When We Fell

by Elena Aitken

She laughed and looked him straight in the eyes. “And why are you so impressed?”

  “Do you think you would have been so chill about the delays ten months ago? Hell, even six months ago.”

  “Things were different then.” She wiggled so her body was pressed up closer to his. “I’m different.”

  Logan pressed his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. “You’re incredible.”

  She smiled, feeling the love from him travel throughout her body. Things were different. So much so. Not only had she left her high-powered, high-stressed career behind in San Francisco, she’d traded it in for a soul-satisfying career with the man of her dreams and most importantly, a life free from an addiction that had claimed her for too long. “I love you,” she said in response, and kissed him back because there was nothing else she would rather do.

  Their kiss was interrupted by the chirping of Amber’s cell phone and because they were both always expecting a business call or message of some sort, reluctantly, she slipped her phone from her back pocket to check it.

  “It’s Cam,” she told Logan. “She wants to know if we’re going to be at the Log and Jam tomorrow night. Do you know anything about that?”

  Logan nodded. “I forgot to tell you.” He shrugged. “Evan called me last night and told me that Ben was having some sort of grand opening for his new fancy patio space. I think Timber Heart is supposed to play and he was looking for a head count so they could reserve us some tables up front.”

  “You said yes, right?”

  Logan slipped his arm around her again and nuzzled her neck before whispering in her ear. “I told him I’d have to check with you. I know it’s been a busy week.” He pulled back to look in her eyes. “I didn’t want to assume that you’d be good with going out after so much crazy.”

  She loved the way he looked after her, thinking about her needs before she even had a chance to. It was sweet and not at all something Amber was used to. She’d been on her own for so long that sometimes it still took her off guard to realize that there was someone else in her life who loved her as much as he did. “That’s sweet,” she said. “And you’re right, it has been a crazy week. But I think it’ll be fun and a good way to relax, too.”

  “I agree. It’s been awhile since we’ve all been together anyway.” He grinned. “Tell her yes, to count us in.”

  Amber looked up from her phone and winked. “Already done.”

  Chapter Six

  It only took Ben about five minutes to realize he had completely underestimated how much work it was to plant as many flower pots as he had, and he still hadn’t actually put anything into the dirt yet. He stepped back from the flats of plants that covered the patio, put his hands on his hips and shook his head, trying to remember what exactly Calla had said about shade plants versus sun-loving ones. Was that one with the broad green leaves a shade plant or a sun plant?

  “No,” he said to himself as he stepped toward it. “That’s the one that goes in the shade.” He moved over to another flat of plants, these ones with smaller leaves, and white flowers. “These ones like sun.”

  “You’re right.”

  Ben jumped back at the sound of the voice. He straightened up and turned to see Calla on the patio next to him.

  “Sorry to scare you.” She walked over to the plants. “But you’re right. These ones are for full sun.” She picked one up and held it. “Am I late? We said eight, right?”

  Ben nodded. “We did. I’m usually here early and I thought I might as well get a jump start on this since there seems to be a never-ending supply of flowers here.” It was true, but he left out the part about how he was hoping to prove something to himself by getting some of it done before she got there.

  “Well, it doesn’t look like you’ve made a ton of progress yet.” She surveyed the space. “You have a great-looking patio here, Ben. This is going to be awesome.”

  “Thank you.” He beamed with pride and watched her for a moment. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail and dressed simply in jeans and a black t-shirt, she looked much younger than she had the day before at the store. He judged her to be somewhere in her twenties, not that he was any good at all at guessing such things. She was cute and when she smiled, her entire face lit up. “I have big plans for it.” He refocused his attention on the pile of plants and bags of soil in front of him. “If we can ever get all of these in the pots.”

  She laughed and grabbed a pair of work gloves from her back pocket. “I promise, this won’t take very long and it’s going to look amazing. Trust me.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing.” He chuckled and hefted a bag of soil up into his arms. “I don’t think I’ve actually grown anything before. At least, nothing that’s survived.”

  “Well, that doesn’t sound like a great track record.” She winked. “But I promise you, after a little bit of time with me, I’ll change all that. In fact, once you know some basics.” She pointed to the bag he was holding. “Like, for example, that bag there is manure and needs to be mixed with those bags over there in equal parts so the plants get appropriate nutrients.”

  “Manure?” He tried to read the writing on the bag he was holding. “See?” he said after a moment. “It’s a good thing you’re here.”

  Calla took charge of the situation right away and with her instruction, Ben was mixing soil with manure and peat into all of the planters on the patio, while she moved around with surprising speed, putting plants and flowers into piles. When the sorting was all done, they worked together to plant everything using the sketches and plans that Calla created.

  More than once, Ben found himself thankful for Calla and all her help. There was no way he’d be able to achieve what she was doing, let alone as fast as she was doing it. She moved with a confidence that was impressive and with good reason: she was excellent at what she did. The arrangements she created were gorgeous and even though he knew he wouldn’t remember anything in a day’s time, she patiently explained what each plant was called and how tall it would grow or what color of flowers he could expect from it.

  What took the two of them just under two hours to accomplish would have taken him at least an entire day, and there was no way it would come out looking as amazing as it did. When they finished, Ben took a step back and dusted his hands together.

  “Wow.” He surveyed the patio, now complete. “This looks amazing, Calla. I can’t thank you enough.”

  “It does look pretty damn good, doesn’t it?” She crossed her arms and grinned. “Wow. Even I’m impressed, and I planned it.”

  Ben laughed. “Come on, I think we deserve a cold glass of lemonade, don’t you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  The pub was still closed for another hour, but Michael was in the kitchen, cooking up something that smelled mouthwatering. He barely looked up from the stove as Ben walked through the kitchen and grabbed some freshly squeezed lemonade from the fridge. “Smells good, Michael.”

  All Ben got was a grunt in return, which meant Michael was probably not satisfied with his current creation for some reason that was most likely completely unfounded. He chuckled at his friend and employee’s perfectionism and returned to the bar, where Calla was waiting.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh, just that my master chef back there is probably trying to talk himself out of throwing out the lunch special he’s just created.” He poured the lemonade and handed Calla a glass.

  “What? But it smells delicious.”

  “I know.” Ben shook his head. “That’s just how Michael is. Don’t worry, he won’t throw it out—I won’t let him.” He grinned and took a deep drink of the cold liquid. “And it will be delicious. It always is. He’s the best chef around. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

  She smiled and crossed her legs, spinning on the stool so she faced him. “From what I hear, it’s because you’re pretty awesome to work with.”

  “Oh yeah?” Ben leaned over the bar, so he was looking directly into her bright-
green eyes. “You’ve heard about me, have you?”

  He was flirting with her, and to his surprise, it didn’t feel awkward or strange. Well, not too strange.

  “Enough.” She winked and turned her attention to her drink. “I should probably get going. I have to open the store soon. But this has been fun.”

  “I can’t thank you enough.” Ben walked Calla through the pub to the heavy wooden doors. “The patio grand opening is tomorrow night—you have to come. I can reserve you a seat, or…two?”

  She smiled. “Just one. And yes, I’d love to come.”

  “Well, I don’t know why you were going through Eric’s things. Why not just pack them up?” Laura Frederick, Drew’s mom, clicked her tongue the way she always did when she didn’t agree with something Drew was doing, or saying, or about to do, or pretty much anything when it came to Drew. She meant well, and she’d been amazing with Austin in the months since Eric had died, but it didn’t make their mother-daughter relationship any easier to navigate on a daily basis.

  “Mom.” Drew tried not to sigh. “Eric’s gone. I’m his wife. Or, I…” It still didn’t feel right saying that she used to be Eric’s wife, and she hated the word widow. It reminded her of an eighty-year-old with blue hair. “At any rate,” she continued. “I have every right to go through his things and besides that, I need to organize things and…”

  “And what?” Her mother stared at her over the edge of her coffee mug from the other side of the kitchen. “What’s going on, Drew? Are you…well, are you doing okay?”

  Drew sagged a little under her mother’s concern. Because despite the hard time her mom gave her, she loved her fiercely and had always wanted the best for her. Drew had never doubted that for a moment. It was just the way Laura showed her love. No matter how frustrating it could be.

  “You know what?” Drew straightened her shoulders. “I am doing okay. I mean, there’s definitely room for improvement, but I think getting settled was the right thing.”

  “I agree.” Her mom put down her cup with authority. “In fact, I for one am thrilled to see you a little more settled and I assume that means you’re staying in Timber Creek for a while.”

  Her mother had done a good job avoiding asking the question outright, something that Drew recognized must have been a feat of intense willpower.

  Drew turned to the sink and rinsed out her cup to keep her mother from seeing her grin. “I think Timber Creek is the right place for us, and I’ve been thinking about a few different things I’d like to do for work.”

  “Work?” Behind her, Laura sputtered and coughed. “You’re not going to work right now, are you?”

  Drew crossed the floor with a glass of water and put it in front of her mom. “I was thinking—”

  “It’s way too early to go back to work, Drew. Didn’t Eric leave you with a comfortable life insurance settlement? You need to take care of yourself and that sweet boy of yours. You have no business going back to work. Not yet. Not until the grieving period is over.”

  Drew bit her bottom lip, but she couldn’t continue to keep quiet. Not if she planned to maintain her sanity. And she did. “Mom?” She slipped into the seat across from her mother. “You know that there is no set grieving period, right? I mean, everyone grieves differently. You can’t put a timeline on these things.”

  Laura, the cup of water to her mouth, shook her head. “No,” she said with complete certainty. “That’s not true. When Doris lost her husband, she grieved for two solid years. She wouldn’t even take company for a solid six months. Family only. And it wasn’t until—”

  “I’m not Doris.”

  “No.” Laura pursed her lips. “You most certainly are not.”

  “And everyone grieves in different ways, Mom.” The conversation exhausted her, and made her sad all over again. But more than anything, Drew wanted—no, needed—her mother to understand that just because she was ready to move on with her life in certain ways did not mean that she didn’t miss Eric every single moment of every single day. It didn’t mean that there still weren’t days when it hurt simply to breathe knowing that Eric no longer could. How could she possibly explain to her mother that just because she wasn’t wearing black and hiding in her room that didn’t mean that she wasn’t hurting deeply? Very deeply.

  But more than that, that she was ready to start living again.

  “Maybe so, Drew. But…”

  There was that tongue clucking again. Drew swallowed hard and pushed up from the table, unable to sit across from her any longer.

  “There are no buts, Mom. I’m just trying to do the best thing for Austin and myself. And right now, that’s settling in and moving on. That doesn’t mean we’re forgetting Eric. Not even a little.” She didn’t often raise her voice at her mother, but when she did, it got attention.

  Laura sat back in her chair, her mouth open. “Drew, I wasn’t—”

  “It doesn’t matter.” She held up a hand to ward off her mother’s explanations and picked up the notebook that had started the whole discussion in the first place. “The point is, Eric made a list of things he obviously wanted to share with Austin. Things that were important to him once. Things he shared with Ben.”

  Her mom raised her eyebrows at the mention of Ben. It was a conversation she wasn’t about to have with her mom, who thought Ben spent entirely too much time with her and Austin. She’d tried numerous times to try to explain to her mother how amazing Ben had been both while Eric was alive in those last few months and especially now. And how special it was that Austin had Ben in his life. There was just no real way for Drew to convey how much Ben’s presence had meant to her. So she didn’t bother trying.

  “And you said Ben wanted to do those things with Austin?”

  Drew nodded.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  “I think it’s a great idea.” Drew didn’t hesitate.

  “Ben isn’t Austin’s father, Drew.”

  “Oh my God, Mom!” Drew dropped the notebook on the kitchen counter and pulled her hair back from her face before letting it drop again. “I know that. He knows that. Austin knows that. More than anyone, Austin knows it.” She took a breath and worked to compose herself. “Austin’s father is dead, Mom. And that’s never going to change. But he does have an uncle who loves him very much and wants more than anything for him to experience all the things that he would have experienced with his father if Eric hadn’t died.” She swallowed hard, forcing herself not to cry. “And I, for one, think that’s pretty freakin’ special.”

  Her mom was silent for a moment. She opened her mouth and closed it again. Nodded. Swallowed hard and finally said, “Okay.”

  “Okay?” There had to be more. Where her mom was concerned, there was always more.

  “Yes,” Laura said. “Okay. I trust that you know what’s best for Austin. You’re a good mother, Drew.” Her smile was kind and her eyes shone with love. As frustrating as she could be, she was still her mother, and she loved Drew and Austin ferociously. Drew knew that. “Austin is lucky to have you, and I know this hasn’t been easy.”

  Drew crossed the room and dropped to a crouch in front of her mom’s chair. “No,” she said. “It’s been horrific and sad and the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. But there’s one thing I know for sure.”

  Laura took Drew’s hand in hers and squeezed. “What’s that?”

  “I couldn’t have done it without the incredible support from everyone. And I still need help, Mom. Especially where Austin is concerned. He’s so young and he needs a strong male role model who can do all the things that Dad can’t, and that I’ll be terrible at.” Like catching a fish. The thought made her smile. “He needs Ben, Mom. And you know what? I think Ben needs Austin, too.”

  Ben didn’t talk about it much, but losing Eric had been hard on him, too. Very hard. Spending time with Austin was just as healing for Ben.

  Her mom still looked skeptical, but to Drew’s relief, didn’t push the issue
any further except to add, “Okay.”

  “Okay?” She eyed her mom skeptically.

  “Yes.” Her mom nodded. “Drew, all I ever want is the best for both of you, and I know you don’t think I’m very good at showing it sometimes, but I really am just trying to be supportive.”

  Drew wanted to both scream and laugh in frustration at her mother. In the end, she shook her head and gave her mom a hug just as she heard the front door open.

  “Mom! I’m home!”

  Drew stood and braced herself in time to catch Austin as he ran into the room and launched himself in her arms for a hug. “Hey, buddy. Did you have a good day?”

  “Totally. We did stations today and there were these blocks. Not Lego, but sort of and they connect and make these things. Not towers, but sort of. And the teacher—Grandma!” He untangled himself from Drew’s arms mid-story and launched himself at Laura, who caught him. He immediately launched into his story with her, starting at the beginning and adding in new details.

  “I see you’re hearing all about these wonder blocks, too.” Amber walked into the kitchen and handed Drew her son’s backpack. “He was in such a hurry to tell you about them, he left this in the backseat.”

  “Thank you.” Drew took the backpack and got to work unpacking the various pieces of artwork, along with the lunch kit and whatever else her son had collected during the day. “And thank you for picking him up. Somedays, I—”

  “Don’t even worry about it. I love spending time with him.” Amber poured herself a mug of coffee from the pot and leaned back against the counter. “In fact, I was hoping Logan and I could borrow him next week.”

  Drew looked up from the lunch kit she was disassembling. “Borrow?”

  “Well…we were going to do a photo shoot for Taking the Reins. Just some images for the website and brochures and stuff. He’s so good with the horses and Logan and I were hoping that maybe…”

  “Of course.” Drew laughed. “As long as it’s okay with Austin.”

  “If what’s okay with me?” As soon as he heard his name, his story for his grandmother was forgotten.