by Claire Adams
Sitting at my new dining room table, I looked at the mess of numbers on my laptop screen. The whole thing gave me a bit of a headache, but in the end, it was the good kind of pain. That money represented freedom.
Not only freedom for me to return to Livingston and heal from the nightmares, but freedom for my daughter and her mother. It’d become obvious to me that things had been tighter for Kadie and Aspyn over the last few years than I’d first realized.
It was the little things I noticed at first, how worn down her furniture was, how she needed new tires, lots of things like that. By themselves, none of them were a big deal, but all together, they worried me.
Having her mother around and other people had helped, but I should have been there to support them. Her mother shouldn’t have had to start a daycare to make sure my daughter had somewhere to stay while her mother worked.
I gritted my teeth at the thought. It wasn’t fair to Aspyn, and it wasn’t fair to Kadie. Yes, I didn’t know, but a big part of that was because I’d been too chickenshit to contact Aspyn after my accident.
I didn’t think my daughter had suffered, but that’s only because her mother and grandmother did everything they could, despite not having me to back them up. If I’d been more of a man instead of being a coward, they wouldn’t have had to work so hard. The whole thing made my stomach churn with shame.
I’d never claimed to be a smart man or a wise one, but I did know one important thing, something my dad had pounded into my head over my childhood. A man’s duty was to protect his woman and child. Even though my mom had left, my dad still believed that, and he’d focused on protecting me.
Unlike my dad, I’d failed that duty, but I had a chance for redemption. The good Lord had mercifully steered me back to Livingston, and now I knew what I needed to do, and I had the tools to do it.
My heart swelled with pride at the thought. The future lay before me, wide and open. I was partners now with Carl, and we’d make Ranch 2.0 the best damn ranch in all of Tennessee. Screw that; we’d make it the best damn ranch in the entire South.
I shot up from the table, renewed purpose filling my mind. I needed to tell Aspyn the truth about how I felt. The longer I was wishy-washy, the longer she’d keep me at arm’s length. That was another part of being a man.
Someone knocked on my front door. I furrowed my brow and headed toward the door. I’d spent most of the day helping Carl, more than I’d planned because I was supposed to be working on my house, but he’d made it clear that he’d leave me alone that night.
Proposing to Perri had been a great thing, but it’d left my bro a little distracted. I didn’t mind picking up some of the slack at the ranch, but I hoped he’d snap the hell out of it sooner than later. I only wondered if I’d end up the same when I got around to proposing to Aspyn.
I froze in front of the door. Proposing to Aspyn? It’d felt so natural, so right. I guess once I’d accepted how much I loved her, my mind went to the next natural step. After all, unlike a lot of people, we knew each other very well, even if we’d spent years apart.
Another knock came from the door.
“Damn, Carl, I thought—” I said, opening the door.
Carl wasn’t standing there. Aspyn was standing there, holding Kadie’s hand.
I gave them both a quick kiss on the cheek before motioning inside. “I didn’t know you were coming over. Why didn’t you give me a call?”
Aspyn led Kadie inside. “I thought it’d be good to stop by.”
“You should know you’re always welcome here.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I just wish you would have told me so I could make sure I had some food for you.” I gave her a sheepish grin.
“That’s not a problem. We already ate.” Aspyn sucked in a breath and then slowly let it out. “Just wanted to visit. Before I knew it, I was driving over here.”
I wanted to grin like a drunk fool at hearing those words. I liked the idea of Aspyn wanting to be around me so much that she’d up and drive over, but as I watched her, I knew that wasn’t why she’d come over.
Something was wrong. I didn’t know what, and it wasn’t like she was frowning, but it was almost like she was trying not to frown.
“Everything okay?” I asked. “You feeling okay?”
“No, no. I mean, yes. I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“You know, life and the future and whatnot.”
“Woah. Heavy.”
“I’m thirsty,” Kadie said. “I want juice.”
I laughed. “That’s something I can handle. One second, sweetie.”
I headed into my kitchen to pour her a glass of orange juice. When I returned, Kadie clapped, but that’s not what caught my eye.
Aspyn was standing behind my laptop, a look of complete shock on her face, her skin reddening.
I handed Kadie her orange juice, and she began slurping and sipping away. I ignored Kadie and focused on her mother. A scowl grew on her face.
“Is this some kind of joke?” Aspyn said, her voice full of anger.
“What?” I said, keeping my voice flat. I had no idea why Aspyn was so pissed off, but it was obvious she was angry as hell.
I didn’t get it. I hadn’t even looked at any porn since coming back to town, and so even if she’d been checking my browser history or something, it shouldn’t have made her so angry.
She pointed at the laptop. “I didn’t mean … No, wait. I don’t care to apologize. You’re the one hiding things.”
“Hiding what?”
“You have your account statements right there on your screen.”
I nodded slowly. Things made a bit more sense, but I still didn’t get why she was so angry. Surprise I would have expected; anger, not so much.
I’d meant to bring this all up sooner than later, but this would have to do. “Yeah. What about them?”
“You’re a fucking millionaire?” she said, anger baked into every word.
“Mama said a swear,” Kadie said and giggled.
Aspyn stomped over to our daughter and pulled her away from me, her eyes full of fire.
I stared at her, confused. The whole thing made no sense to me. I mean, I knew plenty of women who had problems with their man not pulling his weight and being too poor, but getting mad because your man had cash was a strange-ass reaction.
I’d never known she was so hung up on money. She’d never been when we were younger. I decided it was a good thing I hadn’t told her the truth earlier.
“Is it true?” Aspyn snapped, yanking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah, if you add it all up, I guess, technically, yeah, I’m a millionaire.” I shrugged. Sounded kind of silly when I said it out loud like that. “Just barely, though.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, just barely? How sad for you.” She shook her head. “How did this even happen? Did you win the lottery or something?”
I shook my head. “Only the worst kind of lottery. The accident, when they investigated it, they figured out a lot of safety procedures hadn’t been followed. They gave me a big-ass settlement. The family of the guy who died got way more.”
“Daddy and Mama said a swear,” Kadie said after taking a slurp of her juice.
I wanted to pat her on her head, but Aspyn had pulled her out of arm’s reach.
“And I’d been saving my money anyway,” I continued. “I never had more than a tiny little apartment and didn’t go out much, do much, or see much. Just put it all away. I didn’t really start investing it until the last few weeks, though. I don’t know why. It just seemed weird, I guess. No planning for the future until I had a reason.” I sighed. “So all that saving plus the settlement, yeah, it put me over the top.” I did a little swagger step, trying to lighten the mood. “Guess I’m the millionaire next door.”
Aspyn snatched the cup from Kadie and handed it to me. I took it, eyeing her. Her face was completely red at this point, and she was shaking with rage. “So you’ve been lying to me this entire time?”<
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“I wasn’t done, Mama,” Kadie whined.
“We’re leaving, sweetie,” Aspyn said.
“Why? What is even going on with you?” I said. “Why is it such a bad thing that I have money? I’m still the same man I’ve always been.”
“Bullshit. I don’t even know you,” she hissed. “Was that your plan, all along? Ghost me and then come back and buy your way back, Mr. Money Bags?”
“No, no, no. I told you everything about why that happened. I—”
Aspyn picked up Kadie and all but ran from the room. I rushed after them.
“Aspyn, wait!”
Our daughter waved at me, and I waved back. I wanted to shout, but Kadie hadn’t seemed to have realized that her mother was angry with me. The last thing I wanted was to get my daughter upset.
Kadie and her mother were through the front door before I could even begin to understand what had happened.
Chapter 35
Aspyn
A little white lie never hurt anyone, so I called in sick to work the next morning, and then I asked Mama if I could stay over at her house. I turned off my phone, figuring anyone who wanted to call me would think I was sleeping. It was hiding, not only from Alex, but Perri, Carl, and even Joe.
Not that it’d take much for someone to track me down if they really wanted, but I figured this was enough to keep Alex and my friends out of my hair for at least one day.
I’d slept a good part of Tuesday, so maybe my little lie about being sick had become truth in a way. Now, as dinner moved closer, I lay in the guest room bed staring up at Mama’s popcorn ceiling and wondering how the builders got it to look like that. My ceiling at my own house was boring and flat.
It turns out there’s not a lot to do otherwise when you’re trying to avoid everyone and stay off your phone. Mama didn’t have cable TV or a computer, so it wasn’t like there was even much to watch. I wished I’d least had enough smarts to go the library to pick up a book before I started my little stint in fake witness protection.
The sad part was I wasn’t even sure why I was hiding. To know that, I’d first have to know why I freaked the hell out when I found out Alex was loaded. I thought I knew, but something about that seemed wrong, like I was missing something else big and obvious.
I’d told Perri I was worried about how Alex was paying for everything, worried that he was borrowing too much money. I’d convinced myself I was helping the man to destroy himself financially. Then I went and found out the guy would have to start buying new cars left and right to even have a chance of hurting his bank account.
So why was I so angry at the news? I should have been overjoyed I was off the hook.
I rolled to my side and sighed.
It was just not right. That’s what I came up with it. Alex was a construction worker, and now he was a rancher in a small town. He shouldn’t have that much money. Livingston wasn’t the kind of place where millionaires lived.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Yes?” I called, sitting up.
Mama opened the door and smiled at me. “Kadie’s taking a little nap in my room, and the rest of the kids have been picked up by their parents. You can come out if you want.”
“Oh, Mama, you didn’t have to do that. You could have had Kadie come in here. I’m not trying to hide from my own daughter.”
She shook her head. “I think you needed some time alone to think.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “As much as I love to have you visit me, maybe if you told me what was going on, I could help you.”
“Help me?”
“When you said you needed to hide out at my house, I didn’t question it.” Mama sighed. “Because I figured you’d tell me sooner than later. Well, now it’s later, and I want to know what the problem is.”
“Alex. He’s the problem. We had a fight.”
“About what? As best I can tell, the man is doing everything he can to prove he’ll be a good father to Kadie. I’m not understanding the problem. What did he do?”
“Alex is a fraud.” I snorted. “I don’t know if I can trust a man who’s not honest about what he is.”
Mama’s eyebrows lifted. “Oh? And what is that? I don’t know if I want to know, but is he some sort of pervert or something? Does he have some special room for weird sex?”
This was the last way I’d wanted the conversation to go.
Bile rose in my throat, and my stomach lurched. “Lord, Mama, no. And I don’t ever want to talk about anything like that again with you.”
“I read too. I know what people are thinking about. What is it, then?”
I groaned and slapped the back of a hand on my forehead. “He’s rich, Mama.”
“What?”
“He’s rich. He’s a millionaire. The other day when I went over to his house, he left his laptop open, and I saw some account statements. Bunch of investment and savings accounts. He could buy a bunch of houses around here and still have money left over.”
Mama nodded slowly and then whistled. “You sure know how to pick them, Aspyn.”
“Right? How can I trust a man who isn’t honest with me?”
She laughed. “You’re upset because the father of your daughter, a man who obviously still has strong feelings for you, is rich and not poor? The Bible doesn’t say it’s impossible for a rich man to get into heaven, just hard.”
“You don’t get it. It’s about trust.” I shrugged and lay back down, rolling away to glare at the wall. “You haven’t seen his house, Mama. He bought it like it was nothing. I thought he’d taken out a loan, but when I looked at his computer, I saw that he’d bought it outright. He’s filled it with stuff I could never afford.”
Mama tapped my leg. “Okay, I see the problem.”
I rolled back to face her, my heart lightening. Finally, someone could see my side. “You do?”
“You’re not upset with him, Aspyn.”
“Huh? I most certainly am.”
She shook her head. “You’re upset with yourself.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You’re upset because he can afford better things than you.”
I groaned. “This isn’t about jealousy. Joe and his wife can buy better things than me, but they don’t pretend to be anything other than they are. They aren’t frauds.”
She let out a long sigh. “Joe and his wife also have no responsibility for Kadie.”
“What are saying, Mama?”
“I’m saying you’re worried that you can’t provide for Kadie as good as Alex can.”
I shot out of the bed, crossing my arms and glaring down at my mama. “What are you getting at?”
She held up a hand and shook her head. “Not saying I agree. I’m saying that’s what has got you twisted around in your scared little mind. He comes back, and he’s rich, and on some level, you think you’ve failed or something.”
“I …” I shook my head. My pulse pounded in my ears. I didn’t want to listen to her.
“Your father, God rest his soul, gave his life for his country when you were young,” Mama said quietly. “I had to support you all my own. Every single mother goes through what you’re going through, Aspyn. We all wonder if we’re doing enough, if we’re hurting our beloved children by not providing enough.”
I uncrossed my arms and sat down on edge of the bed with a sigh. “But what if I did screw up, Mama? Even if I thought he was ghosting me, I could have kept trying. Could have pressed Carl.” I let out a nervous laugh. “I did the opposite. I made Carl promise not to tell Alex about Kadie.”
“I know, Aspyn. I know.”
“Maybe I’ve been selfish. Maybe I’ve sacrificed good things for my daughter because I felt bad about something that was partially my fault.”
Mama reached over and cupped my cheek. “Oh, don’t think that way, honey. You’ve been doing great on your own. You’re renting a nice house, and you have a nice, stable job with good folks, your friends. Your daughter goes to sleep at night with f
ood in her belly, and she’s loved. That’s all any child really needs.” She dropped her hand. “You have to know you’ve done a great job with my granddaughter.”
I sniffled, and tears welled up in my eyes. “You don’t think I’m a bad mom?”
“Of course I don’t think you’re a bad mom. You’re just stubborn. That’s my blood in you.” She grinned. “It can be a good thing sometimes, but this time, not so much. There’s also no shame in accepting help, freely offered, and it’s not like a father shouldn’t provide for his child.”
“You know I was kind of jealous when I first drove up and saw he bought the McMillian’s place.” I wiped my tears with my sleeve. “I’ve always loved the house. At least the outside, but then Alex rolls into town and snatches it up, puts all his fancy stuff in it.”
Mama laughed. “Why do you think he even bought that house?”
I shrugged. “So he could live close to Carl and prove he was going to stay.”
“He could have stayed in that little tiny guest house of Carl’s then or even bought it. Come on, honey, he bought a big house for a family. It’s pretty obvious he bought it not just for Kadie but for you. He wants to share his life with you, but he’s got his demons. You know that, and he’s fighting through them. So he’s doing the only thing he knows how to do as a man, show you that he can provide.” Mama’s expression turned stern. “Are you really gonna punish a man for showing you he can provide? Yeah, it would be nice if he could be all sensitive and know all your feelings, but God made men and women different so they could both help each other out.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands. “Perri’s right.”
“Why? What did she say?”
“She said I was being stupid.”
Mama chortled. “Yeah, you have been being stupid.” I groaned, and she patted me on the head. “But all the best women do stupid things. It’s not the past that matters. It’s the future.”
“What if it’s too late?” I said quietly.
“Too late? You think a man comes back to town years later, buys a house, buys land, does everything he can to impress a woman like you and is ready to walk away because of a fight or two? He might have been gone for a while, but Alex Kline still knows you, Aspyn. It’s not too late.”