I pulled myself back to the present, turning in the saddle to glance back at Dothan. He winked. My smile grew even wider as I pictured him quietly cheering in my ear last night every time the other team scored. I loved that he could be himself around me, without the fear of being exposed by an accidental touch. Of course, we’d fought hard to get to this place.
I drew in a deep breath, filling my lungs with crisp air as we entered the woods. Beau nickered softly, as though he could sense my contentment. Reaching forward, I ran my hand over the warm gray hair of his neck.
The October sun filtered through the trees, setting fire to the gold and red leaves above. Vivid colors brightened every corner of the forest, from the ruby red berries among the tangled undergrowth to the rich green needles of the towering pines. Blue jays darted through the low bushes, looking for food. Aside from their calls, the only other sounds were the distant drill of a woodpecker and the soft rhythm of the horses’ hooves.
A half hour later, we arrived at the clearing by the stream. It had only been two weeks since we celebrated my birthday here, and yet it felt like a lifetime ago. Once again, I hobbled the horses as Dothan removed the cantle bags and set up our lunch.
He spread the same striped blanket out near the water and arranged a pile of food in the middle. This time it was chicken salad on croissants, sliced apples, and chocolate chip cookies. A miniature bottle of champagne sat beside two plastic cups.
“Wow,” I said, pulling off my riding helmet. “I’m impressed.”
“Well, you’ve seen my state of the art kitchen,” he said with a wry smile. “Or maybe I can’t take credit for preparing anything but the sliced apples. Everything else is courtesy of The Gourmet Pantry.”
“They sold you champagne?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. I sank down onto the blanket, admiring the spread.
“No. But I’ve got my resources. I knew you liked it, since you mentioned getting a bottle for your birthday.” He kneeled down across from me and picked up the bottle.
“I do.” I watched him pop the cork as my mind whirled. Were we celebrating something? Hopefully I hadn’t forgotten the anniversary of some important milestone for us. “Thanks,” I murmured, accepting a plastic cup full of sparkling wine.
“I have something else for you.” His dimples flickered as he reached into one of the cantle bags and pulled out a wrapped package.
“Okay, wait a minute. What’s the occasion?” I chewed on my lip, waiting to find out what I’d forgotten. A fat bumblebee hovered over the open champagne bottle before returning to a clump of fall wildflowers.
“The occasion is I love you. Open it.” He handed me a cube-shaped box neatly wrapped in crimson paper.
A satin ribbon fastened with a gold embossed sticker confirmed what I’d guessed: the gift was from Somerset Saddlery, my favorite tack store. It was not a shop that carried inexpensive items. My pulse quickened as I admired the beautiful package.
“Open it,” he repeated with a chuckle. He filled his own glass with champagne, and the rising bubbles glittered in the sunlight.
I slid my finger under the side flap, unwrapping the present carefully so as not to rip the thick paper. It was too beautiful to just tear off.
A thin belt lay coiled on tissue paper inside the box. I glanced up at Dothan before I lifted it out. The black leather was supple and rich; the simple silver buckle resembled an English riding spur. As I unfurled it, I noticed two pewter plates fastened to the sides. Each was inscribed with a name in flowing cursive: “Jamie” on one, “Beau” on the other. Belts were required in the show ring, but this was a luxury item, personalized now with sentimental value.
I stared at him in amazement. How could I even begin to tell him what this meant to me? If his plan was to finally render me speechless, he’d succeeded.
My lip quivered slightly as I hugged the belt to my chest. “It’s perfect,” I finally managed. “Thank you.”
“It’s for when you start showing again, in the spring.” Pushing his hair behind his ear, he looked at me hopefully. “I’m no expert, but I can tell you’re good, Jamie. Really good.”
A faint warmth pooled in my cheeks. “I used to be pretty good,” I acknowledged. Jumping was not just about staying atop your mount and clearing the poles within the allotted time. Calculations had to be made; riders had to determine the proper number of strides to allow between each obstacle in a new course. I was a bit out of practice, since I’d settled into a familiar routine in the Fox Run ring. But I could probably be ready for the spring shows. “You’ll really come with me?”
“Of course I will. I already talked to Mr. White about it, and he said we could use Fox Run’s truck and trailer. I guess that will be my challenge: learning how to drive it safely.”
“If my mom could do it, you can.” A slight smile curved my lips as I remembered our first few forays with the trailer. My mother had driven so slowly, I probably could have walked along beside the pickup truck and kept pace.
After admiring the belt for a few more seconds, I tucked it back into its tissue nest. “Thank you so much for this, Dothan,” I repeated. “I love it. And you.”
I replaced the lid, and the silver bracelets he’d given me for my birthday jingled on my wrist. A little wave of guilt washed over me. The jewelry, the belt, the food…and how much had it cost to frame that picture? “I can’t wait to wear this in the show ring,” I said, gesturing toward the gift box. “But you shouldn’t be spending so much money on me.”
“Who should I be spending my money on?” He feigned confusion, pulling his eyebrows together.
“Well, you should save it—for your future.”
He removed the plastic wrap from the sandwiches and handed one to me. “I still have a little money left from when I sold off everything to go looking for…well, you know.” He pressed his mouth into a thin line. “I did burn through a lot of it in my travels, but I’m making money now. Plus I live at the stable for free,” he finished, biting into his own sandwich.
I took a deep breath. “What about the future, though?” I asked carefully. I didn’t want to spoil the mood. But these were important questions. “Are you going to pursue veterinary school? I think you should.”
He chewed thoughtfully. “Well, I’d need a college degree first. I earned my high school diploma early, and I did take a few online college courses. But obviously I’ll need to complete college in order to apply to vet school, and that will take a lot of money.”
“So start saving now. There are all kinds of student aid loans we can both apply for. Then maybe after I graduate next year, we could go somewhere together.” I dropped my gaze to my sandwich. Was I being too presumptuous? I picked at the flaky croissant as I waited for his answer.
“Me at an actual college campus? That might be tough. I electrify everyone I touch.” He laughed, the sound hollow and sad.
“So only touch me.” Had I really just said that? Oh, my God. Our eyes locked, and I blew out a breath as a real grin spread across his face.
“I like the way you think,” he said, his dimples flashing wickedly. “But sometimes people want to shake hands. Or bump fists, or high five, whatever. And sometimes it just happens by accident.”
“But I’ll be there. That’s the beauty of the plan. You can use excuses or avoidance tactics if you’re alone, and when we’re together, you can use me.” Wow, I thought to myself as I heard the words out loud. I wasn’t even trying for innuendo that time. I tore off a big bite of sandwich to shut myself up.
His hand froze in midair, holding an apple slice. He stared at me as the seconds dragged out. “Are you out of your mind?” he asked, pointing the apple slice at me accusingly. “I heard how badly that hurt you at the cabin, you know.”
I swallowed and reached for my champagne. Taking a bubbly sip for courage, I shrugged. “It didn’t kill me. And I gave you enough power to kill a full blooded Fallen. Blocking the current will be nothing.”
“My God, Jamie. You really do
have an argument for everything.”
I nodded, popping the last of my sandwich into my mouth.
Dothan sighed, fixing me with his cool topaz gaze. “While we’re at it, then…when you talk about the future, have you considered the fact that I could never give you a normal life? Obviously I’d never risk getting you pregnant…we’d be trying desperately to avoid that. You couldn’t have kids.”
Blood surged to my cheeks, but I refused to look away. If we were going to commit to each other, this was a discussion that had to happen. I shook my head firmly. “That does not mean we couldn’t have kids. Do you know how many children out there need homes? We could adopt, if we…” I trailed off, my breath catching on the “M” word.
“Got married?” he finished for me, reaching for my hand. He rubbed my left ring finger. “I like to think it could happen someday. But I’m not sure it would be the best thing for you.”
“I am. As long as we love each other, nothing you can throw at me is a deal breaker. So you may as well give up.”
He frowned at me. “You can be very stubborn. I’m pointing these things out for your own good.”
“I realize that. But you are not going to convince me we don’t belong together. So maybe we should find something to do other than argue.” I gave him an innocent look over the rim of my glass as I twined my fingers with his.
His eyes darkened. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” he said huskily, pulling me towards him. His free hand swiped away the remainder of our lunch as he tumbled me onto the blanket.
He stretched himself over me, pressing our bodies together as he nibbled my neck. I heard him murmur something about “dessert”.
“We have chocolate chip cookies,” I said breathlessly. My palms slid over the smooth skin of his lower back.
“This is better,” he answered, his voice muffled by his roving kisses. He made his way to my trembling lips, crushing our mouths together.
Electricity sizzled between us, the connection so fierce I was sure it would feel the same even if he didn’t have a divine current running through his veins. His hands traveled over my flesh, spreading exquisite trails of fire. His knee pressed against me, and a powerful ache settled in my belly. I couldn’t get enough of him. Finally, we drew apart, sharing tortured groans and whispered promises of things to come.
He rolled onto his back, pulling me into the cradle of his arms. Brushing his lips across the top of my head, he said, “Well, if I’m going to have a future, I’ll need to straighten some things out. I sort of fell off the grid. I didn’t bother with things like forwarding bills; I didn’t really expect to make it to my nineteenth birthday.”
My heart contracted painfully. I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would block out the unbearable sadness. But an alternate course of this autumn’s events played out behind my eyelids—a horrible scenario in which Dothan had succeeded in killing Nathaniel and had then lost his own life as punishment. “I can’t stand to even think about it,” I said, a violent shudder running through me.
His shoulder lifted in a small shrug. “I didn’t really want to live to see nineteen.” He ran his hand over my hair, twirling a curl around one finger. “Now I do. You make me look forward to every day.”
My throat tightened. “It’s the same for me,” I managed. A silvery dragonfly landed on my hip, its delicate form blurring as I blinked back tears.
“I’m glad to hear that.” The warmth in his voice hinted at a smile. “And now I have the hope of seeing my dad again someday.” He paused, still playing with my hair. “Do you think you’ll ever try to find your father?”
“No.”
A cool breeze stirred the air around us. Dothan started to talk, hesitated, and then began again. “Jamie, I’m not trying to defend his actions. But people make mistakes.” His muscles tensed. “I almost tried to kill Nathaniel. Maybe your dad regrets leaving.”
Anger pricked at my good mood. “Then he can try to find me.” I clenched my jaw, grinding my molars together. I needed a peppermint to chomp on.
“He probably thinks you wouldn’t want to see him.”
“He’d be right,” I snapped. Oh, hell. I was getting mad at the wrong person. Reaching up, I ran my fingertips over the light stubble shadowing his face. “Sorry. I don’t know…maybe I’ll feel differently someday. But even if I did want to look for him, there’s not a lot to go on.”
“I’d help you. I’m good at detective work,” he added wryly.
I laughed at his grim joke. “Clearly.” Against the odds, he’d found Nathaniel, as well as the book he shouldn’t have known existed. And that had led him to me. While I wished we’d met under different circumstances, I was sure things had worked out the way they were supposed to. Despite his concerns about his inability to give me a “normal” life, I knew we belonged together. But had I convinced him the only future I wanted was with him? And was that truly what he wanted? I had to know.
“What if I decide to search for him five years from now?” I asked. “Maybe you’ll have moved on by then.”
His arms tightened around my waist. “Moved on from you? No. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“I’m good with that.” I burrowed even closer to him, laying my head on his chest. His hand curled around my shoulder.
I wasn’t naïve enough to think we wouldn’t face challenges. But judging from everything we’d been through so far, I was pretty sure we could overcome any obstacle, as long as we were together.
I opened my mouth to tell him that, and then I stopped myself. He knew. And filling the silence was no longer necessary with Dothan. I was comfortable around him. His presence still gave me butterflies, but they were born of anticipation, not anxiety. So instead of talking, I listened to the sound of Dothan’s heart, beating steadily beneath my ear.
Acknowledgements
This is the first time I’ve written a thank you page; not because I’m not filled with overwhelming gratitude, but because I’m terrified of leaving someone out. Please forgive me if I do—between homework assignments, sports schedules, step routines, plot twists, and fictional characters, there’s very little vacancy left inside my head most days. So I’ll start with a blanket thank you to all my readers and everyone who has supported me in this journey. It’s been a crazy but wonderful ride thus far.
My Beta reader for DIVINE FALL, Allison O’Keefe, deserves special recognition. She donated a great deal of her time to this project and provided me with valuable feedback on each and every chapter. I truly appreciate all your help, Allison.
Over eight years and three books, I’ve done a lot of research—and I’ve asked a lot of bizarre questions. Many people have lent me their expertise on subjects ranging from horseshows to human remains. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to help me with specific scenes in all three books: Kerry, Roger, Scott, Jenni, Amber, Mary, Debbi, John, and Karen of Bare Bones Consulting. All mistakes are my own. Lori is always there for me when I need a fresh pair of editorial eyes to look over something. And Jamie was my biggest fan, tirelessly cheering me on through our years of friendship. I’m lucky to have known him.
A big shout out to the members of LTV, who are very much my “RL” friends. We have an amazing community, and you guys have stood behind me every step of the way. Also, I am town.
Thank you to all my gym ladies, who motivate me daily and provide support beyond our fitness goals. I’m so grateful to have such an inspirational group of women in my life. And thank you to everyone at TWRP for helping me achieve my dream. I’m proud to be a Rose.
Last but most definitely not least, my awesome friends and family. No words can describe my thanks adequately, and if I list the multitude of ways you’ve all helped me, I’ll have another book. But I do have to mention my personal hero, my husband, who listens to all my book chatter and patiently talks me off a ledge when I’ve written myself into a corner. Thanks, hon. Without your steadfast faith and encouragement, I’d still be say
ing, “Maybe someday.”
Also by Kathryn Knight
SILVER LAKE
GULL HARBOR
“Mystery mixed with romance makes for an intense and satisfying read. SILVER LAKE has both elements perfectly balanced throughout.”
~ Between the Pages Spotlight Review
“In GULL HARBOR, the author skillfully weaves the ghost story and romance from separate strands that eventually become entangled. Pace, plot, story, dialogue, and characters combine into a thrilling and thoroughly entertaining page-turner that should delight paranormal romance readers.”
~ My Shelf Book Reviews
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