The moment we just had, correction, that I just had, takes me a few minutes to get over. He has a way of sparking feelings inside of me that I’m not sure what to do with. At least my afternoons of seeing him are over. No more trips to Kent’s house, means no more Patrick.
No more Patrick is a good thing.
It’s been a big day for lies.
Robin
On the way home from practice I lower the volume on the radio so I can talk to Kent.
“I was glad Ashley told everyone at lunch that she didn’t do anything with Josh.”
Kent slows down at the traffic light. “Yeah, she seemed back to herself after that.”
“Mmm,” I agree. “Ya know though, people do stuff all the time, so…”
Kent glances over at me. “Yeah and?”
“Nothing, just if someone’s ready then that’s their own decision. So, even if Ashley did, whatever, that’s her business. Of course, I’m sure she wouldn’t have done it if she knew Josh was going to spread it around school the way he did.”
“You’re right.”
I swallow, choking a little, knowing what it is I’m trying to get around to saying. “When you’re ready, you’re ready.”
Kent grins. “You’re right again.”
“Yup, when you’re ready, you’re ready. It’s nobody’s business. Well, except the person you’re ready with. You can tell them.”
Kent pulls into the driveway and parks the car. “Robin, are you trying to tell me something?”
“Like what?” I laugh nervously. He’s so on to me. I guess I’m not really being that discreet.
“Are you trying to tell me that you’re ready?”
“Are you?” There’s no way I’m going to answer first. I can’t believe I have the nerve to even bring the whole subject up. We’ve barely made it past kissing and I’m already talking about going all the way. Kent gets me to speak up and now I can’t seem to stop.
Kent’s face breaks into a smile. “I could be ready.”
Okay, so, we just started dating, and hooking up has been a little…new, but I’ve known him forever. And we are in love. I unbuckle my seatbelt and watch it snap back into place. I open the glove compartment and shut it. I pick up my pocketbook and unzip it and re-zipper it three times. I pull down the visor and check my teeth in the mirror. Just tell him my brain screams.
Kent sits patiently watching my little parade of crazy.
“I’m ready,” I finally say.
Kent slides his hand through his hair. “Okay well…”
“Not right now” I interrupt him. “But soon,” I smile.
I scoot up onto my knees stretching over the gear stick to reach him. I push my body into his. As soon as our lips meet I feel his tongue eagerly meet mine. He pulls me onto his lap and I wiggle my way into a comfortable position making him groan. I can feel something else I made him do as well and my body presses against that something. I like the way it feels. The way everything feels. I’m in love…with Kent, with kissing, being with him. The more he gives me, the more I want. Truthfully I am ready now, a few more days is all we need to wait.
What a difference a week makes. Being with Kent in this whole new way has given me confidence. I’m finally getting the guts I always wanted.
A bang on the window jolts us away from each other. I leap back to my seat as Patrick flings the driver side door open.
“I need the car, give me the keys.”
Kent reaches out closing the door back up. “Yeah, I’m gonna need a minute.”
Embarrassing is an understatement to describe the minute needed. I shamefully exit the car to wait for Kent to…um, land? Is that a nice way of saying it?
Patrick taps his foot impatiently, in a rush to go somewhere.
“Does this have something to do with Ashley? She was fine. I took care of everything,” Kent says.
“Listen, I know now you think you’re God’s gift to women, and every girl’s in love with you, but right now I need the car and you need to go in and watch Matthew.”
“Okay, okay.” Kent finally steps out of the car. “Where are you going anyway?”
“Out,” Patrick says, grabbing the keys and jumping into the driver’s seat.
Kent raises his eyes in Patrick’s direction and makes a face at me making fun of him.
I slide my arms around his waist. “I think you’re God’s gift to women.”
“Why, thank you. I think every girl is in love with me.” Kent grins down at me.
Patrick lowers the window. “I’m right here. I can hear you assholes.”
I turn on my heels and hurry away from the car. Maybe I have too much guts now. Kent catches up to me and we both wait until we’re in his house to start laughing.
“Where do you think he’s going?” I ask as Kent wraps his arms around me for another kiss.
“I’m guessing it is something to do with Ashley. I just have a feeling.”
“Do you think he likes her that much? He only met her a few weeks ago.”
“I think he’s had a thing for her way before that. I don’t think Ashley remembers it but they actually met once a long time ago.”
“Really? When?” I’m curious.
“I don’t really remember the details. He started to tell me about it once when we were younger and I think I made fun of him. I remember him saying her name all dreamy and me laughing at him.”
“Then what?”
“Then, he bulked up and I never made fun of him again… until two minutes ago.”
Forget curious, I’m intrigued. Patrick dated a girl last year from another school, Becca. It seemed serious and everyone was surprised when they broke up. Patrick said it was because something was missing. Maybe it’s because he’s secretly in love with Ashley. Or maybe I’m just on “love overload”, and now that I’m happy in love, I want everyone else happy in love too.
CHAPTER TEN
Ashley
Patrick’s leaning on his car the next morning waiting as I pull in. Arms crossed against his chest, he stands up straight when he sees me and walks over after I park. Heat rises up my neck at the memory of yesterday after school. Is it from embarrassment or the memory of him pulling me into his body and the feeling of those powerful arms wrapped around me? Once I’m out of the car standing next to him the heat reaches my face. I have my answer. Only it’s the wrong answer. I can’t allow myself to feel that way towards him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m walking you to class.”
I click my keychain waiting for the honk to indicate it’s locked. “I don’t think so. You don’t need to walk a whore to class.”
Patrick reaches his arms over my shoulders placing his hands on the roof of my car. I’m trapped between my car and his massive body. He tips his head down, lips so close to my ear I can feel his warm breath on my skin. The sensation takes my breath away. My knees buckle.
“I’m walking you to class,” he says. It isn’t a whisper and it isn’t a question.
When he steps back I need to gasp for a breath of air. Patrick’s protective demand, I’m not sure, but I might have just swooned.
We walk into the whirring crowd of students and teachers rushing through the crowded halls. People continue to stare at me, just like the day before. This time no one says anything. Patrick at my side seems to command a certain amount of respect.
Respect I don’t deserve.
Josh passes us in the hall. His face is swollen and bandaged, possibly a broken nose. My mouth drops open and I turn my head to get a better look as we pass him.
“Did you see him?” I swivel my head back to Patrick, mouth still wide open.
Patrick gives a curt nod. “I heard he walked into a door.”
“He walked into a door?”
“Yup, I heard his phone did too.”
I stop short. “Patrick, what did you do?” I scan his face, his hands for any sign of a cut or scrape, even a scratch. Nothing.
He s
tarts to walk away. “I’ll see you after class.”
I’m not sure why he’s doing this. Maybe I’m misunderstanding. “Patrick, did you?”
“Beat the shit out of him?” He turns and smiles at me. “Yeah, I did.”
The classroom is noisier than usual as I stagger to my seat in disbelief. Everyone’s scattered around the room talking loudly, probably because we have a sub. Or maybe they’re all still talking about me, I don’t even care. There’s only one thing on my mind right now. I turn in my seat and face Kent.
“Your brother just…” I stop.
Kent has some of Robin’s lip gloss on his chin. He looks at me waiting for me to finish my sentence. “Patrick? What did he do?”
I think about it. Patrick is keeping my secrets, I will keep his.
“He just walked me to class, and I think he is going to do it again.” Robin looks over and I repeat myself. “Patrick walked me to class.”
“Oh, nice,” Robin says. She looks over at Kent and motions for him to wipe his chin. She blushes and giggles like they’re these wild dirty perverts or something. My guess…they’ll linger on first base for months.
The sub attempts to start class. I take out my notebook and pretend to take notes. Patrick beat up Josh and apparently his phone too. I bite my nail to hide a smile. Kent may like superheroes but Patrick actually is one. He said he’s going to meet me again after class. I look up at the clock willing the time to go fast. Come on bell ring.
A few steps outside my classroom and Patrick runs up next to me. I slow down my pace, not in any rush to get to the next class.
“How was class?” Patrick asks.
“It was alright.” I still have questions about Josh, but figure it might be better to just leave it alone. “How was yours?”
“Good.” He grins. His arm brushes up against mine and my stomach tingles, an actual sweet little tingle. He moves in a step closer and my next breath picks up the scent of his cologne. I have to stop myself from reaching out to touch him.
As we walk I look up to see the familiar face on the opposite side of the hall. There’s no way to misinterpret the look of hate Tessa’s giving me. We’ve both made mistakes hooking up with Josh. The only difference is Tessa actually likes him. I lower my head. Tessa’s bad, but I’m worse. Patrick’s eyeing me to make sure I’m okay. I give him a quick smirk to give him the impression I am.
“See you after class.”
“Every class we’re doing this?”
“Yes,” he says glancing at his watch and then back up at me. “Every class.”
I stand outside my classroom watching him. His broad shoulders twist with swift precision avoiding the stragglers as he takes off down the hallway. Before turning the corner he glances back in my direction. One more look into those green eyes. My stomach tingles again. Only this time, it turns from a tingle to an ache. Warning me.
Robin
Three days home and my dad’s already back out for another long haul, gone for the next seven days. I feel bad admitting it, but this works out perfectly now that I’m with Kent.
“Probably around eleven or twelve,” Kent says to me on our way home from practice.
“Okay, just make sure no one sees you leave and if you get caught just pretend you’re going to your car or something.” I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m absolutely freaking out. This is it, tonight’s the night. He’s coming over after everyone goes to sleep.
“You need to relax. No one will see me. I’ll be very careful.”
We have dinner with his family and I’m thankful for my quiet awkward reputation so nothing seems off when I sit there too nervous to say anything. Every time I make eye contact with Kent we smile a secret smile at each other. We’ve had secrets before but not like this.
I leave to go home a little earlier than normal. So much to do, I have to shower, shave my legs, do my hair, make-up, clean my room and make it look special. Oh yeah, and freak out some more.
I light two candles and place them in front of my mirror. Stepping back I see how cheesy it looks. I blow them out, but the scent still lingers. Waving my hands around frantically to clear out the smoke sends me into panic mode. Is this too soon? Are we moving too fast?
Kent sends the text that he’s on his way over. I practically tumble down my stairs to meet him at the door. Instead of his normal jeans and t-shirt he’s wearing black dress pants and a button down shirt. This is a first. Maybe I should have worn something different. I spent too much time focusing on what I would wear underneath my clothes and now I feel underdressed. Damn, I should have left the candles lit.
As we walk upstairs Kent trips on the top step. It’s a relief to see I’m not the only one who’s nervous.
“Did anyone see you leave?” I ask walking over and sitting down on my bed. Nervous, scared, anxious, excited, every emotion is running through me.
“Just Patrick, but he won’t say anything.” Kent turns off my light, sits down next to me and kisses me right away.
Good, no time to think about it, we’re just gonna go for it.
This time, no fantasy moves. That was too much pressure and I realize now, I’m clueless. He pushes me back onto the bed. His hand goes up my shirt and undoes the front clasp of my bra. We stop kissing. Our faces still close, looking at each other in the dark. His hand is hovering over my right boob almost like he’s scared to touch it. I think we both know once he touches it everything changes. I’m ready for that change. My back arches up and I press my bare breast into his open hand. Kent’s hand squeezes down gently and he exhales groaning my name. We fumble with buttons, zippers and hand placement. Slowly things start feeling a little more comfortable.
“I guess if you have something, you should put it on.” I feel my face flush in the dark.
Kent stops and rolls off of me. “I don’t have anything. I thought you would take care of that.”
“Really? You thought I would take care of it?” Was he serious? A few weeks ago I was scared to ask for a second slice of pizza. Now he thinks I went into a drugstore and bought condoms?
It’s quiet. We’re not sure what to do next.
“We can do other stuff,” Kent says cautiously.
I have some ideas about what “other stuff” is, and I’m thankful he can’t see my red face. My breath gets quick and uneven. I’m not sure where or how to even start. Having sex almost seems easier than “other stuff.” I feel like I might actually die as I utter the words. “I don’t really know what to do.”
Kent lets out a nervous laugh. “I can show you.” He guides my hand slowly to new places under the innocent yellow covers of my childhood bed. We discover each other in the dark to the whispers, sighs and murmurs of “ouch” “sorry” and “oops.”
The sun peeks into my room. I open one eye and look at my alarm clock. It’s 5:30 a.m. Oh my God, I spring up in the bed getting my bearings straight.
“Kent.” I shake him. “You have to go home.”
Kent jumps up startled. It takes him a few seconds to process where he is.
Where are his clothes? He needs to get dressed. I scramble to the floor, pick up his clothes and throw them at him. “We fell asleep, you have to go. Your parents can’t know you’re here.”
Kent slips his shirt on without buttoning it, he carries his shoes and kisses me goodbye. He’s acting calm, but I know he’s as anxious as I am. I watch from my window as he walks across the street, slowly opening the front door to his house and sneaks back in.
He sends me a text a few minutes later to let me know he’s safely back in his room. Phew. I climb back under my covers and relax closing my eyes. We didn’t have sex, but we talked about it. Talking about it is a good thing. We weren’t really as prepared as I thought. A button down shirt and two candles is not going to cut it.
Next time we’ll be prepared.
We make it through another long day of secret looks and waiting for the night to come. Kent sneaks back over after everyone’s asleep again. It’s a sc
hool night so we decide to put off our “big plan” until the weekend. But we still have plenty of, less awkward fun in the darkness of my room. I ask Kent to stay over this time and we set my alarm clock for 5:00 a.m. Plenty of time for him to sneak back home before everyone wakes up.
As soon as the alarm clock goes off I nudge him awake. He blinks his gorgeous hazel eyes open and yawns.
“Good morning,” he says with a sleepy grin.
“Morning,” I giggle. He looks so cute in the morning. Cuddling beside him at night and waking up next to him is something I can easily get used to.
He pulls me close and gives me a kiss.
“You have to go,” I frown, nuzzling into his chest. “It’s five o’clock.”
Kent kisses me again. His hand is caressing my stomach, slowly inching its way up. “Last time I went home at five thirty and it was fine.”
That’s true. A few more minutes can’t hurt. I grab two pieces of mint gum from my night table and toss one to him. We chew the gum quickly before spitting it back in the wrapper. Fresh breath. I slide under my covers and Kent follows.
Lost in our kisses soon it’s obvious, the right time has come. He knows it too.
“I have something this time.” Kent’s breathing is heavy. “Are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m sure.” My hands are tangled in Kent’s hair and he places small, fast kisses down my neck. We’re in love so everything we’re doing is okay. He fumbles opening the condom and struggles even more to get it on.
It’s not as painful as I thought it would be when he eases into me slowly for the first time. It starts off slow, but then goes fast.
We do it.
Fast. Like, real fast.
A knocking sound in the far off distance brings me back to my senses.
Fast (The Fast Series) Page 10