The Complete Collection of Travel Literature

by Tahir Shah

  At that, Feroze leapt to his feet.

  “My friend,” he responded, “don’t blame me for your own negligence.”

  “But what do I do now?” I asked, hoping to break the awkward silence which followed the Master’s outburst. “What’s the next part of the course?”

  Feroze Hakim hurled his beloved bull’s pizzle riding crop to the floor. Then, seething with fury as I had never seen him before, he yelled:

  “The course is over!”

  “Over? So suddenly? Is that it?”

  “Am I obliged to forewarn you of my decisions?”

  “Have I passed?”

  “How dare you denigrate this work by speaking in terms of pass and failure,” said the magician with characteristic iciness. “The pursuit of illusion is not about studying for prizes, or for study’s sake. There’s no right or wrong, no pass or fail. I have revealed to you the basic principles, and shown you what to look for. The rest is up to you …”

  The Master was interrupted by a rapping at the church door. A second later it came again, louder than before. Strange, I thought, because when Bhalu had entered, the door hadn’t been locked. I asked Feroze who it might be. A fist struck the door a third time.

  “Curious, aren’t you?” he said. “Better go and have a look.”

  I stood up and paced back down the nave like a sleep-walker. Of course I was inquisitive. But after the events of the Afghan Church, little could surprise me. I twisted the handle clockwise, and wrenched the hefty oak portal inwards.

  There was no one waiting on the outside. Slamming the door shut, I went back into the nave and marched back down the central aisle to the altar.

  But Feroze and Bhalu had disappeared.

  I called their names. There was no reply.

  Glossary

  Aga: sir; term of respect; loan-word from Persian and Turkish.

  Aghori: one of several specific kinds of sadhu found in India, traditionally said to have been cannibalistic. Close to traditional shamans in their beliefs, they are thought to have the power to control spirits.

  Anglo-Afghan Wars: three wars fought on Afghan soil between the British and Afghans – waged between 1839 and 1919 – in which the British were defeated conclusively each time.

  Aquasonic® gel: a gel solution applied to an area (especially of the abdomen) before an ultrasound examination. See ultrasound.

  areca: nut from the betel palm (sopaari in Hindi); essential ingredient for the preparation of paan.

  Ashpaz, Khalifa: the master chef of the Hindu Kush, renowned for his colossal feasts, employed by Jan Fishan Khan.

  ashram: center for spiritual learning.

  Avatar: the incarnation of a Hindu god, usually Vishnu; a godman.

  Ayurvedic: the ancient art of Hindu medicine, relying on the use of herbs, massage and meditation.

  Bandicota indica: infamous gray-backed bandicoot common in India; one of the largest and hungriest rats in the world.

  barafwalla: ice merchant or haulier; common sight in Indian cities and towns, where refrigeration still relies on blocks of ice.

  Berndorf: town in Austria (south-west of Vienna) famous for its metal works and shell-casing factories at the time of the World War I.

  bezoar. reddish stone found in the entrails of animals; concretion like a kidney stone. Also said to be extracted from an aged toad’s head. Forms a powerful amulet or talisman; especially against poison.

  bhang: (Cannabis indica); preparation of pounded marijuana, from the hemp plant which is used in offerings at temples – such as Calcutta’s Kali temple.

  bharh: miniature fired clay cup used to drink tea in Bengal and other regions; afforded no value and disposed of after a single use.

  bhishtiwalia: one who sells drinking water carried in a goat hide; popular sight in Calcutta.

  Bihari: person from the state of Bihar in north-eastern India. Many menial jobs in Calcutta are performed by impoverished Biharis.

  bindi: dot – usually vermilion – frequently worn on the forehead of Hindu women. See tikka.

  biri: small hand-rolled tobacco cigarette, popular in India. Often made by bonded laborers in Tamil Nadu.

  Black Hole of Calcutta: prison cell where 146 British captives – held by the Nawab of Bengal – were incarcerated on the night of 20TH June 1756; all but 23 suffocated.

  Bollywood: India’s most famous film studios, responsible for making hundreds of three-hour movie extravaganzas each year.

  Brahmin: highest caste in India.

  BSE: bovine spongiform encephalopathy; a neurological disease occurring in the brain and spinal column of infected cattle.

  Cagliostro, Alessandro: “Prince of Quacks”; celebrated eighteenth-century Italian mountebank, magician and illusionist.

  Cannabis indica: hemp plant commonly found in India from which marijuana, or bhang, is prepared.

  chai-i-sabs: green tea; a popular drink frequently served in Afghanistan, Pakistan and northern India.

  chaitan: the “devil’s tree”, the bark of which is powdered and burned by magicians to stupefy an audience.

  chakotra: grapefruit, popular citrus fruit in India.

  champa: [Michelia champa); low tree sacred to Hindus bearing fragrant creamy-white flowers.

  chandni: silver.

  chapatti: unleavened wheat bread.

  chappal: slipper; used to mean “sandal”.

  charpoy. literally “four legs”; simple rope bed without a mattress commonly seen on the streets of Indian towns and villages.

  Chennai: original Indian name for Madras.

  chilam: ritual clay pipe, as used by sadhus; regularly used for smoking marijuana or hashish.

  chloroform: colorless sweet-smelling liquid formerly used as an anesthetic.

  Chowkidar. Watchman.

  Choolah: small stove.

  Chor Bazaar: Thieves’ Market; the area in Mumbai where antique European and Indian objects can be found.

  Chor: thief.

  chowk: square, market area.

  chukka: ankle-high laced boot, usually crafted from suede, resembling a polo boot, hence the name.

  chullu: bootleg liquor, generally made from distilled grain.

  coco-de-mer. mysterious nut of the coco-de-mer palm, which takes seven years to mature; native only to the island of Praslin in the Seychelles; wondrous mystical and medicinal properties have been attributed to the nuts in eastern Africa, the Middle East and in India.

  daal: dish of cooked lentils popular throughout India.

  dada: literally “Big Brother”; used to refer to gangster leaders and members of the Mafia operating at street level in Calcutta and other Indian cities.

  darshan: audience with a holy person.

  das: ten.

  dhobi: laundry; also person who does laundry, usually by hand.

  Dhobi’S itch: unpleasant eruption of the skin, particularly that of the inner thighs.

  dhyaan: literally “concentration”, state of trance entered by Hindu mystics,

  diazepam: sleeping pill and muscle relaxant containing benzodiazepine.

  dom: person infamous in West Bengal for stealing skeletons. See: konkalwalla.

  doxology: the study of hymns,

  drugget: coarse hair and cotton woven rug.

  ek: one.

  ek-bahu: ritual penance as performed by a sadhu; such as standing on one foot or holding an arm upright for a number of years.

  Englezabad: town on the border with Bangladesh, founded by the British in the late seventeenth-century as a trading post; also known as English (or “Ingraz”) Bazar.

  erukkam: plant, the poisonous milk of whose flowers is used as a preparation to kill unwanted (female) new-born babies.

  Fakir: Muslim holy man.

  Fenny: distileded drink made from cashew or coconut, especially popular in Goa.

  Ganesha: Hindu deity – especially popular in Maharashtra – usually represented with the head of an elephant and the body of a man.

  Ganga:
River Ganges; sacred water obtained from the river.

  Gardiner: type of teapot named after an Englishman who founded a legendary ceramics factory in imperial Russia.

  geophagy: condition whereby humans eat earth.

  ghamela: crude shovel used by ghamelawallas.

  ghamelawalla: person who buys dirt from a jeweler workshop’s floor and extracts minimal amounts of gold from it.

  ghanti: literally “bell”; especially the small bell carried by all rickshawallas in Calcutta to announce their presence so that people to move out of their way.

  ghat: steps leading down to a river or waterline; especially those in the holy city of Varanasi at which Hindus descend to the River Ganges.

  ghee: clarified butter used in numerous Indian dishes.

  Go: Japanese board game for two players, similar to draughts, but exceedingly difficult to master.

  Goadbaba: literally “Mr. Sweet”; person who claims the ability of making anything taste of sugar merely by touching it.

  godman: holy man claiming divine and miraculous powers, typically resorting to dubious methods to create illusions.

  Grey-backed bandicoot: see Bandicota indica.

  guru: teacher or mentor; literally “he who dispels darkness”; also guruji, where -ji is a suffix denoting respect.

  haa: yes.

  Habbakuk: codename used during World War II for Pyke’S invention “Pykrete”. See Pykrete.

  Haji: Muslim who has been on the pilgrimage to Mecca.

  Hammaam: Turkish-style steam bath.

  Hand of Fatima: symbolic outstretched hand, commonly found across the Islamic world, associated with Fatima – daughter of the Prophet Mohammed – signifying his family and the duties of every Muslim. Herizi: relating to the Heriz region of Azerbaijan, known for its fabulous coarse tribal rugs, usually displaying geometric patterns and a central medallion.

  hilsa: medium-sized salt-water fish which spawns in freshwater.

  Hindi: one of the most widely spoken languages in India; especially in the north of the country. Hindustan: India; literally “Land of Hindus”.

  Hobson-Jobson: dictionary of colloquial Anglo-Indian words and phrases, first published in 1886; renowned for its lore and extraneous information.

  Houdini, Harry: legendary American illusionist and escapologist (1874- 1926); credited with devising hundreds of illusions, as well as exposing mediums and others (claimed by him) to be fakes.

  Hydra: ferocious nine-headed water monster of Greek myth.

  idli: steamed rice-cake popular in southern India.

  Ikat: highly specialized system of weaving, perfected in India, where the warp, weft, or both threads, are tie-dyed before being woven; creating subtle designs on the cloth.

  Ipecac: (Cephaelis ipecacuanha); South American shrub, a preparation of whose root is used as an emetic. Correctly called ipecacuanha,

  jabba: (Hibiscus rosa-siensis); red hibiscus or China rose, whose large red flowers are popular adornments at temples.

  jadoo: magic.

  jadoowalla: magician; person said to have miraculous powers.

  Jain: peaceful religious group in India, whose founder – Mahavira – broke away from Hinduism during the sixth-century BC.

  Jalasayin: ghat at Varanasi where the deceased are cremated on enormous funeral pyres on the banks of the Ganges; also known as “Burning Ghat”.

  jaldi: hurry up; quickly!

  jalebi: deep-fried syrupy batter snack, yellow orange in color, popular throughout India.

  jalousie shutters: slatted shutters built into a window-frame or door, the angle of whose horizontal slats can be adjusted to admit light and air, but to exclude sun and rain.

  jambiya: curved Arab dagger, often with a silver scabbard and a rhino-horn hilt; the most prized examples are produced in Yemen.

  Jami”a Masjid: great mosque near the Red Fort in Old Delhi; the largest mosque in India.

  Jamun: (Stzygium cumini); Java plum tree, found throughout India, especially abundant in the south. Known for its rough bark, oval leathery leaves and white flowers.

  Jan-guru: witch-hunter and exorcist whose trials (especially in remote Indian villages) supposedly detect “genuine” witches.

  Janissary: member of an elite military unit of the Turkish army, formed during the fourteenth century, and famed for their marching band – the oldest in the world.

  jinn: spirit, especially a kindly or mischievous one.

  Kaaba: cubical building standing in the courtyard at the central mosque in the holy city of Mecca, containing a sacred black stone; the central focus of pilgrimage for Muslims.

  Kabuli: relating to Kabul, capital city of Afghanistan.

  Kali: devouring, destructive goddess (meaning “black” in Sanskrit); depicted as a vile woman bathed in blood, with a protruding tongue.

  Kalighat: name from which “Calcutta” is derived.

  kamandal: ritualistic water vessel carried by many sadhus.

  Kanji: starchy water in which rice has been washed.

  Klashi: name for the holy city of Varanasi, sacred to Hindus, situated on the River Ganges.

  kelim: pile-less tapestry-woven rug frequently produced in bright colors; crafted in Turkey and other Near Eastern countries.

  Kellar, Harry: American illusionist and conjuror, contemporary and great friend of Harry Houdini.

  Kishmish: mixture of nuts and dried fruit popular in Afghanistan, Pakistan and northern India.

  Kiswah: immense black cloth mantle, embroidered with gold calligraphy, crafted each year for the Kaaba at Mecca.

  Kohl: antimony; brittle, silvery metal used powdered as an eye make-up.

  Koli: traditional fishermen of Mumbai.

  konkalwalla: literally “skeleton-man”; i.e. someone engaged (especially in Calcutta) in the business of selling human skeletons. See: dom.

  kundalini: yogic idea of a divine energy coiled like a serpent at the base of the spine, which is activated by exercise.

  lakh: one hundred thousand.

  lungi: loincloth, worn in India and some neighboring countries; loanword from Persian, in which it correctly means “turban cloth”.

  machhi: fish.

  Mahabharata: ancient Sanskrit epic poem consisting of more than 220,000 lines, recounting the war between the Pandavas and the Kauravas.

  Mahout: person who trains, keeps, or drives an elephant.

  maidan: open space, especially a grassland, in a town.

  Mandir: temple.

  Marathi: Indo-Aryan language spoken in the state of Maharashtra.

  Margashitsa Karthe star: star in the Hindu solar system whose appearance in early summer marks the start of the Gowds’ miracle asthma cure in Hyderabad.

  masjid: mosque.

  mattar-paneer: spiced dish of peas and curd cheese.

  mehendi: reddish-orange preparation made from the leaves of the henna shrub [Lawsonia inermis), used to dye the hair and hands, especially at time of marriage.

  mogra: [Jasminum ambac); fragrant off-white flower of the Arabian jasmine plant, used in garlands for a woman’s hair.

  moksha: salvation, spiritual liberation, when the soul ascends to Paradise,

  monosodium glutamate: white crystalline powder used to enhance the flavor of savory food, (chemical formula: HOOC.CH(NH2)CH2CH2COONa).

  muezzin: the Muslim call to prayer.

  Mughal: dynasty of Mongols, of the line of Genghis Khan, who conquered India and were its Emperors immediately before the British advent.

  mujahed: one who fights in a holy war (literally “struggler”). According to traditions, there are two kinds of Muslim Jihad: the lesser, armed struggle, and the Greater, with the mind and tongue.

  Mumbai: original Indian name for Mumbai.

  murgh mussallam: spiced chicken dish especially popular in northern India.

  Mutiny of 1857: major revolt of Hindu and Muslim troops within the British Army; known as the “sepoy Mutiny” by the British, and the Revolt of 1857 by Indians.


  naan: unleavened bread popular in the northern areas of India, as well as in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

  Naga: people from several distinct warrior tribes from north-east India, known traditionally for their head-hunting practices.

  namaskar: Hindu greeting of bowing the head and placing the palms together.

  namaste: common Hindi greeting (literally “I salute all divine qualities in you”); often accompanied by namaskar.

  naswar: green-colored snuff favored by those living in the Himalayas.

  Nawab: landowner or governor of an area of land; title relating to “prince”.

  neem: (Azadirachta indica); a large evergreen tree common in India, used in the preparation of medicinal oils; its twigs are used to clean the teeth.

  obsessive-compulsive disorder: anxiety disorder in which a person is preoccupied by recurrent activities or habits.

  Oriya: Indo-Aryan language spoken in the state of Orissa, in eastern India,

  ossuary: chamber in which bones are stored; especially those periodically exhumed from a small cemetery.

  paan: leaf of the betel palm, combined with an astringent mixture of areca nut, lime, tobacco, etc.; the concoction – which is chewed – is very popular in India. The remains are generally spat out after chewing, staining the ground crimson.

  pabda: small salt-water fish popular in West Bengal.

  paisa: one hundredth part of a rupee; also used to mean “money”,

  palanquin: covered litter suspended from four poles, borne by attendants; common in India until late nineteenth-century, superseded in Calcutta and other cities by the rickshaw.

  Punch: five.

  Panchganga: one of the ghats at Varanasi.

  Parsi: Persian Zoroastrians, who settled in Mumbai in 1670 at the invitation of the British. Parsis fled Persia during the seventh-century AD and settled in what is now the Indian state of Gujarat.

  Partition: process of the splitting of the Hindu-Muslim India, in 1947 to form what is now Pakistan, Bangladesh (then East Pakistan) and India.

  Pashtu: language of the Pashtuns (incorrectly called “Pathans”); the most common language in eastern Afghanistan.

  Pashtun: mountain people numbering about twelve million, fabled for their bravery, located mainly in eastern Afghanistan and north-west Pakistan.