Second Nature

by Jae

  "I'll get it," Leigh said and hurried away.

  "Coward!" Griffin called after her. She turned back around and faced Jorie. Suddenly, running away didn't seem like such a bad idea. She cleared her throat. "How are you feeling?"

  "Like a character in a horror novel, who was hunted and jumped by a big cat," Jorie answered. "But I guess this is real, isn't it?" The dark eyes searched Griffin's in the dim light of the lamp on the bedside table.

  She's trying to understand what is happening, and she's asking me to provide the answers. Griffin had known this would happen at some point, but she still wasn't sure what to tell Jorie. Every answer she gave would be a clear violation of the First Law. Her training screamed at her not to tell Jorie anything. But on the other hand, Jorie already knew shape-shifters existed, so what harm could giving her additional information do? Humans had always been the opponents, but now her decision to spare Jorie's life had made her an ally. Never before had Griffin been in a situation like this, and she didn't know how to handle it.

  "What are you?" Jorie asked when Griffin remained silent. Her voice was calm, but her scent gave away how confused and scared she really was.

  Griffin glanced down at her. "You already know."

  "You're a shape-shifter," Jorie stated.

  Interesting. She didn't say weretiger or werelion. It's clear that she never met a Wrasa before, but she gets it right as if by pure instinct. Griffin gave a slight nod. It was safe to confirm what Jorie already knew anyway. If she wanted to get some answers from Jorie, she couldn't just refuse to answer the simplest question.

  "Why do you want to kill me?" Hurt and betrayal gave Jorie's voice a raspy quality.

  Griffin had to look away. "I don't want to," she said after swallowing twice, "but I didn't have much of a choice. I had my orders." She wanted Jorie to understand that she hadn't tried to kill her for fun or because she hated her.

  "Orders?" Jorie's shoulders leaned against the wall as if she needed the support. "Why would someone order you to kill me? I never did anything to threaten you or your... kind."

  Every word made Griffin feel worse. Jorie didn't understand why she was a threat, so she certainly wasn't out to harm the Wrasa.

  "Why?" Jorie asked again.

  There was no easy answer. Griffin wasn't even sure if she should answer. If she did, she would have to tell Jorie everything about the Wrasa and their lives hidden among humans. It would make her even more of a traitor in the eyes of her kind than she already was. There was no going back.

  "I'll go and see what is taking Leigh so long," Griffin said and fled to the door. She wasn't ready for this conversation.

  "Coward," Jorie called after her.

  * * *

  "How's your head? Painkillers finally kicking in?" Griffin asked as she entered the guest room for the fifth time in the last two hours. Since Jorie's attempt to get away, she hadn't left her side all day.

  It made for a very awkward situation. Jorie felt so many turbulent emotions — anger, fear, hurt, betrayal — that she wanted to retreat, lick her emotional wounds, and never see Griffin again. The more she thought about it, the sadder and angrier she became. She had started to trust Griffin, to like her, and now she found out that Griffin had deceived her at every step. She remembered how guilty she had felt when the mugger had hurt Griffin because of her, and now it looked as if even that had been a setup. Everything about their growing friendship had been a lie.

  "Getting there," she grumbled. If Griffin wasn't willing to answer her questions, she wanted to be left alone.

  "Good." Griffin stepped closer even though Jorie knew she was sending out clear signals to stay away. "Here." She held out something for Jorie to take.

  Jorie's gaze darted from Griffin to the cell phone in her hand. Was this a trick? Surely Griffin wouldn't just hand her the means to call for help?

  "I want you to call your mother," Griffin said.

  Fear squeezed the air from Jorie's lungs as she remembered that Griffin knew her mother. She probably knows where she lives and that she's all alone in the house. Do they want to set a trap for my mother so they can use her as a hostage against me? "No," she said firmly. "Leave my mother out of this."

  "I mean your mother no harm," Griffin said in a tone that Jorie had found soothing just two days ago. "I won't involve her in this, but I need your help in making sure she stays away. Tell her she won't be able to reach you for a little while and that she shouldn't worry if she doesn't hear from you. Tell her you need some time away from your writing, to clear your head."

  Jorie shivered. These shifters are clever. They've thought of everything. It had been almost forty-eight hours since Jorie had fled from her house. Griffin seemed to know that her mother would worry and call the police if she didn't hear from Jorie soon. Did she really get to know Mom so well, or did they hack my computer? Put a tap on my phone or Mom's?

  This whole situation was bigger than she had initially thought. And now Griffin was planning on keeping her here for a while longer and preventing people from looking for her. Why me? What does she want from me?

  "All right." She took the phone and peered up at Griffin. "How about some privacy while I talk to my mother?"

  "Sorry," Griffin said. She settled down into the easy chair next to the bed and curled her legs under her. "It's not that I don't respect your privacy, Jorie, but you must realize that I can't leave you alone with a phone. I can't risk you calling the police."

  Jorie snorted. "Oh, yeah, right. They might instantly send their specialized unit that deals with alien invasions and threats by mythological creatures." But at least I just found out that not all police officers are shape-shifters. If I can somehow get away and find one who is human... She shook her head, glad when it didn't start to pound again. "If I call the police and tell them that shape-shifting big cats are out to kill me, they'll arrest me, not you. Especially if the police officer taking the call is one of you."

  "You know?" Griffin asked. Surprise and respect mingled in her gaze.

  Well, actually, I wasn't sure, but you just confirmed it, so thanks. Seems my instincts were right — that cop in the police car really was a Wrasa. She felt queasy as she slowly understood the extent of the situation. "I'm not stupid," Jorie answered, trying hard not to let her fear show. Never show weakness to a predator; that's what Griffin told me.

  "No," Griffin murmured. "You're everything but."

  Jorie's thoughts raced. She took stock of the situation and her options. Half of the police force and some of her acquaintances were shape-shifters, who had infiltrated her home and her life. God, they're everywhere. Anyone could be a shape-shifter. Even if I manage to get away, there won't be anywhere I can hide. Fear flared up and shoved back all the other emotions. She longed to call her mother and beg her to send help, but she knew she couldn't do that. If she even hinted at the things that were going on in her life right now, her mother would be on the next plane to Michigan, putting herself in danger without hesitation.

  But at least she could tell her mother one last time that she loved her. She took a deep breath and dialed her mother's number.

  The phone was picked up after the second ring. "Hello?"

  Her mother's voice made Jorie long for a hug. "Hi, Mom. It's me... Jorie."

  "How are you, sweetheart? I tried to call you earlier, but you didn't pick up. Is everything all right?" Helen asked.

  Jorie's throat tightened. In the past, she had found her mother's calls and her worried questions about Jorie's well-being a little irritating, but now she wished she could have just one more normal conversation with her mother. "Everything's fine," Jorie finally said. It was a well-practiced lie. She had told her mother the same after quitting yet another job, getting another rejection letter from a publisher, and breaking up with her girlfriend. "I left my cell phone at home, and I'm not at the house."

  "Not at the house?" Helen chuckled. "Don't tell me you left your beloved laptop behind."

  Helen's skepticism
was understandable. Normally, Jorie would be getting restless when she was separated from her laptop for more than a day. Funny how having your life threatened and being chased all over Michigan by shape-shifters can change your priorities. Jorie hadn't wasted a thought on her writing or her laptop since she had fled from the house. After being used as a weapon, the laptop might even be broken. "I decided I need a break... a little time away from my writing and everything else," she said as Griffin had suggested.

  "Good," Helen said with obvious satisfaction. "It's not that I don't support your writing, but it'll be good for you to get out and spend some time with people instead of in front of your computer."

  People, Jorie thought bitterly. Her gaze traveled the distance between her and Griffin, who was reclining in the easy chair and pretending hard not to listen to every word she said. The only people I spend any time with turned out to be murderous shape-shifters. "Yes, Mom," she said. It sounded weak, even in her own ears.

  "Are you..." Helen hesitated. "Are you with Griffin?"

  Jorie jerked in surprise. Her glance flitted over to Griffin again.

  Griffin's gaze sharpened. The muscles of her legs tightened as she got ready to take the cell phone from her should she say something stupid.

  "Why are you saying that?" Jorie asked carefully, not sure if telling her mother even that would put her in danger.

  "Well, I just thought... I thought maybe..."

  "What?" Jorie prompted. Normally, her mother didn't hesitate to say what she meant. Had she sensed something off about Griffin?

  "She's nice, and I never saw you get along with someone so well," Helen said.

  Yeah, that's what I thought too... until I found out she was only pretending to be my friend so she could kill me, Jorie thought but didn't say anything.

  "You two really seemed to click," Helen continued, her voice becoming lower and lower until she was whispering, "and it made me wonder if something else... something more is going on?"

  The cell phone almost slid from Jorie's hand. She... she knows I'm gay? How did she know? Did she hear what Griffin and I were talking about in the kitchen?

  "Jorie?" her mother asked. "You still there?"

  One long arm reached out and nudged her. "Answer," Griffin whispered.

  Jorie flinched and tightened her grip on the cell phone. "Yes. Sorry, Mom. W-what did you just say?" She was almost sure that she had misinterpreted her mother's words. She can't possibly mean what I think she means, can she? She wouldn't be so calm if she thought I was in a relationship with a woman.

  "I thought that might be the reason why you never connected with any of the men you dated," Helen said. She sounded calm, not like a mother who was flipping out over the fact that her daughter might be gay.

  Oh, yeah, that's what I thought too. When she had realized she was gay, she had thought that was the reason why she had never found a true connection and never experienced emotional intimacy with a man. She had thought it would be different with a woman, but it hadn't been — not in the way she had expected, at least. Disappointed and confused, she had decided to be on her own for a while. "It's not that easy," she said, still not recovered from the shock that her mother had just guessed her sexual orientation — and wasn't crying or yelling.

  "So you're not... gay?" Helen asked. Hope vibrated in her voice, but also confusion, as if Helen was wondering what else could be "wrong" with her daughter, then.

  Jorie hesitated. She was at a crossroad. If she told her mother the truth, there would be no going back, and her life was in enough of an upheaval as it was. It would disappoint her mother, and she didn't want that. But on the other hand, is it better to add to all the lies? she asked herself. There was too much deception going on in her life anyway. Not telling her was one thing, but lying to her? And if push comes to shove, having that lie be the last thing I say to her? No, I think I owe her the truth, as painful as that might be for both of us. "No," she said. "I mean... yes, I am gay."

  Seconds of silence stretched into an eternity for Jorie. Then Helen asked, "Why did you never tell me?" Hurt tinged her voice.

  Griffin's presence was really becoming uncomfortable now. Even under the best of circumstances, Jorie wasn't a big fan of emotional conversations, but having Griffin witness it — or at least one side of it — was worse. "I don't know, Mom. It's not like there was ever much to tell, you know? It never played a big role in my life."

  "Never played a big role?" Helen repeated. "You have a girlfriend, and you thought it necessary to introduce her to me as just a friend. You could have told me, you know?"

  Griffin? She's talking about Griffin? A bitter snort escaped. Griffin was as far from a girlfriend as one could get. "She's not my girlfriend," Jorie said, rubbing her temples. Her headache was back.

  The easy chair scraped over the floor as Griffin slid it closer to the bed. If she suspected that they were talking about her, it didn't make her uncomfortable. She looked curious and not as if she was about to leave the room.

  Jorie sent her an annoyed glance. Didn't anyone ever tell her that curiosity killed the cat?

  "She's not?" Helen asked. Her voice alternated between relief and disappointment.

  Jorie's feeling of being caught in an absurd nightmare intensified. Her whole world was being turned upside down, including her assumptions about her own mother. She had been so sure that her coming out would be a huge disappointment to her mother. Without seeing Helen's face, her eyes, she still couldn't be sure that Helen wasn't just hiding how upset she really was, and she didn't want to have this conversation with Griffin listening to every word she said. "Mom, how about we talk about this next time you come to visit me? It'll give both of us some time to cool down and talk more calmly." Jorie shoved back the thought that there might never be a next time. She couldn't allow herself to start thinking like that. So far, Griffin hadn't killed her and had even seemed concerned when Leigh had hurt her. There had to be a reason for it. If she could figure out why, she could use it to her advantage.

  "I am calm," Helen said. "I think a part of me has waited for this conversation for the last ten years."

  "Ten years?" Jorie's eyes widened in disbelief. "Even I didn't have the slightest clue ten years ago. How could you tell?" Is it possible that Mom deciphered the Japanese gaydar instructions before I did?

  "I just... knew," Helen said softly. "There has always been something different about you, even as a child. I just couldn't figure out what it was back then."

  Jorie knew she shared the feeling of being different with many other lesbians while growing up. But the more experiences she had and the more gay people she met, the more she realized that being gay was not really what set her apart and isolated her from other people.

  "We'll talk about it when we see each other," Helen said when Jorie didn't answer.

  If we see each other. The fearful thought echoed through Jorie's mind. There was a very real possibility that she would never see her mother again. "Okay," she choked out because she knew her mother was waiting for a reply. Her voice sounded shaky and emotional in her own ears, so she kept it short. "Bye, Mom."

  "Bye," Helen answered. "And Jorie...?"

  "Yes?" Jorie couldn't wait to get off the phone and to get Griffin out of the room. She needed to get herself back together in private.

  "I love you, no matter what," Helen said and ended the call without waiting for an answer.

  I didn't get a chance to say it back! She wanted to call her mother again, just to tell her, but knew that letting herself be overwhelmed by emotions would only put her mother in danger. She could only hope that she would get another chance in the future. Squeezing her eyes shut, she banned the outside world from her consciousness. She kept holding the cell phone to her ear in an attempt to feel close to her mother for just a few moments longer before she faced the harsh reality again.

  When Jorie opened her eyes, Griffin was watching her with the hypnotic, steadfast gaze of a predator. Jorie handed back the cell pho
ne without comment and turned away from Griffin, facing the wall. She hoped, Griffin would get the hint and leave her alone for a while.

  A gentle clearing of her throat announced that Griffin was still there. "Your mother is pretty cool — for a human. I'm glad for you that she took it so well," Griffin said, sounding like the sincere friend Jorie had thought her to be. "I know you were worried."

  Jorie didn't answer. She's right, though. Mom is pretty cool. I never thought she would react like this. I really thought she would cry and wear black for at least a year. I completely misjudged her. Seems I do a lot of that lately. She bitterly looked at Griffin.

  "I'm sorry your mother had to find out like this. I'm sure that wasn't the kind of coming out you imagined." Griffin's regret seemed genuine, but Jorie refused to let herself be fooled again so easily.

  "So she seriously thought we're together, huh?" Griffin said when silence was Jorie's only answer.

  She could hear Mom's side of the conversation? What else can these shape-shifters do? They're incredibly strong and unbelievably fast; they have superhearing, and I think Leigh smelled my presence in the forest. The shape-shifters were unbeatable enemies. Fear and hopelessness threatened to overwhelm her, then transformed to anger. Jorie rolled back around and pushed herself up on one arm to glare at Griffin. Is she now making fun of my private life on top of everything else she has done to me? Is this all just one big joke to her? "You think that's funny?" she asked through clenched teeth. "You tricked my mother into liking you, and if I survive all of this, I will be the bad guy who will have to explain to my mom why I don't want anything to do with you anymore." Not that this was the worst of her problems, but at least it allowed her to ignore what else could happen to her.

  Griffin shrugged. "You could just tell her I rejected you because you're not my type. Just don't tell her it's because I don't date humans," she said with a timid grin.

  Is this her way of trying to get me to trust her again, like she told Leigh? Jorie wondered. How can she believe I would be in the mood to joke around in a situation like this? Is this some lame-ass Wrasa attempt to cheer me up? If it was, it didn't work. All it did was piss her off. "You're not my type either, thank you very much," she curtly answered.