by Becca Fisher
"I'm good at a number of other things as well," Thomas replied.
"I am eager to find out what those are."
"Right now I'm content to let God take center stage. He has brought quite a feast for our eyes."
"And yet we're among the few to appreciate it. Most people are so busy with their lives that they pass on by without giving this view much thought."
"Coming from the city, I can't help but appreciate this."
"Oh, come on. Surely you miss the skyscrapers and congestion," Beth joked.
"You got me. Natural beauty is overrated anyway. As is the ability to contemplate the mysteries of the universe in complete tranquility," Thomas chided.
"And what mysteries are those?"
"Do you ever wonder what God's plan is for you?"
"I've spent far too many nights alone wondering that exact thing. But I think I finally have my answer."
"I know that you were the answer to my prayers."
"Those words have considerable weight. I would not throw them around lightly."
"I know the weight those words carry. And I also know that since I met you, a level of joy has entered my life that had been sorely lacking."
"It is amazing the blessings God sends your way when you are devout in your faith."
"Beautiful and wise. You are quite the blessing indeed."
"I assure you, that wisdom does not come naturally to me. So many of my prayers went unanswered that I wondered if I was not worthy of the Lord's bounty. But patience brought you to me. I can only imagine what will happen if more of my prayers are answered."
***
"With a view like this, aren't you happy to be back home?" Beth asked, completely lost in the scenery around her.
"I could look at you all day," Thomas responded, fixing his gaze on Beth.
She smiled from flattery, then nudged towards the horizon. "I meant that scenery."
"I'm sorry, but nature's beauty just cannot compare to you."
Beth had been warned about temptations of the flesh. But until that moment, she had no idea how difficult those temptations would be to resist. She started wondering what would be the harm in just one kiss. Holding Thomas close. Tasting his lips. Indulging in her desire. Beth had never felt such a rush. It was exhilarating. But it was also frightening how powerful her urges were becoming. Beth knew she had to change the subject.
"Is it safe to assume that this will be your permanent home from now on then?" Beth asked.
"That is certainly my plan," Thomas answered.
"How certain are you that you will not long for a metropolitan life?"
"It is you that has not been to the city. So I can't help but wonder if there's a yearning inside of you to get a taste of the outside world."
"I long only to live a plain and simple life. I can't help but notice that you didn't answer my question though. Is there unfinished business in your heart with the city?"
"My heart belongs here. I have seen first hand how the outside world can change a person. How difficult it is to live simply in such a complex world. And I don't wish for my life to become such a tightrope act again."
"Nor do I," Beth admitted. "I am quite happy with you just the way you are."
"I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that."
Beth's heart was just as inundated with happiness though. "Let's hope that joy is here to stay."
***
"How was your date?" Patricia asked.
Beth didn't even have enough time to let the magic of her first date sink in before Patricia was hounding her.
"I'd prefer not to talk about it right now," Beth replied, desperate to bask in private.
"That bad, huh?" Patricia said.
"I meant that I'd prefer not to talk about it with you," Beth clarified.
"But I'm your sister."
"Exactly."
"I'm sorry that your date did not turn out as planned."
Beth thought Patricia was being sarcastic as usual and responded accordingly.
"Why do you wish such ill will on my life?" Beth asked.
"You don't understand. I'm genuinely sorry about your date."
Beth was startled by Patricia's sudden sincerity. But if Patricia was being true to her word, Beth welcomed the sudden change of heart.
"If you truly do care, then there's nothing to be sorry about. The date was so fabulous I didn't want it to end," Beth said.
"Wow. That is amazing news. Congratulations."
"Why thank you."
Beth couldn't believe she was having a conversation with her sister that didn't involve screaming or name calling. But even though no barbs had been thrown, something wasn't right. Beth wasn't eager to explore the deep recesses of her sisters subconscious though. Especially since Patricia had finally taken an interest in her life.
"It was an experience I won't soon forget," Beth added.
Patricia wasn't content to settle for such skimpy details. "What's it like?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."
"Falling in love."
"Now I see. You're just trying to put one over on me."
"I most certainly am not."
"But Patricia, you've been on countless more dates than me."
"It's not about quantity. It's about quality. Sure many men have taken a liking to me, but I have not shared their passion."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
Patricia was in no mood to divulge further. Instead she just insisted on an answer to her question. "So tell me, what's it like?"
Beth tried to put her bliss into words. "It's magnificent. Like having a little piece of heaven right on Earth. I find myself smiling every time I think of him. I can't wait until I see him next. And I can't imagine being happier."
"That does sound magnificent."
"Patricia, are you ok?"
"Uh, yeah," Patricia responded. But clearly she was not. The question was, when would Patricia be ok again?
***
"Do you believe that there are defining moments in everyone's life?" Patricia asked.
Timothy was not expecting such weighty issues to be on the table during their date.
"Is this going to be another conversation about marriage?" Timothy replied.
"Not at all actually."
"Oh thank God."
"Tim, have you ever realized that the direction you laid out for your life was completely wrong? Like suddenly everything you cared about didn't matter? As if you were meant to live a different life, but were somehow just realizing it?"
There were a number of different responses to heartfelt points like that. Timothy however came up with the worst possible response. "What's gotten into you lately?"
"Sometimes only after seeing another persons happiness do you realize what you're missing in your own life," Patricia admitted.
"And what are you missing?" Timothy asked.
"I just told you. I feel like my life is going in the wrong direction."
"So this is about marriage then."
"Tim, I don't want to marry you. I'm trying to tell you that we're not right for each other."
Timothy was incredulous. "What ever would make you think that?"
"Are you kidding? I get more appreciation for my hymns at church service than I do from you. Not to mention, you're allergic to matrimony. Who could build a life around that?"
"I'm not against marriage. I'm just not ready for it. I've explained that to you."
"Don't worry. You can save that explanation for your next girlfriend. You and I are through."
***
"Do you ever wonder if your father is watching you from heaven?" Beth asked.
Another day, another magnificent date. Thomas had taken Beth to a secluded pond just beyond the village limits that she never knew existed. It was like being let in on a thrilling secret. As they sat in a rowboat and watched ducks swim by, Beth allowed her mind to wander to heavier thoughts.
"I know he is. As I'm sure yo
ur father is watching you as well," Thomas replied.
"Do you think he's happy with what he sees?"
"I do not understand how a wonderful woman could be so short on confidence."
"Thomas, you're a first born child. You received unadultered love from birth. The world looks much different through the eyes of a second child."
"I'll tell you what I see through my eyes. You are a woman of great kindness with a caring heart and gentle soul that shine brilliantly through. I'll bet your father is beaming with pride."
"I'm certainly delighted that you feel that way. I just wish I could have my father here for even one more moment. Just to tell him that I love him. To hear him laugh. To feel the warmth of his smile. To let him see the woman I've become."
"All children crave to make the approval of their parents. I can't tell you how often I've dreamed of seeing my father waiting for me just inside the gates of heaven, telling me that I made him proud."
"That may just be a dream now, but one day it will be a reality."
"I sure hope so." But by the look on Thomas' face, it was clear he wasn't so sure. "Don't get me wrong, my step father is great man--"
"As is mine--"
"But when you've suffered the loss of a parent, there is an unmistakable hole in your heart that never goes away," Thomas admitted.
"That is why we must turn ourselves over to the Lord. He can heal our wounds. He can fill the void in our life. He can give us the strength to carry on," Beth boasted.
"I truly don't know what I would have done if I didn't have God to turn to through all these years. When my father passed, even my mother looked helplessly lost. It was in the Lord that we found salvation."
"It was in the Lord that we found each other as well."
Thomas smiled and looked deep into Beth's eyes. "And how blessed we are because of it."
***
"I've been thinking a lot about the future lately," Beth admitted.
"All good things I hope," Thomas said.
"Certainly since I met you," Beth replied. "What are your thoughts on the future?"
"I try to focus as much as I can on the present," Thomas said, avoiding the question.
Beth wasn't going to be deterred that easily. "What do you know about the future that I don't? Because I see nothing but sunny skies ahead."
"I used to feel just as you do," Thomas admitted.
Beth suspected she knew the answer. The hurt of his past clouding his view of the future. But things had change. They had found each other. Hope could return if he let it.
"When I lost my father, optimism was in short supply," Beth said. "But with the Lord by my side, it slowly returned."
"This isn't about my father."
"Then what is it about?"
"I went to the city with grand plans about the future. I was going to marry my Amish sweetheart after she got the college degree she had longed for so desperately. But in the end I got an education of my own in heartbreak. I gave up eveything for her. And all I got to show for it was my plans for the future going up in smoke."
"Oh Thomas. I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"No more tears need to be shed over what happened. I live in the present now. And I am very happy with what I see before me."
Thomas and Beth gazed into each others eyes. Beth knew how she felt about Thomas, and it seemed as good a time as any to let Thomas know those feelings.
"I want you to know that I feel blessed enough just to have your heart. The last thing I would ever do is break it."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Beth said.
Thomas put a smile on his face that delighted Beth to no end. His face filled with hope. And it was clear the skies would be most sunny indeed.
***
Love came to Beth's heart for the first time and had no intention of ever leaving. It was extraordinary. Absolute paradise to Beth. Like having her dreams come true. She never tired of seeing Thomas. And Beth fell a little more in love with him every day. But as blissfully transfixed with Thomas as she was, there was still a question burning inside Beth.
"You could have been with any woman in the world. So why did you pick me?" Beth asked.
Thomas had expected a simple day of basking in the grass, reveling in the scenery as he nuzzled next to Beth. Instead he had to wrap his head around Beth's question.
"I couldn't have any woman," Thomas replied.
"Well, any single woman in my family then," Beth corrected. "Take my sister. She's beautiful, intelligent, and devout as any woman I know. Yet you chose me."
"Are you disappointed by that decision?"
"Absolutely not. But I do wonder what you saw in me that no one else did."
Thomas smiled as he gazed into Beth's eyes.
"You don't even know how beautiful you are," Thomas said.
"That's because I don't see myself as such."
"That's why I chose you."
Beth was confused. "What?"
"It's true that your sister is very pretty. But she knows it. She's been told that all her life. She's accustomed to men falling over themselves for her. She expects flattery instead of being delighted by it."
Beth had not expected that explanation. The revelations kept coming though.
"You meanwhile are just as attractive, yet you have no idea how beautiful you truly are," Thomas continued. "You appreciate the love a man like me can give you. You are flattered by my affection. And you live a humble life of quiet beauty. That is why I chose you. And I do not regret my decision for even a second."
Beth was floored. Words like that had never been spoken about her. Especially not words that were so delightful to hear. Still, Beth was anything but comfortable in the spotlight.
"I'm not sure I can live up to that praise, but thank you for those kind words," Beth said.
"It's exactly that kind of modesty that drew me to you in the first place."
Beth was all smiles. "I don't know what I did to deserve a blessing like you, but I couldn't be happier that you're here."
***
The love in Beth's heart was growing with every passing moment. But the smoldering desire was becoming nearly impossible to resist. To be in such close quarters and not be able to indulge in her whims made for a willpower defying courtship. And Thomas was about to give in.
"I must admit, I find it nearly impossible to resist temptation around you," Thomas said.
Thomas wasn't doing his willpower any favors by sitting so close to Beth in the buggy. He seemed to be almost inviting trouble with his glances. To be courting indiscretion with his words. But Beth wasn't about to give in so easily.
"Well you must find a way," Beth insisted. "Chastity is expected of us."
"That is much easier said than done," Thomas said.
"True. But as good Amish, we can do it."
"Do you ever wonder what the harm would be in just one kiss? To taste your lips. To feel you close to me. To make my dream a reality. Just one kiss when no one is around and no one's watching."
Thomas made a good argument. Of course Beth had those thoughts. She was only human. Her hormones raged wildly. But one thing kept Beth from crossing the line.
"The Lord is always watching," Beth said. "And he will reward us for honoring him."
"I know all that. But sometimes a reminder is absolutely necessary."
"You know the only circumstances that allow us to kiss freely. The vow that must be taken. The matrimony that's required. And yet you haven't even met my parents."
"We shall have to remedy that then."
"Are you sure you're ready to meet my parents?"
Thomas didn't need much time to come up with his answer. "I believe our relationship is ready to be taken to the next level."
***
"So, Beth tells us you've spent some time in the city," Joshua remarked.
Dinner at home had never been so odd. Despite all the men that were wild about Patricia, she had never felt strongly enough about any of them t
o invite them to family dinner. Which left Beth in the unenviable position of being the first daughter in the family to subject her boyfriend to parental scrutiny. And even though both Patricia and Beth were at marrying ages, Allison and Joshua were not terribly prepared to see their daughter grow up so fast.
Patricia meanwhile couldn't believe her eyes at how well suited Thomas and Beth were for each other. But when the conversation turned to the city, Patricia knew she had to have a word with Thomas alone.
Thomas meanwhile seemed to be the only one not interested in talking about the city. "Briefly," he answered.
That was not good enough for Joshua though. "Did it not suit you?"
"Let's just say I'm happy to be back home," Thomas said.
"Why do I get the feeling there is more to that story?" Allison asked.
"Mother, shouldn't we talk about more pleasant things at the table?"
"No, it's ok. It's a simple story actually. We all make mistakes, and mine was being convinced that a better life awaited in the city. Now I know that I belong here."
"I'm glad your heart is not in flux. The Amish life is hard enough even if your soul isn't restless," Joshua said.
"Are your convictions as strong for my daughter?" Allison asked.
"Nothing would delight me more than to spend the rest of my life with Beth," Thomas said.
Beth had been feeling the same way about Thomas, so to have her feelings reciprocated was absolute bliss. Still, it was one thing to have those thoughts dance around in her mind. It was another for Thomas to express his love at a dinner meeting her parents. That was like a dream come true.
While Beth reveled, Patricia seemed not to be able to keep her eyes off Thomas all of a sudden. Throughout the meal her curiosity seemed to only have been peaked more.
Allison meanwhile found her anxieties to be completely washing away. "I certainly could not have hoped for a better answer."
"Well, I could not hope for a better woman to fall in love with," Thomas said.
"This dinner has gone better than I expected," Joshua said, relieved.
Allison agreed. "Yes, you've certainly proven to be just the kind of man I want in my daughters life."
***
"There's something very important I have to talk to you about," Patricia said, catching Thomas coming out of the bathroom.
"God, you startled me," Thomas said.