Neighborly Intentions

by Falon Gold

  Her mouth lifted in a one-sided smile. “I’m fine, Bo. Much better than I was.”

  “Damn straight she’s fine!” I piped in. “Will always be as long as I’m around.”

  Bo issued a curt ‘Good’, then all was quiet again at the door. Her eyes fell back on me, and I’d be damned if they weren’t blazing with that same fire that sucked me in at the party. She had no idea what that look did that to me, and now was not the time to tell her. I’d never see it again. A man had to have something to keep him company in the friend zone.

  Chapter Ten

  ~Anna~

  “I guess we should let Bo do his job,” I suggested only because it was the right thing to do.

  I didn’t want to move from this spot ever, not while my addiction was in the room too and especially after he had explained away everything that had stung my soul while we at his house. I got that he was shocked to see me there. Hell, I was shocked to see him there.

  Now, we were going to have to get used to seeing each other every day, and I knew that I would. I had no other choice, but I didn’t know how long it would take to get used to seeing him every day. If there was a God in heaven, I wouldn’t be privy to the women coming in and out of his house because I’d probably try to cut a bitch. Roland was too damn handsome to spend his nights alone.

  It occurred to me that I could be the one he spent his nights with if I found ways to be an asset in his life, and not just the ass I usually was all the time. Hmmm… how to get my mental shit together? That was a question for Kay.

  “Do you want me to help Bo?” Roland inquired while getting to his feet.

  Hell no, I don’t want you helping anybody but yourself inside me, you sexy bastard. A month ago, I wouldn’t have just thought that but said it too just to get a reaction out of him and because I didn’t care how anyone took what I said. Today, I kept my mouth shut like a good girl and ogled the muscle play in his movements. Lord, they were mind-boggling and panty-dropping-stimulating. If I had on panties. Of course, I didn’t. Unnecessary panty lines were a crime in my opinion.

  When he just stood there, watching me with a smirk on his gorgeous mouth, I recalled he had asked a question before my mind descended into the gutter. Yeah, I probably needed to get it out of there if I wanted to have a decent conversation with the man. So, I put my eyes back on his face. That didn’t help me much. His face was gutter-thoughts provoking too.

  “Aren’t you getting help yourself with cutting your grass?” With Roland in touching-distance, I was surprised I even remembered half the reason why Kay and Hayden were over here.

  He uttered under his breath, “Damn, I had forgotten about that.”

  I had forgotten a lot of things like Bo needed the room and that Roland was too damn good for me. When this close to him, I just wanted him now no matter what being with me would do to his world later. We needed to get out of this room together before old-Anna showed up and lowered Roland to his back to fuck him senseless. He’d let me because he was a man who obviously liked me if he said I’d always be okay when he was around. He had no idea that ‘around’ was the least of the ways I wanted him. Get up, Anna, before you doing something aggressive.

  I got up. “Go cut your grass. There’s not much to move in here, or much to do here afterwards since I don’t have a lot of stuff thank God, and I’ll see you around, Roland.” That was a promise.

  I’d become good enough for him and the Jesters but most importantly, for me even if it killed me and whoever got in my way of bettering myself, and it was time. It was what I had always wanted. What more motivation did I need to get better as a person because it was what I wanted? In the long run, maybe I gained this good man who had come to whoop someone’s ass because he thought someone had done something to me. He had done something to me alright.

  Roland cocked his head as he does when something weighed on him. “So, no more avoiding me or running from me?” The fact that he was even worried that was hilarious and endearing as hell since evidently, he wanted me in his world in some capacity. I could live with that.

  “We live next door to each other, Roland. Where the hell am I going to hide at? A closet? Squeeze myself in a cabinet?”

  He’d be surprised to learn that the whole time I tried to avoid him, I never really got away from him, carrying him in my head wherever I went along with everything else that I couldn’t let go of. It was time to let go of some of the things that weighed me down too.

  He got that ‘thinking’ look that looked the same no matter who wore it. “I’d like to see you squeeze yourself in a cabinet.”

  “You should’ve known me as a kid then. I did that more often than I care to admit when my mother and her crack buddies were getting high… and you probably didn’t want to know that.” Willingly mentioning a part of my upbringing was shocking and new to me. I didn’t even talk to Kay that often about my childhood, but Roland… God, the man was true truth serum. Or, I wanted him to know me through and through. Could I want that? Why would I? It wasn’t pretty.

  “Anna,” he snarled, stepping forward until we were toe to toe, like he was about to confront me on something. “There isn’t a damn thing about you that I don’t want to know.”

  The seriousness in his tone was intense and scrambling my gray matter so much that I stuttered, “There-there isn’t?” I couldn’t doubt his sincerity even if I wanted to. It was right there for me to hear, to believe. To believe in him.

  “No!” he spat like I had offended him for even questioning his statement, and now, I knew what his furious face looked like. It would be adorable if he was ticked off with someone else. “Anna, you may not see yourself as someone worthy of knowing but I do, and before it’s all said and done for me and you as neighbors, you will think you’re worthy too and you won’t think it’s so bad for me to know you completely.”

  Jesus, did I wear my thoughts on my damn face? Or, he just saw too damn much.

  “I’ve already decided to work on me for me.” For you, Roland. For Kay. For anyone else in my future, which suddenly seemed bright and had a lot of possibilities… like children.

  “Good,” he declared adamantly. “When you need to talk, come to me or call me. We’ll talk about what you want for as long as you need and it stays between us. If you need something, anything, come to me or call me. Got it.”

  I nodded dumbly, didn’t know what else to do, and didn’t think he’d accept anything else but my agreement when he was bullying me in the best of ways… and pretty much punking me. I didn’t even put up a fight with his demands or whip out my blade for him daring to step to me.

  Yeah, well, that was probably because he was giving me what I wanted so badly; to be apart of his world in some way without it affecting him in a bad way. He was asking for nothing in return but for me to be okay with myself. Where had this man been all my life?

  He grinned. “Where’s your phone?”

  The subject change threw me for a loop. I gave him the ‘did you just grow another head’ stare.

  “You can’t call me without my number,” he explained.

  “Oh right.” I reached in my back pocket and gave him my phone.

  While he dialed out, I stared. Just being in his presence was calming. Nothing in the world bothered me. He was so damn big I don’t think any in the world could get to me. His shorts began to ring. He had called himself and reached down to retrieve his phone.

  Following his movements, I glanced down and got a bird eye’s view of his hard-on testing the material of his shorts. Nope, he didn’t have on panties either … I meant underwear. If he didn’t wear either panties or underwear, well, then he was my kind of guy.

  Something moved in my side-eye. Whatever it was couldn’t drag my attention away from his groin that was growing, trying to get out of his waistband. My mouth watered, indicating I had unfinished business with that part of him.

  “Anna,” he beckoned softly.

  His voice succeeded in make me drag my head up to make
eye contact. He was grinning arrogantly. It was that grin that made me take him on Kay’s deck in the first place, and I would take him on the floor if he didn’t stop. He waved my phone beside my head. So, that was what had been moving in the background.

  I took it for him, unintentionally collapsing my fingers around his. When he didn’t pull his away, my blood heated. His thumb swam from under mine to work lazy circles on the webbing between my thumb and index finger. Goosebumps broke out on my body. Arousal slammed into my core.

  I glanced up at him, silently asking if he knew what he was about to get himself into and wouldn’t be getting out of until I let him, which would me. He was definitely up for what I wanted to do with him, to him, and I could be aggressive with the best of them, but I didn’t want him to learn that the hard way. Kay had told me a thousand times that aggression wasn’t cute. Right now, I didn’t give a damn what was cute. Shit, the old-Anna was rearing her head. Why did that side of me have to come back now that I wanted to get rid of it for good?

  “Roland,” I warned quietly.

  “What?”

  “I’m trying to be good. If you don’t leave this room, all bets are off.” Yep, the old Anna was definitely in play, and she had lousy timing like Hayden did.

  Roland’s eyebrow lifted, but the smug grin stayed. Yep, he knew what was about to happen to him alright. “Did you think I’m afraid of you, Anna?” With his size, he probably wasn’t afraid of much of anything, least of all me.

  “No, I don’t, but you should be afraid. I’ve been accused of being a man eater a thousand times for a reason. You’ll become my next victim, and you won’t regret it.” I winced at my own brutal truth. Well, just put all your bad habits out there, Anna, and run the man off before he sees you as someone he could be with for the rest of his life, why don’t you? As I had said, my mouth was a detriment to me.

  He bent at the waist to get face to face. “Bring it on.” Stupid man. Challenge accepted.

  With my free hand, I palmed his nape to keep him still as I smashed my mouth against his. He groaned. I moaned. Our mouths opened in sync. When our tongues clashed, I lost track of time. Nothing existed outside of his kiss. Then, my backside was hitting up against a solid object. What the…

  I wanted to know where the hell I was immediately because in my life, you didn’t ever not know where you were, what you were doing, and who you were around. That could cost you your life. I yanked my mouth off his and opened my eyes, not sure when I closed them or who was being more aggressive. Him or me?

  We were still in the bedroom but certainly not where we started kissing, which was where my phone was laying on the floor a foot away. My back was to the wall beside the nightstand, but my feet weren’t on the ground any longer. At some point, I had climbed the man like a tree, knotted my legs around his waist, and buried my hands in his hair.

  When had we moved?, I wondered about that until Roland started placing soft pecks near my ear then sucking hard on my neck, sending ripples through my center. My head clouded up again. The world shrunk to just him again, and for once, I didn’t care that I wasn’t completely alert. I trusted him to keep my safe. Watch my back. Take care of me. Instinctively, I knew he would, so I let go and stole his mouth again to ravish it.

  He rocked into me. When his erection grazed my clitoris, I nearly cried from the bliss crashing through my core. That feeling was worth repeating, so I rocked back against him. A knock discharged at the door. Reality came crashing in. I groaned. We still had shit to do. I hated that life couldn’t just stop sometimes.

  Roland nipped at my bottom lip. “That’s our cue, Anna, but this is not over.”

  I gazed at him. “You’re damn right it’s not over. Tonight, my place. I’ll have my bed up by then.”

  His throat worked as he swallowed deeply. Then, he set me down on my feet before reversing away, stopping where my phone laid on the floor. He picked it up. Why had he backed off when I mentioned sleeping together? The mood took a dip down to awkward. Did I say something wrong? I thought it was what he wanted to hear. I guessed not, and this was hella embarrassing.

  I smoothed my crop top over my stomach to give my trembling hands something to do while eyeballing the floor. “Okay, you don’t have to come over tonight, but we should go.”

  “Anna?”

  I smoothed out my shorts next, unable to look at him. “It’s fine, Roland.” I didn’t want to talk anymore, or be around him until I was mortified about my aggressive assumptions. I should’ve listened to Kay.

  “Look at me,” he snarled, his angry tone making my head snap up. “I backed away because I’m not going to be another meaningless, shallow fuck for you. I can’t think when I’m that close to you, can only think about fucking you. I need you to know that if you want me as more than that then fine, we find our way together into a real relationship that you’re comfortable with and I’ll come over tonight. But, if you don’t want me as more than a quick lay, tell me the truth.” He was mistaking my intentions again, and that pissed me off.

  “You were never a shallow fuck for me, Roland. Don’t you think that’s what I tried to turn you into this past month? Do you think I want to trust you with my safety and just let go around you? Do. You. Think that I want to fall in love with you? It’s too damn easy to do, and that makes it too easy for you to get close enough to hurt me. You make everything I don’t normally do too easy to do. That’s why I tried so hard to put you in a box with everyone else that I throw away. I tried so hard to get you out of my head for the last month. It didn’t work, so I’m going to work even harder to be good enough for everyone that means something to me so they won’t hurt me. That includes you, dammit!”

  His face filled with compassion, and he was right back in my personal space, caressing my cheek before I could take a breath after my rant.

  “Anna, you’re good enough simply because you want to be better. Everything you’ve gone through and trying to do makes you the best person to have anything good in life. You know what not to do with it even if you don’t know what to do with it, but you won’t hurt it, or you would have already. People who don’t give a shit about anything don’t worry about what happens after they have something in their grasp. You worry so damn much you’ve isolated yourself. I wished you could see you like I do, how Kay sees you, and yes, you damn well better fall in love with me because I’m falling in love with you who is so damn special to me and Kay it’s ridiculous.”

  I wanted to believe everything he said, but how do you change what you’ve believed all your life in a split second? Wait. Did he say…

  Yes, he said he had fallen in love with me too, and I couldn’t breathe suddenly. Woman like me didn’t get the prince, we got the frog, and he deserved to know that I was a frog as well. Not the princess. I came from bad stock.

  “I can’t be sure of what I’ll do with anything good, Roland. I have my mother’s blood after all. She turned on me so much I stopped trusting people, so I need a little time to know for sure that I won’t turn out like her, a failure at everything but the wrong things.”

  “You have her blood but not her mind, sweetheart. Her choices, footsteps, and path in life are not yours. You get to decide how you’ll turn out. You already have, and if she’s anything like I imagine she is, you’ve already proven that you’re better than her. You just need to believe it and I said I wouldn’t preach to you about your insecurities, but I hate when you put yourself down for someone else’s mistakes. Give your mother back her mistakes and make your own.”

  He sounded so convinced and so convincing that I almost believed that I was ready for anything. Ready for him and a life with him.

  I sure as hell wanted to be ready, but there was a problem. “I’m afraid to make mistakes. Someone else’s mistakes nearly cost me my life as a child, Roland. I can’t do that to my children.”

  “And you won’t. And I’ll prove it.”

  He kissed me before I could ask how he’d prove it when I couldn’t, but th
e details didn’t matter when his was ravaging my mouth. Then, someone was knocking at the door again. Arrrghh! Tonight couldn’t come fast enough. It would come faster if we handled our business already and got everyone out of here.

  I winded the kiss down, tipping my nose against Roland’s. “Let’s go get everything done, so the interruptions will stop. I’m sure Bo is ready to go home, and I need to pick up my car. Meet me here at nine. I should have washed the day away by the time you get here.”

  “Um, no, I want to bathe with you.”

  “Okay, but that’s going to be a first for me, so be surprised if I manage to drown one of us.” I had a pretty big tub, and I didn’t even think about saying no to him. Pushover. But, I didn’t seem to mind being that for him. Only him. What else would I do for him? What would I do because of him?

  “You’ve never bathed with a man before?”

  “No. You’re turning into a lot of firsts for me. The kinds of firsts most people have already accomplished in their late teens.”

  There goes that smug grin again. “I won’t lie and say I haven’t bathed with a woman or been in love, Anna, but if I have my way, you’ll be my last in everything.” God, this man had a way with words.

  “I think I like being the last in everything for you better, Roland… besides, one of us needs to have some experience in this relationship.” Oh God, I was a part of a relationship now. Don’t let me hurt him. Amen.

  “I’ll be glad to guide you, Anna.”

  “I’ll be glad to follow. The backside of you is pretty damn spectacular, but if we stand here any longer and you keep smiling like that, you’re going to follow me down to the floor… but you’ll be on the bottom.”

  Chuckles erupted from him. “Let’s go, sweetheart. We’ll christen the floor later.”

  Oh yes, we will.

  Chapter Eleven

  ~Roland~

  Anna and I exited the room hand in hand. I didn’t think I’d ever have the simple pleasure of twining my fingers with hers. When I woke up today, I was still wondering how to reach out to her. What a difference a day makes.