Grace After the Storm

by Sandy Sinnett

  Brad closed his eyes, remembering Hannah whining about her meds. “Um, yes. She has medicine, but she told me she can never remember to take it. I don’t know how long it’s been since she had a dose.” He stared at the floor in a daze.

  “Well, we’ll start her on BP meds and do the best we can. Stay positive.”

  “Thanks, Doc. Can I see her now?”

  “Of course. She’s still unconscious, and seems to be stable right now, but that could change at any moment. Please don’t stay long, Mr. Young.”

  Brad nodded in agreement, and the doctor pointed him to her room. He approached the door and paused, staring in at her. He walked inside and sat next to her on the bed. Hard as he tried to prevent them, the tears began to roll down his cheek upon seeing her red curls strewn around the pillow. He leaned in and kissed her scratched-up cheek, then detected a familiar smell permeating the air around him – an unmistakable scent. It was masked by a sterile hospital odor, but he knew it well. He moved in closer, and inhaled slowly. Cucumber-Melon. She still uses the same shampoo after all these years. I didn’t even know they still sold it. He smiled, then picked up a long curl, stretched it out, and then let it spring back into place. Like he used to do. “I finally get you back and this has to happen.” He stroked her head softly. “I know you have no reason to give me a second chance, but I hope you do. I was so stupid to let you go all those years ago,” he whispered. “Oh, and I have a gift for you. I’m giving the winery back to you – free and clear. You need to wake up so I can tell you in person, okay? I love you, Jules.” He kissed her cheek again and sat quietly holding her hand.

  Clare pulled a chair up next to Lois’ bed.

  “Do you want me to read to you, Grams?” Clare asked. Lois turned her head and smiled, her false teeth no longer in her mouth.

  “Sure, Sweetie. But first, come sit next me so I can tell you something,” Lois said in breathless words. Clare did as she asked.

  “Am I in trouble?” Clare asked with a chuckle.

  “Far from it my dear. I need you,” Lois took a big breath, “… to give Jules a message for me.”

  “Grams… come on. You can tell her yourself. She’s going to be fine – trust me.”

  “I know, but I might not be here by the time she gets better.”

  “Where are you…? NO. Don’t you dare talk like that, Lois. You are going to get better. You will – you have to!” Clare’s anxious voice rose.

  “My sweet, Clare,” Lois coughed – barely able to whisper. “It’s okay honey. I will always be with you, but my time on this earth is coming to an end. I want you and Jules to take care of each other. Promise me that, okay?”

  “I promise,” Clare said, holding Lois’ hand, tear trickling down her pink cheeks.

  “I need you to tell Jules that there is always grace after the storm.” Lois coughed.

  Clare’s chin quivered as her tears poured down. “I… I promise, Grams. What does it mean though?” Clare asked.

  “She’ll know, don’t worry. You’ll both know one day,” Lois smiled.

  “I love you,” Clare said, and wrapped her arms around Lois. “Don’t go yet, Grams,” Clare whispered in her ear, crying softly.

  “I’ll be here forever, Clare,” Lois said, pressing her hand over Clare’s heart. “Now, why don’t you read to me while I rest?”

  “Yes ma’am.” Clare wiped her eyes, then picked up the book from Lois’ nightstand and sat down in the chair. She read aloud, starting at the beginning. Lois smiled and closed her eyes.

  *****

  Brad stood next to her, dashing in his black and white tuxedo. The winery was full of beauty, flowers of every color blooming all around them. Catching rays of sunlight, the pearls and beads sewn on Hannah’s gown glistened, twinkling like stars at night. She looked into the crowd of guests seated behind them – her mom and dad were smiling from the front row, looking so proud. Mitch and Laci – holding their new baby boy – Clare, and many other family and friends were gathered around, anxiously waiting for the ceremony to begin. She didn’t see her grandmother at first, but as she turned toward the door, she saw her enter. Lois was never more radiant, wearing a lovely lavender dress and hat to match in true ‘Lois’ fashion. She had a glow about her that Hannah hadn’t seen in years. Lois walked up to Brad and Hannah, and took their hands.

  “Grandma, the ceremony is about to start. What are you doing?” Hannah asked.

  “I came to say goodbye my dear. I will always be with you, but my time here has ended. Before I go though, I need you to promise me that you’ll give Brad a second chance. He’s a ‘keeper’ that one – your one true love. I’m so grateful that the two of you found your way back to each other. The timing was all in God’s hands from the very start.” Lois looked over at Brad. “Thank you for saving my granddaughter, Brad. Without you and your love, she would have been a wandering soul. Love her well for me.”

  Brad smiled, but Hannah looked lost and confused.

  “Grandma, where are you going? Why would you say goodbye before my wedding? I don’t understand.” Hannah looked around and the seats that were once filled were now empty – only her parents remained. They stood up and walked over to Lois, taking her by the hand.

  “Mom? Dad? Aren’t you staying?” Hannah questioned them. Her voice cracked, tears flowing from her eyes.

  “We love you, Jules. We will always be here my darling,” her mother said softly – her voice like an echo ringing in the distance.

  “Grandma, Mom, Dad… what’s going on? Please don’t leave!” Hannah was sad, and suddenly realized what was happening.

  “I need to go now my dear, but know that you are the pride and joy of my heart, and I love you so much. Take care of each other, and above all else, remember that there is always grace after the storm.” Lois kissed Hannah on the cheek, and walked out the door – Hannah’s parents at her side.

  Hannah knew that was the last time she would ever see her again, yet managed a smile and turned back around.

  “Brad!” Hannah yelled. “Don’t go! I can’t lose you too!”

  Slowly, Brad drifted backwards – moving farther and farther away from her. She reached out, but was unable to touch him. He smiled. “I did it for you, Hannah,” Brad whispered.

  Hannah could barely hear him, his voice distorted as if under water. Her heart was overcome with a palpable, aching pain and she started to cry, then doubled over and grabbed her chest.

  “She’s gone,” she whispered softly. “She’s gone.”

  *****

  “The tall grass hid him from her eyes as he galloped toward the ranch, but as he got closer, her face lit up at the sight–––” Clare’s reading was interrupted by a long, loud beep coming from one of Lois’ machines. She flew out of the chair… the book fell to the floor.

  “Grams, wake up! Grandma!” Clare shouted over and over, but there was no response. Her hand shook as she tried to press the call button, but two nurses had already rushed into the room. “What’s wrong with her?” Clare asked in a panic, but they didn’t answer. Another nurse entered the room pushing a big cart, and Clare immediately recognized the paddles sitting on top. The loud, continuous beep blared from Lois’ machine. Clare knew what it meant. Lois’ heart had stopped.

  “Miss, I need you to step outside please,” the nurse said to Clare.

  “Is she going to be okay?”

  There was no response. The nurses were already working on Lois, hooking her up to the paddles and trying to revive her. Slowly, Clare backed away and walked out of the room. Her chest was heavy and tight as her tears poured down like rain. In the hallway, she waited, pacing back and forth. Waiting.

  “Clear!” the nurse shouted. The paddles cracked, sending a shock through Lois’ chest and causing her limp body to bounce up off the bed. Clare screamed and covered her ears to drown out the noise - the dismal scene was more than she could bear. She can’t be gone! She has to be okay – she has to open her eyes and breathe! Hannah has to se
e her… Clare wanted to run away and hide, but she couldn’t leave.

  A loud, solid tone emanated from Lois’ room and Clare rushed inside, the nurses turning off her machines. Lois’ body lay on the bed, lifeless and still – her skin white as snow.

  “NO!” Clare screamed.

  “She’s gone, Sweetheart. I’m so sorry. We did everything we could,” the nurse said.

  “Grandma!” Clare pushed her way past the nurse and ran to Lois’ bedside. “Lois?” she said softly, crying. “Grandma? Please open your eyes… please!” Clare pleaded. Lois’ eyes were closed - her mouth agape and her lips caved in. Clare threw herself on top of Lois’ chest, her cry so loud it echoed down the hall. “No!” she cried.

  The nurse walked up behind Clare and patted her on the back. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I hate to do this, Sweetheart, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the room, okay? I’ll give you another minute to say goodbye.”

  Clare sobbed, then took a deep breath. “Wait! What about Jules, her granddaughter? She’s downstairs. Brad went to find her. She needs to know.”

  “We’ll call down and have someone tell her.”

  “No! I’ll tell her. I need to tell Brad too. Please… don’t call. Let me tell them,” Clare begged.

  “Alright Sweetie. I’ll get you her room number.”

  Brad’s head was bowed, silently praying for Hannah to wake, when he was startled by her faint whispers. Words. She was talking, but her eyes were still closed. He stood up and started to talk to her.

  “Jules! Baby, I’m here! It’s Brad. Can you hear me?” he asked.

  “She’s gone. She’s gone,” Hannah mumbled . Her head moved side to side slowly as she whispered the same phrase over and over, but her eyes never opened. Seconds later, a loud repetitive beep blared from her vitals monitor, the speed increasing between each one. Brad watched as the blood pressure numbers began to rise on the screen and his eyes grew wide, filled with hope she was waking up.

  “Nurse! I need some help in here!” he yelled.

  The nurse rushed in to check on her and Brad stepped away to let her work, bumping right into Clare as she came running through the door, out of breath.

  “Clare!” Brad was glad to see her, but immediately noticed her fire-red eyes were filled with tears. “Clare? What’s wrong?”

  Clare gasped for breath. “It’s Lois. I’m… I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, “but I didn’t have time to come get you. She’s gone, Brad! She’s gone!” Clare threw her arms around Brad’s waist, hugging him tight and soaking his shirt with her tears.

  “Oh, God no. Clare… I’m so sorry.” Brad hugged Clare tight and tried to console her as she mourned, still keeping his eye on Jules. The nurse had turned off the monitor alarms and he could still hear her whispering the same words.

  After a few minutes, Clare quieted her crying, and she too heard Jules’ murmuring. She pulled away from Brad and looked over at her. “Is she awake? What’s going on? What is she saying?” She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

  “She’s been saying it for the last few minutes now – ‘she’s gone’, ‘she’s gone’ – saying it over and over, then her blood pressure shot up and that’s when the nurse ran in. She’s not awake though, at least I don’t think so. Dreaming maybe. The nurse is checking on her now.”

  “She knows,” Clare whispered, her eyes wide in shock.

  “Knows what?” Brad asked.

  “Jules knows about her grandma,” Clare smiled.

  “What? That’s impossible. There is no way she could know.”

  Clare looked up at Brad. “Some things in this life are impossible to explain or understand, but trust me… she knows. I’d bet my life on it.”

  They walked back over to the end of Hannah’s bed, her muttering now barely audible. The nurse had just finished listening to her heart. “What happened to her? Is she okay?” Brad asked the nurse.

  The nurse folded the stethoscope around her neck. “She’s dreaming, which is actually a good sign. Must have been a doozy of a dream though – her BP spiked pretty high. That’s not good. One more episode like that and it could do even more damage,” she replied.

  “Wait. What kind of damage?” Clare asked, her brow furrowed.

  The nurse placed her hand on Clare’s arm in comfort. “Her brain is functioning normally for now, but it’s in a fragile state. If her blood pressure doesn’t stay at a normal rate or lower, her heart could fibrillate and that could cause her to have a heart attack. She’s resting now and it’s down, so she’s out of danger. Let’s hope it stays that way.” The nurse smiled and walked out.

  Another hour passed by, and Hannah eventually stopped her rambling. She remained unconscious, but no worse and no more dreams. Clare called her foster parents to give them the news about Lois, and they gave her permission to stay at the hospital for the night with Brad.

  She sat down in the chair next to Hannah’s bed with a magazine in hand, and it wasn’t long before she nodded off from sheer exhaustion.

  Brad watched her and realized how long and hard this day had been for her. A day that started off as a fun outing with her big sister, ended up being the worst day ever. She suffered the loss of Lois, her surrogate grandmother in all respects, and was now worried about the possibility of losing Jules too. Lois. I can’t believe she’s gone. The reality hit him. He had lost a friend too, even though they only knew each other a short time. His face resting in the palms of his hands, he wept softly, careful not to wake Clare. The love of his life lay in front of him, fighting for her life and he couldn’t do anything about it. She didn’t even know about her grandmother’s death. How will I tell her? Please God, please bring her back to me! Before he could pray another word, one of Hannah’s monitor alarms began to beep again incessantly.

  Clare was awoken immediately by the sound and they both rushed to Hannah’s bedside to find her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

  “Jules! Oh thank you God! You’re awake!” Brad’s heart overflowed, finally able to talk to her.

  Hannah turned her head toward Brad, but her eyes and face showed only anger. Clare was standing on the opposite side of Hannah’s bed. She looked up at Brad and shrugged, not sure what to make of Hannah’s reaction.

  “Hey sis… I’m here too. I’m so glad to see you!” Clare said. Hannah looked over at Clare and smiled. “Hey, Sunshine!” Clare said in a sweet voice.

  Hannah’s nurse entered the room. “Let’s give her some space while I give her a check-up, okay?” the nurse asked, then pointed them away from Hannah’s bed. She disarmed the monitor alarms and started her evaluation.

  They stepped away, but Brad couldn’t take his eyes off of Jules. He couldn’t understand why she reacted to him that way, but chalked it up to her being scared, not realizing what was going on. “It’s okay Jules – Clare and I are here. You’re going to be okay!” he yelled over at her from the other side of the room.

  “She sure looked pissed at you,” Clare said.

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Brad replied, trying to brush it off.

  “Who is going to tell her about her grandma? When do we tell her?” Clare asked.

  “Let’s worry about that later. I’m sure the doctor will let us know when the time is right.”

  The nurse walked over to them.

  “How is she? Is she going to be alright?” Brad asked anxiously.

  “She’s stable, and her blood pressure is normal, but the doctor needs to evaluate her and check the swelling in her brain – see if it’s gone down.”

  “Can I talk to her now?”

  “Keep it short. She’s had a head trauma and is still on shaky ground. One at a time,” the nurse replied.

  “Clare? Do you want to talk to her first?” Brad asked.

  “I think you’d better do it. I’m not sure I can see her yet. I’m afraid I might not be able to hold it in about Lois.” Clare stepped into the hall to give them some privacy.

  Brad took a deep breath, the
n walked to Hannah’s side. She turned her head toward Brad and blinked several times, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath, seeming frustrated. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes again.

  “Get…,” she paused, “… out,” Hannah said in a cracked voice, her brow furrowed. “Go.” Her voice was getting stronger. She turned away from him.

  Brad took her hand, but she pulled it away from him hastily. “Jules… I know you’re scared, but everything is going to be okay. The B&B is fine and I’m taking care of everything so just relax. Do you remember what happened?” Brad wanted to explain why she was there, thinking it would help her make sense of things and calm down.

  “Go now!” Hannah yelled, the beeps from her heart monitor going off more rapidly.

  The nurse came running into Hannah’s room. “Mr. Young, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave. We have to keep her blood pressure down. Please, step outside,” she urged.

  “I don’t understand! What did I do?” Brad left without a fight, but his heart ached at the thought of Jules not wanting him there. She’s obviously scared and confused, probably doesn’t even remember what happened. She did hit her head after all. His mind raced, fearing the worst.

  “What happened?” Clare asked as Brad entered the hall.

  “She doesn’t want me in there. She told me to ‘get out’.”

  “She’s just scared, Brad. Don’t worry.”

  “No, it’s more than that. I should go – let her get some rest.”

  Clare’s eyes suddenly grew wide. “Brad, wait! I know what’s wrong! She still thinks you’re selling the winery! That’s the last thing we talked about before the accident – she doesn’t know the truth! You have to tell her.”

  “I’m such a fool. Of course! I totally forgot in all the chaos today. But I can’t tell her. She won’t listen to me – you should tell her.”