My eyebrows shot up and I exchanged a look with Tanner, who looked just as shocked as I felt. I whispered, “They’re extremely sexy, Sy. I love how they show up even more when you blush, too.”
“Ugh.”
Tanner looked at me for a moment before focusing on Symon. “I think they’re sexy too.”
Symon finally picked his head up, looking back and forth between us both. “If you say so.”
“I do,” I said.
“Me too,” Tanner said, though he sounded a little shy. I looked at him and nodded, figuring he probably felt weird about giving my boyfriend compliments, but I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. Especially not when we were all lying in bed together—naked.
I took a deep breath. “I have to run by this repair shop place and drop off a camera at work.”
“You have to work today?” Symon asked.
“No, I just promised Andy I’d run this errand for him since I’m the only one off today. He and Levi are at an early wedding.”
“Okay, good. I want to hang out with you today.”
I smiled at him and kissed his lips. “I should probably get up and get to the store. I think they’re only opened until like noon or something on Saturdays.”
“That’s weird.”
“It’s a woman that repairs stuff. I think she’s the only one that works there, so I guess she just makes her own hours or something.”
Symon grumbled but suggested, “Why don’t you jump in the shower, and I’ll start on breakfast for all of us?” Symon hated cooking.
“You sure?”
He grinned a little and kissed my lips. “Yes. Absolutely.”
“Thank you, pumpkin.”
“You guys sure you want me to stick around?”
“Yep,” I said. “My shower’s too small for all of us to fit at once, but we can take turns if you want.” I kissed Sy’s lips. “You wanna come with me to get the camera?”
“Sure. I’ll start breakfast, then switch with you,” he looked at Tanner, “and you can hop in after me if you want.”
“Okay. Thank you, guys.”
Symon blushed again and I smiled and nodded at Tanner, then I kissed Sy hard on the lips. I watched as both gorgeous men climbed out of my bed, both completely naked, both completely different. Where Symon was small and almost delicate-looking, Tanner was big and muscular, almost bulky. He very clearly worked out all the time. I wonder what gym he goes to? Or maybe he just works out at the station?
Symon and Tanner both got their underwear and pants on—though Sy reached into one of my drawers and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. It made me smile that he knew where everything was and felt comfortable enough to get them without asking me first. That was something I’d been hoping for. When he was here, I wanted him to feel like he belonged here completely. God, I’m already planning a future where Symon moves in with me. Take a step back, Jax. You’ve only known the guy for a few months!
But he was such a great guy, and he fit perfectly with me. He got me in a way no one else ever had. I sighed internally at myself. It was way too early for any of that shit. I needed to chill the hell out.
“You okay, Romeo?” Symon asked as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my chest.
I smiled at him, happy he’d called me Romeo again, and pulled him to me, holding him tight. “I’m perfect, pumpkin. So damn perfect right now.”
He smiled at me and went on his toes to kiss my lips.
I leaned in to whisper into his ear, “Are you okay? You good with everything we did?”
He leaned back to look at me. “I’m good, I promise.”
I ran my fingers over his cheek. “Let me know if you need to talk about something, okay?” He nodded. “But just so you know, my feelings for you are stronger today than they were yesterday. Every day they grow. This… this was fun, but you and I haven’t changed, right?”
He grinned widely, then chuckled a little. “You are the sappiest person I’ve ever met.” He kissed my lips. “And I feel the same way about you.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “I just wanted to be clear. If we’re going to do this again or something, I just wanted to make sure you knew where I stood. Us talking to each other is the most important thing, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He kissed my lips. “Let me go make breakfast.”
“Okay.” I smiled at him, then we exited the room. Tanner was already in the living room, but I walked the other way into the bathroom to shower. Once I finished, I walked out to find both of them in t-shirts and sweatpants, Symon flipping pancakes and Tanner sitting on a stool watching him.
They didn’t hear me, so I leaned against the wall for a moment to appreciate my boyfriend’s ass.
Tanner asked, “Are you guys going to that party next weekend?”
“Oh shit, I totally forgot about it,” Symon said. “I hope Jax doesn’t have to work.”
“I haven’t found a date yet, so I might be going by myself.”
“At least it’ll be a lot of people we know.”
“Yeah, but isn’t there going to be, like, delegates and county executives and shit?”
Symon poured more batter onto the skillet. “Yes, but who cares? You can just hang out with me and Jax. It’s really not a big deal. Chief Callanan does it to help raise money, so you just have to smile and be polite when people come over to you. Other than that, we can just drink the free booze.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” I got a nice view of Tanner’s ass when he leaned over to snag a piece of turkey bacon off the plate on the other end of the counter.
“Like what you see, Mr. Tatted Up?” Tanner asked with a laugh.
I lifted my eyes up to his and shrugged a shoulder. “Eh, it’s okay.”
Tanner laughed. “Asshat.” He sat back down and took a bite of the bacon. “When did you get all those tattoos, by the way? You never even talked about getting one when we were kids.”
I took a deep breath. “It’s just something I’ve done over the years. I’m actually due for one soon.”
Symon looked over his shoulder. “You’re going to get a phoenix, right?”
“That’s the plan.” I walked across the room and into the kitchen, then stood against Symon’s back, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his neck. “Want me to take over so you can jump in the shower?”
“Sure.” He turned in my arms and embraced me, resting his chin on my chest so he could look up at me. “I’ll be right back, Romeo.”
I smirked, then leaned down and kissed him before he walked back to the hallway. I turned around and focused on the food on the stove.
After a couple minutes, Tanner asked, “Why are you getting a phoenix?”
I thought about lying to him, but ultimately decided against it. “It’s supposed to represent a new beginning, you know how a phoenix is reborn from its ash or whatever? I just thought it would be nice to… represent a new chapter in my life after…” I stopped myself from revealing too much. “Anyway, it seemed appropriate with… Symon and everything.”
I looked over my shoulder and saw him thinking about it, but I didn’t want to explain any further. He didn’t need to know that I hadn’t had a boyfriend in two years, he didn’t need to know that all of my relationships failed because I couldn’t fully trust my previous boyfriends because of what he did to me. He didn’t need to know that somehow Sy had broken through and I trusted him completely, that I trusted him more than I’d trusted anyone in a really long time. He didn’t need to know how much it scared me to realize that I trusted Symon the way I’d trusted Tanner when we’d been together. He didn’t need to know that I was terrified of what would happen if Symon suddenly decided to leave me. He didn’t need to know that his betrayal left scars so deep inside of me, I’d never, ever be the same, no matter what I did.
“Jax?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you quit school?”
All of the air felt like it got punched out of me. I closed my eyes
to try and orient myself before answering. “I needed a fresh start.”
He didn’t say anything for a few long seconds. “Because of me?”
“Do you really wanna know the answer to that?”
He blew out a breath, but I kept my back to him so I wouldn’t have to see the look on his face. “Is that why you go by Jax now, too?”
I sighed. “Look, when you left, I was… well, it doesn’t matter. But I needed a fresh start. I needed to do things that didn’t remind me of you at all. So I quit school and changed my name. It’s not a big deal. It made me feel better about myself, so whatever. Now we’re not going to talk about this anymore because it’s none of your goddamn business.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time. “Are you happy, Jax?”
“Yes. I’m happy. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time with Symon.”
“And your job?”
“I love my job. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.” I just shared way too fucking much. He didn’t need to know these things about me, so I changed the subject. “So when is this party thing you guys were talking about?”
“Um, it’s Saturday night. Do you have to work?”
“I have an engagement shoot in the morning, but I don’t think it’ll take too long. Do you know what time the party starts?”
“Maybe six. No wait, seven. Wait, no, maybe it’s six-thirty.”
I looked at him and couldn’t help but laugh. “So no, you don’t know when it is.”
Tanner
“Uh, I guess not,” I mumbled.
Sitting here talking to Jax was… weird. In a good way. I’d missed him. So much. I’d missed him for a long time. When I’d left five years ago, I’d regretted it immediately. But I hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Jax had refused to talk to me and I’d already signed a contract, so I couldn’t have backed out. But I’d regretted leaving him every second of every day. Don’t get me wrong, I ended up loving my time in the army, but I’d left such a big piece of myself here that I could never fully enjoy myself. And then… it happened and it was terrible. So fucking terrible.
“Are you okay, Tan?”
I snapped my head up to look at Jax, then cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I cleared my throat again. “So you think you’ll be able to come to the party?”
“I should be able to. I think I’ll have time to get ready and everything. The shoot’s at like eleven o’clock in the morning, so I should be good to go.”
“Oh, thank god,” Symon’s voice behind me made me jump. He chuckled a little. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t.”
He laughed. “Uh huh, sure I didn’t, big guy.” He patted my shoulder as he walked by. “You’ll be able to come with me, Romeo?”
Jax smiled at his boyfriend. “Yep.”
Symon went up on his tiptoes to kiss Jax and a weird fluttering happened in my stomach as I watched them. They were seriously so stunning together. They seemed to fit perfectly, and I loved seeing them kiss and all the little touches they shared that I didn’t think they even realized they were doing. They were so… loving. I couldn’t help but long for that, for them, really. I couldn’t help but wish that I could be a part of that. And I didn’t mean the sex, although that had been mind-blowing. I meant a part of that… sweetness, that closeness, that love they had for each other. I was pretty sure they hadn’t said it to each other yet, but it was pretty damn clear by the looks they gave one another that they loved each other.
“You wanna grab a shower now?”
I snapped my gaze up to Symon. “Huh?”
He smiled a little. “You can grab a shower if you want. I’ll find something of Jax’s for you to wear, and you can just give it back to me at work or whatever.”
“You sure?” I looked between the two of them, but Jax’s back was to me. Symon nodded and Jax held up the spatula as he poured more batter on the skillet. That skillet was so damn small, it was taking forever to make pancakes. Maybe I could get Jax a bigger skillet if they asked me to come back after today.
I headed into the bathroom and stripped, then jumped into the shower. As I was rinsing shampoo out of my hair, there was a knock on the door followed by the door opening a little. Symon said, “I’m putting the clothes on the sink.”
“Thank you.”
There was a pause before Symon asked, “Need anything else?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
“Okay, well, the pancakes are all done, so try to hurry so they don’t get cold.”
“M’kay, thanks.”
He shut the door and I finished washing, then got out, dried off, dressed, brushed my teeth, and headed back out. I found them sitting at the small dining table with a huge plate of pancakes in the middle. They’d also made turkey bacon and scrambled eggs. I sat down and filled up my plate. “Thanks for doing all of this, guys. I would’ve been fine with a bowl of cereal when I got home.”
“No worries,” Jax said. “What are your plans for the day?”
“Nothing, really.”
“Me either besides your work errand or whatever you call it,” Symon said.
“I have to do that camera thing, but I have nothing planned for the rest of the day. You guys want to go somewhere or something?”
I blinked at Jax. Was he seriously suggesting hanging out with me after we’d had sex? I mean, really? I looked over at Symon, figuring that he must’ve convinced Jax to ask, but he looked just as shocked as I did. I cleared my throat. “Um, like what? What would you want to do?”
He shrugged. “No idea. But I think it would be nice to go out and do something.”
Symon sighed. “You have no ideas, though. As usual.”
My eyebrows rose on my forehead. Symon was being a little… rude. But after a couple seconds, Jax pushed Symon’s shoulder and said, “Shut up,” and they both laughed, so I figured he was just joking around. Maybe I was missing an inside joke or something.
I cleared my throat. “I can head home so you guys can go out. I don’t want to intrude.”
Symon glanced at Jax, then looked at me. “You’re not intruding, Tanner. We like having you here. And we want you to come with us… to wherever it is we decide to go.” He laughed a little.
I looked at Jax and he nodded in agreement, although his facial expression was neutral. He was being… weird, and I didn’t know how to take it. I took a deep breath and looked into Symon’s grey eyes. “As long as you’re sure…”
“I’m positive. Now we just need to figure out where to go.”
“We could go walk around the Inner Harbor for a bit. Maybe find something to do there?” I suggested.
“Oh, that’s a good idea. Maybe we could get on one of those dinner boat things. You know the big boats that take you out on the bay while you eat dinner? I’ve never been on one.”
Jax looked at his boyfriend. “You haven’t?”
Symon shook his head. “Nope. I think it’s really expensive or something. You want to just go down there and walk around. We could grab lunch or whatever.”
“Sure,” Jax said before leaning over and kissing Symon’s shoulder.
“Okay, so why don’t I go get the camera and drop it off at the studio, and you guys can stay here while I do that. I’ll pick you up after, and we can head down to the Inner Harbor and take it from there?” Jax suggested.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to go with you?” Symon asked.
Jax waved him away. “All you’d be doing is sitting in the car. At least you can watch TV or something here.”
Symon eyed him for a minute. “You know I’ll just wind up cleaning your kitchen, right?”
Jax chuckled.
Symon sighed. “Is that the real reason you don’t want me to go?”
Jax laughed. “No, of course not. In fact, don’t clean my kitchen, okay?”
“How about I just do it?” I asked.
Jax laughed a little harder. “No way
, you’re a guest.”
Symon frowned. “And what does that make me?”
“My boyfriend,” Jax muttered before kissing Symon’s lips. I looked away but could still hear him. “My sexy, amazing, sweet, adorable boyfriend.”
“Now you just want to get into my pants again,” Symon said quietly.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, even though I was a little uncomfortable and unsure of what to do or where to go when they were all over each other like that.
Jax suddenly said, “I’ll be back soon.” And he walked out the front door.
Symon cleared his throat and walked past me into the kitchen with bright red cheeks. “Um, I’m gonna clean up in there even though he said not to.”
“I’ll help,” I said, getting up and following him.
“You really don’t have to.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind. You guys cooked me breakfast, the least I can do is help clean up the mess.”
Symon smiled at me, but his cheeks were still flaming. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” I started washing the dishes in the sink. “This doesn’t have to be weird, you know. We’re still… friends, right?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, yes, definitely.”
I smiled at that and kept my eyes on the dishes. “Okay, so we’re friends that have seen each other naked. No big deal.”
He coughed a little and said under his breath, “Oh my god.”
I chuckled and we settled into a companionable silence.
After we finished cleaning the kitchen, I followed Sy to the couch and we both sat down. He was tense and uncomfortable, and it was making me uneasy. I figured that I just needed to talk to him and be straightforward, so I cleared my throat. “Please don’t start getting weirded out at work. You’re basically… the only real friend I have.”
Symon turned to me. “I’m not… I’m not going to stop being your friend or something. Besides Jax and Joel, you’re the only person I like hanging out with. I just… just bear with me while I… figure out how to be normal.”
I smiled at that. “Okay. I can handle that, I think.”
Symon shot me a smile, then turned on the TV and started flipping through channels. “What do you want to watch?”
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