Fast (The Fast Series)

by Ringbloom, Ryan

  “It’s okay if you want to do step three.” She meets my eyes and we both glance down at how much I’m enjoying this.

  Yes, yes, yes that part of my body shouts, screams…begs.

  “No,” I somehow manage.

  “You sure? It could be a long two weeks until step three.”

  God, it’s tempting. I’m more turned on than I thought possible, but I waited too long to risk things by moving too fast. I can step three myself later.

  “I’m sure.” That I’m going to heaven.

  Ashley slips her hands underneath the bottom of my shirt and slides it up exposing my skin. She presses her bare chest into mine. The sensation makes me rethink the whole step plan, again. Her lips wander away from my mouth, nipping their way to my neck.

  “I can’t wait to be your first,” she says, reaching my ear and giving it a nibble.

  What did she say? One more minute then I’ll ask. I don’t want her to stop doing what she’s doing. Maybe I didn’t even hear her right. Shit. I’m afraid to ask but I know I have to. “My first what?”

  “You know what I mean, I’ll be the first one you …” she searches, her teeth tugging at my earlobe. “Take all the steps with.”

  Damn. We have to stop.

  “What’s the matter?” she asks, sensing something’s wrong.

  She thinks I’m a virgin. I’m not sure why. I never said anything to make her think that. Well…I’m not. There hasn’t been many, even though I’ve had my fair share of opportunities. But there has been a few.

  I pull my shirt back into place wiping my hands over my face. This conversation is going to suck, but we need to have it. The sooner the better. As soon as her shirt is back on I tap my hand on the bed for her to sit down next to me.

  “I don’t think I’m gonna like what you’re about to tell me.” She sits down on the edge of my bed.

  “You won’t be my first,” I say, and wait for her reaction. Her expression is hard to read and I continue on. “I had a girlfriend, Becca, she was my first.”

  She’s thinking about it and I wait. Her bottom lip disappears as she bites down on it uncertainly. “I know I have no right to be upset or say anything, because look at me. All the things in my past, you’ve never been bothered by it.”

  Most of the posters on my wall are hiding the truth about how I felt about her past over the last few years. There have been many holes punched into the drywall of this room following things I’d heard. Some I’ve repaired, some from more recent events have yet to be fixed. I was always bothered.

  She leaves the bed to pace nervously across the floor. “I have to ask, did you love her?”

  I answer her question honestly, “I wanted to, but I didn’t.”

  There’s a shift in her. She stands up tall. The guard I’ve been working so hard to tear down goes back up. “Even though you didn’t love her, did you tell her you did? Did you tell her you loved her?”

  “No, I never told her I loved her.” I’ve never loved anyone except Ashley. Not even close. I’m an asshole for even thinking this, but Becca was a distraction. Someone I hoped would make me forget about Ashley. She didn’t.

  Ashley stays quiet. Her eyes swirl with a million different questions. Even if I answer every one of those questions, I know she probably won’t believe me.

  Not yet.

  Kent

  We stare past each other in class, as if the other one no longer exists. Conversations with mutual friends involve one of us stepping away. At lunch we sit on opposite ends of the table.

  It’s painfully obvious “Kent and Robin” are no more.

  Predictably, Billy stops at our table every day to talk with Robin. I hate that dick.

  For now, their conversations are short and friendly, not loud and flirty. I have to give her credit, after all I put her through with Ashley, never once has she done anything to throw her new situation with Billy in my face.

  Ashley volunteers to me one day that Robin and Billy are just friends, but even if that’s all it is, I’m still jealous. Billy’s her friend and I’m not.

  Patrick drives her to school in the mornings. I thought us having our own cars was the best thing ever, now I wish we didn’t. I ask him point blank if Robin ever mentions me, or the break up and he answers, no. Tells me my name never comes up. Never comes up?

  The past few weeks without her have been downright depressing. I miss her.

  In class I casually sneak a side glance over at her. She leans down and lifts the leg of her jeans up and quickly scratches her ankle.

  The quick glimpse of her skin and suddenly we aren’t in class anymore. We’re up in her room and my hands are touching that skin…exploring it, kissing it. She’s kissing my neck and whispering my name. “Kent.”

  “Kent.” It’s no longer a whisper. “Kent Daniels, are you paying attention?”

  Everyone’s eyes are on me as I’m brought back to the present. I clear my throat and cough. “Yes, sorry. I’m paying attention.”

  “Good, I thought we lost you there.” My teacher’s remark causes a few people to laugh before she turns her attention away from me and resumes class. I make a mental note - no more Robin-based daydreams in school. That means no more looking in her direction during class.

  Still slightly embarrassed, I walk down the hall to my next class. A tap on the shoulder and I’m surprised to see Megan at my side.

  “What’s up?” she asks reaching up to fix her hair. She takes a strand of brown hair and playfully pulls it across her lips.

  “Nothing.”

  Megan’s in the band, some of my classes, sits with us at lunch and she’s also a good friend of Robin’s.

  “Robin told me she’s not gonna do the music thing with us anymore. Kinda crazy?”

  “Yeah, it is. I was surprised.”

  “Do you think it’s because you guys aren’t together anymore?”

  Kind of a bold question to ask me. “I hope not.”

  She looks down at the floor suddenly shy. “I’ll be at practice today. Maybe we can get coffee or something after, if you want.”

  Did she just ask me out? I wouldn’t mind having coffee or something with her, but she’s Robin’s friend and I think I’m better off staying away, so I turn her down gently.

  Megan’s cute. Wavy hair, glasses over big brown eyes and taller than most girls I know. Being tall myself that’s kind of a plus.

  Later, I’m still thinking about it. Was I too quick to turn Megan down?

  CHAPTER THREE

  The day we met…

  I raised the stick I was carrying over my head ready to attack whatever wild animal was beyond the bushes.

  My heart pounded as I crept closer. Stopping, I listened. The sound was more of a soft whimper. Maybe an animal was hurt. Silently I moved in to see exactly where the cries were coming from. Pulling back on some branches, I saw a girl around my age sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears pouring down her face, sobbing gently as she rocked back and forth.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, startling the girl.

  She wiped the tears away with the back of her hands and jumped to her feet. “Get out of here,” she commanded.

  “It’s a free country. I don’t have to go if I don’t want to.” I knew my rights.

  “If you don’t I will beat you up. Don’t think I won’t either, a puny little kid like you I could kick your butt.”

  “You can’t kick my butt, I have muscles.” I lifted the short sleeve of my t-shirt and flexed. I made my toughest face and everything.

  This seemed to make the girl smile. I liked that. She walked over and pinched my bicep. “That’s not a big muscle. I know guys who have real muscles and are big and strong.”

  I wished I had bigger muscles as I let my sleeve fall back in place. “So, why were you crying? Are you sad about something?”

  “Duh, why else would I be crying? Of course I’m sad about something. What, you never been sad about anything before?”

 
“I’ve been sad. I’m sad about something right now.”

  “Why are you sad?” she asked.

  “I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

  The girl thought it over and then invited me to sit in the clearing next to her. “You go first,” she instructed.

  She certainly was bossy for someone who had seemed so helpless a minute ago.

  Patrick

  “I love that you take me on all these dates.” Ashley holds onto my hand as we exit the movie theatre. My favorite part of the movie was when Ashley sniffled into my shoulder for the ten seconds it looked like the couple might not end up together.

  “Of course I take you on dates, you’re my girl.”

  “I know, but most guys in high school don’t. Robin told me she and Kent never really went anywhere. So weird, ’cause I know he really liked her.”

  I have quite a few opinions on my brother’s failed relationship, but I keep them to myself. Instead I change the subject. “So, I get to meet your mom tonight. That’s a big deal. Should I be scared she’s going to grill me?”

  Ashley’s face droops. “Do you really want to meet her? She’s not really normal, like most moms. I’m afraid if you meet her it will change the way you look at me.”

  “Impossible. But if you’re not ready for me to meet her, I understand.”

  “My dad…” she starts and stops.

  I see the sadness flood her eyes. I know it’s a tough subject for her and I wait to see if it’s something she’s ready to discuss with me. Her silence indicates she’s not ready.

  “I’ll meet her another time.” I put my arm around her shoulders and plant a kiss on her forehead. “Listen, if it’s not too cold, want to go to the park tomorrow with me and Matthew?”

  “Yes,” she perks up. “We should go to the one by my house. I used to go there all the time when I was younger.”

  “We can go there. I run the trails there sometimes before I work out.” My favorite place to run.

  “That’s so far from your house. You go all that way to run the trails? That’s crazy. There are so many other places you can run.”

  “Maybe, but there’s just something about that park. And now look.” I place her hand on my bicep and flex. “Feel that big muscle.” There’s a big grin on my face as she pinches.

  “I feel it, it’s huge,” she snaps her teeth and growls. The girl is so damn sexy.

  We kiss in the shadows of her driveway before I walk her up to the door.

  “Next time you can meet my mom,” she says and then adds. “Or never.”

  She lures me in for one more kiss goodbye. The porch light snaps on and two seconds later the door opens. Ashley’s mother stands in the doorway clutching a glass of white wine.

  “Got one to actually walk you to the front door, I can’t imagine what you must have done for that kind of treatment,” she slurs eyeing me up and down. “This one is good looking, probably won’t stay around long.”

  Ashley pales. “Mom, you’re drunk. Go in the house. Please.”

  “Did you tell him we have money, that you’re a rich little girl? Maybe that will get him to hang around longer,” she cackles, motioning to the large house behind her. “It was my money that attracted your father. Remember Ashley, they always leave.”

  Ashley ignores her mother who turns and stumbles back in the house. “I can’t believe you just saw that. Obviously, she’s drunk…and has issues,” she says embarrassed. “You should just go.”

  Even with all Ashley’s little comments about her mother, I hadn’t expected that. I can’t leave her, not with her mother drunk, spewing out hateful remarks. “Come with me.”

  Ashley looks at me with blank eyes, shutting down. “No, it’s okay. She’ll be fine when she sobers up. I’ve seen her a lot worse than that. Really, I’m fine, you just go.” She starts to close the door.

  I stop the door with my foot. “I won’t leave. If you don’t come with me, well, then, I guess I’m staying here.”

  “You want to stay here, in the same house as that lunatic? Patrick, she gets like that sometimes. I’m used to it.”

  “Are we staying here or are you coming with me?”

  Ashley starts to protest, but gives in, realizing she has no choice in the matter. “Fine, come in, I’m sure my mom will be passed out in a few minutes anyway, if she hasn’t already.”

  Following her into the huge house I watch as she takes a bottle of water from the refrigerator and a bottle of aspirin from the cabinet. The glow of the television lights up the dark living room. Ashley’s mother stares vacantly ahead at the screen on the verge of passing out. She’s unaware we’ve even walked in to the room.

  “I’m going to bed, Mom. Do you need anything?” There’s no reply as she places the water and aspirin on the table next to the couch.

  I swallow. This is how my beautiful girlfriend lives. How long has this been going on? Has it been like this since she was little? Ashley holds onto the rail leading me up the long marble stairs to her bedroom.

  “So, what do you think of my dear old mom?” she asks, landing in a heap on top of her bed.

  “Is she like that a lot?”

  “Enough. She’s messed up because of my dad. I feel bad, I don’t really blame her. She got a raw deal.” Ashley wraps a piece of hair around her finger and twists.

  “Do you still talk to your dad?” A quick look around the room, I settle for a seat on a cushioned bench in front of a large white mirrored vanity.

  “No.” Ashley shakes it off. “No big deal.”

  “It sounds like a big deal to me.? Ashley you’ve been through so much…your dad, your mom.”

  She continues twisting her hair, faster, spinning, a knot is forming. “It’s not that bad, Patrick. I love my mom, she’s just sad,” she pauses. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  “I want to help you.”

  “Please Patrick. Drop it. It’s over.”

  My gut tightens. I’d known things weren’t good, I knew it from the first time I met her. Never did I imagine it was this bad. I would drop it for now. But it was far from over.

  Ashley slaps a smile back on her face. She walks over and looks at her reflection, the hair she twisted sticks out like a little ball on the side of her head. “Look at this,” she laughs, reaching for a comb. Her face contorts as she combs through the tangled knot. “It’s bad, I think I might have to cut it. Can you help me?”

  I take the small pair of scissors she holds out to me and snip. The little hair ball of frustration is not that little. I stare down at it before Ashley quickly snatches it away. She throws it in the garbage, ignoring the bothered look on my face.

  “Okay, enough with all the drama.” Ashley’s on her bed, she gets up on her knees and goes to unbutton her jeans. “Why don’t you come over here and we can take a new step.”

  “No steps tonight.” Not just tonight. This is the physical still trying to mask emotional. There wouldn’t be any more steps until she was able to get help with some of the emotional issues in her life.

  “No steps? Are you serious?” She sits back on her heels letting go of her button. “Will you at least sleep in the bed with me?”

  “Nope.” I’m not sure where I’ll sleep, or if I’ll even sleep at all. One thing I do know, I will not be pressed up against her in that small little bed of hers. For now, no more steps is necessary, difficult to say the least, but necessary.

  “I got an idea.” Ashley jumps off the bed, gets down on her hands and knees and yanks on the drawer underneath. She pulls and wiggles with her behind hoisted up in the air. I cover my mouth and look away, muttering a small prayer. The drawer pulls out into a second mattress, lower to the floor.

  “This is a trundle bed.” She pulls off a layer of plastic still covering the mattress. “Never been used. No one’s ever slept over my house before,” she rolls her eyes. “I can’t imagine why.”

  “You never had friends sleep over, even when you were little?”r />
  “Nope, no friends, just me and my books living it up in my big lonely room. Then in high school I met all my fake friends and we never did the sleepover thing.”

  I take a deep breath to keep from saying anything.

  “So, will you at least sleep on this?” Her lower lip sticks out in a pout. “Please?”

  It looks safe. We could be near each other without touching. “Alright.” I raise an eyebrow. “As long as there’s no funny business.”

  “Scout’s honor.” She holds up her hand.

  A big pile of purple bedding is handed to me. “Here, you can make up the bed and I’m gonna go wash my face and brush my teeth. I’ll leave you a toothbrush on the counter. I think I might even have a green one for you.” She scurries off into her bathroom.

  I take a good look at the lavender walls and white furniture surrounding me. Built-in white bookshelves line an entire wall, filled to the brim with all the romance novels that kept her company over the years. Stuffed animals and pretty trinkets, girly hair products and perfumes lined neatly on the vanity. A walk-in closet filled with clothes and accessories most girls only dream of. The ideal room of a girl who grew up with everything she ever wanted.

  Not even close.

  The never been used mattress is all made up. Debating on what to do, I slip my shoes off and leave everything else on. Sleeping in jeans one night won’t kill me. Taking them off might. A quick text to my brother is next. I’ve covered for Kent enough times. It’s time for him to pay back the favor.

  “I’m coming out. Close your eyes and don’t look until I turn off the light. I don’t want you to see me without make-up,” she says from behind the bathroom door.

  “They’re closed.” My eyes shut and I smile.

  Ashley runs across the room, flicks off the lights and hurdles over me onto her own part of the bed. She leans over the edge and giggles. “You can open your eyes. What do we do now? Sleep? Tell ghost stories? Pillow fight?”

  It’s her first sleepover and she wants the full experience. I take the pillow from under my head and swat her gently right across the face. Stunned for only a second, she springs to life. In between little squeaks of glee she pelts me repeatedly with her own pillow until she’s out of breath.