A Paradox in Retrograde

by Faherty, John

  The letter was signed by a Dr. Richard Reinhardt. While putting down the letter his eyes were drawn to a set of moldered photographs. There atop the pile his eyes caught site of a photographic portrait of a lovely young woman. Against her pale white complexion the dark features of her raven hair and eyes seemed to shine like diamonds. Near the bottom a curled up label displayed her name, “Samantha Ananda.” There for a moment he stared captivated into the eyes of the murdered woman. The image for a moment brought him back to the memory of that day. "Now I remember." Into his personal recording device he spoke. "It had been all over the news. The story that had spread from a thousand news agencies had filled the world once again with that primordial fear that had been so long ago abandoned." He shuffled the deck of photos. Interspersed there among the other mundane family photographs were those of the grisly crime scene. A lump formed in his throat as he attempted to reconcile the incongruities. To his conditioning he looked for answers. There were none however to be found. Leaning into the microphone he again spoke, "I can hardly conceive of a state of mind that would be required to stage such a scene of depravity. Perhaps by studies such as these we can again glimpse into the dark primordial heart of our nature."

  He spent the remainder of the day studying the details of the crime. These documents were not for the faint of heart. By the time he reached his home it was seven in the evening. He had seen more than he had wanted to. That night Robert for the first time in years had trouble sleeping. Over and over the bestial images that he had absorbed by studying the case files would not loosen their grip on his psyche. He rose then from his bed early as the sky was still dark and made his way back to the office. It would seem he too now was disquieted by the nagging questions relating to this case. He sat alone on an empty car as his train dashed high above the city. He looked out onto the cloudless night. As he looked, he thought out loud, "There in the entire cold void of space I could never conceive of such a black heart as was possessed by Mr. Ananda. I should have been so lucky as to have had such love. But to destroy that life it is just too incomprehensible. Perhaps my conditioning needs a tune up?" He got to his office before sunrise determined to decide whether to accept this case or not. He began again to review the documents. By the time the sun had arisen he had made up his mind. He called out to Polly, "Polly dear would you please connect a call to Dr. Jamison? I have to work out the details of a deal."

  "Yes Sir right away." It had been several days between from when the deal had been hatched, to when the equipment in unmarked crates began to arrive to an abandoned wing of the NMPH.

  Dr. Amida and a select few trusted technicians were there. Together they were busy upgrading the antiquated power supply to one more appropriate for the new system’s requirements. A special security enclosure made of super strong composite had been installed the day before. It had been designednot only to keep the patient in but also in equal measure to keep those personnel deemed unauthorized out. Its shatter proof plates were programmed to turn opaque when required to do so. But for now the glass was clear. After a while all the components had been integrated and the system was made ready for power up. Dr. Jamison stood beyond one such plate and watched with great interest as the preparations had neared their completion. A loud humming noise began to reverberate in the pit of his stomach as the magnetic field generator was turned on. Its large superconducting arms spun round the axis of central core. Soon the arms were spinning at so great a speed that they became virtually invisible to the unaided eye. The sound too faded had reverted to a white noise. Robert looked up from his display seeming pleased by the job he had done. He caught Jamison’s eye and gestured for him to come. A buzzer sounded and the door beside the plate where he stood opened for him. He walked into he chamber and the door automatically closed and sealed itself behind him.

  Chapter 16

  Ananda as if lost had walked away from the great hall, leaving his work there behind. Now as he drew nearer to the temple an empty feeling of dread came upon him. He felt suddenly out of sorts. Was this feeling due to the fact that he had been so easily beaten at his game? Or was it something else entirely? Not in some long time had he been tricked so. His plan had somehow short circuited. He would of course now need to regroup and reevaluate. The time for preparations however was quickly waning, so were his options. He first would find out as much as was possible about this new set of rivals. Landaus was a likely enemy. Though he had been usurped easily enough, his consciousness yet showed amazing resilience. There however was not much about him within the memory core, beyond what he had already known. And what of Lady Xora, had he drawn so close to her as to let his judgment to be distorted and misguided so? Though these two characters troubled him, his mind’s eye could sense another more ominous contender. Despite this, his memories of Amida would for the time being remain hidden there within that blank spot in his memory. He seemed to reside there shrouded in mist, just outside of conscious recollection. He came upon the set large ornately carved doors that guarded the entrance to the temple. There the carved figures that decorated its surface seemed to dance to some silent rhythm. He now felt his own body moving in the same erratic way as he struggled now to keep his balance. These answers that he came here now to seek, though vital he feared would not help to explain by which strange spell he was now suffering under. He knew this was no motion of the Earth. He managed to somehow keep himself erect as his world spun dizzily. He forced himself to concentrate focusing his vision and attention on single point. This seemed to help for after a moment the wave of distortion had all but dissipated.

  There the once bustling temple was empty now, as the bulk of the citizenry had been co-opted into the war making effort. No one else was there when he walked through the unguarded entrance way of the crystal room. As he strode within the crystalline cells that studded the room’s surface came suddenly alive as if in recognition of his presence. Their flashing patterns of light crossed its entire length. After a brief moment of being exposed so, that sense of dread that had possessed him was replaced by one of calm contemplation. With his rage now well subdued he easily opened his mind up to the crystal room. There ghosts of lives past haunted his thoughts as he accessed therooms memory. There again he saw his beloved Samantha. And again as in the first time, she was older and the clothesshe wore were different. There on her face he saw the expression of fear unlike he had ever seen before. He focused upon the vision of her face as the world around his periphery dissolved into a mist of pixels. The structure of that world in which he stood had fallen around his feet it into an indiscernible heap. There now appearing before him his world reformed into one strange yet familiar. He found himself no longer standing still. Instead he was there in a bedroom in the midst of a heated struggle. He barely could recognize what he saw next. In his clutches he held tightly onto the woman to whom he had long professed his love for. With no control over his body he watched helplessly through his own eyes as his hand held a knife raised high above her. She let out a blood curdling scream that sounded through the channel in his head as an echo down a long corridor. The sound was then joined by another scream closer and more distinct. He soon recognized this second voice to be his own. The world had again dissolved. Around him now formed as if from ether. Though his vision was limited he knew it to be another vaguely unfamiliar setting. He tried to move but again he was paralyzed, though not frozen in place. He could feel now that he was bound and lying on his back. With his back arching and legs he tried with all their might to kick himself free. Again and again he struggled. Trying as he might he could not break the bonds. Strange senses bombarded him. Smells and sounds that his mind raced to recognize. He called out to whoever might hear him. “Voices, I hear voices. Who’s there can you hear me?” Next he a felt a short lived jabbing pain in his thigh. He recognized that is flesh had been punctured. “Ouch, hey what are you doing?” He said as he began to protest. His words however began to trail off as his anger was replaced by one far more placid, as a feeling o
f warm ecstasy cascaded throughout his body.

  An interminable echo seemed to ring within his head as his consciousness again arose as if from a sea of dream. Through the portals of his eyes Ananda looked out on to this new and unrecognizable world. Still bound to his bed he looked around to find himself surrounded by the pristine white walls the color of chalk. There were people there too. Before him stood two figures dressed also in that same sterile tone. Slowly their words from a formless jumble began to register as ones he could understand. Though fully conscious he staredblankly at them pretending to be unconscious as he listened intently to their conversation. There he recognized upon their faces that same specter of fear that he himself had so long ago abandoned.

  The cloud of heavy dream suppressing sedation under which he was imprisoned, had on cue begun now to show signs of waning. Though his senses told him it was morning, he could not be truly sure. For he could not recall the last time he had laid his eyes upon the sun. He was beginning to slowly realize that he may soon have to accept the fact that this was not a dream. Hector was again awake. As the only patient there within the makeshift hospital, he again had found himself alone and bound to his bed in a set of tough leather manacles. The offending sound that jarred him from his sleep was no more than the gentle whirring sound of the air conditioning unit that penetrated the wall of his holding cell. It was one of only five discernable objects in the room. There was the bed in which he lay, a side table, a bedside chair, the door and of course the air conditioner. Each of these items was colored in an identical shade of ivory white. Every five minutes the unit on the wall would automatically blow a measured volume of cool, stale sterile air for exactly thirty seconds. Counting the intervening seconds had for him become an uncontrollable obsession. After having wasted several days there sequestered within the bland and featureless observation room it had become obvious that this now was his ever present reality. He recognized the insidious conditioning technique for what it was; a subtle softening of his mind was underway. He had to admit that despite this foreknowledge, it was working. For this treatment combined with a pharmacopeia of drugs hehad received against his will made him realize he would soon lose everything.

  There was a stirring on the periphery of his vision. There was a change in the light and the air pressure. He now had the sudden a sense that he was not alone. Through a haze his encrusted eyes scanned the gleaming white room until he came upon what appeared to be a seated yet indistinct figure. Beingunsure of the nature to this intrusion, his tear filled eyes struggled to bring it into clear focus. In frustration he called out to the silent figure. "Who are you? Where am I, and how long have I been in this place?" With his eyes squinting he began to focus enough to make out a face. Sitting there before him was a brown skinned man with dark hair and eyes. As this figure began to speak in response, his face grew into sharper focus; "Hello, my name is Robert Amida. Though you do not remember it we have met right here in this room. I'm sorry that our meeting again had to be under such circumstances as these, but this of course could not be helped. To answer your other question, you are in a hospital. It is a special hospital to be sure, but a hospital nonetheless." He leaned in closer. "I guess what you really want to know is, why are you here. The answer to this question, considering your condition may be difficult for you to accept, but I shall do my best.

  "What condition would that be? From my perspective I have been somehow brought here under false pretenses." "What is the last thing you remember?" Hector closed his eyes as the flood of images passed before his mind. The images he saw there were a jumble, a mix of seemingly unrelated events. There was the one memory that he knew deep in his heart, that was not his own. Robert observed as a horrible expression of fear came over Hectors face. "What is it, what do you see there?" Hector shook his head violently back and forth and then he spoke, "Samantha, my wife, I saw her die. I watched it unfold before my eyes. I was there as a man who looked incredibly like myself, murdered her."

  "And what about before that, where were you?

  "I've been through this a dozen times. I don't see the point in doing it again." "Forgive me for the intrusive nature of my questions, but I am truly trying to understand. If what you are saying is true then there should be a means to get there from here. AmI right?" "Well, yes I suppose so."

  "Why then if you believe in it so whole heartedly, do you resist my attempts to help you?"

  Hector closed his eyes and a strained look came over his face before he responded. "I was beginning to doubt it myself." "That's to be expected after what you've been through. However I'm not as concerned as you are about its validity as I am about its meaning. Look Hector, I want to learn more about this world of yours. I feel there in could lay some answers. So then if you would please just humor me."

  "Very well I will tell you, but I doubt it will make much of a difference. I told you, I was within the temple complex at the citadel, I was accessing the captured memories held there within the crystal room." Tears rolled down his face as he began to recount what had happened next. "That is where I first saw what was happening. I rushed forward to stop it. As simple as walking through a doorway I found myself here." When first I came through, I was in some strange place. It was then that I stood paralyzed, unable to move. I tried to help her, but I could not move." Hector now was visibly shaken as a flood of suppressed emotions rolled over him like a tidal wave.

  Robert watched on a set of monitors as the sensor implants registered Hector's reactions in his brain wave patterns in a graphical representation. There was something decidedly different about these patterns. Algorithmic anomalies there also appeared as ghostlike shadows. These regions were unknown and could not be easily reconciled with any previous data. Thesehe thought could perhaps be artifacts of some hidden consciousness. As fascinated as he was about these data potential meaning, he was equally concerned that the formulas may prove to be faulty. A moment later the anomalies were gone. Their signalhad subsided back into the background noise. He reached out to him, putting his hand upon Hector's shoulder.

  "How would you feel if I told you that you have been telling this same story for over two years?"

  "I wouldn't believe it." "That's right it is impossible for you to do so. It's not your fault; you are suffering from a suite of neurological conditions that make it impossible. What if I were to tell you that there may be a way to unburden you from these black holes in your memory? What if there was a way to make you whole again; would you accept it?"

  "Considering the state I now find myself in, do I really have a choice?" "Yes and no, you are a convicted murderer and as such I've been given the authority to do as I please with you, for your life has been deemed forfeit under the law. I on the other hand, I have an aversion to such draconian methods, so I would not do such a thing without your consent. I can however tell you that regardless to how much you remember; in six months’ time your sentence shall be carried out and you will be executed. On the other hand if you were to allow us to go forth you may be given or granted a stay of execution. There are no guarantees of course and much is dependent upon the results we find, but my word has some influence in these quarters. I ask you to think about it. At the very least it may help you put the pieces of this mystery of yours into sharper focus."

  "Leave me now; I shall give you my answer in the morning." "Well alright then, I'll give you some time to mull it over. In the mean time I'll have someone bring you a proper meal." "Thank you." Robert rose from his bedside seat and said, "Until tomorrow then." After providing this feeble gesture he exited the clean room. Following the path through the maze of polyethylene barriers, he made his way toward his onsite office. As he walked he thought of how exciting it was that now he may after these weeks of preparation soon begin to discover this technologies full potential. It had been the first time he had found his subject lucid and he wasn't quite sure how well their interaction had gone. He took consolation in the fact that tomorrow he would know for sure one way or the other. />
  Just then he turned the corner into his office to find he was not alone. There behind his desk was a sullen face Jamison. Robert spoke catching him off guard. "Hello Freddie what brings you down to my neck of the woods?" A startled Jamison responded, "Good heavens you scared the life out of me."

  "I'm afraid you haven't seen half of what's in stall for you. I've just spoken to the subject. He seems as if he may be coming to an understanding of what we need from him. He is not opposed to moving forward. I should have an answer from him by tomorrow."

  "That's the best news I've heard all day. Robert, please take a seat. I’m sorry I know these things are important to you but there is other more important business that we must discuss." Robert evoked a response equal to Freddie’s ominous tone, and so quietly took his seat across the desk and Jamison gesturing for him to continue. "There have been some developments concerning the hospital board of governors that you need to be made aware of. It seems we may be running into a bit of difficulty ona point of ethics."