by Lauren Wood
I got out before the door could be opened for me and I didn’t even once look back. I didn’t even know where I was, but all in all I was worried about what happened next. I needed to work something out and get out of here before I was pulled back in under his spell.
My thoughts of escape were silenced when he took my arm in his and pulled me close to his side. “You are just too damn beautiful tonight Meri. I am not going to be able to let you leave my sight.”
His words made me blush and I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to know what he did to me.
“I thought you said you were going to be good Sam?” I was still upset about the conversation minutes before in the car. Just because we were at a party for charity, it didn’t make me less apt to forget about it.
“I promise that I will be good Meri, just give me another chance.” He didn’t mean that he would act responsibly. It meant that he would pleasure me well. That I had no doubt of. Sam was always good for that, if nothing else. But what I didn’t get was why he was being so pushy all of a sudden. It had been a couple of months since that lunch we had in that restaurant, but now he was giving me far too much of his time and attention. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with it.
“Like I said, I am only staying for a little bit Sam, but thank you for the invitation. It can feel lonely around the holidays.”
“That it can, especially when you are not with the one you love.”
His eyes met mine and I looked away quickly. Here I was reading into everything he said and it was just screwing with my brain. Was this what he did on purpose or was it me, reaching for what I wanted to hear?
“Yes, that can be hard. Are you staying in the city tomorrow?”
“I don’t have anywhere else I would rather be. I know of a person I would like to spend it with, spend all day unwrapping her like a present, but I will have to keep my thoughts to myself.”
Now I knew that he was talking about me and us. I was uncomfortable to say the least, but we were walking into a large mansion and I didn’t have any more time to think about it. He had failed to tell me that it was the Kennedy Christmas Party that we were going to. It was a charity event, but it was also one of the biggest to-do parties of the year. If I would have known we were coming here, I would have insisted that I get to go home to change. I felt frumpy and I pulled the scarf off of my neck and put it around my waist.
“Why didn’t you tell me this is where we were going?”
“I don’t know. I thought you might now want to come.”
He was right. I might not have wanted to, but now it was too late. I had been so busy talking to him when we got out of the car that I didn’t notice where I was. “I am not dressed for this.”
“You look stunning and every woman here is going to be looking at you with envy.”
If they did, I knew that it would be the man on my arm and nothing to do with the fifty dollar dress that I was wearing. There was more money in this room then in the rest of the world and here I was in the middle of it all. It didn’t make sense to me and again I felt this feeling that I was in a dream, about to wake up. How was I back here in this world, with Sam?
Chapter 18
Meri
“I think it is time to go home Sam. Is your driver still out front?”
“I am not leaving until you meet me in the other room. We have unfinished business since the restaurant.”
I couldn’t believe that he was saying those sorts of things to me. I knew what he wanted and when I checked his face, I could see that he was not going to be put off so easily.
“We are at a party. There is nowhere to do that sort of thing here, besides that, it wouldn’t be right.”
“I don’t worry about what is right or wrong Meri. That is wasted on people that care to be proper. I don’t have that problem at all.”
“I do, though I have never considered it a problem before.”
“What will it take for you to come with me? Just for a few moments.”
“Nothing Sam. This isn’t meant to be.”
He pulled me to him so fast that it took my breath away and in front of everyone that was around us at the party, Sam pulled me in for a kiss. It was a devastating touch and I wasn’t sure what to do. I could feel my body molding against his, I couldn’t stop it. I wanted him so badly and I finally couldn’t surrender my thoughts anymore. I was his, always had been and the more he touched me, the more I was lost in the moment.
I heard some ruckus behind us, people there were making comments and I pushed Sam’s chest away from me. I didn’t see anyone that I knew, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.
“Let’s go somewhere private Meri. I really think that we need to talk this through. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I want to get back to what we are good again. I want to get back to when we were in Thailand together.”
“I can’t…”
He pulled me to him again and it was clear to me that Sam wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I liked to think that I could say it, but my voice and words failed me. There was only now and Sam’s arms around me.
When he pulled away the second time, my heart was going about a mile a minute and no matter how badly I knew this was a terrible idea, I moved with him towards the upstairs. I didn’t know what was up there, but I was sure that there was at least one room where we could be together for just a minute without everyone else around, watching us.
Sam pushed me into the first door to the hallway and it was a large bathroom with a shower.
“Do you want to take a shower while we get dirty?”
I was shocked by his words and the fact that he was locking the door behind him. “This really isn’t a good idea Sam.”
“If I don’t have you soon, I am going to lose my mind, Meri. I have waited for a long time for you to come around and you just aren’t. You have ruined me for anyone else. Why do you insist on pretending that you aren’t as head over heels as I am?”
Head over heels didn’t start to really explain how I felt. I loved him, but I was afraid of him more than I loved him. I was sure that something was going to happen, something terrible when he found out the truth. I wasn’t ready to tell Sam and this couldn’t happen, because then he would know. Then he would think that I was trying to do this. I don’t really know what I thought, but I knew that I wasn’t ready for this, even if my body was sure that I was.
“I care for you Sam, but there is no future with us. You know that I am not that experienced with all of this. I want what you can’t provide and every time we are together it reminds me of that. I know you want me Sam and I am flattered, really I am, but I want more.”
My hands shook as I moved my hair out of my eyes. It had taken everything for me to say that and I wished now that I hadn’t said a word of it out loud. It was what I wanted, more, but just saying it out loud was hard to hear. It sounded desperate and that was exactly how I was feeling. Sam made me feel desperate in every emotion that he gave me.
“What do you want from me?”
It was the typical answer to a question that didn’t have a right one. “I don’t want anything from you Sam. Just leave me be and let me just do my job.”
I moved to the door, dying inside but trying to hold it together long enough to get out of there without breaking down in front of him.
“I have let you be. Are you happy with how this is going?”
I turned back to him and I was going to say something, but I didn’t get a chance. He was next to me, kissing me gently as his hand moved my face upwards so that I could not get away. I didn’t want to, I really didn’t. I was filled with such confliction that only Sam and sex had brought into my life. Never had I been so unsure of what I was supposed to do next.
“You feel so good in my arms Meri. I have missed you so much. I think I am imagining things, but you feel different it has been so long.”
His hands were moving on my body and my breasts. He made a comment about how they felt bigger and
I held my breath, waiting for the other changes to be noticed as well. I had started to notice a couple of months ago, but now it was noticeable for him as well.
“Meri is there something you aren’t telling me?”
Sam had moved back and he had a look in his eyes that told me he finally got it. It was scary to think that he finally knew, but there was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I had worried so much about it and now I wasn’t sure how to feel. He had this look on his face that I couldn’t fathom and I wondered what was going through his mind.
“I didn’t plan to tell you anything Sam.”
“You weren’t?”
I shook my head and moved back towards the door. I wanted to get back downstairs because this privacy was not what I had expected or wanted for that matter.
“You are pregnant?”
I shook my head. There was no sense in lying. He was going to find out eventually or he was just going to think that I was getting fat. Either way I didn’t figure that I would be bothered by him too much over it.
“Yes I am.”
“And it’s mine?”
That got a reaction before I was able to temper it. I couldn’t believe that he had just said that to me, but in another way I guess I could. He was with women that were more experienced than I was. I felt like he should have known better though. I was a virgin when we were together the first time. That should have been a clue for him that I wasn’t the type of woman to have multiple men in my life.
“Yes it is yours Sam.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I have been with no one else.” I was letting him get to me, even though I shouldn’t have.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Did you really want to hear something like that?”
Sam wasn’t sure and I could tell he was working through his own feelings. “Yes, I do. I want to know that I have a child in this world. I don’t have any kids. I have never let that happen before, but with you it was different and so unexpected that I didn’t even think about it.”
“Well we should have been more careful. But it is too late to get rid of it, so don’t even ask.” I was close to tears just thinking about him saying it. I was sure that was why he didn’t have any kids now. That he had taken care of them all. Sam’s expression told me that it wasn’t the way it was.
“I would never suggest such a thing. That is my child you are carrying. I never have been much for family, Lord knows that I wasn’t expecting one, but I am happy. It’s about time I start thinking about my legacy and who I am going to leave this all to.”
He was talking about his lineage and not too much about the baby. I was happy that he wasn’t freaking out. I had a harder time coming to grips with it than he did it seemed and that made me feel a little better. Maybe I should have just come to him when I found out instead of avoiding him like the plaque lately.
“Well now you know Sam.”
“Is this why you have been avoiding me?”
I could have said yes. It was clear that he wanted to think that was the reason, but it was just one in a wave of many. I knew that while he may be happy to have an heir, it didn’t mean that he was going to give me the more that I wanted and dreamed about.
“It’s part of it. I won’t say that it is the only reason. That would be a lie.”
“What else?”
“I love you Sam and I shouldn’t. I think I have loved you since you saved me in Thailand. What am I supposed to do with that? You are a man of many talents and just as many women. I know that I can’t compete, so it was easier to just get out of the race. I figured you would have moved on by now. I am not sure that you haven’t.”
He sighed and leaned back against the marble sinks. “I haven’t moved on, but I won’t say that it is from a lack of trying. I want to get you out of my head, I really do, but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards. The more I try, there you are again. I don’t want to get over you and now I don’t have to. Now we are going to be together.”
“Why, because I am pregnant?”
“Yes.”
The answer was so simple, but it didn’t seem all that simple to me. What does all of that mean?
“We are going to be together because I am pregnant?”
“Yes, we will get married now. We would have before, just not so soon. I can’t have my son being born out of wedlock. I won’t let that happen.”
It was worse than I thought. “I don’t want to get married because we forgot to use a condom a couple of times Sam.”
He was getting frustrated and it made me feel a little better to know that I was not the only one that was feeling that way. Sam pushed off of the sink and moved back to me, pulling me closer to him and kissing me until I couldn’t think straight. “Don’t you get it Meri? I am in love with you. I have been for a while. I want to marry you and now you won’t tell me no. It was meant to be, can’t you see that?”
His words were what I wanted to hear, I wanted nothing more than to marry Sam. He was everything that I had ever wanted in a man. It was something that I never thought was possible, but now it was. I didn’t know how to feel about it, but I knew that I was getting everything that I wanted.
My body melded with Sam’s and I didn’t try to stop him when he set me on the edge of the marble and started to kiss me some more. I was in need for his touch, as well as his words and I started to shake. “God Sam, I have missed you so much.”
Chapter 19
Sam
“I don’t see what the big deal is Meri. Just tell me who you want to come and I will have the invitations sent out.”
Meri was quiet for a time, not like her at all. We were going over wedding arrangements, something that I was more involved with than her. She was almost four months along now and she was getting tired easier. Her last day at work was yesterday and I was happy to have her home with me where we could be together more.
“It’s not that easy Sam. Why don’t I give you a list later?”
“The wedding is in two weeks. We need to get these sent out.” I stopped and chuckled.
“What?”
“Why am I more worried about this than you are? Just give me a number and I will leave that many open.”
“Just five or so. No more than that.”
I stopped when she gave me her number. I had several hundred coming and I didn’t know what to say. It was times like this that I realized I didn’t know everything about my bride to be.
“Why so few? Don’t you want your family to come?”
“I don’t have much family. I thought I told you that before. No one that I invite is going to be related to me.”
This was the first I was hearing of it. “When did you tell me that?”
“When you asked. It was a while ago. You know that my parents are dead, right?”
Why didn’t I remember something like that? I remember Ashlyn mentioning that she didn’t have much family, but I hadn’t put the two together. I felt bad for even asking about it now. “Well don’t worry. We are family and I have a huge family that you will have to contend with. It will be a mess for the most part, it always is, but soon enough we will have another addition to ours.”
“I like the sound of that, but I am not having a brood, two is my limit.”
I wanted more and I knew that she would be a good mother. When I thought about her not having any parents, I wanted to know more. Did we have a conversation and I was just so love drunk that I don’t remember it?
“So when did your parents die?”
“When I was young. I don’t remember either one of them.”
“So who raised you?”
She giggled at me and asked me why I had all of these questions all of a sudden. I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted to know everything about her and even now I got that she was still so mysterious to me. It really was a shame.
“I was raised by the state and several foster families, places like that. I left when I was fifteen and came to t
he city. I never looked back.”
I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to kiss her. She smiled at me and asked what that was for.
“I am sorry I didn’t know that. I wouldn’t have asked you such stupid questions.”
“It’s fine, really. It was a long time ago and I don’t know what I am missing. I have great friends that are like family. Ashlyn has been a lifesaver more than once.”
“She says the same thing about you, though I never have got the full story on that.”
Meri paused for a moment and then smiled to herself. “She almost got involved with a pimp. I knew the man she was going to meet. It was a chance meeting that I met Ashlyn. She was naïve to city life and I saw something put in her drink. It was their way of getting her under their control. I got her out of there and she stayed with me for a few weeks until she got a job. Then she started to climb the ladders of the rich. I don’t know how she did it, but Ashlyn came from not much of anything like me. I feel like we were meant to meet and I am glad I was able to help her. I never would have imagined that she would come to my rescue in much the same way.”
I was taken aback by so much of it. For one that Meri would be wise to such a thing or to even imagine Ashlyn almost becoming a prostitute. I am still not sure what she does, but she knows a lot of powerful men. She made introductions for me that I never thought possible. Ashlyn ran on favors and it was hard to even think of her wasting her lobbying skills on something so dark. “I can’t imagine it.”
“Well this was long before she dressed all fancy. Ashlyn comes from a small town and she has some family, but she rarely sees them. I don’t know what she was doing here to begin with. I think the lights brought her here.”
“Is that what happened with you?”
She smiled and shrugged. I pulled her to me, kissing her neck. Every day I was with Meri, I swear I fell more in love with her.
“Something like that.”
“Well I am sure glad you came.”
Our lips met and she pushed me away after a moment. “Me too, but if you don’t give me some space, we are never going to get anywhere with these plans. I still don’t see why we need to do all of this.”