by Becca Fisher
Beth was tired of dreaming though. She wanted to fall in love for real. But the right man had not presented himself. In fact no man had ever presented themselves to Beth. That flattery was all reserved for Beth's older sister Patricia. And Patricia cast quite a long shadow.
***
"Do you ever get the feeling that God put you on Earth for a very specific purpose?" Patricia asked, holding court over the breakfast table.
Patricia was a woman with no shortage of confidence. She had the world in the palm of her hand--just ask her. And despite being raised Amish, her mother Allison had always worried that a life in a bonnet and an apron wouldn't be enough for her. Luckily, Allison's fears had yet to be confirmed. But with her children on the precipice of adulthood, Allison knew it wouldn't be long before she'd have her answer.
While Patricia foisted herself into the spotlight of every conversation, Beth existed on the fringes, only taking center stage when her jealousy shone through.
"Here we go again. What guy has pledged his undying love for you today?" Beth asked.
The sisters rivalry had only intensified over time. But for Allison especially, the sight brought an eerie discomfort. It was looking into the past. Seeing how Allison had argued with her own sister. And realizing she was powerless to stop history from repeating itself.
"Here we go again. What guy has pledged his undying love for you today?" Beth asked.
The sisters rivalry had only intensified over time. But for Allison especially, the sight brought an eerie discomfort. It was looking into the past. Seeing how Allison had argued with her own sister years before. And realizing she was powerless to stop history from repeating itself.
"I was actually referring to finding the meaning of our lives, but if you must know, Timothy Schroeder has taken quite a liking to me," Patricia replied. "I do not find myself quite as taken by him though."
"Of course. What man could possibly be good enough for you?" Beth said.
"It's not my fault that men are more smitten with me than they are with you. Now can we please get back to the conversation at hand?" Patricia insisted.
"Girls, can you please behave? The Lord has blessed us with this bountiful meal and we would be foolish to let it go to waste," Joshua chimed in.
Joshua and Allison felt like they existed solely to corral their children’s hormones. And they were failing miserably. Daughter on daughter cruelty was just too much for Allison to stomach though. She was determined to live a plain and simple Amish life, no matter what her rogue teenagers had to say about it.
"Enough. I can't believe the spiteful words coming out of both of your mouths," Allison snapped. "You're family. Start acting like it."
"Mother, most of our family stopped talking to aunt Abigail for the better part of ten years. Fighting seems to be one of the most common traits in our family," Patricia responded.
"Hold your tongue before it gets you in any further trouble. If we cannot have peace at this table, then we will have silence. The choice is yours," Allison snapped.
"You always take her side," Patricia snarled, dashing away from the table.
The sound of Patricia's door slamming was then heard, followed by a sigh from Allison at the table.
***
Beth couldn't believe her luck. Not only did she feel completely uncomfortable in her own skin, but she also had to share her awkward teen years with the most coveted woman in the state of Ohio. Feelings of inadequacy came naturally. So when her mother swooped to her aide as if Beth was a wounded animal that couldn't care for herself, it was like a reinforcement that she would never measure up.
Beth wanted to tell her mother that, but the words came out different than she expected.
"Am I ever going to find a man?" Beth asked, seeing her mother peaking into her room.
"Of course you are. You're young. Why would you even doubt that?" Allison replied.
"By the time Patricia is done, there won't be a man in town that isn't under her spell," Beth moaned.
"I would not give up so easily. Your sister has her merits, but so do you."
"Yes, but it just so happens that mine hide on the inside while Patricia's are in full view of the tri- county area."
Allison sat on the bed with Beth and consoled her.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Allison asked.
"I know I know. The right man will find the beauty inside me," Beth replied, tired of platitudes.
"That isn't what I was going to say, although there is much truth in that."
"What were you going to say then?" Beth asked.
"That I used to think just as you do. That I would never meet the right man for me. That I would always be hopelessly overshadowed by my sister. And yet I found your father."
"True, but you didn't meet father until after aunt Abigail left for the city. Patricia meanwhile is still here in full view of the local boys eager eyes," Beth explained.
"You seem convinced of your own failure. Imagine what would happen if you had success on your mind."
"That's a lot to imagine," Beth remarked.
"Pray for it. You'd be surprised what blessings the Lord will send your way."
***
"Do you ever think God has something special planned for you?" Patricia asked.
Timothy Shroeder was quick to answer. "That thought comes to my mind every time I look into your eyes."
The youth church groups were meant to bring eligible men and women together in an atmosphere of faith and devotion to find their soul mates. But while Patricia took center stage, Beth was relegated to being a wall flower. She faded into the background. But after her mothers talk, Beth tried to branch out.
Beth had spent the afternoon praying. Asking the Lord for the blessing her life so desperately lacked. But she wasn't content to let the blessing just come to her.
"So, that was a great service, wasn't it?" Beth said, making small talk with Joseph Zook.
Joseph seemed to be taken completely by surprise. "Oh, Beth. Hi. Yeah, it was uh, a service all right. Although great may be a stretch."
"I might have gotten a little excited there," Beth replied, tempering her enthusiasm. She tried to come up with another ice breaker, but came up empty. "Anyway, um--"
"Hey, how serious are Timothy and your sister about their courtship?" Joseph asked.
At that moment, being a wall flower didn't seem so bad after all. Maybe Beth hadn't prayed hard enough. Maybe the Lord was too busy to answer. Or maybe Allison had just been dead wrong about Beth's romantic future. Either way, Beth sure had a lot of time to think about it.
Then, Thomas Miller entered. Thomas had the type of smile that could light up a room. There was a kindness in his eyes. A gentleness in his soul. Not to mention he was undeniably handsome with a wonderfully lean body that beckoned.
Beth's heart skipped a beat the moment she saw him. So imagine her surprise when Thomas made his way over to her.
"You look like you could use some company," Thomas said.
Beth's heart was beating nearly out of her chest at that point. She had never been approached by such a dashing man before. And Beth was almost too overwhelmed by her emotions to form coherent thoughts.
"Uh...yeah. That would be great," Beth stammered.
"I'm Thomas," he said.
"Beth," she replied.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Thomas continued.
"Trust me, the pleasure is mine," Beth insisted.
Thomas flashed Beth a dynamite smile. "Tell me, how is it that a woman as beautiful as yourself is standing here all by herself?"
"Well thank you kindly. But I believe that's because you're the only man here that finds me beautiful," Beth answered.
"Their loss is certainly my gain. I can't seem to take my eyes off of you."
"I must say, you seem to be fitting a lifetime's worth of flattery into one conversation," Beth remarked, her cheeks completely red.
Thomas suddenly became self conscious. "Have I said too much?"
/> "Oh heavens no. I was just wondering why you couldn't have come into my life sooner?"
Thomas and Beth looked deep into each others eyes. The moment couldn't have been more perfect. But just as Beth was about to bask, her worst fear was realized.
"Beth, aren't you going to introduce me?" Patricia asked, cutting into the conversation.
Beth was instantly deflated. A sense of panic set in. Beth seemed to have finally found a man to call her own. But what would happen when Thomas met Patricia? Would his feelings change? Would he fall under Patricia's spell as so many men before had? Would Beth lose out for Thomas' affections? Beth was not eager to find out. But she would get her answer.
"Oh, Patricia," Beth replied. "I'm kind of in the middle of something. Why don't you go back to Timothy?"
Patricia ignored Beth's suggestion and outstretched her hand. "I'm Patricia." She then gave Thomas a big smile.
"Thomas," he said, shaking Patricia's hand.
Beth could have had a panic attack at that moment. She could already feel herself fading into the background. Then, something completely unexpected happened.
"Patricia, it is most certainly a pleasure to make your acquaintance, but Beth and I were in the middle of a most stimulating conversation. Would you mind if we finished it real quick?" Thomas asked.
Patricia's jaw nearly dropped. She furrowed her brow as a most puzzled look was on her face. Men had always swooned over Patricia. They'd fought to talk to her. And she thought Thomas would be no different. So when he wasn't, Patricia didn't know how to respond. Instead she just stood in shock.
"Right. Ok. Um, well it was great to meet you," Patricia said, completely puzzled.
"Again, I look forward to talking to you at a later time," Thomas added.
As Patricia made her way across the room, Thomas turned to Beth with a smile.
"I hope you don't mind," Thomas said. "It just seemed like we were in the middle of quite a moment, and I didn't want it to end."
Beth was all smiles. "I don't mind at all."
Thomas was delighted by that answer. "Can I give you a buggy ride home?"
***
The ride seemed to be built for romance. The sky was blanketed with stars. A glorious moon lit up the night. And of course there was Thomas. There was no downplaying the fact that Thomas had offered a buggy ride to Beth instead of Patricia. Beth could hardly hide how elated she was. And the gesture was one that she would not soon forget.
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Thomas said.
"The company isn't half bad either," Beth replied.
"Bad is not a word that enters my vocabulary when I think of you," Thomas continued.
"What words do?" Beth asked.
"Enchanting. Alluring. Utterly captivating," Thomas said.
"How is it possible that I've not had the pleasure of meeting you until now?" Beth said.
"I only returned from the city a short while ago."
"Just in time, I'd say."
"You know, there was a time I wondered if I'd ever come back here," Thomas admitted.
"Is the city that persuasive?"
"Have you not been before?"
"I don't know that my heart could stomach it."
"No place is without virtues."
"Then why do you find yourself back home?" Beth asked.
"When my father died, I became completely lost. I thought a change of scenery would do me good. But it wasn't long before I realized that the answers I was looking for couldn't be found in the outside world."
"After my father's accident, there was a crisis in my heart as well. I never thought I would be whole again. And then I turned myself over to God."
"What are the odds I'd meet a woman that had lost a father as well?" Thomas wondered.
"Maybe it has nothing to do with odds. Perhaps the Lord introduced us because we know exactly what the other has been through."
"That's an interesting theory."
"Do you not agree?"
"I think it's too early to tell. But if it was God that brought us together, I owe him an eternal debt of gratitude."
***
"Thank you kindly for the ride," Beth said, smitten.
The buggy was stopped in front of Beth's house, but neither wanted to say goodnight. Instead they both gazed into each others eyes.
"I find myself wishing there was more riding to do," Thomas replied.
"Well, sometimes good things really do have to come to an end."
"For tonight at least," Thomas countered.
"Have you ideas about other nights?" Beth asked.
"I most certainly do. If you haven't caught on, I am quite taken by you. So I wonder if you'd give me the pleasure of taking you out."
Beth knew her answer immediately.
***
There were far more questions awaiting Beth inside.
"What happened back there?" Patricia asked, still completely baffled.
"Is it really that difficult to imagine a man taking interest in me?" Beth replied, offended.
"No. It's difficult to imagine that man taking interest in you instead of me."
"If you find that difficult to believe, then you shall find yourself in a state of shock when he picks me up for our date tomorrow," Beth said.
"This is unbelievable," Patricia sighed.
"I think it's unbelievable that you wouldn't offer your own sister congratulations for being asked on a date."
"Have you offered me congratulations when men have asked me out?"
"There have been so many men that it is hard to keep track."
"Seeing that this will be your first date you've ever been on, you may realize that finding the man you want to spend the rest of your life with isn't always accomplished on the first try," Patricia explained.
"I'm sure that Thomas is a keeper, but thank you for your vote of confidence," Beth fired back.
"I think you'll find your own confidence to be greatly overstated. Relationships are about more than unbridled swooning."
"I find the negativity in this room to be overwhelming," Beth replied. I'll return to my sweet dreams."
***
What sweet dreams they were. But for once, reality lived up to the fantastic visions in Beth's head. She woke up the next morning with a vigor and verve that was all new to her. Beth glided into the kitchen for breakfast as if she were walking on air. Her stepfather was quick to notice.
"I see the Lord has found you well this morning," Joshua remarked.
"Sometimes God's blessings are too bountiful to ignore," Beth replied, on top of the world.
Allison smiled to herself, recalling her own grand courtship years earlier. But while Beth's joy was undeniable, Allison could not help but notice her other daughter was nowhere to be found. "Has anyone seen Patricia?"
***
"I don't feel good," Patricia said, hiding in her bed covers.
"As true as that may be, why do I get the feeling this has nothing to do with your health?" Allison asked.
"Mother, this is embarrassing enough without having to talk about it," Patricia insisted.
"I don't understand why you can't be happy for your sister."
"Were you always happy for your sisters?"
"No. But you have a chance to learn from my mistakes."
"Who says I'm making a mistake?" Patricia groaned.
"Patricia, everyone is entitled to happiness," Allison explained.
"Me included. It's not often a man like Thomas is found in Ohio--"
"And falls for your sister instead of you. Is that what you're getting at?"
"I've never been passed up before. It feels so awful. So wrong. So unfair," Patricia complained.
"A little humility would look good on you."
"I can't believe you always take her side."
"That's funny. When you were younger, Beth used to complain that I always took your side."
"A lot has changed," Patricia complained.
"It sure has. You see
m to have forgotten the Amish way. Humility, modesty, contrition in honor of the Lord."
"I'm not sure how well that suits me," Patricia admitted.
"It's irrelevant how it suits you. We all come second to God. And if his wish is to bring joy to Beth's life in the form of a suitor, who are you to deny that?"
"Maybe this has nothing to do with the almighty."
"True. Maybe this has to do with you coming to terms with the fact that things will not always go your way. That we are all humbled from time to time. That we all fall. But it is what we do when we get back up that defines us," Allison said.
Patricia still clung to her covers in bed, in no hurry to move.
"Of course staying in bed will also define you," Allison continued. "Is this how you want the Lord to see you?"
***
"Oh my God. They're so beautiful," Beth said, seeing the flowers Thomas brought her.
"Not as beautiful as you," Thomas remarked.
"Why thank you, but a bonnet and apron are hardly fuel for romance," Beth replied.
"You would look immaculate no matter what you were wearing."
Thomas was making modesty a near impossibility. But while Beth savored every moment in Thomas' gaze, Patricia watched somberly from the window, still turning a blind eye to humility. As Thomas and Beth buggied off though, Patricia was left to her thoughts.
***
"Imagine my luck to have found a man who's good in the kitchen," Beth said.
It was a picturesque day. Thomas and Beth sat in a meadow admiring the pillowy cloud formations in the sky with a full picnic spread out before them. The crisp air was filled with the fragrance of freshly bloomed flowers. And Beth's ears were treated to the sound of birds chirping in the distance. The view of the rolling hills was intoxicating. Almost as if God had painted a masterpiece across the landscape. But as scenic as the views were, Thomas and Beth were more captivated with each other.