Follow Your Star

by Jennifer Bohnet

  The smell of freshly percolating coffee greeted Nanette as she made her way down to the kitchen on Sunday morning.

  Patsy was busy pushing sprigs of rosemary and cloves of garlic into a large leg of lamb ready to roast for lunch.

  ‘Hi. Did you sleep well? The twins are helping Bryan feed the baby calves. Help yourself to coffee. You know where the cereals are. There’s plenty of bread for toast. I’d offer you bacon and eggs but I can’t stand the smell of bacon cooking at the moment.’

  ‘Coffee and toast will be just fine. I’ll do the vegetables for lunch afterwards, shall I?’ Nanette asked.

  ‘Thanks. Helen always insists on bringing the dessert so I don’t have to worry she says. More like she doesn’t like my pastry! I thought we could go for a walk after lunch – maybe take the twins down to the lake. Helen always likes Bryan to take her on a tour of the farm on Sunday afternoons like they used to when Albert was alive.’ Patsy sighed.

  ‘Honestly, Nanette, sometimes I could strangle the woman, but she does mean well I suppose. I thought when she finally moved out things would be better. She’d get an independent life again. Leave Bryan and me to our own devices a bit more.’ Patsy shook her head. ‘But nothing’s really changed. She’s still here every day on some pretence or other. And Sunday lunch up here every week has become something of a ritual. Not sure how I’m going to cope with the “grandmotherly” advice that is sure to be heaped on me. That’s why I need you here as an ally when junior arrives.’ Patsy glanced at her sister. ‘Any closer to deciding what you’re going to do?’

  Nanette shook her head.

  ‘No. Maybe the walk this afternoon will clear my head and I’ll be able to think straight.’

  Helen arrived just as Patsy placed the roast in the Rayburn and immediately queried whether it would be cooked in time.

  ‘I always had the meat in that range by ten o’clock at the latest. Ready for lunch at one on the dot. Still you young things abhor routines, don’t you? Mind you, once the baby arrives you’ll soon change your tune.’

  ‘Helen, it’s lovely to see you again,’ Nanette said quickly before Patsy could respond to her mother-in-law’s criticisms. ‘How’s life in your new home?’

  ‘Different to what I’ve been used to, but I’m settling in nicely, thank you. Once Bryan finishes off a couple more little jobs I’ll be really organized. Ready to devote my time to helping Patsy with the new addition.’

  Helen slanted a look at Nanette.

  ‘And you? Your memory back to normal now?’ she asked briskly. ‘I saw a picture in one of the Sunday papers recently of – oh what’s his name? Your ex fiancé anyway. Had a blonde on his arm. Said something about them getting married. Zachary – that’s his name.’

  ‘I saw that photo too,’ Nanette said quietly. ‘As for my memory, I still have no recollection of certain things people tell me happened – maybe it’s for the best,’ she added, forcing a smile in Helen’s direction. ‘If you’ll excuse me I’ll just go check on the twins.’

  Leaving the kitchen, Nanette mouthed an apologetic, ‘Sorry – I’ll see you later’, at Patsy before closing the kitchen door behind her.

  After a slightly strained lunch, Nanette, Patsy and the twins went for their planned walk down to the lake at the far end of the farm.

  ‘I’m sorry Helen assumed your memory had returned to normal,’ Patsy said quietly. ‘And mentioned you-know-who. I know you find both difficult to cope with.’

  Nanette shook her head wearily. ‘Don’t worry. I wish my memory of that afternoon would return, but I’m beginning to believe it never will now. As for Zac, well, I can’t hide from news about him for ever.’

  Opening a heavy farm gate so that Patsy didn’t have to climb over as the twins had done, Nanette said to her sister, ‘Actually I think Helen’s comments have helped me make up my mind. I can’t run from the past for ever, so’ – she took a deep breath – ‘I’m going to tell Vanessa yes I will go to Monaco. At least Mathieu will be around if there are any problems with the twins and he’ll be a friend for me too.’

  Nanette could feel the wind tearing at her face as she frantically skied faster and faster down the mountainside. Adrenalin flowed through her veins as she heard the noise of the avalanche behind her gathering speed, devouring everything in its way. Her lungs forced a terror-stricken scream into the air. She couldn’t die like this, she…!

  ‘Nanette, Nanette, wake up. You’re having one of your nightmares,’ Patsy shook her gently.

  A shudder went through Nanette’s body as she came to.

  ‘Here, have a sip.’ Patsy handed her a glass of water. ‘What was it this time? Another monster breaking into the house? An earthquake?’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘No. I was caught up in an avalanche.’ She took a sip of the water as Patsy regarded her thoughtfully.

  ‘It’s been ages since you’ve had a nightmare.’

  Nanette nodded. ‘I know. I was hoping they’d finally finished,’ she said, her body still racked with shakes. ‘The therapist was saying only last week that it was a good sign I’d gone for so long without one. Wonder what interpretation she’ll put on tonight’s little episode?’ Nanette added through chattering teeth.

  ‘The stress of planning the wedding? Or maybe the thought of returning to Monaco?’ Patsy said, giving her sister a concerned glance. ‘Are you cold? Shall I get you a hot water bottle?’

  ‘No, thanks. I’ll snuggle back under the duvet in a moment and I’ll soon warm up,’ and Nanette smiled at her sister. ‘You go back to bed. Remember your condition. Don’t want you with dark circles under your eyes tomorrow, or rather today. She glanced at the bedside clock. ‘I’m sorry I woke you.’

  ‘If you’re sure you’re OK,’ Patsy said. ‘I could stay with you for a bit?’

  ‘I’m fine. Go back to bed,’ Nanette ordered. ‘But leave the light on please.’

  Patsy glanced anxiously at her before leaving and closing the door.

  Once she was alone, Nanette sat on the edge of the bed and took some deep breaths, trying to get her shaking body under control. It was never easy to banish the apprehension and terror that the nightmares brought.

  Sitting there, watching a moth seemingly mesmerized by the bedside light, flying frantically round and round, Nanette’s thoughts ricocheted in a similar manner over her latest nightmare.

  These terrifying dreams had been an irregular part of her nights for nearly three years now. Ever since the car accident in which she – and Zachary Ewart – had nearly died.

  The therapist, whom Vanessa had persuaded her to see when they began, had been right when she’d said they would happen less and less as time went on. But tonight’s nightmare had been truly terrifying. As bad as any she’d ever had. Slowly, as she sat there, the shaking stopped and the feeling of devastation retreated into her subconscious. But she knew there had been an extra dimension tonight – something that had disappeared as she’d woken up.

  As she’d hurtled down that slope in the path of the avalanche, screaming in terror, she hadn’t been alone. A shadowy figure had been alongside urging her on.

  ‘Faster, faster. Remember, remember.…’

  Remember what? Despondently Nanette replayed the nightmare in her mind, trying to come up with some positive memory from the dream. But her brain refused to co-operate.

  Wearily, she slipped under the duvet and reached out to turn off the light. Hopefully the rest of the night would pass peacefully. Now the decision was made and she was going to return to Monaco, she would need all her strength to cope with the coming weeks.

  The Mediterranean was sparkling under a warm March sun as the plane landed and taxied along the landing strip of Nice Cote d’Azur airport that ran alongside the edge of the sea. Nanette took a deep breath.

  After several weeks of frenzied preparations, Vanessa and Ralph had left for Brazil and she was finally back on French soil. Whatever the next few months had in store for her she could only pray that the tur
bulence of her past wouldn’t intrude into the future.

  She undid her seatbelt and began to gather their things together. The twins were already on their feet excited at the prospect of the next part of the journey.

  Walking through the arrivals hall Nanette put on her large sunglasses. She knew from experience that there was always the odd photographer, or even a group of paparazzi, lurking around the airport in the hope of snapping someone famous on their way out to the helicopter pad for transfer to Monaco.

  She knew she was unlikely to be of any interest, but hiding her eyes behind the dark glass made her feel better.

  But it wasn’t the paparazzi who greeted her as she walked towards the helicopter check-in desk: it was a large billboard advertising the Monaco Grand Prix standing next to it. A smaller one alongside had a film-star-style close-up of the Heel’s face and the words ‘Is this Zac’s year?’ emblazoned over it.

  Nanette handed over their flight reservation tickets to the desk clerk, turning her back on the poster and trying to shut its image and the memories it evoked out of her mind.

  ‘Great,’ Pierre said excitedly. ‘We’ll be here this year for the Grand Prix. Do you think Dad will be able to get us some passes for the pit lane?’

  ‘I shouldn’t be surprised,’ Nanette said, with a sinking feeling. She’d totally forgotten their time in Monaco would clash with the Grand Prix. That local hero Zachary Ewart would naturally be in town.

  ‘Well, I don’t want a ticket,’ Olivia said. ‘I hate the noise those cars make. It hurts my ears.’

  Inwardly Nanette agreed with Olivia. The last thing she wanted too was a ticket to anything that involved Zachary Ewart.

  The twins clambered happily into their seats in the helicopter leaving Nanette to sit alongside the pilot. As the turbines screamed, the rotors beat the air and the helicopter took off in a rush of noise, Nanette took some deep, steadying breaths.

  The pilot glanced at her sympathetically.

  ‘First trip? You look a bit nervous. It’s only fifteen minutes.’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘No. It’s not my first trip but I am nervous.’

  Staring out through the window at the coastline that had once been so familiar to her, Nanette didn’t add that it wasn’t the flight she was nervous about, but the direction her life was taking.

  After landing at the heli-pad in Fontvielle, a downtown extension of Monaco built on reclaimed land, Nanette and the twins took a taxi to Mathieu’s apartment on Boulevard Albert 1st overlooking the old port. Within minutes the twins were knocking on the door of Mathieu’s ninth floor apartment.

  To Nanette’s surprise, it was his father, Jean-Claude, who opened the door to them.

  ‘Bonjour mes petits and welcome,’ he said, hugging the twins and giving Nanette a light kiss on each cheek.

  ‘Where’s Daddy?’ Olivia asked disappointedly.

  ‘He’ll be here later, poppet,’ Jean-Claude said. ‘He’s had to take care of some business this afternoon. You two can take your things through to your rooms while I show Nanette hers. Tea and biscuits on the balcony in ten minutes.’

  Once the twins were safely out of earshot, Jean-Claude said to Nanette, ‘Mathieu offers his apologies but something came up that he couldn’t get out of. He hopes to be here later this evening. In the meantime, he’s asked me to take care of things. Help you settle in, give you keys and things. And I’ll stay tonight in case he doesn’t get back.’

  He picked up Nanette’s suitcase.

  ‘You haven’t been to this apartment before, have you?’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘No, Mathieu had a place up in Monte Carlo itself the last time I was here. It was a lot smaller than this one.’

  ‘Come on then, I’ll show you around.’

  The apartment with its five bedrooms, numerous bathrooms, large sitting-room with doors opening out on to the balcony was as sumptuous as any Nanette had ever been in. Fleetingly she wondered how Mathieu could afford such luxury, but maybe Jean-Claude, who she knew ran a successful business, had helped him out.

  Her own room was charming – a mixture of French Provençal furnishings and modern pieces; it had its own balcony with a sea view and an en suite bathroom in marble.

  ‘It’s a very grand apartment,’ she said slowly.

  Jean-Claude smiled. ‘I have a feeling having the twins living here for a few months will turn it into more of a home. Now, I’m sure Florence will have tea and biscuits ready on the balcony. Shall we join the twins?’

  ‘Who is Florence?’ Nanette asked, as they made their way back to the sitting-room.

  ‘Mathieu’s housekeeper.’

  Nanette turned and looked at Jean-Claude in surprise.

  ‘But that’s partly what I thought I was here to be. Mathieu doesn’t really need me if he’s already got someone.’

  ‘You’re here simply to look after the twins – organize them when they are not at school.’

  ‘But that’s going to leave me with an awful lot of time on my hands,’ Nanette protested. ‘With nothing to do.’

  Jean-Claude didn’t answer. He simply raised his eyebrows at her quizzically.

  ‘I’m sure you’ll find plenty to do once you’re settled in. Thank you, Florence, we’ll manage now.’

  Absentmindedly, Nanette accepted the cup of tea Jean-Claude handed her.

  ‘I take it Vanessa and Ralph got away all right yesterday?’ Jean-Claude asked.

  Nanette nodded, forcing herself to concentrate.

  ‘The twins and I went to Heathrow to wave them goodbye at the crack of dawn. They should be sleeping off their jet lag right now. Vanessa said she’d phone tonight to make sure everything was OK this end.’

  ‘Nanette, Pierre wants to play with his computer game and I want to watch television in my room,’ Olivia said. ‘Can we?’

  ‘Half an hour then it’s bedtime,’ Nanette agreed, and smiled as the twins dashed away.

  ‘I have to talk to you,’ Jean-Claude said.

  Nanette looked at him in surprise as he hesitated.

  ‘Nanette, can I be honest with you? I obviously didn’t want to say anything in front of the twins, but I think you have a right to know. It’s extremely unlikely that Mathieu will be here tonight.’

  Nanette waited as a clearly agitated Jean-Claude ran his hands through his hair.

  ‘I’ve spent most of this afternoon with my lawyers,’ he said, ‘trying to sort things out, but.…’ and Jean-Claude shrugged unhappily as he looked at her.

  There was a pause before he added, ‘You see, Nanette, Mathieu hasn’t been delayed by business: he’s been arrested.’

  CHAPTER TWO

  Nanette was enjoying a coffee and a croissant early on Saturday morning at one of the cafés that edged the small Monaco flower and vegetable market, when her mobile rang.

  ‘Hi, Patsy. Everything all right?’ she asked quickly, seeing her sister’s name on the screen.

  ‘Yes. Just wondering how you are, as I haven’t heard from you and I was worried,’ her sister said.

  ‘Everything’s fine here now,’ Nanette said.

  ‘What do you mean now?’ Patsy demanded. ‘What’s happened? Are the twins all right? Are you?’

  Nanette hesitated. ‘Mathieu wasn’t here when I arrived. He’d been arrested.’

  Quickly, before Patsy could draw breath, Nanette continued, ‘He’s out now. They kept him in for twenty-four hours before releasing him on bail. He has to report back once a week.’

  ‘What’s he done?’

  ‘I don’t know exactly. Something to do with his business,’ Nanette said. ‘Apparently all he said to Jean-Claude was, it’s nothing to worry about and that he’d get it sorted.’

  She didn’t add that Jean-Claude was furious with his son for not asking him to put up the bail money. Instead an unnamed foreign business associate had stood surety.

  ‘I’m sorry I haven’t rung you before, but as you can imagine, trying to occupy the twins and keep the news
of their father’s arrest from them hasn’t left a lot of time for anything else. Thankfully, Mathieu has taken them to Marineland today to give me a couple of free hours. And Jean-Claude is organizing a computer for them so they’ll be able to follow Vanessa and Ralph’s progress from this weekend.’

  ‘Have you heard from them?’

  ‘Only that they arrived safely in Brazil and are enjoying themselves. Their honeymoon will be over next weekend when they meet up with the documentary team and they begin work.’

  ‘When do the twins start school?’

  ‘Monday, so that’s something else we’ve been busy doing: sorting clothes, buying books and stationery and back-packs big enough to carry everything. Honestly the amount of stuff they have to carry on a daily basis is unbelievable.’

  ‘And you?’ Patsy asked. ‘How are you coping with being back in Monaco? Met up with anyone from your past yet?’

  ‘If you mean, have I seen Zac the answer is no,’ Nanette said. ‘How’s your morning sickness?’

  ‘Slowing down, thank goodness,’ Patsy said. ‘I’d better go – Helen is about to arrive and if she realizes I’m on the phone to you I shall get a lecture about wasting Bryan’s hard-earned money on foreign phone calls!’

  ‘I’ll ring you at the weekend,’ Nanette said laughing. ‘Take care.’

  Thoughtfully she put the phone in her bag and looked around her at the colourful scene. Local housewives and Filipino servants with raffia baskets were busy doing their daily fresh vegetable shop and even at this early hour the walkway up to the palace was crowded with tourists.

  It was hard to believe she’d been back in Monaco for nearly a week. If someone had told her last year that she would once again be living here, her immediate reaction would have been outright disbelief. The scars were still too sore to even contemplate returning.

  But, having settled in, and despite the problems of the last few days, Nanette was beginning to enjoy being back.

  She hadn’t told Patsy, but last night Mathieu had taken her out to dinner, partly to apologize for not being there when she arrived and also because, ‘I’d like to,’ he’d said, with a disarming smile when suggesting it.…