have Darcy’s freedom to marry someone I truly want to.”

  “I think that is a common desire but not always possible. You should try to find someone who would meet both yours and your father’s expectations.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “You should have more faith, Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

  He smiled. “You truly should address me as Cousin Richard now that we are relatives,” he said. “Thank you for your advice, Mrs Darcy.”

  “I did not give you much advice, I am afraid.”

  “I do feel that you understand my situation better than others,” he spoke seriously, looking straight into her eyes.

  “Perhaps I do, Colonel Fitzwilliam. I would advise you not to turn your back on the young lady your father finds to be suitable for you. I am the best example that one can find true happiness in a marriage even if it had not been expected at the beginning.”

  The butler entered, announcing that the dinner was served. Elizabeth accepted Colonel Fitzwilliam’s arm, seeing that Darcy was already assisting Lady Sarah. The company left the drawing room and stepped into the dining room, where Elizabeth took her usual place between Georgiana and Darcy. She felt for Colonel Fitzwilliam. He wished to please his father without sacrificing himself. She hoped that he would succeed in his endeavour.

  Chapter Twelve

  After quite a tiresome and emotional day, Elizabeth longed to have a good night’s sleep. Dressed in her nightclothes, she awaited her husband sitting by the fireplace. Darcy liked to stay with his uncle and cousins after the ladies retired for the night. She understood his need to spend time with his family and she never questioned it. Still, she knew that he appreciated that she waited for him every night.

  It was half past eleven and she was about to go to bed when then the door opened and Darcy walked in.

  He removed his coat and neckcloth and dropped on the armchair in front of her.

  She smiled at him. “Have you had a pleasant evening with your uncle and cousins?” she asked, coming to sit on his lap.

  His arms embraced her but he was silent.

  “Is something the matter?” she asked.

  “No, it is not,” he said, looking at the fire.

  “You stayed up late tonight,” she said, but he did not comment either.

  Elizabeth thought that he was simply tired and not in the mood for conversation. She noticed that he had been even less talkative in the recent days. Perhaps he was missing Pemberley the same as she was? She kissed him on the temple and got off his lap.

  She removed her robe and climbed under the covers. Turning on her side. she pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes.

  She was nearly asleep when she felt his quick finger untying the front of her nightgown. For a while she enjoyed his hand caressing the tip of her breasts. She sighed. He knew well what she liked.

  Craving closer contact, she turned onto her back. She adored when he was loving her like that. She could forget about the entire world.

  Her fingers raked through his dark locks as he feasted on her bosom.

  “Yes, Fitzwilliam, like this, yes, please,” she was murmuring.

  She opened her legs and invited him in. They matched well now and moved together as one body.

  When they lay spent a while later, he looked directly into her eyes and said, “I love you.”

  Elizabeth closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. There were times before when he had spoken those words to her, but this time his tone was different. She thought that he expected to hear the same from her. She could not reaffirm her of his love and she would never wish to lie to him.

  ***

  Elizabeth was perched on the cushioned seat of the large bay window on the second floor of Matlock Castle. She watched the snowflakes twirling in the air.

  “Mrs Darcy,” she heard the voice of Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  “Good morning, sir,” she said, rising to her feet.

  “No, please, do not stand up. M
ay I?” he asked, pointing to the other side of the upholstered bench.

  She smiled, gesturing for him to sit.

  Her gaze returned to the snowstorm. She noticed that Colonel Fitzwilliam was staring at her profile.

  “It is not the first time I see you here,” he said.

  “This window displays a beautiful view of the grounds,” she explained.

  “Indeed, it does. However, today you cannot see very far,” he noted.

  “’Tis true,” she said.

  “In my thoughts, I often return to the time we spent together in Kent,” he said.

  She turned her head to look at him. “Kent is very beautiful. I would wish to return there one day.”

  “You prefer it to Derbyshire?”

  “It is impossible to compare those two. Derbyshire is wild and unrestrained, while Kent is truly what foreigners may think what England should look like, a true garden of England.”

  “You put it well.”

  She thanked him with a smile.

  “Mrs Darcy, you must know that you have a devoted friend in me,” he said.

  “I thank you, Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

  He stood to his feet then took a step forward towards her. He reached for her hand and kissed her fingers.

  “Will you please take your hands off my wife?” Darcy’s cold voice was heard.

  Both Elizabeth and Colonel Fitzwilliam turned their heads towards the staircase. The colonel still held Elizabeth’s hand in his. He dropped it without a hurry and said, “I was only paying respect to Mrs Darcy.”

  The colonel hastily left, walking past his cousin down the stairs. Elizabeth stepped to her husband.

  “You were rude to him,” she said quietly.

  “Why was he kissing your hand?” he seethed.

  “It was entirely innocent. He spoke to me about his friendship.”

  Elizabeth could see that Darcy could barely contain his temper.

  “We are leaving for Pemberley,” he announced.

  “When?”

  “As soon as possible.”

  She looked outside the window at the blizzard raging outside. His gaze followed hers.

  “Tell Drew to prepare everything. We are leaving when it stops snowing.”