Grace After the Storm

by Sandy Sinnett

  Hannah cracked a smile at his comment, but suddenly it hit her as to what he was trying to do. He was taking over her business – taking everything she had ever worked for!

  “Wait a minute… what do you think you are doing?”

  “What do you mean? I’m trying to give you –”

  She didn’t let him finish. “You’re giving me a migraine! I can’t listen to this anymore. They’re all just empty promises and you won’t be happy until you take over my entire estate and push me out forever. That’s what you do best isn’t it, Brad? You walk in, take the world by storm, then walk out once you’ve conquered the job; never allowing yourself to become too emotionally attached!” she shouted, letting it all out. Hannah’s emotions had finally gotten the best of her as the painful memories resurfaced, no longer able to keep them bottled up.

  “If this is about our past and how I left, then just admit it! You’ve been wanting to ever since I walked through the door. Tell me off, slap me. Oh wait, you already did that. I get it, okay? I’m a jerk, a loser, a no-good, non-committal Neanderthal. I was so scared of not being good enough for you that I left. I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear? Because I am. I’m sorry I never told you face to face and took off without saying goodbye. I’m sorry I didn’t marry you and take you with me, because believe it or not… you were the love of my life! I tried to explain everything in the letter, but obviously that didn’t work out too well.” Defeated, he dropped his head.

  “I… I wouldn’t know. I never received any letter,” she said.

  “What? I wrote a letter! I left it under the door of the office the morning I left. I swear!” The look of surprise on his face was priceless. Hannah felt a little guilty for lying to him about the letter, but he deserved it. She wasn’t being totally dishonest, though. She did get the letter, but she never opened it. She couldn’t bring herself to learn the truth, to learn that she wasn’t enough for him or that he didn’t love her. Instead, she ripped it in half. Wait… did he just say I was the love of his life? If that’s true, why did he leave? What did I do? Maybe it’s time I read that letter.

  He stood in front of her and looked into her eyes. “Don’t believe me, I don’t care. I wrote the letter and told you exactly how I felt and why I couldn’t stay. Apparently it was all for nothing.”

  Hannah didn’t have the words to reply immediately, and by then, she was starting to get a real migraine. “I’m going inside to take a pill and check on Grandma.”

  “Fine,” he said, and walked away.

  There was no point in trying to talk to her anymore so Brad took a few minutes to calm down and went back inside the B&B. He’d no sooner walked through the front door when he heard Jules scream at the top of her lungs and immediately ran to find her, his heart in his throat. She was in Lois’ room, her grandmother lying face down in Hannah’s arms choking and gasping for air. Hannah was pounding on her back to help clear her lungs, but her breathing was so labored that Lois’ lips were turning blue.

  “Brad! She can’t breathe! Call an ambulance, please!” Hannah cried out in agony.

  Brad ran to get the phone and call 911, but Clare beat him to it and was already dialing, running down the hall toward him. They waited for what felt like an eternity, but the ambulance finally arrived and took Lois out on a stretcher. She was alive, but unable to breathe without oxygen. The pneumonia had worsened.

  Hannah climbed into the back of the ambulance and looked at Clare. “Please don’t leave, okay? I need you here to watch the ‘Putz’.”

  “You got it, Aunt Jules,” Clare replied.

  Brad’s eyebrow raised after hearing Hannah’s statement. After the ambulance left, he turned to Clare. “Let me guess. I’m the Putz?” he asked.

  “How’d you guess?” she answered, then blew a bubble with her bubble gum and popped it. A mischievous smile spread over her face.

  “Great… this day just keeps getting better and better. And I suppose you know all about me then?”

  “Not everything, but enough. Enough to know that you must be a real scum-sucking leech of a guy to ever leave Jules. Are you really that stupid?” Clare’s teenage, abrasive tact was in rare form.

  “I refuse to have this conversation with a kid who knows nothing about me or my previous relationship status with Jules. You have no idea what happened.”

  “I know enough to see right through your little plan you’ve got going here.”

  “Oh yeah? And what plan would that be? Please enlighten me Oh-Wise-One,” his voice continued to rise.

  “You’re going to kick her and Lois out after the sale is final aren’t you?”

  “What? Why would you think that? Does Hannah think that too?” Brad ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “How could she think I would do that,” he whispered out loud.

  Clare heard him muttering. “Oh gross! You still love her don’t you?”

  “Again… not going to have this conversation with you, Squirt.”

  “Yep… that’s a yes. I can tell. You’re like a little puppy around her.”

  “I am not!”

  “Yes, you are!” Clare snapped. “It’s so obvious a monkey could see it.”

  “I’ve got work to do and a meeting in an hour. Don’t you have something to keep you busy?” Brad was growing more frustrated with her by the minute. “Why are you here anyway? Who are you to Jul… Hannah?”

  “She hasn’t told you?”

  “Told me what?”

  “I’m her ‘Little’.”

  “Her ‘little’? You mean little sister? I didn’t realize she had a sister.”

  “She doesn’t. I’m not really her blood sister. I’m her ‘Little’. She took me under her wing after her parents died. We met through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program here in town. That was five years ago.” Clare scuffed the floor with her foot.

  “So, she just hangs out with you? And you work here too?”

  “Well, I didn’t at first. As I got older, I started helping out more and really enjoyed it. Before I knew it, Jules had me working and even paid me. It’s fun, and I like having something to call my own. I live with my foster parents, but they’re really busy with their younger kids. Jules and I were matched up through the organization and I’ve kind of become, well, part of her family. She helps me with homework, encourages me, listens to all my crazy stories about school and friends, you know… all that stuff.”

  “That sounds like something Jules would do,” he smiled.

  “Now that I’m older, I just walk here after school and help her where I can. It’s harder for her to do much now with her grandma so sick. I just want to help her like she helped me.”

  “That’s pretty cool, kid. But why aren’t you in school today?”

  “Today is parent-teacher conferences, so we got out at eleven. Besides, I don’t need your approval,” Clare replied in a sharp tone.

  “I… ugh! What is it with teens these days? Look, Clare, I don’t have time to argue right now. Go do whatever it is you do. I’ll be fine.”

  “You are my job, remember… Putz? I’m supposed to watch you and make sure you don’t get into trouble,” she laughed.

  “I’ll give you twenty bucks to leave me alone.” Brad pulled out his wallet and took out a twenty-dollar bill.

  “Make it forty and you’ve got a deal.”

  Brad laughed, “Forty? Are you –?”

  “Otherwise I will sit here and stare at you until she gets back. And I don’t blink.” Clare sat down at the kitchen table and cast her steady gaze on him.

  “Fine. Forty.” He pulled out another twenty and handed her the crisp bills. “Now go, please.”

  “I’m gone, but I’m never far,” she giggled and walked off.

  “That’s comforting,” he replied, then went up to his room to rest and review the papers for the sale.

  The wood floor creaked as he walked through his room over to the window, staring at the old rug that lay beneath his feet. The edges were fr
ayed, the southwest colors now faded from the years of sitting in the sun. It was shining bright, so he took a few minutes and let its warmth sink into his skin, consumed with worry about Jules and her grandmother. She was the same amazing woman he had fallen in love with long ago, yet better in every way. He greatly admired her taking over her family’s estate, caring for Lois, and taking in Clare like family.

  Please get better, Lois, he thought. Lois was the only one in his corner right now and he would need her support to help get Jules back. How can that silly teenage girl tell that I still have feelings for her? It’s true though. I’ve loved her since the day I laid eyes on her, and I only hope she is willing to give me a second chance, once I prove to her that I won’t hurt her again. She didn’t correct me today when I called her Jules, so I guess that’s a good start. His mind continued to race.

  After a few hours, still no word from Jules, Brad made his way back down to the dining room and ate a small snack to calm his nerves. Clare had managed to give him the space he needed thankfully, but the solitude made things worse. The doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it!” Clare yelled from the family room and came running toward the door.

  “I’ve got it, Clare. It’s the broker,” Brad said and opened the door to let him in.

  “Are you Mr. Young?” the man asked.

  “Yes. And you are?”

  “Hello. I’m Alan Reynolds. I’m from the broker’s office.”

  “Please come in, Mr. Reynolds. Can I offer you anything to drink?”

  “No, I’m fine thank you. We should get down to business. I have another client meeting in an hour. The bank has accepted your offer to purchase the estate and I think you’ll find the contract outlined exactly as your brother and I discussed over the phone. You’ve made a generous offer, and I must say, your conditions were rather… unique. I’ve never had someone buy a business in foreclosure and then donate it right back to the original owner. May I ask why?”

  “This estate belonged to the owner’s parents, and it’s all she has left of them. It’s her home. We couldn’t just run her out. That’s not really the southern way, Mr. Reynolds,” Brad smiled.

  “She’s a lucky lady. I hope she knows that.”

  “Outside of the basic sale contract, I’d like to keep the other conditions confidential if that can be arranged.” Brad didn’t want Hannah to know their plans, fearing it would make her feel like a charity case. For now, he needed her to believe that he and Mitch were the sole owners until he could explain everything.

  “Of course. The conditions regarding the donation will remain undisclosed, and there is no need for her signature on anything for that arrangement. Once the 90-day mark has passed, however, she’ll need to re-file the deed of trust for public record. All I need is her signature on the contract and you’ll officially be the new owner of Foxhead Estates. Congratulations, Mr. Young.”

  Clare stepped out of the family room and into the foyer, going unnoticed by Brad and the ‘suit’ at the table. She could tell they were talking about the sale, and it was her job to protect Jules. She tiptoed around the corner and listened in on their conversation.

  “No congratulations necessary, Mr. Reynolds. It’s only a short-term formality. In another couple of months, it will be out of my hands,” Brad stood up and shook his hand.

  “Well, I wish you and the ‘next owner’ all the best. Good day,” Mr. Reynolds said as he shook Brad’s hand. He closed his briefcase and walked toward the door.

  Clare was shocked by what she heard and quietly hurried out of sight, hoping Brad hadn’t heard her leave the room. Once the suit was gone, she walked back into the foyer.

  “What do you want now, Scooter? You’re supposed to steer clear of me remember? I paid top dollar for that as I recall.”

  “You are a first-class jerk, you know that?” Clare’s accusation took Brad by surprise.

  “What did I do now? I paid you forty bucks and I’m the jerk? I demand a refund!”

  “You’re going to need a lot more than forty bucks once I tell Aunt Jules what you are doing with her family’s estate.”

  “What are you talking about, Clare? What did you hear? You can’t tell her!”

  “I gotta go.” She pushed open the front door and ran out.

  Brad stood in the foyer, stunned at her reaction and wondered what she thought she had heard, but all he could do was worry about Jules and Lois, that bad news was coming. It was nearing five o’clock now and still no sign of them, so he went into the kitchen and searched around for something to cook for dinner – figuring they might be hungry after their ordeal. The gold Amana refrigerator looked like the original 1970’s model, complete with wood handles and no automatic ice maker. That’s going for sure. He dug around to find some fresh romaine lettuce and a few frozen shrimp, then found a box of fettucine pasta and a jar of Alfredo sauce in the pantry.

  It was nearly seven when he heard Hannah walk through the front door. Brad went out to greet her and found her standing in the foyer. Alone. She looked exhausted and worn, her eyes fixed on the floor.

  “Jules… how is Lois? Is she alright?”

  Hannah slowly lifted her head, tears spilling from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath. “It’s pneumonia, and influenza. Both. She’s holding her own right now and they’ve got her on a breathing machine, but her lungs are filling up with fluid faster than they can remove it. She’s… she’s dying Brad.” Hannah folded over at the waist, wrapping her arms tight around her stomach as she let out a loud, broken cry. Brad walked toward her, longing to hold her and console her, but she lifted up her right arm and with the palm of her hand facing him, she motioned him to stop.

  “Don’t. I don’t want your pity,” she growled.

  “I’m so sorry, Jules. I want to help, Darlin’. Please… just tell me what I can do,” he pleaded.

  “I think you’ve helped enough, haven’t you? You being here just makes everything worse!” she yelled.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll leave you alone. Dinner will be ready soon if you’re hungry.”

  “I’m not hungry. I need to go take a nap, shower and get back to the hospital.” Hannah ran to her room and slammed the door behind her.

  Brad returned to the kitchen and finished making dinner. He was starving, but had no desire to eat. He figured Hannah might come in when he was gone, so he fixed her a plate and covered it with foil. On a small piece of paper, he wrote her name, and underneath it wrote ‘I’m here for you’. It was after seven and Jules was still holed up in her room. Rather than go to his own room and pace the floor, Brad felt a strong desire to visit Lois at the hospital before Hannah decided to return. He picked up his keys and quietly slipped out the door.

  Hannah cried for the better part of that evening, her eyes stinging. She stared at the closet door, hugging her tear-soaked pillow, stained with streaks of black mascara. Maybe if I hide in there, this will all go away. I’ve hidden other things behind that door to make bad memories disappear. It worked too… at least until he showed up. In a last ditch effort to take her mind off the inevitable, she walked over and opened the door. Buried behind a stack of shoe boxes and a bag of old clothes, she dug out a little wooden box – the words ‘My Jules’ carved into the lid. She returned to the bed and set the box down in front of her. A thick layer of dust covered the top, and the rusty hinge creaked loudly as she opened it, revealing two items. The first, a faded old envelope, yellowed by time. Her name was written on the front. Brad’s letter. The second, a small blue velvet pouch that contained her engagement ring. He’d given her the box and the ring the night he proposed. Unable to look at the ring, she moved it aside.

  She lifted the letter out of the box, her hand shaking. It happened just like Brad said it did – she found it laying on the office floor the day he left. Knowing it contained his goodbye, she chose not to open it. Ever. Instead, she took it home and in a fit of red-headed anger and stubbornness, ripped it in half, only to reg
ret it later and tape it back together. That night, she hid everything inside the box… the letter, the ring, and her pain. All of it in that little box… never to open it again. Never to think about him again. Until now.

  Even the tape was now brown, the edges curled and peeling away from the surface. Tears welled in her eyes as she stared at the letter – her memory of that day still marred by the agony she had endured. Brad turned out to be the first in a series of bad moments and decisions in her life, all of which she conveniently blamed on him. His leaving caused a permanent stain, but as it turned out, his love had also left an indelible mark on her heart that she could never remove. Very gently, she opened the envelope and pulled out the still-torn letter, laying the two pieces side-by-side in order to read it.

  His words read…

  Hey Jules,

  I’m not good with words and I’m even worse at saying goodbye, so I won’t say it. I love you more than I ever thought a man could love a woman. My dad died when I was only a sophomore in high school, so I don’t remember much about how he treated my mom and I never really learned the right way to treat a woman, let alone love one or marry one. The truth is, I don’t think I’d make a very good husband to you. I build things all the time, but building a life with you scares me to death, Jules. I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you and I can’t bear to do that. You deserve better than me. I need you to know that you hold my heart in the palm of your hand and you always will. I will never forgive myself for leaving you, but it’s the only way I know how to make sure you have a good, happy life. I know you’ll fall in love with someone else one day, and I want you to have the best that this life has to offer. No matter what, just remember that I love you. You are my forever love – and I knew it the day I laid eyes on you in that office. I’ll never love another like you, Jules. I only hope that someday you can forgive me for not giving us the chance we deserved. It’s weird, but I believe there is a plan for us floating out there somewhere, and if God can find it in his heart to lead us back to each other again, I promise I’ll never let go.