She was right. It’s not like I could have gone totally out into left field and dated anyone outside the roster of eligible athletes. That would have tanked whatever social credibility I still clung to. At least the party last night had helped boost my stock back to normal levels.
“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” said Staci. “Make sure he gets you the biggest bouquet, and everyone will forget about the sloppy kissing.”
“Ugh, I wish I could forget.”
Staci raised her hand, and I scooted away on the bed out of range.
“Okay, I guess there’s a lot I can teach him.” I made a face.
Staci smiled and stood to start packing her things. But my head buzzed with the knowledge I had a lot more work in front of me than I’d first imagined. Did I want to spend my remaining high school days training some poor guy how to hold open doors for his girlfriend?
There was no way we would be together when I went off to college—if I even got in. I still hadn’t heard back from where I was waitlisted and I got more nervous every day. Getting Ryan prepared to be an amazing boyfriend for the next girl in his life would certainly be a distraction from all that. But it was a little depressing to think that was all I was going to have in terms of high school romance in the next few months.
I flopped back onto my bed, covering my face with my hands so Staci wouldn’t see a few tears trickle down my cheek.
The real question was, what other choice did I have?
Chapter Thirteen
Staci and I plotted a few ways to get Ryan trained up to proper boyfriend standards, and she left with things feeling mostly resolved. Now I had to get through shopping with Jeremiah. My stomach was a little fluttery as I approached the big red circles, and I shivered in my winter boots and coat. The January afternoon was sunny but still bitter cold. I hadn’t even tried to look cute in an effort to wean myself off Jeremiah. In order to prove to myself—and Staci—that we were friends and I was no longer interested, I wore old leggings and a gigantic sweater underneath my coat. My hair was up in a loose ponytail, and beyond the copious amounts of moisturizer required in winter, only a simple swipe of mascara adorned my face. I felt super bare, but reminded myself I didn’t care what he thought of me.
However, when I saw him waiting for me just inside the entrance, two steaming to-go cups in his hands, I almost turned around to go home and change. He looked incredible. But also sleepy, with bags under his eyes. Remembering what Shannon and Penny had told me about his eagerness at getting some alone time with Linzie, I squared my shoulders and steadied my resolve. Baggy sweater had been the right choice.
“Thanks,” I said, as I took the cup he offered. I inhaled deeply. My favorite in winter—peppermint mocha.
“Great party last night,” said Jeremiah, taking a sip from his.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Rumor has it you had a good time,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. Like a friend would.
He shrugged, avoiding my eyes.
“And you? Not too much cleanup?”
I ignored the twinge in my heart at the memory of my last party in December. He’d never stayed the night, not in all the weekends my parents had been away in the fall. It was a choice I’d held firm on but I wondered if it had been the right one. I remembered Linzie mocking me the night of that party, “Why don’t you want him to stay? Don’t you like him?” Of course I did. Too much.
But he’d shown up bright and early the next day to help Linzie and me clean up. I wondered now if that was the beginning of the end. Maybe that had been the day he’d noticed Linzie instead of me, the girl who’d made him go home.
“It wasn’t too bad,” I told him, glancing down at my hands. “Shannon, Staci, and Penny all stayed over. I made pancakes this morning.”
He smiled. “You make good pancakes,” he said. “Maybe one of the presidents can make that?”
I inhaled slowly. We’d finally made our way to the reason for our visit. We were there to work on school stuff, together, as friends.
I smiled but nothing too big and flirty. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Though after last night, that was probably impossible. Linzie had her hooks in him good and tight.
“Where should we start?” I asked.
He looked around the store and bit his lip. “You should probably lead the way,” he said, his eyes wide.
I rolled my eyes and snorted. I grabbed his arm and dragged him in.
“Boys,” I muttered to myself, but I caught him trying to hide a smile. “Going shopping won’t kill you, you know.”
The next hour we walked the alleys back and forth, loading a cart up with food and other random bits that we thought would add to the fun. While I was pretty sure that Theodore Roosevelt hadn’t worn a red lace tank top, combined with a blue hat and white shorts, it looked appropriately patriotic to be passable.
For Jeremiah, it was pretty easy. A simple blazer would work for most of the presidents, with a variety of hats to differentiate. He was much more involved in the food selection. Despite his earlier proclamations at their deliciousness, he declared my pancakes to be no match for his cheese dip. He started to smack talk like I’d only ever heard him do with the opposing teams during games.
“You’re going down, Parsons,” he said, putting up two fingers and pointing first to his eyes, then to mine.
I giggled as he added yet another block of cheese to the already overflowing cart. “How big of a cheese block does one presidential dip need? I think someone is compensating for something…”
He let a hand fly to his heart, as if I’d wounded him. “It’s not about the size of the cheese, it’s about what you do with it.”
He grinned, and a traitorous flutter made its way through my stomach. Maybe I was just hungry, I told myself.
Outwardly, I scoffed and tossed my head back.
“The things I can do with pasta will have your troops surrendering by morning,” I said, popping on the long top hat we’d found in the clearance bin. It was close enough to something Abe Lincoln would have worn that we’d thrown it in, along with a watch on a long gold chain, and a mop that Jeremiah had convinced me would make a great wig for an eighteenth-century president. I thought he looked more like a drowned poodle, and told him as much, which earned me another dramatic hand on his wounded heart.
By the time we reached the checkout lane, we were both laughing so much, I thought it safer to head to the self-checkout and save the poor cashier from dealing with our crazy.
When we both reached into the cart to start swiping things across the scanner, his hand brushed against mine. I pulled back, as if I’d gotten a shock. My teasing grab of his arm before had been through layers of gloves and coat. Now, coats piled into the cart, my bulky sweater ditched in order to try on costumes, our arms were now exposed. His warm skin on mine was like an electric current directly to my heart.
Not even full-on making out with Ryan had done anything like that to me recently.
The laugh disappeared from my lips. I looked down and he cleared his throat.
“I can scan, you can bag,” he said.
I nodded, and hurried to the other side without meeting his eyes.
The silence that settled on us as we finished up was troubling. We’d been having fun, like friends, right? My head had gotten the message and was playing along, but my body seemed to have a mind of its own.
Maybe he hadn’t noticed the electricity, and I was just being too sensitive. He was with Linzie, after all, so he probably hadn’t felt anything. And I shouldn’t have, if for no other reason than for fear of another Staci slap.
When I finally peeked up at him, he looked totally normal, and I let out a relieved breath. I would just have to get myself under control.
On impulse, I grabbed a bag of peanut butter M&Ms from the display on the aisle and threw it on the belt behind all of our stuff.
“I’ll scan that separate, they’re Ryan’s favorite,” I said.
Jeremiah stared a
t it, an eyebrow raised. I had no idea if they were Ryan’s favorite or not. They were definitely mine, and I would perform a little chocolate therapy without Staci when I got home to remind myself of why I was just friends with Jeremiah. One bad thing for every handful of M&Ms. Or maybe one good thing about Ryan for every morsel of chocolate-covered peanut butter goodness.
Jeremiah’s lips twitched, and he grabbed a pack of Reese’s peanut butter cups. “No worries. That’s a good idea. I’ll just get Linzie’s favorite too.”
We gave each other very small, polite smiles. He finished scanning everything, and I expertly arranged our purchases in bags by theme—no mixing of food and clothes. He pocketed the peanut butter cups and grabbed all the bags, waving away my attempts to help. As he walked out and put them in my car without a word, my heart hammered. This felt like so many other Sundays together. But the smile he gave me was tight and short, and I deflated with a deep breath.
I was halfway home before I remembered Linzie was allergic to peanuts.
Chapter Fourteen
Whatever people thought about the kissing they’d witnessed Saturday night, and whatever had or hadn’t happened at Target on Sunday with Jeremiah, Monday morning proved to everyone that Ryan and I were officially a couple.
He sauntered up to me before first period, leaning against the lockers next to mine and smiling as he watched me load up my bag for my morning classes. When the bell rang, he escorted me to class, an arm flung over my shoulder.
It would have been adorable if I hadn’t sent him a text that morning to ask him to do it.
And if he’d remembered to carry my bag.
Instead of constantly barraging Ryan with instructions via text message, I made an effort in between classes to seek him out. He was always surrounded by other guys on the basketball team, but he did look happy to see me. He’d wrap his arm around my shoulder and put his head on top of mine. I was so much shorter than him, he could almost rest his elbow comfortably on my head. Which, if he’d tried, he would have gotten one of my patented Sammi stare downs.
He seemed happy enough to just parade around school with me, absorbed in conversation with the guys. Sometimes his cousin, Andie, would be there, talking to Lane, since they were both on the paper. Jeremiah was never part of the group, of course, off somewhere with Linzie for their usual making out.
I considered doing the same with Ryan but didn’t feel like redoing all of my makeup eight times a day. I tried not to think about the next time I’d have to kiss him—really kiss him. I gave him little pecks when he walked me to class, but that was as far as I’d go at school.
I, unlike some on the cheerleading squad, had a sense of decency and public decorum. A note to that effect slipped to Veronica between classes on Tuesday made sure that was the message the school would be repeating.
I regretted that decision, however, when the basketball team lost again on Wednesday. I did my best to cheer Ryan up, but all he wanted to do was go over every single detail of how he could have done better. A good lip lock would have shut him right up, but one look at his moist lips flapping when he spoke was enough to turn me off kissing completely.
As my first week of officially dating Ryan wound to a close, I noticed Jeremiah talking to me less and less in history class and during our study sessions. We needed to figure out the rest of our project, but all the easiness of our shopping trip seemed to have vanished. The ghosts of Ryan and Linzie were at the table with us, reminding me of all the reasons we needed to toe the line and remain firmly on the friends side.
Maybe it was too blurred to begin with. Barely any time had passed since we’d broken up, and while I did think we could be friends, maybe it was just too soon. Sunday afternoon had felt so easy; I wondered yet again why he’d even dumped me in the first place.
What did Linzie have that I didn’t? What had I done wrong when it felt so right to be together?
Finally, Friday morning, I couldn’t take it any more and spoke up.
“I think we should start filming this weekend,” I said, and he looked up in surprise.
He’d kept his head down all week, only answering my direct questions about things on the history syllabus, never initiating anything more.
“Yeah, I guess we could,” he said. “I mean, it’s better to do it sooner rather than later so that I can focus on basketball.”
Oh, I’m such an idiot. Of course he was moody this week. They’d lost, and now with only a handful of games until the playoffs, the pressure was on.
The gloom that had been hanging over me all week lifted.
“You’ve been playing really well,” I said, smiling from across the table.
He’d been sitting as far away as possible all week, reminding me of my frosty start to this joint project. He’d been the one to suggest being friends, but I knew how he got when he was worried about basketball. I didn’t really mind his moodiness now.
Jeremiah shrugged in response to my compliment. “It’s just…I really need to prove to Murray State that I’ll be ready to play for them.”
He ran a hand through his hair, now a tousled jumble of waves above his downcast amber eyes. “But my mom doesn’t even want me to go. She’d rather I go to Boulder where my brother went. I just don’t know what to do.” He sighed heavily and leaned back in his seat.
I shifted over a few chairs so I could be closer. I ignored the impulse to put a hand on his arm, and just angled my body toward him instead.
“Well you can’t always listen to what your parents want. It’s your life.”
He let out a short, angry chuckle. “Easy for you to say. Your brother and sister are so much older, it’s not like you have to compare yourself to them all the time.”
I nodded. “True, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re the one who has to go to college for four years, not your parents. And if Murray State is offering a scholarship, it’s not like the money should be an issue for them, right?”
He worried his lower lip with his teeth. I sucked in a breath, trying not to picture the last time his lips had been on mine, so much more expertly than Ryan would probably ever be.
No, this is not the time for that.
We were friends, and he needed my help.
“I just wish they’d go a little easier on me,” he said, putting his head in his hands. “Between school and basketball and…everything else, I just feel totally overwhelmed.”
At this, I couldn’t hold back anymore and reached out a hand to put on his shoulder. He seemed to relax at my touch, some of the tension leaving his neck.
“Well, then, let’s finish up this project so that you’ll have one less thing to worry about, okay?”
He looked up at me, his eyes glowing a deep gold. I let myself get lost in them for just a moment before turning away, my heart a thudding tangle in my chest.
“Thanks, Sam,” he said. “It’s so great to have someone to talk to about all this.”
My eyes widened. So he didn’t talk about his problems to Linzie?
“Let’s do it at my house,” I said, plastering on a smile and ignoring the continued twisting of all my internal organs at the grateful look on his face. “Since I already have everything there. Come by Sunday. It should only take a few hours.”
He started to smile, then bit his lip again. “Won’t Ryan mind if I’m there all afternoon?”
I flushed. I honestly didn’t care what Ryan thought, though I knew I should. I cared more about what Staci would think.
I shook my head. “It’ll be fine.”
He smiled, the first one I’d seen in days. I was pleased at being able to help a friend, but I just wished it hadn’t made my stomach do a double backflip.
Chapter Fifteen
Jeremiah’s parting smile had haunted my thoughts all of Saturday. Especially when I overheard Linzie telling Penny during cheerleading practice that she had to go away to her cousin’s wedding that weekend. I hadn’t asked Jeremiah what she’d think of us spending the after
noon together, and knowing that she might not even be aware of it was doing little to calm my nerves around our second extended activity in as many weeks.
I hadn’t even been this nervous when we’d actually been dating.
This isn’t a date, I reminded myself. We’re doing a project together.
In order to make sure things stayed platonic between us, I decided we needed an audience for our presidential cooking show. A chaperone would be essential to keeping things friendly and my emotions under control. Besides, someone needed to run the camera for us.
Staci said she wanted no part in ‘the charade of your friendship’ as she’d called it, and refused to help. Despite my good behavior with Ryan all week, she was still unconvinced. And given how my heart fluttered at the thought of Jeremiah’s smile, she was probably right. Penny and Shannon might say something to Linzie if I set even one toe out of line.
It was time to call in that favor from Charlie Royce.
“Are you sure I’m the right person to be doing this?” she said, aiming my phone at the kitchen island where I’d set everything up.
“This isn’t the Great British Bake Off,” I said. “Just make sure you get my good side.”
“You mean every side?” she said with a frown.
I flashed her my prettiest smile and winked at the camera.
Jackson would be there soon to pick her up for an afternoon doing whatever basketball couples did in their free time—playing basketball, I assumed—so I wanted to get this done quickly before she got too distracted.
“All right, let’s do this,” I called to Jeremiah who had gone to change into his first costume.
I held back a sigh when he walked out in his top hat and suit. Even dressed up all silly he was gorgeous. My own costume was much less historical, but very patriotic with its colors. The top was a little lower than I had realized, and I tried to discreetly to tug it up a bit. I turned around to see Charlie raising an eyebrow at me, but I ignored her.
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