by Nina Levine
“You alright, sweet thing?” Nash’s voice dragged me out of my restful haze. He was standing behind me and was gently massaging my neck and shoulders. I could grow used to this kind of attention.
I sighed deeply. “Nash, has anyone ever told you how amazing your massages are?”
He didn’t answer me and his hands slowed down. “No,” he said before adding quietly, “I’ve never given massages to anyone else.”
My heart rate sped up, and my body tingled. Nash shared pieces of his heart with the most simplest statements. I wondered if he realised what they meant to me. “Well I’m telling you that your hands are magic.”
He chuckled and then I felt his warm breath next to my ear as he whispered, “I’ve been told that before, sweetheart, but it means more coming from you.”
And I tingled again.
His hands kept working their magic and I closed my eyes, letting his touch ease the tension out of my body. I was sure we could have happily stayed in our own little bubble, however Madison interrupted, dragging us out of it.
“You two going to come inside and join us?” The way she asked made it sound like she almost expected us to say no.
Nash gave my shoulders one last squeeze before taking his hands off me. I missed his touch instantly. “What’s this surprise you’ve got?” he asked her.
She grinned. “She’ll be here soon.”
“She?”
Madison winked at him and nodded. “Yes, she. I think you’ll love the surprise.”
My mind was racing trying to figure out who and what Madison was talking about. Nash appeared to be doing the same. I gave him a questioning look but he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Got no idea, babe.”
We followed Madison inside. Her house was buzzing with people; Scott and Harlow were here with Lisa, J’s sister, Brooke was here with Crystal, and Griff was here too.
Brooke gave me a warm smile. “Hi, Velvet. It’s good to see you again.” We’d met at J and Madison’s wedding, and had spent a lot of the night chatting. She was lovely and I was really happy to see her again.
“Hey, Brooke. You too. How’s that hot fireman treating you?” When I’d met her, she had just started dating a fireman. The photo of him on her phone she’d shown me was hot and I could only imagine what he looked like in real life because photos taken with mobile phones didn’t do anyone justice.
She blushed. “He’s good. I just dropped him at work, otherwise he would be here tonight.”
“I think I’m going to have to meet this man. Anyone who can make you blush the way you just did must be a man worth knowing.” I winked at her.
Nash’s hand slid over my ass and he pulled me close. “You don’t have any free time to meet another man, sweet thing,” he murmured.
Brooke watched us with interest; clearly surprised. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll introduce them, Nash. Velvet’s stunning, and I think she’d steal his attention.” It was her turn to wink at me now.
Nash growled, and his grip on my ass tightened. “She’s busy for the rest of the fuckin’ year,” he said, and I had to stifle a laugh at his possessive attitude. Definitely not the Nash I was used to, but damn it made me glow.
Harlow joined the conversation. “Nash, you’re not going all territorial, are you?”
I wasn’t sure how he would handle this now, but he surprised me yet again by saying, “Yeah, babe, I think I am. And if anyone’s got shit to say about it, I don’t give a fuck.”
He’d managed to surprise Harlow too. She sighed, a dreamy look in her eyes. God help us; Harlow was a born romantic. “I knew it would just take a good woman to make you change your ways.”
Harlow had a way of making you feel good about yourself. Calling me a good woman touched me in unexpected ways. I’d struggled with my self worth growing up and marrying a man who took every opportunity to tell me how worthless I was, hit me even harder. Over the last couple of years, I had dealt with a lot of my issues and was a much stronger woman, but there were days where I questioned myself. Being told I was a good woman by another woman meant a lot.
Nash was amused. “Let’s not get too excited, Harlow. A woman won’t make me change my ways completely.”
She grinned at him. “And we wouldn’t want that, Nash. But I have a feeling that Velvet’s going to change you in all the right ways.”
I was growing uncomfortable with this conversation now. Changing a man was never a goal of mine, and I disliked women who fell in love with the idea of a man only to then spend the rest of their lives trying to change him to be what they wanted. Also, Nash and I were still getting to know each other; I didn’t want to make this out to be more than what it was yet.
I smiled at Harlow, and then looked up at Nash. “I’m going to go and help Madison in the kitchen.”
He nodded, and let me go.
A moment later, I breathed a sigh of relief when I hit the kitchen and found Madison on her own. She looked up at me, and caught the look on my face. Frowning, she enquired, “You okay?”
“Yeah. It was just getting a little intense in there with Harlow and Nash. I needed some space.”
“What? Are they arguing?”
“No. Harlow’s going on about me changing Nash in all the right ways or some shit. I love her, but damn, she’s a hardcore romantic, isn’t she?”
Madison laughed. “Yeah, she really is. And to think she ended up with a biker like Scott; the least romantic man you could find.”
“It’s certainly a strange combination, but it works for them, doesn’t it.”
“Possibly he tames the romantic side of her, tames those unrealistic expectations she might have, and she brings out the tiny bit of romance he has in him.” She shrugged. “I’ve really got no idea, but I’m glad they found each other.”
We fell silent, lost in our own thoughts. I was contemplating Harlow and Scott; it had certainly shocked the hell out of me when he’d pursued her, but she had been the best thing for him. And he had changed in subtle ways. Perhaps that was what Harlow had meant; people change each other without even meaning to.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Madison passed me a pumpkin and some potatoes. “You can be in charge of getting those ready.”
I took them off her. “What’s for dinner?”
“Roast lamb and vegies. And I’m making cheesecake for dessert.”
“Did I hear the word cheesecake?” J asked as he joined us.
“Yeah, baby, I’m making that chocolate one you like,” Madison told him, giving him a huge smile.
He dropped a quick kiss on her lips before taking a swig of his beer. “That’s why I married you, woman.” He grinned at her. “That and your other assets.”
“Yeah, yeah, J. We all know why you really married me.”
“And why’s that?” He leant against the kitchen counter, waiting for her answer, still grinning like an idiot.
“Because you’re a very smart man who knew I was the best thing to ever happen to him.”
He pushed off the counter and leant his face down to give her a longer, deeper kiss. “Can’t argue with that, baby,” he murmured before adding, “Your surprise guest has arrived, by the way.”
“Oh my God, why didn’t you say something?” Madison shrieked, slapping him away from her, and running out to the lounge room.
I was intrigued to see who it was so I followed her out. The sight that greeted me punched me in the chest, and threatened to suck all the happiness out of me.
Serena.
Madison’s best friend, Serena, was in the lounge room. And she was all over Nash. And Nash wasn’t doing anything to stop her. In fact, he had his arms around her, his hands dangerously close to her ass. He was listening intently while she whispered something in his ear. Whatever she said was funny, and he roared with laughter just before she moved her face away from his and laughed with him. My gaze zeroed in on her hand that was placed across his chest; almost in a possessive manner.
Madison reached them
and pulled Serena out of Nash’s arms so she could hug her. “You finally made it!” she exclaimed.
“Yeah, chica, I finally got here,” Serena replied, squeezing Madison back.
They finally let each other go, and Serena passed her car keys to Nash. “Can you bring my bags in, sexy?” she asked him, and I was stunned when he grinned at her and nodded. I watched him walk outside, my heart icing over.
I knew it was a stupid reaction, but I couldn’t control it. Jealousy tore through me at the sight of them together. I’d seen them together at Madison’s wedding and presumed they hooked up afterwards. The chemistry between them was clear for all to see.
“How long you staying for?” Nash asked as he came back in with two bags. “Your car is fuckin’ loaded, babe. Looks like you’re moving in.”
Serena and Madison blasted megawatt smiles in unison. “I am moving in!” Serena announced delivering another blow to me.
Nash’s face lit up, and J grumbled, “Fucking hell, why did I ever agree to this?”
Serena poked her tongue at him. “Oh hush, biker boy.” Then she looked at Nash, and said, “Maybe I’ll move in with Nash instead. He wouldn’t whine like a school girl about having me.”
Laughter erupted from everyone; everyone except me. I stilled, waiting to see where this would all end up. Nash’s eyes found mine, and my heart began beating faster in anticipation of what he would say or do. I hated this; it was exactly why I didn’t do relationships. The not knowing where you stood with someone sucked. This afternoon, I thought I knew where we were at, but now that was all up in the air as far as I was concerned. And that it all rested with Nash paralysed me.
My gut churned with the jealousy I desperately didn’t want to feel while I waited for Nash to make his move. He smiled at me before saying something to Serena. She listened intently to what he said. His gaze was focused on me while he spoke and when he’d finished talking, her gaze followed his until she found me. She smiled, and then smacked him on the back, propelling him in my direction.
He didn’t need much propelling though, he was striding towards me with determination. When he reached me, he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me along as he kept walking into the kitchen.
“Talk to me, sweet thing. What’s going through that mind of yours?” he asked when we were alone.
Nerves gripped me. I didn’t want to admit my jealousy to him. God, we’d only been sleeping together for a week, and it wasn’t like we’d made any promises to each other. In fact, I was sure Nash came with a warning that read ‘no promises will ever be made to any woman’. And even though he’d told me he felt something for me, I wasn’t delusional; men were fickle creatures and he could change his mind at any moment.
Here he was though, looking at me with what looked like worry, and he managed to coax the truth out of me. “It’s not pretty, Nash. You sure you want to know?”
He chuckled. “Baby, none of the shit in my mind is ever pretty. I can cope with ugly; we’re old friends.”
I blew out a breath, and pushed through my fear. He could do what he would with it; at least I’d know where I stood and there would be no more worrying and wondering. “It’s obvious that you and Serena shared something at J’s wedding, and still have some kind of connection. I won’t bullshit you; I was jealous when I saw her all over you.”
“Fuck, Velvet, you amaze me.”
I frowned. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
He smiled, and traced his thumb over my cheek. “It’s a really fuckin’ good thing, sweetheart.”
Impatience circled me. “Okay, so I’m glad it’s a really fuckin’ good thing, but can you tell me why?”
“I haven’t dated a lot of women - ” he stopped when I fixed him with a ‘you’re kidding’ look. “Baby, I won’t lie, I’ve slept with a fuckload of women, but I haven’t dated many. The few I dated, were jealous bitches and never failed to accuse me of shit and argue with me every fuckin’ time they were jealous. We spent more of our time together arguing instead of loving, so for you to have a rational conversation with me about it fuckin’ amazes me.”
“So, continuing this rational conversation, where are you at with Serena?”
Nash looked pissed, and I figured I’d said something wrong. He threw me off when her asked, “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
I instinctively knew that he was referring to James. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I told you last week that I wanted to see where this went for us, that I feel something for you. But at the first hurdle, you assume that I’m out. I’ve watched my mother and sister get dragged down by men, watched them struggle with doubt about themselves. That doubt was put there by those men, and I see that same doubt in you, baby. And I fuckin’ hate it.”
I had to stop my mouth from falling open. Seriously, this man was shocking the shit out of me. Repeatedly. I’d never met a man so in tune with my feelings; a man so perceptive, and willing to get it all out there in the open. Maybe there really was a chance at something here.
“Yes, he did a number on me,” I admitted. “He shredded my self belief and then he kicked me out with nothing to my name, and even less to my self worth. I’ve spent years building myself back up, Nash, and I honestly thought I was over it, but being with you has brought my insecurities out.”
“I can see that, and I want to fix it. I don’t want you to have any doubt about this shit. As far as Serena is concerned, yeah we had sex, but that’s all it was. She and I are too alike to ever work, and to be completely honest, I’m not interested. And I doubt she is either. We kept in touch but just as friends so you have to trust me on that one. Can you do that?”
I trusted Nash implicitly. I had no idea why, but I did. “Yes, I trust you.” My voice was certain. I wanted to give that to him; I sensed he needed that.
“Thank you. Now, about those insecurities of yours... I’m not interested in anyone else. I only want you, Velvet. I haven’t been interested in a relationship with anyone for ten years, baby, so when I tell you that I want one with you, that should tell you how serious I am about this.”
My belly fluttered. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. He’d completely flabbergasted me. He knew it, and curled his arm around my waist, and pulled me close. His lips swept across mine softly before he asked, “Are we on the same page, sweet thing?”
Still at a loss for words, I whispered, “Yes.”
It was enough for him. He smiled and nodded. “Thank fuck for that.”
***
Later that night, after he’d blown my world with his mad sex skills, I curled up next to him in his bed. I snuggled into his chest and he put his arm around me, letting his fingers trail up and down my back.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, a serious tone to his voice.
“You can ask me anything,” I said because I was fast getting to the point where I would trust him with everything.
“Are you close to your father?”
Shit, that question had come out of left field. “No, I don’t have anything to do with him.”
“Tell me about him, sweetheart.” His fingers continued to caress my skin, loving me with their touch; making me feel safe with him.
“He’s a cheating, lying criminal who never cared about my mother or me and my sister.” In my mind, that covered everything he needed to know about my father.
Nash wanted to know more though. “He cheated on your mother?”
“Repeatedly. One of my earliest memories is of my father with another woman on our couch. Turned out she was a friend of my mothers, and stayed over one night after a party. My father screwed her while my mother was asleep upstairs.”
“Are they still together?”
“God, no! She left him when he went to prison the first time about ten years ago.”
Nash was taking this all in, and I loved that he was interested to know about my family. “Where is he now, babe?”
“He’s in prison again. This
time he’ll be in there for awhile because he got mixed up in some bank robberies and they assaulted some of the security guards.” My jaw hurt from clenching it and the first stirrings of a headache surfaced. Talking about my father always upset me.
“So, it’s just been you, your mother and sister for awhile now?”
I bit my lip, not wanting to answer this question. But I had to be honest with him; he’d been honest with me about his stuff so far, it was only fair. “I walked away from my family when I was twenty. Growing up, I’d been embarrassed by them. Kids at school used to pick on me about my white trash family because it was common knowledge what a lowlife my father was. When I got the marks at school to be offered a scholarship to university, I took it and ran.”
Most people were stunned when they discovered I’d studied at uni, but Nash didn’t blink at it. He simply asked, “What did you study?”
“Law.”
“You’re a lawyer?”
I made a habit not to carry bitterness about my past actions, but this was the one area in my life I struggled not to be bitter about. “No, I never finished the degree. I fell in love and gave it all up.”
He was incredulous. “You gave it up for James?”
“Yes. He was everything I never was, and he wooed me with all that glitters.” It was painful to admit that I’d fallen for him and what I thought a life with him would mean.
“I just don’t see it, babe. He’s an asshole. And the Velvet I know doesn’t give a shit about money.” He was struggling to believe me, and I liked that. I liked that he didn’t see me as that person because she was shallow, empty woman.
“Nash, I’ve changed a lot since then, but back when I met James, I would have done anything to escape my background. I thought that I could change everything about me and my life, and it would make me happy. When he asked me to be his wife, I honestly thought he was everything I’d ever wanted. And I didn’t have to think twice when he suggested I give up my studies to concentrate on building a family with him. I’m just lucky that my mum and sister welcomed me back with open arms when I finally walked away from him.”