The Unhandsome Prince

by Moore, John

  “Ah, Princess,” said Kenny, with just the slightest sarcastic inflection. “And your own rise to the ranks of royalty was purely the result of unselfish altruism, as I understand it.”

  “Different context,” said Caroline, shortly. She noted with satisfaction that a handful of Jeff’s officers kept Kenny under constant watch. He was going to leave Melinower and he wasn’t going to cause any trouble before he left. She switched her attention to the dwarf. “Congratulations on being voted leader of the Cabinet-makers’ Guild.”

  “Thank you, Your Highness.”

  “Sir Rumpelstiltskin, are you wearing a—is that a yarmulke?”

  “Keeping the head covered is a tradition among my people, Princess.”

  “Right.” Caroline moved on. She found Rapunzel chatting with Queen Helen. The girl’s hair floated about her head in a cloud of golden ringlets.

  “. . . so I just trim the ends to keep it short but symmetrical. Then a hot curling iron produces the curls and also adds depth.”

  “Lovely, lovely,” murmured the Queen, looking around a bit desperately. “Oh, Caroline. You know Lady Rapunzel, don’t you? So nice to meet you. Excuse me, I must attend to my husband.”

  Caroline let her escape. “I love your ring,” she told Rapunzel.

  “Oh, thank you. You don’t mind if I keep the glass one, do you? It makes such a wonderful memento, being a gift from Prince Hal and all.”

  “Be my guest. Have you seen Emily?”

  “Why, yes.” Rapunzel looked around. “I just saw her a few minutes ago. Over there, by the door.”

  Caroline made her way through the crowd, smiling and greeting everyone she passed, but getting to Emily eventually. The younger girl was dressed in full formal sorceress attire, including—yes—the midnight blue pointed hat with the star and crescent moon. Caroline hadn’t seen her in several weeks. She did not look happy.

  “How is the sorcery business?”

  “Just fine. I’m learning a lot.”

  “Getting along with Bungee all right?”

  “Oh yes. He’s around here now. He has a knack for working a crowd.”

  “Hal is out of bed, you know.”

  “I know. I saw him stand up for Jeff at the ceremony.”

  “I think you should go to him.”

  Emily looked stricken. “Caroline, how can I see him again? After I was so mean to him that night at the tower? I don’t know what got into me. He almost died right outside the door, and I just ignored him.”

  “He wanted you to.”

  “He must hate me for thinking so little of him.”

  “Don’t be silly. Hal doesn’t hate anyone.”

  “I should have trusted him more. I know I hurt his feelings.”

  “Nonsense. Boys don’t have feelings. Go and see him.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You have to. He has something important to tell you.” Caroline took her arm and guided her toward the stairs.

  “What?”

  “He’ll tell you. Now go.”

  Emily made her way up the stairs and through the hallways, which now had a familiar, nostalgic feel to them. Although it was only a fortnight since she had left the palace, it was like returning to her old school. She found Hal’s suite and knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Feeling certain she knew where he was, she went through the door at the end of the hall, out onto the terrace, and around the corner. The prince was there, leaning on the terrace wall, looking out across the harbor.

  He was wearing the uniform of a naval lieutenant. He looked thinner than before, and the new clothes hung on him even more loosely than his old ones, but there was color to his skin again. His hair was longer and came over his ears, so they didn’t seem to stick out quite so much. His face had cleared up somewhat, and he had the beginnings of a beard, which would soon cover his receding chin.

  She approached him hesitantly. He wasn’t looking in her direction, but he apparently knew she was there, for he suddenly turned and smiled. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” said Emily, and then, “Your beard looks nice.”

  “Thanks. It was Caroline’s idea, actually.”

  “Your hair looks nice, too.”

  “Thanks. Rapunzel gave me some stuff to wash it with. She said it would give it more body.”

  “Yes. Well, it looks nice.” Emily found herself at a loss for words. Hal seemed to be waiting for her to say more, and she furiously wracked her brain for conversation, but nothing came forth. She looked away.

  When she looked back Hal was holding his arm out. Automatically she linked her arm in his, so that he could pull her close to him. “I missed you,” he said.

  “I’ve . . . I’ve been busy. I had to move, and send for my books, and . . . oh Hal, I’m so sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For the way I treated you at the tower. For thinking that you were really going to rape that girl.”

  “Forget it. It was a bluff. You were supposed to think that.”

  “Caroline didn’t think so. She stood up for you, and I should have, too. And she helped you when you were hurt, and I didn’t realize—”

  “You weren’t supposed to realize it. Caroline just has a way about her, I guess. Anyway, it all worked out for the best.”

  “Your family is out of debt?”

  “Not quite. But we’re in better shape now. And with Jeff holding the purse strings, we’re not heading for bankruptcy. And there won’t be any expulsions, at least not while Jeff is king. Kenny is banished to Losshire right after the coronation, and stays there. Of course, he is still planning on collecting a hefty dowry. But now he gets to keep it for himself, instead of turning it over to Dad.”

  “Good for him, I guess. I have to say I won’t miss him.”

  “He doesn’t have much choice. Melinower tradition. Other contenders for the throne have to leave Melinower while the new king consolidates his power. Kenny won’t be allowed back. At least now he gets his own tax base.”

  “It seems so unfair, Hal. Everybody who was involved with the spinning wheel came out ahead except you. I got a really good apprenticeship, Caroline became a princess, Jeff will get the crown, Rapunzel and Rumpelstiltskin got a hefty split of the gold—what did you get out of this?”

  “I got to avoid being turned back into a frog.”

  “Oh. Well, there’s that, of course. At least you’re not being exiled along with Kenny.”

  Hal hesitated. He hesitated just a little too long.

  “Hal! You’re not being exiled also?”

  Hal reached into his jacket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. He spread it open and showed it to Emily. “It’s from the Royal Navy. I’ve been promoted and recalled to active duty. It’s a voyage to explore and map the south end of our possessions.”

  “Hal, that’s awful. How could Jeff do this to you? You put him on the throne, you wouldn’t try to usurp it. This is so unfair.”

  “Hmm.” Hal pulled another letter from his pocket. “By the most amazing coincidence, this arrived with the orders.” He gave it to her.

  Emily unfolded it. “It’s part of my apprenticeship contract. But who would send you this? And why?”

  Hal seemed to be phrasing his words very carefully. “You signed your contract on September 4. Here’s the date. And you have two years to run on your apprenticeship. And if you look at my transfer papers, the ship is scheduled to return to Melinower—”

  “On the exact same day.” A brilliant light dawned on Emily. “Caroline! This was all her idea! She knows I can’t do anything with a boy until my apprenticeship is over. Now she’s trying to keep you away from girls for the same time.”

  “It does seem to work out that way.” Hal turned his head back toward the harbor, but he was watching Emily from the corners of his eyes. “Um, is that a problem for you?”

  “It makes me so mad. That Caroline! She’s always been like that, bossing people around, making sure she gets her own way. Where does she get off,
thinking she can run my life? Well, princess or not, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!”

  And as if on cue, a window popped open above them. A familiar blond head popped out and yelled, “Emily!”

  “What?” Emily snapped back.

  “Just kiss him already.”

  “Go away!”

  The blond head withdrew, and the window slammed shut. Emily whirled away. She found herself pressed up against Hal. His arms folded around her, and she turned her face up to his, only inches away. “Actually,” he said, “I think that’s a pretty good idea.”

  “I . . . I have to be careful. There’s magic in a kiss, you know.”

  “I know,” said Hal, and kissed her anyway.

  Definitely magical, Emily decided.