by Claire Adams
I’d spent some time in the last week opening an account with a broker and getting some investments set up. That’s what people with a lot of money were supposed to do, right?
I had also started reading about setting up some special accounts for Kadie. I didn’t want to bring up the subject again to Aspyn because of how she’d reacted the last time I’d mentioned money, but starting a college fund early made sense.
Gesturing to the crib, I said, “How about we start with that? You probably have more experience putting one together.”
Aspyn laughed and knelt down by the box. “My mom actually set Kadie’s up.” She shrugged.
I relaxed at seeing her laugh and smile. “I guess I should have asked Nana to come by, then.”
She shot me a playful glare. “Maybe.”
We opened the box and carefully removed all the pieces, screws, and everything we needed. I pulled my toolbox over and opened it.
“Nothing like putting something together,” I said. “Putting something together with your own two hands. There’s no better feeling.”
“But you’re not doing that kind of work anymore,” Aspyn said softly.
I grabbed a few pieces of the crib and glanced over at her. “Huh?”
“You’re a rancher now, not a construction worker.”
I laughed. “What? Worried I forgot how to use a few tools? I might not still be working construction, but I’m still a man.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “I mean, you seem to really like building things.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Are you gonna be satisfied not doing that anymore? Are you gonna be satisfied being a rancher?”
I shrugged. “Not like I haven’t done this kind of work before. Don’t you remember I used to work on the ranch every summer?”
“But you didn’t want to stay and work on a ranch before.” Her hand glided over a long plastic piece. “This place wasn’t enough for you before.”
We locked eyes, and I shook my head.
“Is that what this is all about?”
“I was just curious.”
“I’m not leaving, Aspyn,” I said. “I don’t know how else I can prove that to you other than what I’ve done.”
“But will you be happy working for Carl?”
“No, I won’t be.” I chuckled. “But I’m also not working for Carl. At least not anymore. I’m his partner.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It means I’ll have a stake in the horses and cattle, both the ones we raise and sell and the ones we stud out.”
Aspyn frowned slightly. “But Carl is always complaining about how things are tight at the ranch. I don’t get how dividing his profit in half would make that better. I get that he’s trying to help you out, but what if he’s messing things up for both of you?”
I watched her for a moment, thinking over what I should say. I had no reason to get mad at her asking these sorts of questions. I wasn’t just Kadie’s father anymore. I was the guy sleeping with her. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t a deadbeat.
The urge to tell her about my money returned, but I kept my mouth shut. Everything was still up in the air, but she did need to understand that Carl wasn’t about to head to the poor house.
“Things were tight for Carl before,” I said, “because he didn’t have enough land, and he needed more land, but with this new land, we can expand things, and that means it’ll be way more profitable. Gotta spend money to make money.”
“Huh. I guess I’ve never thought about it much.”
We lapsed mostly into silence as we began assembling the crib. I occasionally asked for her to hold something, or she asked a question here and there but not much else.
Aspyn stood when we finished. “Kadie’s been awfully quiet.”
My heart sped up. It wasn’t like my new house was a death trap, but I’d not made it toddler-proof yet. The playroom only had one exit, though, so it wasn’t like she could wander off.
I jumped to my feet, rushing into the other room. Kadie lay curled up on the floor, her hands tucked underneath her head, taking a nap.
Aspyn hurried in after me. She smiled. “I guess she can test the crib out now.”
I picked up Kadie. She nuzzled my shoulder as I carried her into the other room and laid her in the crib.
“She’ll need her bed sooner than I thought,” I said, looking down at my daughter asleep on top of the mattress in the crib. “Now that I see how big she is in the crib.”
“Sure, but not today.”
“Still, better to do it now.”
Aspyn sighed. “She’s growing up so fast. Guess I’ll need to get her a bed for my house too.”
I almost asked her to move in right then and there, but I stopped myself. It’d be a dumbass move.
A serious expression settled over Aspyn’s face, and she turned to me. “Why?”
“Huh?”
“I know why you came back, but once you found out you had a kid, why didn’t you go running?”
“Why the hell would I run?” I blinked, trying to figure out Aspyn’s angle on this.
She stared down at the sleeping little girl. “I mean, maybe not run from town, but once you knew about her, you wanted to be involved.” She gestured around. “You even bought this house thinking about her.”
“I don’t get it. You don’t think I should have thought that way?”
“No, no.” Aspyn shook her head. “It’s just that you didn’t have to. I’ll admit I’ve even made it hard for you. It would have been easy for you to say you’ll write a check, or you didn’t want to be involved, but you want to be involved.” She locked eyes with me. “So why?”
I opened my mouth and then shut it. I knew exactly why. Love.
I accepted it now, fully and freely. I loved Aspyn and probably had for a long time. Part of the reason I didn’t want to contact her after my accident was that I’d been afraid she’d reject me.
If I loved Aspyn, then as far I could figure, anything that came from that love was a great thing, like Kadie.
Of course, a man had responsibilities, and I’d never walk away for that reason alone, but love helped bring me back to Livingston and helped me push through the darkness that swallowed me.
Aspyn continued to stare at me expectantly.
I wanted to tell how much I loved her, but something felt wrong. I don’t know what. The timing, maybe? For all I knew, it was the cowardice I’d thought I escaped.
“A man who walks away from his responsibilities,” I said finally, “is no kind of man at all.”
She nodded slowly, her face blank. I couldn’t tell if she believed me or not.
Aspyn leaned in and gave me a light kiss. “Well, thank you, Alex. That’s all I can say.” She nodded toward the box containing the toddler bed frame. “Maybe we should get started on that.”
“Yeah, maybe we should.”
My gaze drifted back to my daughter. Good things had come for me, and more good things would happen. I just had to be patient. For that one perfect moment, I believed my feelings reached her.
Chapter 33
Aspyn
“Here’s your coffee,” I said, handing a parishioner a Styrofoam cup filled with the hot brew. Perri stood next to me, handing out cookies.
“Thank you, dear,” the old woman said before moving on.
It’d been a while since I helped out with the after-service coffee at church. We all needed to do our part, but I’d been so busy lately. It took Mama pointing out how long it’d been since I helped to spur me towards volunteering. Guilt could do a lot to motivate a woman. Well, that and Mama had agreed to watch Kadie.
I smiled as I handed another cup to the next person. Warmth filled me at the fellowship I was sharing with the rest of my congregation. It’s part of what I loved about Livingston. I had my friends and Mama, but I also knew I could depend on the people from my church to help me out.
Having people you could count on was a big thing. Ev
ery time I thought about Alex living in Texas, my heart ached. He’d had to return to Livingston because he didn’t have people he could count on. Now, he did.
As I handed out another cup, I thought about getting Alex to start coming to my church. Maybe if he had even more people who cared about him, it’d help him open up even more.
The line slowly shrank until we’d served the last person. I let out a sigh of relief and picked up my own cup of coffee to take a sip. A glint caught my eye, and I turned. Perri’s new engagement ring was the source.
“It’s nice,” I said, smiling.
My friend looked over at me with a frown. “Huh?”
I nodded toward her hand. “Your ring. I haven’t said anything yet about how nice it looked.” I nodded toward the hallway. “Now that we’ve served everyone, let’s go chat.”
Perri picked up a cookie and cup and followed me. Once we reached the side hallway, she glanced up and down it before returning her attention to me, a suspicious look in her eye.
We both took a few sips of our coffee before Perri broke the silence.
“What’s up?” she said, still eyeing me like I’d stolen from the collection plate.
“Nothing’s up,” I said. “I just wanted somewhere quieter.”
“And conveniently where there’s no one else around to overhear us?”
I shrugged. “Maybe. I guess. Yeah, the thought had occurred to me.”
Perri stared at me for a few seconds. “What’s wrong, Aspyn?”
I shook my head. “Nothing’s wrong. Just your ring got me to thinking.”
“About what?” She frowned slightly. “Don’t you dare tell me you think I shouldn’t have said yes. If you were going to make a stink, you should have done it that night.”
I threw up my hands in a placating gesture. “No, no, no. Nothing like that. It’s just engagements make me think about the future.”
“What about the future?” she said, her eyes narrowed. “My future? Your future?”
I rolled my eyes. “Relax, Perri. You and Carl have been in love since high school, and you’ve basically been all but married since then as well. I don’t think there’s a single person in Livingston who thinks your marriage is a bad idea. Well, maybe that one waitress who used to work at the Wild Mustang, but she’s over at Tornado Alley, and I don’t think Carl even goes there anymore.”
“He doesn’t.” Perri let out a breath, her shoulders relaxing. She’d been about two steps from throwing down with me to defend her man’s honor. “Then what are you getting at?” she said. “With all your talking about the future and such?”
“I wasn’t thinking about you and Carl. I was thinking about me and Alex.”
Her face lit up. “Did he ask you?”
I scoffed so loudly, I’m sure the entire congregation heard it. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just yesterday I was at his house helping him put together furniture. He’s got a room there for Kadie, bought all sorts of stuff.”
“Yeah,” Perri said, nodding. “That’s a good thing, right? No one likes a father who’s a cheapskate.”
“Maybe. But is it really a good thing?”
She blinked. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
I lifted one finger. “He buys a new truck.”
“It’s used, I thought. Like 50,000 miles or something?”
I shrugged. “You know, well, new used.” I lifted a second finger. “He buys a house.” I lifted a third finger. “He buys a bunch of new appliances for his kitchen. You should see some of these things. It’s like some of these could have come from NASA.”
“Oh, now you’re exaggerating.”
“I’m just saying.” I lifted a fourth finger. “And he buys a bunch of furniture for a daughter, who, as far as he knows, will only be staying with him part-time. I went online and checked the prices of some of these things. They weren’t cheap. They were expensive.”
Perri stared at me for a good 10 seconds. My pulse raced, my stomach tightened, and I swallowed. I knew my best friend would confirm how suspicious all Alex’s spending had been. Once we confirmed it, she could help me brainstorm how to deal with it.
“Are you drunk, Aspyn?” she said.
I’d been expecting a lot of different responses but not that. “Huh? Why would I be drunk? We’re in church!”
Perri shook her head and clucked her tongue like some old grandma. “Listen to you. I don’t get you. You’re complaining about Alex putting down roots. Seriously?”
“No, no. That’s not what I’m upset about. You don’t understand.”
“He’s doing everything he can to make it clear he’s staying. That’s why he needs a house and furniture. Well, maybe not the truck, but you can’t expect a man to live without a truck. This isn’t New York. This is Livingston.”
The head of a choir stepped into the hallway. We both offered her a smile.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Carmichael,” I said.
Perri offered her a polite nod and took a sip of her coffee.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” Mrs. Carmichael said.
Fortunately, she didn’t want to stop to chat. Once Mrs. Carmichael got going, it practically took the Second Coming to get her to stop.
She continued down the hallway. Even if she didn’t want to chat, she did serve as a nice reminder that we weren’t at my house, and we couldn’t expect much in the way of lasting privacy.
I waited until Mrs. Carmichael turned a corner to continue talking. “I get that Alex wants to convince me he’s going to stay. I’m convinced.” I shrugged. “And we’re getting along great. I couldn’t ask for things to be any better. This isn’t about that.”
“Okay, then.” Perri narrowed her eyes. “What’s it’s about?”
“Could you buy a new house, truck, land, and a whole house full of furniture? I don’t mean eventually. I mean in like, a couple of weeks.”
“Well, not right now. I couldn’t afford it.”
I shook my finger. “Exactly. He’s flinging money around like he’s a millionaire. He can’t afford it. He’s taking loans or something, going into a bunch of debt just to impress me.” I sighed. “That’s gonna cause trouble down the line. The bill’s gonna come due, and then what? Just because you get a little insurance payment doesn’t make you a billionaire. Remember how my cousin thought he was going to be on easy street after his accident, and then he ended up spending too much?”
Perri rolled her eyes. “What? You think he’s going to run off so the bank doesn’t foreclose on his house?”
“No.” I groaned and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “I’m saying if he wants to stay here with me, he needs to be careful.”
“You’re being stupid,” Perri said.
I blinked and tried to convince myself I hadn’t heard what I’d heard.
“What?” I managed to stammer out. “Did you call me stupid?”
“No, I didn’t call you stupid. I said you’re being stupid,” she said. “One you can fix. The other you can’t.”
I frowned. “I should slap you, Perri.” My hand twitched to do that.
“In church?” She snorted. “I should slap you, then. You have a great thing with Alex. Lord knows it shouldn’t have worked. You two have wanted each other as long as Carl and I were eyeing each other. He left.” She shook her head. “And then Alex came back and knocked you up. And when he found out, the first thing he did was want to be part of your life and not try to run away screaming.”
I rubbed my temples. Why couldn’t she understand? “I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. I’m worried about him spending too much.”
Perri shook her head. “No. You’re looking for problems. This is just negative thinking. You know what they say. You get out of the world what you put into it.” She gulped down some coffee. “You need to get over this before you end up messing up something great.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy or stupid to worry where he’s getting the money to buy all those things.”
Perri threw her
free hand in the air. “Then ask him, woman. Worrying about it won’t do cr—” She closed her eyes and took a deep sigh before glancing over at a picture of Jesus on the wall. “Worrying about it won’t help. The best thing to do is be honest with him. Like Carl was with me. Now, we can move forward, and so will you and Alex.”
I nodded slowly, chewing on that. “Hey, has Carl said anything about Alex borrowing money?”
Perri let out a long groan and started walking away. “I’m not gonna stand by and watch my best friend be stupid about the man she’s been into for half her life. Talk to Alex if you wanna know. Not my business otherwise.”
I stood there, Styrofoam cup in hand, watching my friend walk away. Alex had returned to Livingston to get back on his feet. It wasn’t crazy to be concerned about him doing something that might make his problems worse.
Guilt gnawed at my stomach. If he were doing it for himself, that’d be sad, but he was doing it to impress me. There was no other explanation for what was going on. He’d borrowed a bunch to convince me he was responsible.
I slumped against the wall, my heart thundering. Perri was right. I had no choice. I had to confront Alex about his spending.
Chapter 34
Alex
Nothing like looking over your money on a Monday night. I chuckled to myself at the thought. I was still getting a handle on where to put what, but at least I had some actual investments now.
Even before the accident, I’d been sitting on a decent amount of money. When you never really spend anything, it was easy to save. But at the same time, I’d never cared about making a bunch more money. I guess I never really believed the kind of future would come for me where I’d need a lot of money.
Now, though, I didn’t have only my future to worry about but also that of my daughter. From what little I’d learned about starting a college fund for Kadie, I’d need to talk to her mother so we could work out some details first.
Not that I felt like I had to get that figured out anytime soon. Sure, my little girl was smart, but she still wasn’t going to college anytime soon.