Facing the Sun

by Carol Beth Anderson

  And just like that, desire hit her, entering her heart like a knife, spreading throughout her whole body. And desire turned into magic.

  Tavi tried to repress it, but it was too late. She sat up straight, feeling the magic from the crown of her head to the soles of her bare feet. Both men looked up at once. Aldin gasped, and Ash stood so quickly that his chair rocked on two legs before falling on its side.

  In a moment, Ash had crossed the room. He stopped several feet away from Tavi. His gaze traveled across her glowing face, then over the rest of her. The magic even shone through her light-colored clothes. Ash’s eyes met hers, and he spoke one word, realization filling his voice. “Tavi.”

  She blinked and gasped. He knew her name. Tavi wasn’t sure why that fact frightened her so much. She had to get out of this house. While the men stared at her, she took a minute to listen to the areas surrounding the farmhouse, but she couldn’t find any voices. She would have to try later.

  Tavi took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air, drawing most of her magic back into her chest—all but her stride gift, which she kept in place. She felt immediate relief as most of her magical senses were muffled. With an exhale, she sent every drop of magic from her chest into her feet.

  Tavi had felt small creatures in the ground a moment ago—moles, perhaps. Now that her feet were flooded with magic, she sensed much more. The soil was populated with ants, earthworms, and termites, each organism moving with purpose.

  Extending her magical senses deeper, Tavi felt for the weak spots between deep rocks, the places where the earth nearly begged to split apart. She would give the ground what it wanted; she would break it, destroying the house with it, and perhaps in the chaos she caused, she could escape.

  Tavi thought of Tullen, Misty, Sall, and Narre, of her desire to be with them again, and she sent her magic into the deep rocks and the cracks between them.

  Or she tried to. As soon as Tavi’s magic attempted to change the earth under her feet, it encountered the unmistakable barrier of resistance. Clearly what she was attempting would cause harm, and Sava was putting a stop to it. She stared at her feet, pressing them into the ground, pushing her magic as hard as she could. But the resistance she encountered was like sand on a fire; not only was her magic prevented from spreading into the earth; she could also feel her power dissipating more quickly the more she tried to force it.

  In moments, Tavi’s magic was gone. She huffed in frustration, and, looking up at Ash, she saw fascination written on every plane of his face.

  “You tried to shake the earth,” he said, “and you couldn’t.” Seeing Tavi’s surprise, he smiled. “For years I heard stories about you, Tavi. I didn’t even know if the tales were true. And then we met Reba. Do you know how many hours I was on the road with her—and do you realize how much she loves to talk?” He grinned, asking, “Is the schoolhouse in Oren repaired now?”

  Tavi would have been embarrassed at that question, had she not been fixated on what he had said first. Just like Tullen, Ash had heard stories about her for years. How many people knew about her? And what did they want from her?

  The front door opened, and Konner entered the sitting room—without Narre or Tullen. “Aldin, care for my horse,” he instructed, holding out his lantern. Aldin took it and exited. Konner’s eyes found Tavi. “Is something amusing you?” he asked.

  She didn’t even try to wipe the smile off her face. “I guess you didn’t find them,” she said.

  Konner raised an eyebrow and walked toward the fire.

  “Konner,” Ash said, “this is Tavi.”

  The banker's eyes widened. “This is her?” he asked. Ash nodded. Konner approached Tavi, a slow smile filling his face. “How wonderful,” he said. “I’m Konner Burrell.” He didn’t offer her a hand; it was as if he knew she’d refuse it. Pulling a chair near Tavi, he gestured to Ash to do the same. “Let’s talk,” he said, sitting.

  These men knew who Tavi was, and they were glad she was there. This realization injected fear back into her veins. Tavi didn’t want to talk. But Ash was determined, righting his fallen chair and dragging it closer to hers.

  “You’re not the only one who gets frustrated when you encounter magical resistance,” Ash said. “We all do. Wouldn’t you want to have full control over your magic if you could?”

  Tavi shook her head, trying to regain the small measure of peace she had found before her gifts had activated. She met Ash’s eyes. “Resistance or not, I trust Sava.”

  Ash nodded, a smirk tugging at his lips, as if he was willing to accept the answer but did not believe it. He said, “Magic fills your entire body in a way no one else has ever experienced. Yes, you have magic in all the typical areas. But when magic floods you—as it just did—it doesn’t just fill those areas. You also have it here.” He touched his chest. “And here.” His arm stretched to pat his back. “And here, and here,” he added, hands touching his arms and legs, “and everywhere else.” He pointed down and up the length of his body. “Have you ever asked yourself what good all that magic is? Is it there for effect? Because a glowing girl is fascinating to see?”

  Tavi’s breaths were coming more quickly, but this time it wasn’t due to fear. Of course I’ve wondered why. Of course I’ve asked myself these questions. Tavi kept her expression as disinterested as she could, but she was desperate for Ash to continue.

  When he spoke again, he was quiet, and Tavi had to lean forward to hear him. “Tavi, I don’t think you were meant to simply have a greater number of gifts than the rest of us,” he said, his voice as warm as his smile. “I think you were meant to do magic in an utterly unique way—to discover a power no one else has known. I think that’s your purpose, as the first all-blessed person.”

  When Tavi responded, her voice was strained, and she wasn’t sure why. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Ash laughed. “Neither do I, not exactly. But I think you’ll learn to join your gifts together, so the whole of your magic is greater than the sum of its parts. I’m no fortune-teller, Tavi. But I know this: you’re fifteen. From all I’ve heard, you’re a quick study. Whatever you become, you will be greater than you are now, most likely far greater. But if you continue to be limited by this asinine thing we call ‘resistance,’ you’ll never be able to use your power to its fullest potential.”

  “But resistance is part of magic,” Tavi protested, fully engaged in the conversation despite herself. “There’s no way to change that.”

  Tavi followed Ash’s gaze to Konner, who was smiling. He gave Ash a brief nod.

  Ash stood. “Aldin,” he said, “a little grappling, if you please?” Tavi turned to see Aldin standing against a wall; she had not even noticed him reentering the room.

  “In here?” Aldin asked.

  Ash nodded. They moved to the middle of the room. Ash pushed a table away, making a space barely big enough to fight in. Tavi watched intently. The men began by shaking hands. But Ash didn’t let go. Aldin looked down at his own hand, trying unsuccessfully to pull it away. Ash’s hands both began to glow the gray of a storm cloud, and Tavi’s breath caught in her throat.

  In less than a moment, Ash forcibly spun Aldin around. The young man’s arm was pinned behind him by one of Ash’s gray hands, and his neck was squeezed by the other.

  The movement was so quick that Tavi’s gasp didn’t even begin until the action was done. Ash gazed seriously at her.

  “Resistance should have stopped me from doing that,” Ash said. “Or from doing this.” He twisted Aldin’s arm back and forth at high speed, and the younger man let out a real groan.

  Tavi couldn’t keep the horror off her face. “Stop,” she heard herself beg.

  Ash let go, releasing both his magic and his friend. The men shook hands again before returning to their seats.

  Ash’s smile was back. “You may not have the desire to fight someone,” he said. Looking at Aldin, he added, “Thanks for being a good sport, by the way.” Aldin nodded cheerfully. His attenti
on back on Tavi, Ash continued, “But if you learn to do magic our way, you can use it however you need to, free from archaic constraints. Free from resistance.”

  For an hour, they discussed gray magic. Tavi was overwhelmed with horror, fear, and enthrallment in equal measures. She had already been afraid of these men. Now she knew two of them had magic unencumbered by resistance, magic that could be used to harm. It was a terrible thought.

  Yet Tavi couldn’t stop listening and asking questions. She found it impossible to grasp the magnitude of gray magic, of what it would mean to her and to the world. It was as if she were trying to breathe on top of a mountain, the thin air never quite filling her lungs. She was fascinated and frightened, curious and cautious.

  Many of Ash’s answers, however, were evasive. He talked about how it felt to use gray magic (calling it “uncomfortable,” which Tavi sensed might be an understatement) and about its limitations (none, beyond each bearer’s constraints of strength, tolerance, and control.) However, he refused to say how one gained gray magic or how many people already had such capabilities.

  When the clock on the mantel read half past three, the room filled with the sound of snoring. Aldin was draped across a chair, fast asleep. Ash laughed and suggested they go to bed.

  Konner, who had closely observed the conversation without being part of it, stood. “Ash,” he said, “I’d like both you and Aldin to stay in the bedroom with our guest. One of you should always be awake, keeping an eye on her.” He turned to Tavi. “In time, we hope your stay with us becomes a willing one,” he said. “Until then, please don’t attempt to escape or use your magic.”

  He took a step closer to her and spoke quietly. “Aldin told me a story I think you should hear. On the way out of Oren, your friend Narre attempted to use her gift to break the sides of the wagon. Ash and Aldin tied her hands to her ankles. Had she tried to use magic to break the ropes, she would have also broken her ankles. After that, she was very cooperative.”

  Tavi drew back, tears filling her eyes. She looked at Ash and Aldin in disgust.

  Ash’s expression was as angry as it had been when he’d discovered Narre’s escape. He growled, “Konner, this isn’t necessary.”

  Konner didn’t even look at Ash. His eyes still on Tavi, he said, “My point is, these are good men, and the last thing they want to do is hurt you. Don’t give them reason to do so.”

  Tavi tried to blink away her tears, tried to regulate her breathing. But her cheeks were soon wet, and a single sob escaped her mouth. She turned around, rushing toward the bedroom, knowing Ash and Aldin would be close behind.

  She didn’t think she would be able to sleep, not after everything she had experienced that day. But perhaps it was because of all that had happened that Tavi found herself bone-weary as soon as she lay down. Within minutes, she fell asleep to the sound of tinkling bells being attached to the door.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  The first time I met another person with gifted hands, I assumed she would be a healer. I was astonished when she instead used her hands to redirect a river. Sava’s creativity has astounded me countless times since.

  -From Savala’s Collected Letters, Volume 2

  Tavi woke with the sun, faced by a very sleepy Ash. “Hope you got some sleep,” he said, his voice gravelly.

  Her first thought was of this man, tying Narre’s hands to her ankles. Tavi wasn’t interested in small talk with him. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. And you need to go straight to Kovus.

  “It’s this way.”

  Ash led Tavi to the kitchen, where two maids were cooking breakfast. “Tisra, please accompany Tavi to the bathroom,” Ash instructed. “You know the rules.”

  The maid, who was not the one who had left the door unlocked for Tavi, led the way out of the kitchen, Tavi following. When they arrived at the bathroom, Tisra walked in first, stepping to the side to give Tavi room to enter.

  “Are you planning to stay here with me?” Tavi asked.

  Tisra nodded. “I apologize.”

  “Can you at least turn around?”

  “Only for a moment.” Tisra turned to face the door.

  As Tavi used the toilet, she activated her hearing magic. “I’m in the farmhouse, and I’m fine,” she breathed, the hissing and tapping of her consonants sounding loud in the tiled bathroom.

  “What was that?” Tisra asked.

  “Just talking to myself.” Tavi listened for a moment, but she didn’t hear her friends.

  Tisra warned, “I’m about to turn around.”

  Tavi tensed her jaw, tight enough to feel it in her ears. When she released the tension, her magic dissipated too—just as Tisra turned toward her. The maid’s eyes narrowed as if she had seen something suspicious. Tavi smiled innocently, flushed the toilet, and washed her hands.

  Tisra led Tavi to the dining room, where Ash and Aldin sat. A hot breakfast waited. Tavi wasn’t hungry, but she ate well, determined to keep her strength up. As they finished eating, Konner entered the dining room. Tavi immediately felt her entire body tighten. After Konner’s delight in sharing the story of Narre being tied up, Tavi felt disgusted by him.

  “I’ll be in Savala observing the council meeting this morning,” Konner said. “I would like to check up on a few of the councillors.” His eyes found Tavi’s. “You’ll let Ash and Aldin know if you need anything, won’t you, Tavi?” She gave a tight nod.

  When Konner left, Tavi’s body again relaxed. She looked toward the two men at the table and found Ash’s eyes on her. “You’re afraid of him,” he observed. Tavi did not reply.

  “Smart girl,” Aldin mumbled, his mouth full of a biscuit.

  Ash ignored that. “Why aren’t you afraid of us?” he asked Tavi. She shrugged. She did fear them, but she was working hard not to show it.

  Aldin said, “Your friend Narre was afraid, especially at first.”

  Tavi gave them both a look of disdain. “Perhaps that’s because you stole her from her hometown and brought her here against her will.”

  “We didn’t hurt her, and we don’t want to hurt you either,” Aldin said.

  And Tavi believed him. But she also believed they would hurt her if they must. And that frightened her terribly—these two men were genuinely friendly, yet would resort to violence because they believed so strongly in their cause. She glanced at Ash’s hands, which, when filled with gray magic, could surely break one of her bones or snap her neck before she even had time to react. Not that Tavi had the skills to fight back even if she could see an attack coming. She held back a shudder.

  These were men whose actions would quickly become unpredictable if they had reason to fear her. So she would remain submissive until she was ready to act.

  After breakfast, Ash and Aldin guided Tavi out the kitchen door to the nearby barn.

  From the outside, the only thing eye-catching about the building was its wavy metal roof. Tavi had never seen its like. Inside, the barn held few reminders of its original purpose. It was heated, just like the house. Sun streamed through small windows, and Ash lit several hanging lanterns for more light. Tavi’s mouth dropped when she saw the polished wood floor, the indoor Corner Rostrum, and the various tools and pieces of equipment she guessed were meant to help them learn to do magic, fight, or both.

  “It’s like a practicum room,” she said. “Sort of.”

  Ash laughed. “I trained with midwives in my hometown for several years. Trust me, this is far more practical than their practicum!”

  “Practicum was the most boring part of my training,” Aldin said.

  “You mean the training you went to for all of three months?” Ash asked.

  Aldin grinned, unabashed. “If it had been more interesting, I would have gone for longer. And not skipped half my classes.”

  “Well, no sense having a place like this if we don’t use it,” Ash said. “Want to start with some grappling, Aldin?” Upon Aldin’s ready agreement, Ash turned to Tavi. “Can we teach you some too?”
He glanced at her pants. “You’re dressed for it.”

  There was no way Tavi would put herself in the hands of these men in such a literal way. She pasted on a polite smile. “Why don’t you just explain what you’re doing, and I’ll observe?” she suggested.

  “All right,” Ash said. “We won’t use our gifts; that way you can see how the skills work without magic muddying things up.”

  The men fought, frequently slowing to show Tavi the mechanics of various holds, kicks, punches, and blocks. It was nerve-wracking, imagining them using that violence against her. Yet it was also more interesting than she would have expected. They even demonstrated throws, telling Tavi she could learn to throw someone much larger than herself. That intrigued her, but she tried not to let her face betray her interest.

  As they fought, the windows darkened, storm clouds pushing into view. During a brief break, Ash lit more hanging lanterns. Raindrops slammed loudly into the metal roof. Tavi wondered how close her friends were and if they had any shelter. Ash and Aldin continued to fight, raising their voices over the rain as they explained their movements to her.

  After an hour of grappling, both men were so covered in sweat, they looked almost as if they’d been caught outside in the storm. Aldin suggested a rest.

  “You two sit for a spell,” Ash said, raising his voice over the rain. “I need to use the facilities; I’ll be right back.” He exited the barn and jogged through the rain toward the house.

  This was it. Tavi was in a large barn with only one captor, and he didn’t strike her as the most cautious of sorts. She turned to Aldin with a smile. “I know you’re tired, but I want to see your magic,” she said, nearly yelling to be heard.

  Aldin took the bait. “I bet you’ve never seen anything like it,” he boasted, jumping to his feet and running across the barn floor. Tavi couldn’t see a glow anywhere on his body. But when he reached the end of the room, he kept going—vertically, up a panel of brick on the barn’s back wall.