Onyx: Heart

by J. S. Lee

  “Thank you, hyungnim,” CX said, his honorifics returning.

  Sungmin acknowledged it with a brief nod, before looking at me. “Are you OK?”

  Honestly, I didn’t know how to answer that. There was so much going on and I didn’t know where to start processing it. I took the question at face value. “My wrist hurts, but I don’t think it’s broken.”

  제 13 장

  Feels So Good

  The police station was an interesting experience. I’d never needed to be in one before, and all I had as reference were episodes of ‘Law & Order’. I was expecting to be led into a dark interview room and questioned.

  Instead, an officer took my statement at the desk – after we’d waited for about an hour in a noisy waiting area. Given how busy it was, and how harassed he seemed, I wasn’t surprised with the brush off I got. He took my statement and information, and said he would look into it, but I got the impression it wasn’t high on his priority list after I told him I had fallen. The fact Damien had followed me from Las Vegas and hit me seemed to escape his notice.

  We’d waited a little longer for a Korean-speaking officer to become available for CX to give his statement. Thankfully, being in Koreatown, there were American-Korean officers in this precinct.

  It didn’t take long for CX to be finished either, and we left in silence. Outside, we sat down on a bench, waiting for the taxi to arrive to take us back to the penthouse. I’d messaged Sungmin to say we were on the way back to them. He responded quickly. “Sungmin said he told the others you witnessed a crime and I took you to the police station.”

  CX sat in silence, like he had since we had left Sungmin, watching the traffic. With a sigh, I slipped the phone into my pocket and turned my attention to my hand. Now that the earlier adrenaline was wearing off, it was hurting. So was my chin, for that matter. No doubt both would have a nasty bruise there in the morning.

  “You need to get that seen to,” CX muttered.

  I turned to him. “It’s not bleeding, and I washed it after the police officer had looked at it.” By looked at it, I mean, gave it a passing glance. “I’ll get a band aid on it when we get back to the others.” CX remained silent. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  “How does it work?”

  “To be honest, it probably won’t do much,” I shrugged. “It’s already scabbing over, but it-”

  “No, I mean you dating all the others.” He finally looked at me, his expression curious rather than angry. “Are you happy? Are they?”

  “Yes,” I said, then I frowned. “Well, I am. I don’t want to speak for the others, but I think one of them would speak up if they weren’t.”

  “My last group, Bright Boys, we were disbanded because of a scandal. I don’t think I can survive another one, Kate. That would be me done at Atlantis. That would be me done as an idol altogether.”

  “Nobody is going to force you to do anything you don’t want to,” I told him.

  “The problem is, I want to.” CX reached for my hand, my good hand, lacing his fingers through it, then leaned over and kissed me. My mind went blank as I kissed him back. There were unspoken words in the kiss, words echoing things he’d said previously.

  I pulled back. “It’s not just me.”

  “I know,” he said, his face still inches from mine.

  “Then we need to talk with them later.”

  CX nodded again.

  “And, I know you’re worried about a scandal. Trust me, I don’t want to get caught up in one of them either. But you probably shouldn’t be kissing me in broad daylight, in the middle of the street. Especially when you aren’t wearing a hat or a mask.” OK, so he would be struggling to kiss me if he was wearing a mask, and maybe here in L.A., that would make him stand out more, but he got the point.

  “I know,” he agreed, refusing to move back. “I just think that sometimes, actions speak louder than words.” He glanced at something past me, finally letting go of my hand as he stood up. “Taxi’s here.”

  Back at the high rise, we were greeted by Sungmin. “CX, you go up. I want to speak to Kate.” He waited for the maknae to disappear inside the apartment before turning his attention on me. “Is your ex going to be a problem?”

  My stomach churned, but I shrugged. “I reported it to the police and they’re going to look into it.”

  “This is two places that he has turned up at now,” Sungmin continued, folding his arms.

  I held my hands up. “I didn’t invite him. I didn’t even expect to run into him, and honestly, he broke up with me, so that’s the last reaction I expected from him,” I hurriedly tried to explain. “I’m not trying to cause trouble for Onyx, I swear.”

  Sungmin’s gaze dropped to my injured palm and he sighed. “I’m asking to make sure you’re going to be OK too. Las Vegas is your home and you’re likely to see him again when the tour finishes.”

  Now was probably not the time to announce I had no intention of returning to Vegas when I’d finished.

  “I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “He thinks I’ve gotten him fired and his intention was to come here and get me fired in return.”

  “Is there something I should be aware of?” he asked, an eyebrow arched.

  I considered the question. I wasn’t a perfect person, but I wasn’t a bad one. The one thing that would piss Sungmin off and probably get me fired was the fact I was dating half of Onyx, but Damien didn’t know about that. “You tell me,” I shrugged. “You’ve been working with me. Is there anything concerning you?”

  With the look he gave me, I almost regretted asking that. I’d just given him an invitation to bring up his suspicions about Youngbin and I.

  “We’re going to be wrapping up soon. The guys are going to change here, and then we’re going straight to the airport.”

  Huh… I wasn’t expecting that. But I was going to take it.

  I followed Sungmin inside. As far as I could tell, CX had slipped back into the group with little comment from anyone.

  I caught a few curious stares sent in my direction, but not wanting to distract them, I disappeared into the bathroom with a first aid kit and my makeup. There had been a lot of crying and I had caught my cringe-worthy reflection at several points throughout the day. After applying a giant band aid, then feeling slightly melodramatic at using a bandage to keep it in place, I fixed my makeup. I still looked like shit.

  Great.

  I popped some painkillers, then, looking a little more human (even though I didn’t completely feel like it), I returned to the main room. It was being cleared down, and Onyx were in the bedrooms, changing.

  From what I could tell, no one had told them what had happened. Given the current location, and the fact we were about to have a four-hour flight, I decided to wait until we were in Chicago. Jiwon and Youngbin had been pissed last time. I didn’t want to give them any opportunity to go AWOL on a ghost hunt. Damien wasn’t completely stupid. He was probably on his way back to Vegas now.

  I helped with the clean down, packing our things away. My camera had been put safely with my belongings and I felt a twinge of guilt as I packed it into my bag; I’d not done the job I was supposed to.

  By the time we were on the plane, I was exhausted. I’d used up all of my energy reserves with adrenaline, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully, it was a long enough flight to get a decent nap. We were served an evening meal shortly after takeoff, then I wrapped myself up in a blanket and fell asleep. I was sitting next to Sungmin and he made sure I wasn’t disturbed.

  Given the looks I was getting as we passed through the airport in Chicago, I knew something had gone down while I had been sleeping. No doubt CX had been explaining where he had been.

  Once again, it was late when we checked into the hotel. We had the show the following day, and then another night in Chicago. Apparently, they had arranged it for JongB so that he could see his family.

  Despite the hour, I took a shower. I felt a lot better for it afterwards, dressed in
my pajamas with a towel turban on my head. I flopped on my bed, ignoring the aches as I stretched out and flicked the television on. The phone I’d left charging on the small bedside table buzzed at me and I reached over. A dozen or more messages.

  I’d been added to a group with Youngbin, Xiao, Jiwon, and JongB and they were all asking how I was and what had happened. I sighed and started typing a response. With my hand in a fresh bandage, and feeling stiff, I’d resorted to using my other hand and my typing was slow. Part way through, another message came in, this one from CX.

  Can we talk?

  I responded with an affirmative, and then returned to the message with the others. Or I tried. Someone knocked at the door. I set the phone down, expecting it to be CX, and slid off the bed with a groan. I opened the door and found JongB there. “Hi,” I greeted him, uncertainly.

  JongB leaned forward, quickly kissed me, then leaned back out. “It’s clear.”

  I stuck my head out into the corridor and found Xiao with his head poking out of a room a few doors down. He left his room, Jiwon and Youngbin right behind him. I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling at that as I returned to my room, waiting for the others to follow.

  I was removing the turban when Xiao appeared from nowhere, taking the towel from my hands so he could gently rub at my hair.

  This was a new experience which wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

  “What the hell, Kate?” Youngbin demanded.

  “Hyung, we promised we wouldn’t yell,” JongB pointed out.

  “I don’t care. I’m pissed.”

  “I’m JongB, nice to meet you,” JongB returned. His hand clamped over his mouth. “It was automatic. I couldn’t help it.”

  I stepped away from Xiao with a sigh, turning to the group’s leader before he could explode at JongB. “Damien turned up. CX scared him off. I went to the police station and reported it,” I told him, calmly. “And I decided not to tell you until we arrived in Chicago, because this wasn’t really a conversation to be held at an airport.”

  “I’m going to murder him!”

  JongB moved behind me and then wrapped his arms around my waist. “Your hand is in a bandage.”

  I held my hand up and wiggled it about, ignoring how much it hurt. “It’s not broken. I just cut my hand when I fell.”

  “Did you hit your chin when you fell?” Jiwon asked.

  “Guys, I’m fine,” I deflected. There was something in Youngbin’s eyes which had me half-convinced he was going to catch a flight back to Vegas.

  “You are fine,” JongB agreed. I turned my head to peer over my shoulder at him. I could feel him shrug against me as he gave me a cheesy grin. “Am I wrong?”

  “I thought you were JongB?”

  JongB stepped back, his mouth falling open. “I… no. You are not allowed to out-dad joke me.”

  “Look,” I said, turning back to the others. “It happened in Los Angeles, and I’m here with you. Let’s just forget it.”

  “I can’t forget it.”

  I sucked in a deep breath and then walked over to Youngbin. “Maybe I want to.”

  “I have an idea!” JongB piped up. “Let’s watch a movie!”

  The four of us turned to look at him. “You know, for JongB, that’s not a bad suggestion,” Jiwon mused. “I’m down for that.” He didn’t even wait for anyone else to agree before he climbed on my bed, fluffing up the pillows and stretching out.

  “Why does that sound like an insult?” JongB demanded, his hands going to his hips.

  Jiwon shrugged. “Read it as you wish.”

  “It sounds like a good idea, but we’re never going to settle on a movie,” Xiao muttered. Despite his comments, he climbed on the bed beside Jiwon, looking expectantly at me.

  “I’m down,” I agreed. “I might fall asleep, but I’m down for this.”

  “Good, then bring your brush.”

  I arched an eyebrow, then glanced at myself in the mirror… “For fuck’s sake,” I grumbled. Simba was back.

  I turned to grab my brush, but Youngbin grabbed my hand, spinning me back to him. His hands encircled me, bringing me in for a kiss. “I’m down for that kind of movie!” I heard JongB say.

  It was promptly followed up with an ‘oomph’. “I am not watching porn with you,” Jiwon announced, dryly.

  I laughed against Youngbin, pulling away. “Thank you for worrying about me, but-”

  There was a knock at the door, and I swear everyone looked like they had seen a ghost. “Just be quiet,” I hissed, hurrying to the door. I looked through the peephole and let out a sigh of relief. “It’s CX,” I called before opening the door to let him in. “Hi,” I greeted him with a smile.

  “You didn’t message back. I waited until MinMin fell asleep,” he explained. “Am I OK to come in?”

  I stepped back and allowed him past me. CX walked down the short hallway into the room, and then froze.

  I made a judgement call. I walked up behind him, grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the bed where everyone was crowded. “CX is joining us,” I said, simply.

  Youngbin, Xiao, Jiwon, and JongB all shared a look with each other, then Youngbin pointed to a spot beside JongB. “Grab the space before JongB stretches out.”

  That was… remarkably easy. “You’re all happy with this?”

  “Are you happy with this?” Xiao asked.

  “Yes,” I said, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  “We’re trying to decide on what film to watch,” JongB told CX, when neither of us moved.

  “Yeah, except we’re not watching it here.”

  JongB cocked his head, looking at me like I was an alien. “What? Why?”

  “Because it’s easier to hide one of me than it is to hide the five of you,” I pointed out. “So, pick a room and let’s relocate to that one.”

  “Ours,” Jiwon said, shortly. “We’ll be able to find the bed.”

  I grinned. “Is JongB that messy?”

  “JongB?” Jiwon repeated. “He’s surprisingly tidy.”

  My eyes flew to Xiao, who just shrugged at me. I was not expecting that one.

  “Thanks,” JongB grumbled good-naturedly as he walked to the door. “I’m glad I know where I stand.”

  “By the door.”

  JongB slowly turned on the spot. “I’ve told you; you’re not allowed to be the punny one.”

  “Someone’s got to be,” Jiwon told him, pushing him out of my room.

  We left my room one at a time until it was just CX and me left in my room. I was still holding his hand. His eyes had been fixed on it while the others had filed out. “I never asked if you were OK with this,” I said. “I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

  CX’s eyes flicked up to meet mine. “I’d come with that intention.”

  “Shall we join the others then?”

  He paused, and then he let go of my hand so that he could place them on my cheeks, bringing his lips to mine. I melted into him, happy that we could do this. I really did like him.

  CX pulled away but kept his hands on my face. “Thank you for being there for me, yet again.”

  I started to tilt my head at him, but he hurried out of the room. I counted to ten, and then followed him. Jiwon had left the security catch on the door so it waited, open, for me. My hand hovered over the door handle as I sucked in a deep breath. This was quite possibly the most insane thing that I had ever done – ever would do. This was my life now; creeping around from room to room, making sure no one saw us…

  Would it be worth it?

  I walked in, finding them all stretched out on one bed, despite there being two in the room, a gap right in the middle waiting for me.

  Hell yes, this was worth it.

  I hopped in the gap, squealing when Xiao reached forward and pulled me between his legs. Jiwon’s hand shot out, clamping down over my mouth. “Sungmin is next door,” he warned me as he removed his hand.

  I mimed zipping my lips closed. When Xiao brought a brush to my hair, mom
ents later, I managed to refrain from jumping.

  While Xiao brushed then braided my hair, CX curled up in my lap, we settled down to watch the movie. Or rather, we settled down to argue over what movie we were watching for twenty-minutes. In the end, someone (I lost track), decided on the latest Marvel movie.

  I didn’t care. I think the only superhero I’d ever watched was Deadpool. I wasn’t a superhero movie fan. I was barely watching it. Instead, my attention kept sweeping over the guys surrounding me. Just dating one of them made me lucky.

  This?

  I was a relatively happy and chilled person. No, I was very chilled. Hell, Holly had told me so many times before that I really needed to focus and get serious at college. We were the opposite in that respect. She panicked easily, over-thinking things and making them bigger than she needed to. She’d do a lot better if she said what she was feeling more often. People weren’t psychic.

  Me on the other hand, suffered from foot-in-mouth disease frequently, but equally, would be able to step back from a situation and see the logic – all while lying down.

  I had thought I was happy, and I suppose I was… mostly… if you ignored the later years with Damien when I was too chilled to see there was anything wrong…

  This was me happy.

  Content.

  I was full of warm and fuzzy feelings that would even have Cupid running off with his stupid bow because of how corny and cliched I felt.

  Holy shit, I was in love.

  My fingers stopped playing with CX’s hair. He shifted and looked back at me. “What’s the matter?”

  “I love you,” I blurted out.

  And look, there was that foot-in-mouth disease flaring up. It was like herpes; lying low until the most inopportune moment.

  “All of you,” I clarified. “Although I appreciate this is probably not the most romantic setting to be telling you this, what with Batman barking orders.”