by Matt Dunn
'One potentially decent date, Sophie. In six weeks. And even then, I had to lie about my height to get it.'
'You lied? What for?'
'Because everyone else does it,' said Calum, even though he knew it was like the excuses those sprinters used as to why they took drugs - that it was the only way to level the playing field. 'And when I say 'lied', I only exaggerated a little. But so what? Say I was in a bar or a club, a woman's not going to be there with her tape measure, is she?'
Sophie nodded towards Spank-o-rama. 'Depends on the type of club.'
'But my point is, you need to meet them to give yourself a chance to wow them. Tell the truth about yourself online, and you don't get to meet them. It's how it works in sales, too. Get the meeting. The face-time. And tell me something – what's so important about being six foot tall anyway?'
Sophie opened her mouth to answer, and for the second time, a vision of Nathan looking down on her popped into her head. 'I suppose height's not really that important. As long as they're not shorter than you.'
'But why does that matter? It's not as if it's the caveman days any more, and we're expected to fight off others for your honour?'
'Isn't it?' said Sophie, thinking of the one time she'd been speed dating. There had been a few cavemen there - and not in a good way. 'Calum, it's not like some identity parade where she'd pick the tallest one, and you're not that short anyway, so what are you so worried about?'
'That she won't turn up.'
'I'd say from that text that you can be sure she will.'
'Well, what if she takes one look at me, then turns round and leaves?'
'Why on earth would she do something like that? You two have been spending the last few weeks getting to know each other virtually, so she'd be silly if she didn't give you a chance in the flesh. Even if you didn't turn out to be exactly what she was expecting.'
'Really?'
'Really. And anyway, she's picked you because she liked your thumbnail, right?'
Calum glanced down at his hand. 'My thumbnail?'
'Thumbnail photo, Calum. On the site.'
'Oh. Right. I suppose so.'
'So let me have a look.'
'What for?'
'Well, the only way she's going to be disappointed is if you don't look like your photo. So let me see it, and I'll tell you if you do or not.'
Calum shrugged. 'Sure.' He flicked through to the 'pictures' section on his mobile, selected the one he'd used on his profile - the same one that was on Seek's website – and handed Sophie the phone. To be honest, it hadn't been hard to choose that one - he wasn't particularly photogenic, and most other pictures of him looked like something you'd see on Crimewatch.
'Yup.' Sophie held the phone up, peered closely at the photo, then at Calum. 'I'd say that's a pretty good likeness.'
'Really? It's not a bit of a McDonald’s shot?'
'Huh?'
'Like when your burger arrives, and it doesn't quite look like the photo above the counter.'
Sophie smiled as she handed him back the phone. 'You still eat it, though, don't you? And in your case, I'd say WYSIWYG.'
'It's not a wig. I'm a natural strawberry blond.'
She laughed. 'No – it's an acronym. It stands for 'what you see is what you get'. And what I see is what she's actually getting. So how can she possibly be disappointed?'
'Really?'
'Really.'
Calum puffed air out of his cheeks in relief. 'Thanks, Sophie.'
'Don't mention it.' She smiled reassuringly at him, then she shivered. 'And just remember - always think positive. Unless, of course, you're waiting for a girl to take a pregnancy test.'
Calum laughed, and Sophie clapped him on the shoulder. 'That's the spirit. Now, can we go back inside? It's freezing!'
Calum nodded, then followed her back through the door. He had to hope Sophie was right, though deep down, he couldn't shake the feeling Emma was bound to be disappointed when she met him.
Mainly because every other woman he'd ever gone out with had been.
Mark Webster was feeling pleased with himself. After a bit of internet research (using the company's own software, of course), he'd found out the American sweet shop in Covent Garden stocked a brand of confectionery called Hershey's Chocolate Kisses, and thanks to the phone call he'd just made (and a not inconsiderable addition to his credit card bill), a packet was due to be delivered to Julie later this morning. Short of booking a taxi to take the two of them home from the bowling, there was little else he could do, but Mark hoped the combination of his card, the balloons, and the Kisses would do the trick. He'd been especially delighted when Nathan had told him Julie was going up for this evening. It would give him an additional three or four hours to work his magic on her, and despite his earlier concerns, he'd decided if that 'magic' simply consisted of buying her a couple of cocktails and hoping for the best, then he'd try that too - but only as a last resort. He wanted Julie to remember this evening. Just like he wanted her to never forget today.
He supposed he ought to get back to work, and was scrolling through the company's end of year accounts when the sound of Julie's voice almost made him fall off his chair.
'Mark?'
'Hi,' he said, then 'hi,' though this time, back in his normal voice. Even dressed in what she probably thought was the plainest of grey business suits, Mark thought she looked... Well, 'as sexy as hell' just about covered it.
'Got a min?'
Mark nodded, biting off the 'the rest of my life, actually' response that had leapt to mind, then shifted uneasily in his seat as Julie shut the door behind her. 'What can I do for you?'
She wheeled his spare chair from the corner of the office over to the other side of his desk, and sat down. 'It's a little sensitive, actually.'
'Oh?' said Mark, though in his thoughts, he'd added the word 'no' afterwards. Was Julie here to confront him about the card, or maybe accuse him of sexual harassment like he'd feared? What had he been thinking, sending those balloons? He'd obviously meant to woo her over the course of the day, but on reflection, there was a fine line between romantic bombardment and stalking. 'Fire away,' he said, surreptitiously hiding the Hershey's receipt under a piece of paper on his desk, wondering whether it was too late to cancel the order.
'It's just...' Julie took a deep breath, and Mark braced himself. 'There's someone in this office who evidently likes someone else in this office.'
'Right.'
'And this person – not the one who's sent that someone else a Valentine's card but, you know, the someone else... Well, if they – the receiver – were gay, then that would make it all a bit of, well, a waste of time. Wouldn't it?'
Mark looked at Julie levelly, though his mind was racing. Was she trying to tell him she was gay? It would certainly explain her lack of response since their kiss - though it wouldn't quite explain why she'd kissed him in the first place, unless... Maybe she'd just been so drunk at Christmas she thought she'd try kissing a man, just to see what it was like. Perhaps she'd been questioning her sexuality, and that had been a good way to find out how she felt. Maybe he should be flattered she'd chosen him for her 'experiment', though if that were the case, he felt depressed that he hadn't been good enough to 'turn' her. At the same time, Mark wondered how he could have got it so wrong. He'd been sure there'd been a spark between them, and surely that wouldn't exist if... Though thinking about it, he couldn't be sure either way - as far as he knew, Julie had never discussed her personal life with anyone here at Seek. And while Mark liked to think their office environment was pretty progressive (it couldn't not be, given their location near Old Compton Street, the gay heart of London), maybe Julie had experienced discrimination in the past. Or innuendo. Or even unwanted advances like his. Unless... Unless this was just a ruse. A way to let him down without hurting his feelings.
'I see,' he said, aware Julie was staring at him.
'So, what do you think?'
'Well, it's fine, of course. I mean, p
erhaps a bit disappointing, obviously, for the person concerned who sent the card. But that's the way of the world nowadays, and we should celebrate diversity, rather than...' Julie was frowning, so Mark stopped talking.
'So, is that a yes or a no?'
'Pardon?'
'I'm sorry to put you on the spot Mark, but you're his friend. You'd know, wouldn't you?'
'His friend?'
'Yes. Nathan.'
'What's Nathan got to do with anything?'
'He's the one who...' Julie made the speech marks sign in the air. ''Someone' has sent a card to.'
Mark's jaw dropped. Was Julie referring to herself when she used the word 'someone', and if so, did that mean she'd sent Nathan a card? Why on earth would she do that if she was gay? And if she wasn't, and he was... He scratched his head, wondering what on earth all of this had to do with, well, anything.
'I'm sorry, Julie. I'm a little lost.'
'Is Nathan gay?'
'Nathan?' Mark almost laughed. 'Why?'
She leant across the table towards him and lowered her voice, and Mark had to fight to stop himself staring at the rather delicious view of her cleavage this provided him. 'Because between you and me, someone in this office has taken rather a liking to him.'
'Ah. And just to be clear, this 'someone' isn't gay.'
Julie sat back upright and folded her arms across her chest, much to his disappointment. 'Why on earth would you think that?'
'Sorry. Silly of me. Though of course if they were, it'd be okay. But...' Mark's voice caught in his throat. 'This 'someone' has sent Nathan a Valentine's card?'
Julie nodded. 'That's right. And she doesn't want to be wasting her time, obviously. If he's, like I said...'
'Gay?'
'Exactly.'
Mark stared at her, still trying to compute what she'd said. Julie hadn't come in to accuse him of sexual harassment, plus she wasn't gay - which he supposed was good news on both fronts - but what wasn't such good news was that she seemed to be interested in Nathan, not him, which perhaps edged his mission into the 'impossible' category. He frowned, then scratched his head again, trying to come to terms with this bombshell, and realised the easiest thing to do would be to say that yes, Nathan was gay, thus heading Julie off at the pass. But that would be dishonest. And Mark wasn't the dishonest type.
'Can I just get this straight? You're asking me if Nathan is gay?'
'Yes.'
'Nathan in technical support?'
'That's right.'
'Nathan Field?'
'Is there another Nathan working here?'
'Well, no, but...' Mark shook his head. 'Can you think of anyone less gay?'
Julie shrugged. 'You can't always tell, can you? I mean, it's not as if people walk around with a badge on declaring their sexuality, is it?'
Mark felt even more confused. Was Julie referring to herself again? 'And you're asking because...'
Julie sighed. 'Because someone sent him a Valentine's card this morning. And she wants to know whether she's wasting her time.'
For the second time in as many minutes, Mark didn't quite know how to answer. Given Nathan's current emotional state, anyone interested in him was probably wasting their time. And while he didn't want to betray Nathan's complicated situation, he needed to know whether Julie had a thing for him. Not that he was worried - Mark was pretty sure Nathan wouldn't be interested in her, not just because of how he felt about things generally, but also out of loyalty to him - but he didn't want to be Julie's consolation prize.
Or did he? Maybe if he told Julie the truth about Nathan, and that he was off the market, he'd get her on the rebound, and while that perhaps wasn't the most honourable thing to do, he'd still get her. But Mark didn't want to do anything dishonourable. Not where the woman he loved was concerned.
'No,' he said, eventually. 'Nathan's not gay.'
'Great,' said Julie. She regarded him across the desk for a moment or two, opened her mouth as if to say something, then suddenly got up out of her chair and made for the door.
'Was there anything else?'
Julie paused in the doorway then she shook her head quickly. 'Just the, er, Nathan question. I'm pleased he's, you know...' She let out a nervous laugh. 'Not.'
Though as Mark watched her leave, and for purely selfish reasons, he suddenly found himself wishing the exact opposite.
Sophie walked Calum back to his office, then leant against the radiator in the hallway for a minute or two, trying to get some feeling back in her fingers. It was touching to see how nervous he was, yet it depressed her that she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt like that. She and Darren had gotten together at college on one drunken night at the student's union, and since then... Well, the closest she'd come to breathless anticipation recently was running for the last tube home.
At the same time, Sophie knew she had a chance to feel like that again, and couldn't let a small thing like Nathan sending Julie a Valentine's card put her off. She also realised Calum was right - you had to do these things face-to-face, and the more face time she got with Nathan, the better. She popped briefly into the toilets to check her reflection, then made her way downstairs, and after a moment's hesitation, knocked on Nathan's open door.
'Hey, Soph.' He glanced up from his laptop and flashed her a smile, and Sophie suddenly felt the need to sit down.
'You busy?'
'One sec. Just dealing with a PICNIC.'
'Pardon?'
'It's a technical term. Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.' He grinned, jabbed at a couple of keys, then gave her his full attention. 'What can I do you for?'
'I was wondering. Tonight. If you...' She scanned his desk as she spoke, looking to see whether the card she'd sent him was on display, then hiding her disappointment when there was no sign of it. 'Did you get my email? About if there were any places left.'
'Sure,' said Nathan. 'The more the merrier.'
'Great.'
'No date tonight, then?'
Sophie tried hard to stop herself from blushing. 'Oh, you know. Johnny Depp called, but I told him I'd rather go bowling with the office crowd.'
Nathan laughed. 'Good call.'
'What about you? I'm surprised... I mean, how come you organise this?' she asked, then immediately regretted the question as Nathan's smile wavered. 'Not that I'm trying to pry, or anything.'
'Not at all. It's just... I know how Valentine's Day can be tough for some people.'
Sophie waited for him to continue, but when the awkward silence grew too much for her, she couldn't help but ask. 'How do you mean?'
'Well... Being on your own, instead of with someone you love.'
'But... Anti-Valentine's?'
Nathan made a face. 'Some people don't exactly regard it as their favourite day of the year.'
'What's not to like?'
Nathan shrugged. 'Come on, Soph. What about the disappointment of not getting any cards, for one thing?'
'I suppose so,' said Sophie, not daring to point out that wasn't something he could complain about this morning. 'But there's the excitement of sending them, surely?'
'Only to have your advances rejected?' Nathan suddenly seemed to be interested in something on the computer screen in front of him. 'There are lots of reasons.'
'There are lots of reasons to like it, too.'
'Such as?'
'The anticipation of starting a new relationship?' suggested Sophie.
Nathan's face darkened, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, then evidently thought better of it. 'Yes, you're right, Soph,' he said, with what looked like a forced smile. 'Who knows? Today might just be the beginning of something special.'
Sophie steeled herself to ask who between, but a noise - followed by a loud curse - from the top of the stairs startled them both. She rushed to the doorway, followed closely by Nathan, just in time to see her boss picking something up from the floor outside Mark's office.
'Sorry,' Julie called down to them.
'Did you drop something?' said Nathan.
Julie nodded. 'Phone.'
'I think you'll find it's pronounced 'iPhone',' said Sophie, desperate to make a joke to win back Nathan's attention.
Julie frowned down at her. 'Pardon?'
'The, er, 'I' isn't, you know, silent.'
As she found herself wishing she had been, Sophie turned back round, and found Nathan's chest centimetres from her face. As he took a hurried step backwards, he didn't seem able to meet her gaze.
'So, how many are there?' she said, desperate to fill the awkward silence. 'Tonight, I mean.'
'Including you and me?' said Nathan, and Sophie's heart leapt at being paired with him - even if it was just a figure of speech. 'Twelve, as it stands. That boss of yours is coming, right?'
'Julie?' Sophie's heart sank just as quickly. 'She said she was thinking about it.'
'Now she's someone who hates Valentine's Day.'
Sophie was puzzled. 'Really?'
'So it appeared when I bumped into her on the way in this morning.'
'Why?'
Before he could answer, Nathan's computer pinged, and he glanced at his screen. 'Sorry Soph. I have to respond to that.' He gave her one last brief smile. 'So, tonight. Five-thirty?'
Sophie nodded. 'Five-thirty it is. I'll see you there. I mean, then. And not just you, obviously...'
She cursed her tongue-tiedness again, and decided to leave it there, especially since Nathan was already intently typing an email, so she backed slowly out through the door, then almost skipped back up the stairs. If Nathan knew Julie hated Valentine's Day, and it didn't sound like he was too keen on the concept himself, then what on earth was he doing giving her a card? Unless... He'd been delivering it on behalf of someone. Or, maybe he didn't actually hate it, but instead, he might have been coming in to give the card to her, and when he'd seen Sophie was already at her desk, he'd been too embarrassed, so had pretended it was for Julie instead.
And even though that was pretty far-fetched, Sophie was pleased about one thing. Either of those scenarios meant Nathan probably didn't have a thing for Julie. And if that was the case, then surely there was no reason why he couldn't develop a thing for her.