Finding Beautiful

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  “I know, baby. Here.”

  Suddenly, he’s inside me, slipping deep into my sex and gliding out easily with how wet I am for him. He groans when he’s seated fully inside, tilts my head back with a hand on the side of my face and dips his head as he takes my mouth hungrily, cradling my face with his hands as he pushes in and out, back and forward. He’s creating a steady rhythm, a heavenly rhythm that has me climbing higher and higher, my core tightening and my limbs grasping onto him in such need. His tongue slips into my mouth and he moans deep in his throat, his breath reverberating through my parted lips as he slips out and pushes into me once more. Feeling him so deep inside me, with his hot minty breaths along my collarbone—it’s intoxicating and teeth clenching good.

  “Oh God, Gavin!” I call out, my mouth parting and my body tightening cathartic ally as I find my release, a quick forceful orgasm that makes my toes curl and my stomach flip in such pleasure. It goes on, my eyes flicking up to Gavin’s as he rears up over me, his mouth forming an O as he comes, calling out my name over and over again until he collapses on top of me. He covers my upturned face with butterfly kisses, tenderly, and doesn’t let go.

  “Have I ever told you that you amaze me, Aria?” he whispers, pressing his head to my stomach as he hugs me tight and holds on. My hands tangle in his hair while my other arm wraps around his middle. I drag precious air into my lungs, tears piercing my eyes at his heartfelt words.

  “You have, baby,” I giggle, breathlessly.

  And then, with his arms wrapped around me and his mouth pressing to my belly, I’m sated.

  I hear his deep voice against my heated skin.

  “I love you, Aria. Please don’t ever forget that.”

  I cup his cheeks in my hands and smile his smile.

  “I won’t.”

  Twenty Four

  IT’S A SUNNY SATURDAY MORNING and Farah and I go in and out of shops on Central Avenue in downtown Chicago, searching for the bridesmaids dresses Kel described to us. Lavender with a cup neck, strapless and length coming to just under our knees with black heeled sandals to match. The more time goes by, the more my feet hurt from all this walking. Crap, I forgot just how much I hate shopping. I remember, when my mom used to take Kel and me; it was torture.

  “Seriously, are we done yet?” I whine, grinning when Farah gives me what can only be explained as the fuck-off look. From experience, I know that when she’s on a mission, which she is now, there’s no stopping her.

  “No, we have two more stores to go. Come on honey.”

  I begrudgingly follow her inside Neiman Marcus, promising myself a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Rocky Road ice cream after this.

  After searching high and low, I hear Farah squeal in delight and hold up yet another sleeveless dress, this one with a black embroidered sash at the waist that ties in the back and I sigh in relief, knowing just how perfect it is. Kel will love it.

  “That’s the one, Farah. I’d bet my life on it,” I say, going around the sales rack to find my size. There it is, size five. Thank God.

  “Kel is going to absolutely love these. Wait, you’re a five? Holy crap, Ari!”

  I look up at her and shrug, not really seeing the big deal about being a five.

  I set my stuff down in the over-sized dressing room and take the fabric off the hanger. I see Farah grin over at me like a fool. What is going on with her?

  “What’s so funny? I have a small frame, isn’t that a good thing?”

  Farah shrugs, hoisting her sundress up and slipping it over her head. She’s maybe three sizes bigger than me, slim but not skinny with a slightly wider frame than mine. But she’s gorgeous and I’ve always been envious of her curves.

  “Yeah, but I guess I didn’t realize how small you were. No wonder Gavin was all smiles today, you’re gorgeous!” I know she’s joking, but I hear the insecurity in her amused voice. I undress and unzip the lavender dress before sliding it over my head and shoulders.

  “Don’t be like that, you’re beautiful Farah. You know I’ve always been jealous of those curves of yours. Jaden loves them, doesn’t he?”

  She nods, straightening out her own dress and turning towards the mirror as she tightens the sash behind her back. Her hips fill up the dress perfectly and her long as sin legs are a dead knock out in the heels we found this morning. They’re thin, maybe three inches tall and expose her freshly pedicured toe nails.

  “He does, but you know how I am. Maybe he’s just saying that because our relationship is so new, does he really want a curvy girlfriend with a less than perfect body for the long hall? I don’t know.” She bites her thumb and looks away from me. I hate to think she doesn’t love herself like I always thought she did. The spunky attitude is part of her charm, her personality and emanates confidence while she looks so put together as she does. I don’t say anything as I go to her, standing beside her and see my reflection in the mirror next to hers. I don’t see much difference between us, physically at least.

  “You’re gorgeous, honey. He’d be a fool to not see that, right?”

  Farah runs her hand through her hair and nods, but I still feel her judging her body in the mirror. I clasp my best friend’s shoulders and turn her to face me.

  “There is nothing wrong with you, Fay. Jaden sees that. I see that. But if you don’t see that, there will always be those doubts in your head. You have to believe in yourself, first.”

  I see the moisture in her eyes and it tears at my heart.

  “I’ll try to see that, Ari,” she finally says, softly. I hear the vulnerability in her voice.

  I pull her into a hug, probably wrinkling the designer wear we’re sporting and not caring if we do. She’s my best friend and I’d hate to think she’s insecure wearing these dresses on Saturday.

  “Same here, sweetie. You look awesome, do you like the dress?”

  She nods, stepping back and clapping her hands as I turn in my heels.

  “You so should have been a model, Ari. You have the body for it!”

  I scoff, remembering how mad my mother was when I decided not to follow in her footsteps. The thought makes me laugh out loud.

  “What?” Farah asks as she undresses again and tosses me my sweater and white capris.

  “You remember how mad my mom was when I went into dancing?”

  My mom is a beautiful and talented model and when I was growing up, I always looked up to her. But once I started dancing, I knew that was what I’m meant to do. When I’d told her, it was the day of my high school prom. She went ballistic, said I could never make a career out of professional dancing. Now all that’s in the past and I can’t help but laugh at it all. Farah laughs along with me, slipping her flats back on her feet as I sit to put on my thick heeled boots once more. I’m still laughing when we open the dressing room door and bring the dresses with us.

  “See, now that was hilarious, she was crazy-mad!” Farah exclaims in her dramatic fashion.

  We giggle like school girls and then my phone rings, it’s Gavin. I send Farah a smirk and she takes my dress, heading to the register.

  “Hey, Handsome.”

  “Where are you, baby? This bed is too cold without you,” he whispers, his voice teasing. My heart leaps. Even though it’s only been a matter of hours, I miss him.

  “We’re still in the plaza; I’ll be home soon though. Just paying for these ridiculously expensive bridesmaids dresses. How was your morning?”

  “Hectic, as always. You know you won’t have to worry about checking prices anymore. I like spoiling you, Beautiful.”

  I get butterflies, biting down on my lip to hide my smile as Farah meets me by the Neiman Marcus entrance to Central Avenue.

  “I know, but I’m not used to spending this kind of money, it’s just different for me.”

  He’s silent for a moment and I start to think I’ve lost him. Did I say something wrong?

  “Does it bother you? My lifestyle? You can be honest.”

  Does it bother me? I mean, my mot
her always had money so it’s not new to me but still, I like earning my way. I decide to go with my heart, knowing that Gavin likes to spoil me because he loves and cares for me, not for any other misguided reason.

  “No, it’s just different for me, Gavin. I’d tell you if it truly bothered me.”

  He exhales, obviously calmer now.

  “That’s good to hear, baby. When will you be home?”

  “Soon. Just have to drop these off at Kel’s apartment and drive Farah back to North-end, then I’ll be home.”

  “You have Aaron with you, right? He’s following you.”

  I look behind where my KIA is parked to see Aaron from his security team looking straight ahead. I’m a little impressed by the Audi A3 he’s driving.

  “Yes, he’s here. We’ll be safe.”

  “See you soon, Beautiful”

  His voice is low and full of promise, making me want him again. How does he do that?

  “Bye, babe.”

  * * *

  Once Farah is in her place, waving happily over her shoulder, I pull out and head towards East End again. I’m eagerly looking forward to seeing my man after a long day of shopping, shopping and more shopping. The butterflies start again as I think about how amazing the last few weeks have been. Gavin has either taken me out to eat or made something for me every night since our wedding-planning session with Kel. He’s been so good to me, it sometimes feels too good to be true.

  When I’m stopped at a red light, I spot a gray Lincoln Aviator behind me. It’s directly behind me, as if it’s tailing me. The windows are tinted and an unfamiliar sense of dread seeps through my veins as it follows me down I-22 all the way until the next light and I turn right, watching the rear view mirror as it goes out of my sight. I know Aaron is in the next lane and nothing will happen to me, but God, was I just being followed?

  I keep a steady speed towards the penthouse, but by the time I arrive in the parking lot towards the back of the building, my hands are shaking.

  I force myself out of the car, grab my bag, cell phone, and keys.

  Maybe I’m just imagining it. Was the Lincoln really that close to me? I’m not sure.

  I take a breath, holding it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out. I’m still trying to shake off the uneasiness seeping through my veins when I make my way into the apartment and see Gavin standing in front of the stove in the kitchen, a white button down shirt hugging his torso and upper arms, a pair of dark jeans hanging deliciously loose from his hips and he’s barefoot. Oh, my.

  I slip my jacket off my shoulders, putting it on one of the kitchen stools. It smells of garlic bread and lasagna, and my mouth waters.

  “Smells good, baby.”

  Gavin turns and smiles wide, making my knees weaken as he pulls me into his arms and kisses my temple. I grasp his wrists, needing him close for a little longer. Oh, he feels so good.

  “Thought we could have a dinner on the balcony tonight, what do you think?”

  I press my face to his neck and graze my hands up his back, reveling in the feel of him. The feelings of dread I had only five minutes ago slowly evaporates, replaced with the butterflies I always get when I’m this close to him.

  “I’d love to. How was your day?”

  He stirs the linguine with the hand that isn’t wrapped around me and his eyes flick down to mine, clear and so beautifully blue.

  “Busy, I might have to take a trip to Los Angeles for a few meetings.”

  I lean back in surprise. Only now does it occur to me that he must travel with the work that he does. How would I feel about being away from him? I would hate it. I’d miss him like crazy.

  “Hey, don’t worry. It’s not for a few weeks and if I can get out of it, I will,” Gavin says as he takes the pot off the burner and lays the spoon beside the cooling plate. He turns into me, running a hand along my cheek and I feel the skin tingle underneath his touch.

  “Is that lasagna I smell?”

  That smile I love spreads across his face and he nods as he cups my cheeks and gazes down at me, such care in his blue-gray eyes.

  “Yes, and garlic bread. I’ll save dessert for later.” His voice is full of unspoken promises, and I smile, loving the feel of his arms wrapped tight around me again.

  I press my face to his neck and inhale.

  “Smells good.”

  I hear Gavin’s chuckle before he takes my face in his hands and looks at me with a devilish grin.

  “The food?”

  I press a kiss to his jaw and shake my head.

  “Oh, no. You.”

  His eyes heat and he cups my chin, lifting my mouth to his until his lips brush against mine ever so lightly.

  “You are addicting, Beautiful.”

  I smile against his urgent mouth, wrapping my arms around his neck and sinking my fingers into his silky smooth hair. His hot breath surrounds my face and it’s intoxicating.

  “Am I?” I tease.

  Gavin takes my mouth, parting my lips easily with his tongue and adores my mouth with suggestive licks, his breath mingling with mine, stealing the air from my lungs as he kisses me with such ardent passion.

  In seconds, I’m breathless. When he takes my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking voraciously, I moan low in my throat in response.

  “Hmm, do you want to take a shower?” he whispers, pulling back from my lips and tucking a stray strand of my curly hair behind my ear.

  “If you insist,” I whisper and then Gavin is scooping me into his arms and carrying me to the bathroom without another word.

  * * *

  Gavin slides his hands down my back in a massaging motion as I sit on his lap. We’re at Lucas’ apartment having dinner. Kel and I are enthralled in a game of cards while the boys talk about the football game they are watching. Gavin is pulling for the Colts while Lucas is an adamant Patriots fan.

  “Aria. Earth to Aria Georgia… ” Kel is snapping her fingers in a waving motion in front of me and I must have spaced out because she’s trying to get my attention.

  “What?” I tilt my face up to see her grinning.

  “You’re daydreaming again! It’s your turn.” She gives me a wink and I feel Gavin stiffen behind me at the idea that I’m daydreaming. About his hands skating along my skin; my back, my thighs, my shoulders. Oh, how I want them south. To where I’m aching for him so much.

  “And who are you daydreaming about, baby?” I turn my face into the hollow just above Gavin’s ear.

  “You. I want you, now.” My voice sounds close to a growl of desire as I whisper in his ear. Immediately he’s hard and I giggle in anticipation.

  “I’m sorry, Luke, but I think I’ve been neglecting my sweet girl, here. We’ll see you at the church.”

  Gavin stands with me against his chest and nods toward Lucas and Kel who are both smiling. They know exactly why we’re leaving and with that realization, my cheeks heat.

  “Have fun.” My sister practically sings and I can’t help but laugh as she hugs me and whispers in my ear.

  “It’s good to see you so happy, Ari. See you soon.”

  Gavin takes my hand and tugs me out into the cool Chicago night air and immediately pushes me against the hood of his car. He dips his head and begins to run kisses down my throat and neck.

  “Oh, please take me home Gavin,” I beg and pull his head back with my hands so I can see the depths of his brilliant blue gray eyes.

  “Home,” he drawls, skating fingers down my face to grasp my chin. Those eyes of his fill with tenderness and it melts me into a puddle before him. I nod and smile shyly.

  “Take me home.”

  It feels like it takes hours to get back to the penthouse and then also for the short ride up the elevator. Gavin keeps his arm around my waist the entire way and as soon as I close the front door behind us I crash my body into his and kiss him. Deep. Hard. Hungry. I feel wetness flood my core and Gavin’s desire for me press against my lower stomach.

  “Beautiful.” He groans
against my mouth, grasps the hem of my skirt and pushes the silky fabric off my hips and legs. The next to go is his t-shirt, the buckle of his loose fitting jeans and finally my blouse. It takes a matter of seconds for my bra and pink laced panties to join our clothes on the hardwood floor.

  When I’m standing naked before him, Gavin’s eyes take me in as if he’s never seen my body before. He doesn’t move to touch me, he just looks at me with hungry eyes.

  “You are so sweet, Aria. I love that you’re mine.” Gavin pierces me with the intensity in his eyes and his words reverberate through my skin like sunlight.

  I clutch onto his shoulders as he carries me into our bedroom and straight to the bed.

  “Need you.” I tangle my fingers through his hair and feel in my soul that Gavin is the only one I’ll ever need.

  As if he knows the depth of my need for him, he brings his mouth down to mine and whispers against my lips.

  “I’m yours, Aria. But we only have an hour.” Despite his reminder, I push my body into his. I moan cathartic ally when I feel his hardness against the very core of me. I can’t think through the haze of pleasure that I find myself in. All I can do is lose myself in the sensation. I wrap my legs tightly around his hips and with one fluid thrust, Gavin buries himself within my aching center. He rubs my aching clit over and over and I feel my core flood in response.

  “Oh God.” I spasm around him and join him each time he thrusts inside me. Gavin dips his tongue to my breasts and begins to drive me crazy with that glorious mouth of his. He licks and nips one areola before bringing the nipple into his mouth. I’m climbing higher and higher and my body is on fire from his touch, his mouth, his body pressing onto mine. Gavin slides out and thrusts one more time so deep inside me that I’m sure I can’t hold the pleasure inside any more.

  “Gavin… Oh, God—” I beg, clenching my muscles around him each time he joins me and I can feel the waves of pleasure hit a crescendo.

  “I’m right here, baby. Let go for me.”

  He nips my collarbone, soothes the skin with his tongue and mouth and I cannot hold off any longer. I bite my lip and cry out his name as I shatter beneath him. Gavin whispers my name roughly and finds his own sweet, sweet release within my flooded center. I feel his weight press against every line of my body and he frames my face, peppering my cheeks and nose with light kisses and then rolls so that I’m on top of him.