We had laid out a few key ingredients that had been taxed excessively or rationed during different periods of time, and the challenge would be to make a dish without using those ingredients, all the while talking about how the political climate of the period made daily life more difficult.
I’d been working on the scripts all week while Jeremiah had been brooding over the basketball loss, and I’d sent them over the night before to get his feedback. He’d called them ‘amazing,’ and seeing him grin now was yet another reminder that a chaperone had been an excellent idea.
“Ready to roll?” asked Charlie, holding up the phone.
We gave her the thumbs-up.
“Action!”
“Welp, here we have yer good fixins for a meal…” Jeremiah launched into a ridiculous Southern accent, and I had to put a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
Charlie wasn’t able to contain herself, however, and the phone shook in her hand.
“Cut!” I yelled, waving my arms and giving her a glare. “Charlie, if you can’t behave, I’m telling Jackson to stay away.”
“Aw, come on, Sammi.” She pouted.
“The longer this takes, the longer it’ll be until you see him,” I said, wagging a finger in her direction.
She bit her lip to stifle another giggle and readjusted her hold on the phone. “Fine, but Jeremiah’s gotta tone it down a little. I’m going to crack a rib if I try to hold it in.”
It took another hour to get even fifteen minutes of decent footage, with all the breaks for laughing. Jeremiah was pure comedic gold, and my competitive spirit flared, so I tried even more ridiculous food combinations that made both him and Charlie shriek in terror when they had to sample them.
It was a great afternoon. I couldn’t even say that it reminded me of hanging out with him when we were together, since we’d never done such silly things like this. Before we’d been so intense almost immediately, talking about everything—well, almost everything. We’d skipped over the fun, flirty things and gone straight to staring into each other’s souls.
This was…nice. Really nice. Like we really were friends. Hope surged in my chest. Maybe this could work. I could have him in my life as a friend, even if I couldn’t be with him.
Sooner than I’d have liked, Jackson showed up to whisk Charlie away, and we were left without a cameraperson (or chaperone). The ease of just moments before vanished, and we smiled nervously at each other from across the island. I fussed with the dishes, piling them all into the sink with a loud clatter. With just the two of us, I couldn’t think of anything to say. It didn’t help that my top had slipped down lower again, and when I turned back from the sink, I caught his eyes tracking downward. Jeremiah flushed.
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then snapped it shut as his phone rang. He looked down at it and frowned but didn’t pick up. He didn’t have to tell me who it was. The ringtone was Linzie’s favorite Taylor Swift song.
“I have to go,” he said, sounding sadder than I’d ever heard.
My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t want him to leave. We’d had so much fun today, and it felt like with just a little bit longer, we could break through the awkwardness.
Break through to what, exactly? Being friends? Forgetting we’d ever shared any kind of emotional connection? That he hadn’t just a month ago been the most important person in my life?
“I don’t—” I stopped myself and pressed my lips together.
His eyes were wide and pleading. I ached to reach across the island and touch him. How could he still look at me like that with everything that had happened?
“I don’t want to keep you,” I said finally, putting my hands firmly behind my back.
He dropped his eyes and nodded.
“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” he said and grabbed his coat from where he’d left it at the kitchen table. He turned and made his way to the door. “I can’t meet during break; Coach has us in strategy meetings all week.”
I ignored the disappointment that shot through me. I’d been looking forward to our study sessions more than I wanted to admit. But now that the biggest part of the project was done, we didn’t have much left to do. And the playoffs were coming up, so…
“Go, Mountaineers,” I said lamely, reaching a hand high in the air and shaking it like I had a pom-pom.
He gave me a halfhearted smile and turned. I didn’t walk him out, afraid of what I might do if I followed him to the door. I wanted to grab hold and never let go.
But he’d already left me.
“Was that Jeremiah’s car?” my mom asked, coming in as I was cleaning everything up. We’d made some pretty inedible things, and it killed me a little to throw it all out, but there was no way I was eating eggs mixed with apple cider.
“Yeah we’re working on a project together for history,” I said. I bit my lip. I knew I had to tell her that we’d broken up, but then she’d ask when and she’d feel bad that it was right after Dad had left. She’d been looking so happy lately. I didn’t want to ruin that.
“I haven’t seen him around in awhile. You should invite him for dinner this weekend.”
I groaned. Guess I can’t avoid it any longer.
“We’re not together anymore,” I said, occupying my hands by putting everything into the dishwasher. “I’m going out with Ryan Nelson now.”
“Oh,” she said.
I peeked over my shoulder and she was frowning with and furrowed brows.
“When did that happen?” she asked.
“Recently.” I hoped that would be enough for her. I really didn’t want to talk about boys with her. As weird as it might sound, my dad was actually the one who I’d talked to more about that kind of stuff. He was like an inside guide to the mysteries of the male species. But I was still refusing to return his messages or emails.
“Well, invite this Ryan boy then,” she said. “I’d like to meet him.”
“Meeting you would be a pretty big step,” I said. “I’m not sure he’s ready for that.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘ready’? If he can’t meet me, then why are you going out with him?”
My stomach sank. She was so particular about guys; it was the reason I hadn’t really dated much. As soon as I mentioned I was seeing someone—not even serious about them, just that we had gone out—the inquisition started.
Jeremiah had always been up for it, though. He’d gotten on so well with my parents, even better than me sometimes, it seemed. There was no way Ryan would ever compare, and that wasn’t just my wistful memories talking. It was the hard truth.
I needed Ryan to stay with me for there to be any chance of me getting over Jeremiah. He was actually kind of a fun distraction, my little boyfriend-in-training project.
Which meant he had to learn how to meet parents.
“Okay, fine,” I said. “I’ll tell him to come by next week.”
She smiled and walked out. I threw away the rest of the disastrous food I’d made with Jeremiah, hoping the dinner would be more of a success than our cooking show had been.
Chapter Sixteen
With the final games to decide the playoffs in less than a week, the basketball coach had all the guys doing tons of extra practice. I heard Linzie complaining about getting less time with Jeremiah after our own practice one day. Staci nudged me, and I lamented that it sucked not to see Ryan as much.
I tried hard to make myself believe that, but honestly, it was a relief.
I just didn’t know what to talk to him about. He was so into basketball, and I just…wasn’t. He didn’t seem interested in hearing about my classes, or any of the day-to-day drama that happened in the cheerleading squad (like how I’d put Christina up front in our latest routine and the others were getting on my case about it). So usually when we had some time alone together before school or practice, I’d finally caved and decided to just make out, which he seemed pretty happy about.
At least his kissin
g was getting better. Sort of.
When I mentioned dinner with my mom, however, he looked a little panicked.
“I don’t know, Sammi,” he said, scratching his head.
We were sitting in his car in the parking lot. I may have given in to increasing his kissing practice, but I still refused to make out in the hallway like Linzie did.
“That’s kind of a big deal, meeting your parents and everything.”
“It’s just my mom,” I said. With a jolt, I realized he didn’t know about my parents splitting up. For all he knew, I’d never had a dad. A pit formed in my stomach at the thought of explaining it. “My dad’s out of town.” I bit my lip. It wasn’t a total lie.
Ryan’s shoulders relaxed.
“Just your mom doesn’t seem too bad,” he said. He reached down and squeezed my hand. A normal amount of pressure; he was learning. “I guess I can handle that.”
My heart gave a tiny flutter at his cautious enthusiasm and his apparent fear of my dad. Though he had no reason to worry about my dad, even if he had still been in the picture. My mom was much worse when meeting guys. I still remembered my boyfriend freshman year nearly crying when she’d grilled him on his career choices (he was a sophomore so, maybe biology?) and knowledge of important female contributors to the field (uh, Marie Curie?). I hoped that maybe my mom had chilled out a bit, given everything else that was going on in her life.
Or maybe she’d be ten times worse.
“Be sure to dress nice,” I said. “And bring flowers or something.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at that, but I didn’t feel like any more Boyfriend 101 lessons for the moment. I was sure he knew what ‘dress nice’ meant. They wore khakis and polo shirts on game days, so I knew he had more than sweats in his closet. With a quick kiss on the cheek, I got out of the car.
“Call me tonight after practice?” I said.
He nodded, still looking confused.
He never did call me when I told him to. Which I didn’t actually mind, but I knew I had to remind him anyway.
With a sigh, I headed into school, eager to discuss the Christina situation with Staci before first period. And have a mini vent about Ryan, if she was up for it. One day, he would be the perfect boyfriend to some lucky girl.
But I was not that girl.
Surprisingly, the boys won their game the next night. All of the extra practice and strategy must have been worth it; everything seemed to be working in harmony. They passed and dribbled effortlessly, their layups went right into the net, and the other team was left fumbling behind them as they raced back and forth across the court. I hadn’t seen them play so well in months.
When Ryan rushed to me after the last buzzer to wrap me in a sweaty hug, I even giggled. It felt nice to cheer for the winning team for once, and Ryan did look proud of himself. He was adorable, really.
In the post-game excitement, everyone somehow agreed to all go to Pizza Pete’s to celebrate. We had school the next day, but the energy was too high for everyone to just go home. Ryan even asked to ride with me instead of his teammates, without me prompting him. It was promising to be a really good night.
We all packed into the small restaurant and Anderson ordered about twenty pizzas for everyone (“Thanks, Dad, for the credit card!” he boasted wickedly). I texted my mom to let her know I’d be out late.
No worries, she replied. I’m out with your aunt. Have fun. Don’t forget about dinner Sunday.
As if I could forget.
I looked at Ryan, talking animatedly with his teammates, his arms waving in all directions. I was sure he gave them the play-by-play of the game they’d all just won. At least they were way more interested than I was when he launched into his endless sports commentary.
“Oh my gosh, don’t look, but I think Finn is checking me out,” Staci said, pulling me aside.
I looked around the crowded restaurant. Rosemark High basketball players and cheerleaders filled almost every booth and table. There were a few others from the jock crowd, mostly baseball and football players. I spotted Finn at a booth, and he was indeed sending Staci some very promising glances.
“So, go talk to him,” I said and giggled when she flushed. “Oh, so I have to be all kissy-kissy with Ryan just because you say so, but you can’t go talk to a guy?”
She bit her lip and pulled at her skirt.
“But he’s Finn Weston,” she said, her eyes wide.
Honestly, I didn’t see the attraction. He was moody and grumpy, his dark eyes turned down in a frown and his long, shaggy dark hair practically covering his face. He’d been kicked off the football team for partying and fighting too much, so he had always been a little too wild for my tastes.
Besides, Staci was so perky and positive. Except for all the random New Age stuff.
“What does the tarot have to say about it?” I said, wagging my eyebrows.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s a full moon tomorrow, I’ll do a reading then,” she said. “Tonight I’ll just trust my intuition and see what happens.”
I giggled and gave her a not-so-gentle push in his direction. I sat in the booth just across and watched her walk by casually, peek over her shoulder at him, and then keep walking. His eyes followed her as she bent to talk to someone at a nearby table. Finally, pushing back his long hair, he stood and ambled over to her, asking her something. I couldn’t tell what it was—people were being super noisy in their excitement—but she gave a slow half-smile, and her eyes sparkled.
“Hey, what’s up?” Ryan dropped into the seat next to me, and the spell was broken.
I’d been so engrossed in the beginnings of a love story happening right in front of me, I’d forgotten I already had my own to worry about.
Worry, because whatever I was feeling couldn’t exactly be called love. Warm cordiality perhaps?
Still, I snuggled up against him, happy to have someone next to me on such an exciting night. And he wasn’t a total disaster. We sat in comfortable silence—he must have been all talked out, thank goodness—and he ran his hand along my arm as we took in the crazy scene in front of us of the kitchen trying to make so many pizzas at once. I had even managed to position myself so I didn’t have to see Linzie practically sitting in Jeremiah’s lap at a booth on the other side of the restaurant. At least it wasn’t ‘our’ booth.
When the pizzas finally arrived, Ryan took the first one from the stack and brought it back to our table, a victorious grin on his face. He opened it up and dug in with gusto.
“Um,” I peeked into the box. “Are there any without mushrooms?”
He considered the piece he’d already half shoved in his mouth and shrugged.
“I just grabbed whatever. You can see what the other tables got.”
So much for warm cordiality. Inhaling deeply to avoid yelling, I decided I didn’t want to ruin the mood with this obvious opportunity for boyfriend training. I stood and was about to go see what Penny and Shannon had managed to snag, when my phone buzzed.
My chest tightened when I saw whose name was on the screen.
“I have to go,” I said to Ryan, without looking at him.
“Your parents want you home already?”
I shook my head and snatched my coat from the seat, not even stopping to kiss him goodbye in my rush to leave.
My dad was calling.
I didn’t know why I’d bailed like that. It was very un-Sammi-like. But the entire scene was making me feel like such a fraud.
Pretending I was more into Ryan than I really was.
Pretending I was fine with being friends with Jeremiah.
Pretending I wasn’t a total wreck from my dad’s voicemail.
I sped away from the restaurant, fighting back the tears that had sprung up in the short walk to my car. My dad wasn’t a part of my life anymore. I had accepted that. Why hadn’t he? He’d been the one to leave. He couldn’t just keep sending me messages like we could go back to the way it had been before.
Suddenly, the car jol
ted to the side, interrupting my thoughts with a sharp clicking noise. As I rolled over to the side of the road, I cursed through the tears. Of course this would happen, tonight of all nights. Bitterly cold, me still in my cheerleading uniform, and on the loneliest stretch of road there was in Marlowe Junction.
And, of course, my mom was with my aunt, miles away. This was the third time this week, and while it was nice to see her getting out, it was a little lonely at the house. The memories of my parents together still clung to every room, despite the fact that my mom had packed all his things into boxes. They were all sitting in the guest bedroom downstairs, waiting patiently to be taken away.
Like me, sitting on this road all by myself.
I kept the doors locked and considered my options. Staci would be my first choice, but what did she know about cars? At least I could get a ride from her. But she’d been talking to Finn when I’d left, and I didn’t want to get in the way. She’d been such a big supporter of mine, it was the least I could do. I couldn’t interrupt her.
Ryan was the next obvious choice. He was my boyfriend, after all.
But when I picked up the phone to dial, it wasn’t his name my fingers found their way to.
“Hey,” said Jeremiah, after a single ring. His voice was low and husky, and a shiver ran through my body.
The music and chatter of the restaurant rumbled in the background. It sounded really fun. Too bad I didn’t feel much like celebrating.
“I got a flat tire,” I said and bit my lip. I didn’t want to cry, not when he could hear me. “I’m out on Langford Road.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
He hung up without another word. I stared down at the phone, my heart pounding wildly at the thought of him rushing out to save me. Just like he had countless times.
What is he going to tell Linzie?
The wind howled at my windows.
Do I actually care?
I turned up the music to distract myself. It was a dark night, with only the nearly full moon illuminating this stretch of road. I wasn’t usually afraid of the dark or scary movies, but it was pretty creepy. And I was already agitated.
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