The Ultimate Amish Romance Boxed Set Collection (1-8)

by Becca Fisher

  "You'd better not," Allison insisted.

  Lucas smiled wide. "You have my word."

  ***

  Allison had the same dream every night. She was back in bed with Lucas, madly in love, and swooning like a newlywed. But no matter how real everything seemed, it was all just a dream. Allison would wake up alone in bed, craving Lucas more than ever, but knowing she could never get him back.

  It had been two years since Lucas' drowning accident, and Allison still felt as hollow as ever. It was hard enough finding the love of your life. But to have him taken away was a heartbreak Allison could never recover from. But Ali could not just fall apart. She had two daughters that depended on her. That looked to her for strength.

  There was no strength to be found in Lancaster anymore though. Every street was haunted. Every building held a memory of Lucas. And Allison had no reprieve. So as much as it pained her to leave the only home she had ever known, she needed an escape.

  Allison brought her family to Ohio, hoping to start fresh. The girls got their new beginning, but the transition was far from easy. The rolling hills and bonnets in the Amish community there may have been the same, but Allison and her daughters were in a different world. Luckily she had some cousins there to comfort her.

  But they still had to start over. The community was already closely knit. But no matter the turmoil in their hearts, the girls had their faith and family to see them through.

  "Patricia, would you care to say grace?" Allison asked, with dinner served at the table.

  "That was fathers duty," Patricia insisted.

  "Well in his absence, I think it would be nice if you did it," Allison replied.

  Patricia folded her arms and sneered. "I don't."

  Patricia and Beth were both at that awkward stage in their lives where the hormones were raging and their mother was always wrong. Gratitude had been swapped out for a sour attitude. And there weren't enough sullen glares to go around.

  Allison was endlessly amazed at how the same daughters that used to be attached to her at the hip could not want less to do with her all of a sudden. Yet there Patricia was, cross as ever, and loathing any forced interaction.

  It was a hard enough time raising kids under those conditions even with two parents around. But to be forced to reign in that level of surliness alone was a daunting task. While Patricia was content to take her misplaced anger out on her mother though, Beth instead walled herself off from the outside world and retreated into her shell. Words became hard to come by. Still, that didn't stop Allison from trying.

  "Beth, why don't you lead us in thanking the Lord for his blessings?" Allison suggested.

  Beth just shook her head though, as if the thought of leading a prayer was absolutely mortifying.

  Finally, Allison decided to say grace, thanking God for the roof over their heads and the food at their table, then praying for a blessed future. Allison was not done trying to cobble her family back together though.

  "So, how was school today?" Allison asked, trying to drum up any conversation.

  Beth fixed her eyes on her plate, keeping herself as far away from eye contact as possible.

  "Lousy," Patricia griped.

  "Well, didn't you learn anything?" Allison asked.

  "Yeah. That everyone else has friends but us," Patricia fired back.

  "You know, I'm trying the best I can here," Allison insisted. "This isn't easy for me either. All I know is that staying in Lancaster brought us nothing but pain. I never knew coming here would do the same."

  "I'm not hungry anymore," Patricia said. "Can I go to my room now?"

  "No. I want to know what you think I'm doing wrong," Allison responded.

  "I never said you did anything wrong," Patricia replied.

  "You don't have to say it aloud. I can see it all over your face. You think I can do no right. But I'm going to get us through this. After all, I'm your mother," Allison said.

  While Allison was focused on Patricia, Beth burst out.

  "I want Dad back."

  ***

  "Do you ever wonder what God's purpose is for you?" Allison asked.

  Allison wasn't the only new arrival in town. Hannah Zook grew up in the community, but had found the big city lights too tempting to resist. When her marriage failed though, Hannah sought refuge in a simpler Amish life once again, and found herself yearning for a place she had once called home. The homecoming was not quite as well received as Hannah expected.

  Allison instantly knew how Hannah felt. The two became quick friends. So when Allison needed an extra hand in her quilt shop, she knew just the right person.

  "Ali, you're doing the best you can," Hannah insisted.

  "It's not good enough," Allison replied.

  "To who--God, or your kids?"

  "I know the Lord has plans for us all. But I just can't figure out why his plan involved taking Lucas away."

  "Do you ever think that maybe God didn't do it to punish you, but rather to reward Lucas?"

  "What?"

  "Maybe Lucas had already earned his place in heaven. And maybe this is your chance to join him up there."

  "That's easier said than done. Parenting is hardly a job meant for one."

  "Perhaps a new man in your life is what you need," Hannah suggested.

  "Or perhaps I've already loved the only man I'm meant to," Allison replied. "I'm not sure my heart has room for another man."

  "I'm not saying your heart yearns for another husband. But your children yearn for a father."

  "Could I really marry a man I didn't love?" Allison wondered.

  "You tell me."

  ***

  The Lord had all the answers. Unfortunately, Allison did not. So she prayed. Church service was the one place where peace was a given. Solace was guaranteed. It was a time when Allison could reflect. Talk to God directly. And be reassured that everything would be all right. She didn't know how, and she didn't know when, but it was undeniable that the Lord was watching out for her.

  Unbeknownst to her, a man in the community had taken interest in Allison, and was ready to make his feelings known.

  "I must say, you have been in my thoughts a lot lately," Isaiah remarked, catching Allison coming out of service.

  Isaiah was an unusual suitor for Allison. He was nearly twice her age, a widower, and with grown kids of his own. He also had an empty nest at home, and was eager to take a new wife. Despite his shortcomings, Isaiah was not without attributes either. He was a kind man. Devout in his faith. And wealthy in a way that few Amish were. The kind of man that could provide security to Allison's family. That could fill the fatherly void in the life of Allison's daughters.

  But with all that said, one thing was undeniably missing with Isaiah--passion. Not on Isaiah's part, mind you. Rather with Allison. She felt nothing for him. No desire. Allison felt no attraction whatsoever. And for her, that seemed like a deal breaker.

  "That is very kind of you to say," Allison replied.

  "Quite a service in there, wasn't it?" Isaiah continued, fumbling to find the right words to impress Allison with.

  "The Lord's words never disappoint," Allison said.

  "And neither do his blessings. I just have to look at you to see that," Isaiah continued.

  "I'm not quite comfortable with that kind of flattery," Allison insisted.

  "I understand. It's just that I know how important it is to treasure every moment, and I want to do that with you."

  "I don't know how good of an idea that is--" Allison started saying, before Isaiah interrupted.

  "Allison, I would very much like to take you out."

  "I'm afraid that won't be possible," Allison insisted.

  "If you give me a chance, you might change your mind," Isaiah continued.

  "Isaiah, you're a sweet man, but I just don't feel the same way about you that you do about me."

  ***

  "You're not going to date Isaiah, are you?" Patricia asked.

  Suddenly, dinne
r was silent no longer. The same daughters that wanted nothing to do with Allison just the day before were glued to her answer all of a sudden.

  "I wasn't planning on it," Allison replied.

  "Thank God," Beth burst out.

  Allison couldn't believe the words coming out of Beth's mouth. She was having a hard enough time believing any words were coming out of Beth's mouth.

  "Oh, so now you want to talk to me," Allison groaned.

  "Mom, I can't even imagine you dating him," Patricia piled on.

  Allison snickered. "Finally, you two have taken an interest in my life. And now I wish that you hadn't. Now let's please talk about something else."

  "You deserve better than Isaiah," Patricia remarked.

  "I said let's talk about something else," Allison insisted.

  "You do though," Beth chimed in again.

  "He could provide security to us. He could be a good father to you. That's the only reason I would even consider a life with Isaiah," Allison explained.

  "Reconsider," Patricia snarled.

  "So now you two are the authority on my life?" Allison replied. "Well, you know what? You two will have families one day. And God bless you if you have to take care of them on your own. It's not easy. But every decision I make is for you girls."

  "Isaiah is not the right decision," Patricia urged.

  Allison only had one thing to say about that. "I used to think I knew everything about parenting. Then I had kids of my own."

  ***

  "I don't know what I would do without you," Allison remarked.

  Allison's dreams were becoming more vivid than ever. And they were her refuge. A lifeline to her dearly departed. But the conversations of the past gave new insight to the present. Alison remembered one with Lucas in particular, now almost eerie in recounting.

  "Are you kidding? Men would be all over you," Lucas insisted, laying in bed with Allison.

  "But I wouldn't be all over them. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

  "The real question is what I would do without you," Lucas remarked.

  "I asked you first," Allison urged.

  "You'd move on," Lucas explained.

  "Now you're just being ridiculous."

  "Ali, the last thing I'd want would be for you to give up."

  "I could never totally give up. The girls depend on me."

  "I wasn't talking about the kids. Ali, you're entitled to happiness."

  "I just don't know how that would happen without you," Allison replied.

  "I'm not saying it would be easy. But know that I would take no joy in seeing your life devolve into nothing but misery. Find happiness," Lucas insisted. "I'll be waiting in heaven."

  ***

  It was amazing how certain memories came to Allison just when she needed them the most. How long lost conversations popped up in her dreams. Reality was a different thing entirely though. And it wasn't always kind to Allison.

  So with her thoughts jumbled, prayer was Allison's saving grace.

  "Lord, I need your help more than ever," Allison prayed to herself. "I don't know what to do anymore. How to move on. Whether I could ever welcome another man into my heart."

  But just as Allison was turning to God for help in the pew, she found her attention drawn away.

  "Excuse me," Joshua said, taking a seat in the crowded church.

  Allison looked up from her prayer to catch an eyeful of Joshua.

  "I'm sorry," Joshua remarked, seeing that his words had distracted Allison from her prayer.

  Allison smiled, not able to take her eyes off Joshua. "It's quite all right," she said.

  The rest of service went by in a haze. Allison couldn't get Joshua out of her mind. He had a sweet face. A body that beckoned. And a gentle soul that shone through his eyes. The thought of him immediately entered Allison's mind, and refused to leave.

  ***

  "I just want to say sorry again for interrupting your prayer," Joshua remarked, as the congregation filed out of church after the service.

  "It's no problem," Allison insisted, happy to be speaking to Joshua.

  "That's what you say. My wife used to be all over me for that," Joshua continued.

  "You're married?" Allison asked, the wind completely out of her sails.

  "I used to be. Heaven took her early."

  "Maybe she's up there with my husband," Allison said.

  "I'm very sorry for your loss."

  "Yours as well."

  "I have to say I owe everything to the Lord. I don't know how I could have gotten through without him," Joshua explained.

  "He is not without mystery though. I still wonder why I have been left on my own so early in life."

  "It is not for us to question the Lord. It is for us to honor him so that we may be rewarded in the afterlife."

  "I know that. But that does not stop me from wondering about this life."

  "The Lord is always there when you need him. All you have to do is pray," Joshua explained.

  "Unless you interrupt me," Allison joked.

  "I assure you, there is more to me than just careless interruptions."

  "Oh really?"

  "Perhaps I can show you."

  "Are you speaking of a date?"

  "I am."

  "How wise of an idea do you think that is?" Allison asked, reluctant to agree.

  "All I know is that I never thought I'd feel a spark in my life again. But yet being here right now I do. And that is all because of you."

  Allison thought Joshua's proposition over, and searched her feelings for an answer.

  "I feel it too," Allison admitted.

  Joshua smiled wide. "Is that a yes?"

  ***

  Smiles had been hard to come by after Lucas' passing. But Allison was rediscovering the joy of laughing. She was learning to appreciate the beauty all around her. Of course Joshua made a good tour guide.

  Joshua had surprises of his own though.

  "This is delicious," Allison remarked, taking a bite of Joshua's food.

  "I'm glad you like it," Joshua replied.

  "Maybe my luck is turning around. I've never dated anyone that can cook before."

  "There's a first time for everything."

  "Hopefully this isn't the last time."

  "Well, if you like that, you should stop by my bakery," Joshua insisted.

  "Why pay retail when I can get it here for free?"

  "You are an absolute spitfire," Joshua said.

  "I have to be to keep up with my kids."

  "I'm glad you have enough energy left over for me."

  "Talking requires very little energy. Or, did you have something else on your mind?" Allison pointedly asked.

  "I do. But I'll just leave it on my mind--for now."

  "Would you care to share those thoughts?"

  "I don't think it would be gentlemanly to do so," Joshua replied.

  "We must be having the same thoughts then," Allison replied.

  "Wouldn't that be grand?" Joshua suggested.

  "Perhaps we should use our mouths for eating. It seems our tongues are eager to get us into trouble."

  "Speak for yourself," Joshua insisted.

  Allison tightened up, fearing she had misjudged Joshua's intentions.

  "For me, it is my mind that gets me into trouble," Joshua continued.

  A smile returned to Allison's face, and was not eager to leave anytime soon.

  ***

  "It's amazing the show that God puts on for us, isn't it?" Joshua said, looking at the sunset from the loft in his barn.

  "What's amazing is how he takes the time to make it unique every day. They don't have sunsets like this in Lancaster," Allison explained.

  "Wait until you see the stars," Joshua insisted.

  Allison turned to Joshua. "I think I'm already seeing stars."

  Joshua smiled. "Can you believe that some people just buggy on by without giving this much more than a thought?"

  "That's thei
r loss. Life to me is all about the overlooked gems."

  "So that's why you're attracted to me," Joshua joked.

  "Are you saying you're overlooked, or a gem?"

  "I was hoping for both," Joshua insisted.

  "You're a gem for sure. But I'm certainly not overlooking you."

  "Now now. I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the complimenting."

  "I will not turn down that offer," Allison said.

  "Being here with you, I can't help but think how lucky I am that you entered my life."

  Allison could hardly contain her excitement. She let a smile creep across her face. "From now on, I'll leave the complimenting to you."

  "I can't help but compliment you. You have brought joy back into my life."

  ***

  "What do you think heaven is like?" Allison asked.

  It was hard for Allison not to let her mind wander when looking at such a magnificent blanket of stars.

  "I don't know, but I hope I get to find out," Joshua remarked.

  "Why wouldn't you?"

  "That is not up for me to decide. All I can do is give myself the best chance I possibly can in God's eyes."

  "Those are words for all of us to live by. If only our actions lived up to those words."

  "I'm sure you have no problem with that."

  "You obviously have not spoken to my children."

  "I imagine they have a certain bias."

  "And you don't? Your opinion of me is probably more rose-colored than most."

  "You've certainly given me no reason to believe otherwise," Joshua insisted.

  "I imagine heaven being like that feeling you get when you're falling in love. Like your whole life has led up to that moment. Like things can't get any better. Like God is rewarding you in the best way he can," Allison explained.

  "That sounds heavenly indeed," Joshua said, his mind aflutter.

  "You sound like that had never crossed your mind."

  "I do not usually allow my mind to dream so splendidly. But yours a vision I will not soon forget."

  "How can you work so hard to get to heaven and have no idea what it will be like when you get there?"

  "Let's just say that grief got in the way. I'm finally ready to be happy again though," Joshua explained.

  "Good. Because I have a feeling a lot of happiness will be coming our way," Allison said.

  ***

  "I must say, I would very much like to take you out again," Joshua said, buggying Allison home.