URBAN: What A Thug Wants

by Shantel Johnson

Laura got into the foster system after her mother abandoned her at a fire station. She always wanted to know why, but the more pregnant teens she met, she got the sense that her mother just wasn’t in the position to take care of her. Although she made peace with it, it didn't stop her from being curious. So one day, she snuck into the office and looked at her records. She found out what fire station she was left in. Once a year she would go to that fire station and hope to bump into her mother. Maybe she could recognize her face amongst the crowd. It has been seven years since she started, and she’s seen nothing yet.

  “How long have you been in this foster house Laura?”

  “It’s been two years.” She got off the floor. “But this is my final year. I have applied for numerous scholarships and I’m hoping that one of them can take me far away from here.”

  “What are the scholarships for?”

  “Well mostly for my grades, but it doesn’t hurt that I’m trying to get one through my soccer team.”

  “You play soccer?”

  “Yeah I’m pretty decent at it too. Here’s to hoping it’s what gets me out of here.”

  Giselle and Laura spoke the whole morning. Laura gave Giselle a few tips on how to stay out of Ms. Rita’s way. Giselle helped Laura make breakfast for everyone. They helped the younger children get ready for school seeing how they were the only ones. They then gathered all the laundry and separated them by color. They left the huge bags Laura told her that she would have to drop them off across the street, and Laura would pick them up later after school. Laura taught Giselle how to take out the trash. Giselle didn’t love her new home, but at least Laura was helping make it bearable.

  “Look at the time, I have to get ready for school. I have soccer practice every morning by 8:30. Did they tell you what school you go to?” She was gulping down some coffee.

  “It’s the high school down the road from here.”

  “Wow.” Laura chuckled. “You are really country. No one here says ‘down the road’. We all say, ‘down the block.”

  “Well I ain’t a New Yorker.” Giselle stuck her tongue out. “Go on and get out of here. I’m going to wash the dishes and then wash up.”

  “Ok.” Laura was about to get out but she stopped. “Whatever you do, try to be extra quiet. Ms. Rita is probably taking a nap right now. So do your best not to disturb her.”

  “Is she cranky when she gets up?”

  “Crankiness is the least of your worries. There is a whole bunch of spare keys by the door in the bowl. ” She closed the door softly behind her.

  Giselle got to work. She cleaned up all the dishes, wiped down all the counters and table, and then she brought the laundry across the street. She came back to the apartment and tiptoed around. She washed herself up and opened her suitcase looking for an outfit for school. She hated the first day of school, she hated it even more knowing that it was the senior year, so almost everyone were already friends. She was the new girl, in a new school, in a new city; the least she could do was look good.

  She got dressed and spun around. She was covered head-to-toe in designer labels. Her father did spoil her and looking at the outfit just reminded her of her parents. What she would do to bring them back. If she could cash in all her outfits to bring them back, she would do it in a heartbeat.

  “You uppity bitch.” She heard Ms. Rita say behind her. She turned around and saw that she was lighting another cigarette. “Where the fuck do you think you're going? You think you’re going to a fashion show or something?” She laughed cruelly. She inhaled the cigarette and blew it in her face. “You dumb bitch.” She flicked the ashes at her.

  “I’m just going to school.” She tried to walk past her but Ms. Rita blocked the entrance.

  “You don’t think I know that bitch.”

  “But you asked me…”

  “Shut the fuck up!” She slapped her across the face.

  Besides the pain, one of the first thing Giselle felt was shame. She’d never been hit before. Even back in North Carolina, she has managed to sweet talk her way out of every fight. She put her hand on her cheek.

  “You can’t hit me.” She held her face. “You’re not suppose to hit me.”

  “I do what the fuck I want.” She slapped her again. This time Giselle stumbled a couple of steps back. Her cheek felt hot. Without meaning to, she started to cry. She didn’t want to but to think of what her life had come to, she couldn’t help it at all.

  “Stop fucking crying. I’m sick of you guys crying!” She screamed. “I’m just…” She walked away again not completing the sentence.

  Giselle was still tearing up. She looked at the mirror and saw the red mark that the slap left behind. She dug into her suitcase and looked for her makeup. She found her foundation and covered it up. She grabbed her things and headed off to school.

  New York City high school was very different than North Carolina. She wasn’t used to the tighter hallways, overcrowded classrooms, and the old buildings. The teachers were overworked and the students were restless. Just on the first day, there were three fights that broke out, and people were making fun of her accent. She wanted to fit in but every time she tried, it seemed like everyone had their minds made up.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Laura came up behind her in the hallway.

  “What a day. This place is nothing like back at home.”

  “I can imagine. What class do you have next?”

  “Um,” She fished in her pocket for her schedule. “I have survey sports. What’s that?”

  “It’s basically every sports class in one.”

  “Ugh.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I’m guessing that you’re not that into sports.”

  “Not really. But it’s just another thing that I have to get used to.” She sighed.

  “Listen, why don’t you just cut out of here?”

  “Cut school? No, I couldn’t do that.”

  “It’s just one day and it looks like you could use the day off. Just take a day, get to know the city.”

  “Alone?”

  ‘Is this your way of inviting me?” Laura smiled.

  “Face it you are just using me as a reason to cut school.”

  “Maybe.” She laughed. “So, did it work?”

  Giselle looked at the busy hallway. It felt like everyone was staring at her.

  “Let’s go.”

  Laura took her as much sightseeing as she could. She brought her to Prospect Park, walked her across the Brooklyn Bridge, and then they hopped on the train and went to Times Square. As bad as the day was when it first started out, it was much better now. She started smiling. She remembered that her mother wanted to see the city, and in some way, it was like her mother was getting her wish. She closed her eyes. She could feel her mother’s spirit.

  “This place, is something else.” She looked around at the billboards in Time Square. It’s nothing like TV. It’s so real.”

  “Wow...I didn’t think you were going to say real.” Laura chuckled. “It trips me out to see people really bugging about Times Square. I guess because I’m born here, I’m used to it.”

  “It’s just so surreal. It’s almost like I’m not here.” She looked at all the people. ‘Look at everyone. Where are they going?” She asked as they rushed by. “It’s like they have something to attend to.”

  “They do. Work! Life! School!” They both laughed. “Hey if you think this place is great looking now, you should come back here at night.”

  “I wish I could but we have to be home, right?”

  “Are you kidding me? Ms. Rita does not give a fuck about us. All we have to do is clean up, make breakfast, keep quiet when she’s coming down off of her high, and of course most importantly make all the meetings on time.”

  “What meetings?”

  “The appointments when the government checks up on us.”

  “That’s sad.”

  Giselle ordered a hot dog from a local vendor. She asked Laura if she wanted any but she declined.
She bit into the hot dog and sat on one of the benches that were in Times Square. She took it all in. She had to stop thinking about the past because they kept distracting her from the present. If she thought about how different her life was, she’d never take control of it. She had to find some way to maintain because she couldn’t just keep cutting school whenever she felt stressed out.

  “So what did you mean by that’s sad?” Laura wondered sitting next to her. “Earlier you said that it was sad. What exactly is sad?”

  “The whole situation really. It’s sad to be stuck to a heartless, junkie, and abusive woman all because it might be worse someplace else.”

  “So she hit you?” Laura brought up out of nowhere. Giselle looked at her shocked. “You called her abusive.” She nodded her head. “I remember the first time Ms. Rita hit me. You see she was yelling at one of the little kids because they’d wet the bed. The boy was three and she never bothered to potty train him but she was yelling and looked like she was about to hit him.”

  “So you jumped in?”

  “So I jumped in.” She gave Giselle a half smile. “I said something about her hair. I don’t even remember, but I said something stupid that I knew would get her upset. She came over and punched me dead in my eye. For such a frail little woman, she really knows how to put weight behind that punch. I remember the boy crying in my arms for the rest of the night. The next day, I took out money from her wallet and I bought the potty. That’s the day I really decided to take care of the kids.”

  “I notice that they look to you like you’re their mother.”

  “We’re all we got.”

  It was then that Giselle realized how lucky she was. She had never gotten a glimpse of how others lived. She’d heard horror stories all the time, but it was usually on a TV show or on the internet. She’d never really met the person that was abused or was a victim herself. Who knew one car crash could change all of that? She looked over at Laura. She thought about how strong she was at such a young age. Here they were, the same age, but it seemed like Laura lived at least twice as long.

  They left Times Square and arrived back in their building. Before they got inside they spotted Ms. Rita coming down the stairs. They ducked behind a car and watched her stumble by. It was clear from the look in her eye that she was on some sort of substance. Giselle glimpsed over at Laura trying to get a clue.

  “I can’t tell from here.” She whispered to her new friend. “But it looks like she’s on something.”

  “It’s too early for coke. I’m thinking she got a hold of some of that crack.”

  “Oh.”

  “I guess that means there’s no dinner tonight.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that she took what probably was our grocery money to buy drugs. I know you’re new and all, but wake up.”

  They walked in the building and into the apartment. Laura looked in the fridge and through the pantries. It was almost bare but luckily she found three packs of pasta, some tomato paste, and some cheese. She started to get dinner ready with Giselle’s help. The kids would be home from school soon and they didn’t want them starving. Laura was sad but remembered that it was almost time for an appointment. She would somehow have to find a way to steal some of the money just for groceries and food.

  The kids came in and before they ate dinner, Giselle and Laura helped them with their homework. While Ms. Rita was still missing, Giselle tidied up the place and got the garbage ready to be thrown out.

  “Ok, so we don’t need anything else to go out in the trash?” She asked as she dragged the two heavy bags.

  “I’m going to pick up the laundry as soon as you come back and we’re all going to be going to sleep.” Laura told them all and Giselle nodded. She dragged the bags down the hall to the trash chute.

  “Damn, Ms. Rita has you doing manual labor already?” Lionel teased as he was throwing out his trash. “She didn’t even wait a week before giving you chores.”

  “Everyone has to pitch in.” Giselle dusted off her hands.

  “That’s not true. Ms. Rita puts no work in if it has nothing to do with drugs.”

  “Dang, does everyone know about her drug problem?”

  “Yeah, they do.”

  “And nobody called the police on her?”

  “You’ll see that people in this building tend to keep to themselves. They’d talk about you behind your back but don’t expect them to help you out.”

  She smiled and laughed. Lionel made her feel nervous. She was struck by how handsome he was. His smile was magnetic and he was charming. She kept avoiding eye contact with him because it made her want to giggle. She could hate herself right now. She had a crush. She hadn’t had a crush since the second grade and that was on Andy. She looked at Lionel’s tall but muscular body. This was definitely not the second grade.

  “So how have you been?” He asked her. She looked at him puzzled. “What is it? Am I not suppose to ask you?’

  “No, that’s not it at all. I guess I just don’t know how to answer that question.” She told him truthfully. “There’s been so much going on that I don’t even know where to start.

  “Well, how about you tell me your story?”

  “Eh…” Just then the door creaked open.

  “Can you guys go pick up the laundry?” She smirked at Lionel and then back to Giselle. “Since you’re just out here yapping anyway.”

  “Um, cool. Do you have the money?”

  “Just tell them that it’s for Ms. Rita. The owner is cool and will understand.”

  On the way to the laundromat, Giselle found herself telling Lionel her life story. She told him about life in North Carolina, the car accident, and her begging to live in New York City. He told her that it was crazy and sad, but then he started to tell his life story. He opened up about his Uncle Maxwell and his death. He’d never really told anyone except Antwon how he felt. He didn’t realize how much a burden it was until he said the words out loud. Suddenly after spilling it all, he felt lighter.

  They picked up the laundry and like Laura said, the owner waived the fees. They were close to the building when they saw Ms. Rita stagger up the entry stairs. Giselle stopped in her tracks.

  “What is it?” He saw her refuse to move. “Why’d you stop?”

  “Because of her.” She pointed out Ms. Rita who now turned the corner into the lobby. “That women is a menace.”

  “She’s a crackhead.”

  “It doesn’t matter, she shouldn’t be allowed to watch kids.”

  “A lot of people shouldn’t.”

  “But she’s abusive. She’s hit me.” She touched the spot where Ms. Rita slapped earlier.

  “You gotta fight back.”

  “I hate violence.”

  “Do you like getting your ass whipped?”

  “No but…”

  “Then you do what you have to do. You need to learn how to fight.”

  “But I’ve never fought before.”

  “No, you never had to fight before. “ He corrected her. “There’s a difference. It’s either you fight or get your ass kicked.” He stared at her and she felt nervous as he looked into her eyes.

  “She has to be home by now.”

  Lionel and Giselle got into the building and as soon as they got off the elevator, Ms. Rita was there.

  “Bitch where have you been?” She cursed at her.

  “Calm down.” Lionel stepped in. He helped Giselle bring the clothes to the apartment. “She just needed help for the laundry.”

  “It’s okay.” Giselle whispered. “Thank you for bringing up the laundry.”

  “Learn to speak when motherfucking spoken to.” Ms. Rita punched her in the back of the head.

  “You’re trippin!” Lionel got in between them again. Laura opened the door and grabbed the laundry. She stepped out to help but Giselle shook her head.

  “The kids.” She mouthed to Laura. Laura shook her head that she understood and she went back inside.

&n
bsp; “This little bitch needs to learn a lesson.” Ms. Rita lunged for Giselle again.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Lionel asked. He looked in her eyes and he could tell. “You want to get high?”

  The question made Ms. Rita’s eyes opened wide. They weren’t so enraged, they were a little bit soft. She immediately went to Lionel.

  “What do you got?” She reached out to him.

  “Get your crackhead ass off of me.” He reached into his pockets and pulled out two small containers of crack. Her hands almost snatched it out of his hands. “You want this don’t you?” Her eyes followed his hands. “How about you go smoke it in that empty apartment on the fourth floor? That’s the only way, I’ll give it to you. Do we have a deal?” She nodded quickly and he handed them to her. She ran off happily up the stairs.

  Giselle watched him and started going to the apartment. Her hand was on the doorknob and she shook her head. She didn’t want to be in there, not that night, not any night. She needed to go someplace else.

  “You okay?” He was right behind her. She inhaled his scent in. There goes those butterflies.

  “I’ll be fine. I just don’t know where to sleep tonight.”

  “You can crash at my apartment.” He offered. She looked in his eyes and shook her head.

  “I don’t think that’s wise.”