Upload

by Chris Gladstone

"Excellent! This particular project is only the beginning. The next step, in the not too distant future, will be to upload the human consciousness into human clones."

  Clones, Kiera thought, human clones, but… "What's the reason for the development of your program?" she asked Williamson.

  "There are still many people, Kiera, for whom stem cell therapy is, for many reasons, of little or no benefit. For these particular people, being uploaded into an android is far preferable to being little more than a vegetable or being locked in a non-functional body—or being in continual pain. Believe me, I already have people who have volunteered to undergo the process."

  He locked his eyes onto hers, and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Okay, I understand that, but I thought human cloning had been banned years ago." She stared straight back at him.

  He gave her an irritated look and sighed. "Things have moved on since then, Kiera. I'll send some recent papers across to you to bring you up-to-date. Uploading to a human clone is only theory today, but you know what they say––today's theory is tomorrow's future."

  When they'd finished their discussion, Kiera left his office filled with excitement and elation. She didn't want it ruined by a confrontation with Luke. He could wait until tomorrow. She knew he'd grill her about her conversation with Williamson. It was liable to cause trouble and it could be a bit curly. She'd think about it overnight, get it straight in her own head, and invent something plausible. Could she get away with telling him she'd been told to keep the project secret and couldn't discuss it? Unlikely––even though she'd only known Luke three weeks, she knew him well enough to know he wouldn't buy it. He would start needling her. She sighed. It would be just another thing she'd have to learn to deal with.

  Chapter 6

  Luke received a memo from Williamson just before he left work, requesting him to come in early the next morning for a meeting. What's it about, I wonder? I hope it doesn't have anything to do with the thing in the tea room.

  He'd become so involved in his work he'd forgotten Kiera and he were supposed to talk. She'd probably realised their meeting had been a ruse, but he'd been a bit surprised when she hadn't poked her head in after she had seen Williamson. He'd overplayed the tea room scene. Maybe she was angry and was punishing him.

  Parts of Kiera were still a complete enigma. She could be so prickly. He knew he'd have to rein in this protective thing. She was fiercely independent. It was one of the things he really liked about her. He envied her strength. He sighed, at least he'd figured out one of the things that set her off. But most of the time it was like being in a partially programmed robot. He needed more information for things to fall into place, to make sense. Part of him longed to get close enough to her to find out what went on inside her head.

  In some ways, he was like Kiera. He had secret parts he never showed, parts he kept locked away deep inside of him. He longed to be more open, more trusting. But fear always tightened around his mind like a nano-net, and the more he struggled the tighter it held him. Sometimes he couldn't breathe.

  Memories of Jenna would bubble up into his consciousness, usually just when he thought he'd finally put it to rest. It had spoiled work relationships and some of his personal ones. He'd get angry, and his paranoid protective instinct would kick in, causing a problem.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid, he told himself. He couldn't bring his sister back. She'd died five years ago. He should be well and truly over it, but for some reason, he just couldn't seem to move on—to let go.

  He sighed, and as he slowly packed up, a sudden disappointment flooded over him. Why hadn't Kiera come to talk to him? He stood immobilised, ambushed by the realisation that he was beginning to like her, really like her. They were well matched and had so many things in common. They both loved science-fiction, Indian food and the same style of music. Although neither of them practised a religion, they both classified themselves as spiritual. Oh well, he'd just have to see how things turned out.

  Luke trudged down the hallway, weighed down by a lead cloak of sadness. He missed Jenna so much. They had been really close. They had always told one another everything, so why didn't she tell him about the one thing that had mattered the most? It was a question he'd asked himself hundreds of times but still didn't know the answer. He ached for the companionship and the warmth their friendship had brought. Filled with empty loneliness, he walked out through the exit into the cold twilight.

  #

  Luke approached Williamson's office, his stomach churning. He hadn't slept much. The little sleep he'd managed had been disturbed by graphic nightmares about Jenna. One bloody image had seared itself into his brain. Jenna, with her arms outstretched had stood pleading with him while rivulets of blood streamed from her hands. In the next instant, she had morphed into Kiera. He'd stood paralysed while she'd bled to death and crumpled to the floor in a bloodied heap. The image had lasered itself into his brain and kept rewinding and repeating in an endless loop.

  Luke shook his head, took a deep breath, and knocked on Williamson's door.

  "Enter," boomed Williamson from inside. "Good morning Luke, right on time I see. Always makes a good impression. Please sit down." He indicated the chair.

  Luke placed his bag on the floor and sat. He brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and met Williamson's gaze. "What's this about?"

  "It's about a little project I want you to be involved in. I've had a chance to see your work in progress. I'm impressed. You seem to have a far better grasp of the various concepts compared to Kiera. I'm going to involve you in some research, along with myself, in a brand-new project. Because I don't want any feelings of jealousy or competition to arise between the two of you, you will need to keep this secret. I don't want you to talk to anyone about it, let alone Kiera. Can you manage that, Luke?"

  "I…guess so." Great Universe, this guy was bizarre, one minute curt and snarly and the next pouring on the charm. He needn't have worried about the tea room thing. Williamson appeared to have forgotten all about it, and now he was offering him his own project. A cursor began flashing at the back of his brain. Something didn't add up. He didn't trust the guy. He was up to something, but what? With an effort, Luke pulled his face into a nonchalant expression. "What's the project about?"

  "Basically, I've been working on algorithms for a program to upload the human consciousness. Initially, the upload will be into a computer, but subsequently, when the glitches have been ironed out, into an android and ultimately into a human clone." He fixed Luke with a steady stare.

  Luke, all ears now, couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I thought that particular line of work had been banned ten years ago."

  "A lot can happen in ten years, Luke. Things have moved on, and there's been some success with mice."

  "How on earth could you ever prove the accurate uploading of consciousness from one mouse to another?" Luke said, wide-eyed.

  "Quite simply; you teach one mouse to navigate a complicated maze. That mouse's consciousness is uploaded into an untrained mouse who is placed in the same maze. It's been shown that the untrained mouse can navigate the maze on the first try and with greater speed than the original mouse. The experimental results have been duplicated by many researchers now. I'll send a couple of the papers to you, so you can verify the results for yourself."

  "I'm impressed. I had no idea things had progressed so far. Are there any serious side-effects?"

  "Initially yes, but they've been all ironed out." He leant back in his chair and put both hands behind his head. "So, are you interested?"

  "I am interested," he frowned, "but what about the ethics of testing this on humans?"

  "Many people have volunteered for the process. They are of sound mind and have signed all the relevant papers. These are people trapped in paralysed bodies and unable to be helped by stem cell technology. I'm just hoping it doesn't take too long, otherwise some will die, and we'll just have to go through the selection process all over again. That would be most inconvenient."


  Luke held his face in a solemn expression, but his thoughts raged. Unbelievable! Inconvenient for Zark's sake, these were people, not bloody mice.

  "We will be doing them all a huge favour," continued Williamson. "So, do you want the project or not?"

  "Will Kiera be involved in this?" Something wasn't right here.

  "I thought I'd already explained to you." He gave Luke an exasperated look. "To put it bluntly, she simply isn't bright enough to be involved."

  What a blatant lie. He thought Kiera far brighter than himself. They had had some interesting discussions about their work. Some of her approaches were unique and quite different from his. They would make a brilliant team. "I don't agree with you and I think we would make more progress if we worked together as a team."

  "She is not to be involved. Is that quite clear?"

  Luke stared back at him in silence. All pleasantness had vanished from Williamson's face.

  "Now, answer my question. Do you want the project or not?"

  Luke thought quickly. Whatever Williamson's game, he should play. He would talk to Kiera later about it, despite Williamson's warning. Nobody shut him down like that and got away with it.

  "Okay, I do want the project, but I'm not happy with the secrecy aspect."

  "Duly noted. I'll send all of the appropriate files to you later today, and they are for your eyes only. Is that clear?" His eyes narrowed.

  "Yes."

  "All right, off you go." He made a shooing motion with his hands for Luke to leave. Luke did.

  He returned to his office. He sat down, almost overwhelmed by the sound of his heart thundering in his ears. He needed to think. How could he approach Kiera with this? His stomach churned and he broke out into a sweat as he realised his feelings extended beyond just like. They were beginning to crystallise into something far more serious. She's become important to me. How could that have happened in such a short time? Prickly or not, he loved her bubbly nature, her intellect and her positive outlook on life. She could be my last chance. He had a dismal track record for the few relationships he'd had in the past. He'd put his life on hold when his parents had died to look after Jenna. When she'd died, he'd retreated into a cocoon of guilt. He couldn't afford to lose Kiera.

  He wouldn't, no matter what. He'd even quit this job if it stood between them. Great Universe! Perhaps he shouldn't tell her about his conversation with Williamson. What if he told her and she reacted unpredictably? She might become jealous or resentful. It could mean the end of any possibility of a relationship between them. Could he afford to take the risk? Why did things have to be so Zarking difficult?

  He stared at the screens on the opposite wall, as a battle of indecision raged inside him. The sound of Kiera's door jerked him back into awareness. He took a deep breath. He'd made up his mind.

  He went out his door, walked over to Kiera's and gave a light tap.

  "Come in," she said, in a friendly tone.

  He opened her door and leant on the door frame. "Hi Kiera. I need to talk to you. Is now okay?" He struggled to hear himself over his juddering heart.

  Kiera's face softened. "Sure." She paused, before asking, "Are you okay? You look really pale, and…" she trailed off and sat studying him.

  "I hardly got any sleep last night." He planted himself in the chair opposite her. "I've got something important to tell you…and it's difficult." His speech faltered, and he concentrated on his clenched hands.

  "Luke, what's wrong?" Her expression had transformed into concern.

  He took a deep breath. "It's…complicated, so Zarking complicated."

  "Is it something to do with me, or work, or Williamson?"

  "All of it." Luke fought to stay in control and tried to blink away his tears.

  Kiera sprang from her chair and rushed over to him. She crouched down and took both of his hands in hers. "It's okay. Just take your time, Luke."

  He gripped her hands, as tears began streaming down his face.

  "Oh Kiera, Kiera…I'm so lonely. I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid what I'm going to tell you…" As the words stalled in his throat, he pulled his hand from hers, and wiped his face with his sleeve. "I'm afraid it will rip us apart forever."

  "I'm sure nothing you tell me would do that, Luke." Kiera stood up, grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk, and patted his face. "Why are you lonely? Don't you have a sister?"

  "She committed suicide five years ago." He began to sob. The domino wall he'd so carefully constructed broke in an avalanche of tears.

  "Oh God…Luke, I'm so sorry." Kiera put her arm around him and began stroking his head.

  Minutes passed before he could stop crying.

  Kiera sat back down on the floor in front of him. "What happened Luke?"

  "She'd been sexually abused at work for six months––six months, Kiera, and she didn't tell me. I noticed the change in her, her withdrawal and the dull look in her eyes. I asked her so many times what was wrong, but she said it was nothing. I only found out what had happened after she'd died. She'd been raped, Kiera, and the day she killed herself, she'd found out she was pregnant."

  "Oh God."

  He could see the horror in Kiera's eyes and on her face. "I'd gone to the gym. When I came home and found all the lights on I should have realised something was wrong. I should have checked on her." He reached across, grabbed another tissue, and dabbed at his face.

  Kiera stood up. She went around the other side of the desk and trundled her chair around to him and sat down. "Would it have made any difference?"

  "No, her watch stopped at 8:27 p.m.––I didn't get home until 10:30." He met her eyes.

  Kiera frowned. "Why did her watch stop, Luke?"

  "It wasn't waterproof––she got it wet––in the bath. She lay dead in the freezing bathwater all night; all night, Kiera, while I was asleep."

  Luke saw Kiera's expression change, saw her brace herself.

  "How did she die? Pills or…?"

  Before he could stop himself, he blurted it out. "She cut her wrists with a kitchen knife. She was lying there under the bloodied water and…and there were all these obscene pink tinged bubbles floating around. Zarking bloody pink bubbles, Kiera. Even her hair was tinged pink."

  Kiera put her hand to her mouth. "Oh Luke."

  She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight. He could feel her trembling.

  "What did you do?"

  He ran his hand through his hair. "I managed to drag her out. I laid her on the bath mat and covered her with a towel then I sort of went numb. I sat there for a while, plucking strands of her hair off her face. When I finally decided to ring the police, I found her suicide note propped up against the salt and pepper shakers on our table. I've read it every night since. It said, 'Dearest Luke, you're the best brother anyone could ever have. You cared for me so well after Mum and Dad died. I will love you forever. I'm so sorry to leave you like this, but the pain has become too much. I've been such a burden to you, Luke––now you and I are free. Live and love to the max bro. May the universe guard, guide and protect you, wherever you are. Kiss kiss kiss Jenna.'"

  Kiera's eyes were brimming with tears. "You must have been devastated."

  "We were supposed to stick together. We made a pact after Mum and Dad died to always be there for one another. I let her down, Kiera. I let her down."

  "From the note Jenna left you Luke, she didn't think you had let her down."

  "Then why did she leave me, Kiera? Why did she abandon me?" The words almost choked in his throat.

  He could see Kiera struggling to find the right words, finally she said, "She was ill, Luke. Her thought processes were all Zarked up––she didn't abandon you."

  "Now I'm terrified, Keira, terrified that every time I get close to someone something's going to happen to them." Kiera's eyes flooded with sympathy, warmth and…? Was it love he could see in them?

  Kiera frowned and asked, "What happened to the person who had assaulted her?"

  "O
ther staff at her workplace blew the whistle on a senior partner in the firm. He was brought to trial, and they proved he was the father from DNA evidence obtained from the foetus. He got five years. I wanted to kill him." His stomach had gone tight and he had curled his fists into balls.

  "Were you able to grieve?"

  "This is the first time I've been able to cry. I still feel I could have done so much better. The guilt is always gnawing away at my insides, Kiera. Jenna's dead face haunts me, I can't let it go."

  "It's been five years, Luke. You did the best you could for Jenna. Judging by her note, she thought you'd done an incredible job caring for her. She would have wanted you to move on and to be happy." She cocked her head to one side and stared into his eyes. "But that wasn't what you came to tell me was it?"

  "No, I came to tell you about my meeting with Williamson." He told her what had transpired in Williamson's office. To his surprise, anger flashed over her face. He fished a handkerchief out of his pocket, dried his face and blew his nose.

  Kiera got up, wheeled her chair back to the other side of the desk and sat down. "I feel like telling him just where to shove his job. God! I've been so stupid. He pulled the exact same thing with me, and," she paused, her face holding a mixture of guilt and contrition, "I fell for it." She picked up a pencil and began to doodle.

  "I think we've got a few choices," Luke said. "For a start he doesn't know we're on to him. We could play his game. We could each work on a different section of the program and collaborate. We both have different approaches, so I think that could work. What's your feeling?"

  "Yes, we could do that, or we could both resign." She pressed so hard the pencil point broke.

  "Do you really want to resign, Kiera?"

  "No." She threw her pencil down and met his eyes. "Does that sound awful?"

  "No. I don't want to resign either. This has to be one of the most revolutionary projects ever contemplated. It's too Zarking important to walk away from. The implications are almost incomprehensible. We're talking about humans becoming machines. Remember that slogan that used to be bandied around way back in the twenties?"